Hey loyal readers! I've been working on this and had some weird writers block. I started and restarted this chapter about five times. This didn't get as far into the story as I originally intended, but a simple question to my husband lead me here. I like where it went and I hope you like it too! We'll get to Thanksgiving, Bronner's (for those in the Michigan area, you know what I mean) and eventually, Mia's arrival and Christian's first words. Just not all in the next chapter. :)
How It Happened
Chapter 26
Grace
I feel myself being pulled into Carrick's arms. He has a huge smile on his face and we hug and kiss, but only briefly; we are in a court room after all. I feel an anxious need to get out of here quickly. I know it's silly, but I just feel fearful and want to be gone before something happens and the judge changes her mind. We grab our coats and Christian's things. Elliot is jumping up and down, and Christian is looking up at me with a slightly questioned expression. "Are you ready to come home with us, Darling? This time, for good?" He's still looking at me with that questioned expression. He looks up at Carry who smiles and reaches for his hand. I reach out for the other one. Slowly he reaches back. Elliot takes Carry's other hand and we head out of the court room a whole new family!
As we're standing in the hallway getting the boys' coats on, my parents ask us if we want to go out to celebrate. I have to think this all happened so fast, we didn't get the chance to even think about what we would do afterward. "Actually, Mom…," I say as I look at Carry, "…we were just out last night. I think maybe it would be best to go home. Just have a wonderful meal as a family, at home. Carry? What do you think?"
"I think that sounds perfect, Baby. Erica, maybe you and Theo could pick something up while we get the boys back to the house?" My parents agree to pick up some lunch, flat out refuse to accept any money from Carrick, and send us to get the boys into the car. Thankfully the car ride is not too long. It is long enough to hear Elliot telling Christian all about his new room and remind him not to go into his room, or touch his beloved Legos or Godzilla, without asking. I have to chuckle. Elliot, your brother doesn't talk right now. He's not going to ask anything, so good luck on that one. "Wanna' make a wager on how long before Christian ignores that plan?" Carry whispers to me quietly. We both smile. "Boys," he calls to the backseat, "we'll be home in just a minute. Grandma and Grandpa are bringing lunch. We're not changing clothes until after we eat…"
"Aw, Dad!"
"Elliot, this is a special occasion, so lunch will be one too. But you can help your brother get his things up to his room first. After lunch you may change and play for a little while." When we get home, I take Christian's bag and follow him into the house. I'm not sure he really gets it yet. He's acting like his usual stoic self, as if everything is just the same. Elliot is practically running up the stairs ahead of us, and I see Christian let out a deep breath almost in exasperation over Elliot's antics. But when we enter his new room, Christian's reaction changes completely.
I was hoping to see some sort of emotional expression, and I got my wish… Those beautiful gray eyes widen as he slowly looks around the room. This is the room he's used every time he's stayed with us, but it looks completely different now. He seems frozen in one spot, like he's afraid to move, afraid to touch anything.
"C'mon Christian. Look at these!" Elliot is waving him further into the room and trying to direct his attention to the airplanes on the ceiling. As he looks up, I can see wonder in Christian's eyes. He quickly looks at me and I see a look of confusion like I haven't seen before. As I reach out for his hand and bring him further into the room, he seems so lost in his thoughts. He's looking around at all the different décor, but always right back to me with that confusion.
"How's it going in here?" I hear Carrick behind us. Christian looks up at him with the same confusion. "Like your new room, Little Man?" We see him look back and forth between us a couple times, then back to the room. "That's right. It's all yours. How about we get your things put away…" Carrick takes the bag from me and I watch as he has Christian put the books on his new shelf, and his clothes, the ones Elliot gave him before he went to the Collier's, into a drawer with the new ones we purchased earlier. He hands Christian his blanket which he hugs tightly. I'm watching this whole scene play out and see him walk over to look at and touch the bed. It's smaller than the queen sized guest bed we had before, it's in a different place and has a different set of bedding… Elliot shows him the airplane pictures, which are all hanging on the wall by the window. Then he sees the item Carrick ordered a month ago hanging on the wall by the door. I didn't even know about it until last night when he pulled it out the closet in his office and hung it on the wall; painted wooden letters spelling "Christian." And I can tell in that moment, Christian has finally figured it out. This really is his room. These are his books and toys… We are his family.
"Yes, Darling. You're home, Sweetheart." I can barely get the words out, but the expression on his face is of shock and amazement. He moves quickly now, to look closer at everything in the room. I see him holding his blanket in front of himself with his hands clasped together, almost as if he's afraid to touch anything. I'm sure that will pass soon enough. As Carrick and I watch Christian, Elliot runs out of the room, and downstairs. I assume my parents have arrived. "Shall we have lunch now?" I feel Carrick put his arm around me and I reach for our new little boy. Christian walks over to us with that same confusion. I kneel down in front of him and look into those bewildered, beautiful, gray eyes. "It's all settled now, Darling. You're our little boy, forever and ever."
"Welcome home, son." Carrick reaches for his hand as well. He is so good with him. "How about we go eat lunch now, OK?" I have to lean over and kiss my husband's cheek. My husband turns and gives me a kiss on my lips. We see Christian hug his blanket tighter and hear a small squeal. He's still is not completely comfortable with us being physical together. "Get over it, Bud" I hear Carrick reply. "I'm gonna' be kissin' this lady for a looooong time." Carrick is able to convince Christian to leave the blanket up here for now. He's not completely OK with this, but slowly lets go, and puts it on his new bed. We both smile, take his hands, and head down to lunch.
I pull out the fine china and crystal. This is a once-in-a-life-time day, so we're going formal. I can hear Elliot moaning about eating in the dining room; not surprising, but he's just going to have to deal with it. What has surprised me though, is how Christian won't seem to let go of me. He's suddenly gotten very clingy. He isn't willing to let me touch him other than on his head, but he's got a tight little grip on my blazer. It's making meandering through the dining room with highly breakable china a bit of a challenge. I'm trying not to let it get in the way, but I've almost knocked him on the noggin a couple times already.
"Christian," I hear my mother as she comes into the dining room from the kitchen. As she comes closer, I feel his grasp get tighter. "Would you like to come help me get the drinks?" Christian gives her a hearty head shake. "Elliot asked for chocolate milk. Would you like chocolate milk too?" She looks up at me, "Grace, are you OK with that?" As I'm discussing drink choices with her, I feel Christian moving behind me. Why is he getting so frightened all of a sudden?
Carrick
While Grace got lunch set up, I made a few phone calls. I've got us scheduled to meet with Dr. Evens next Thursday. I have to admit I felt pretty proud of myself when Grace told me she wanted to call and I already had it set up. Secondly, I was able to get us a family photo shoot for this afternoon. Being on such short notice, it has to be later than I'd like, but I really wanted that picture on Christian's adoption day. Elliot is going to balk but I want them in their dress clothes. He's also going to fight me when I insist they take a nap beforehand. If they don't, we'll have two boys having a meltdown when the picture is actually taken.
Lunch was pretty uneventful, thankfully. Erica and Theo were wonderful with both boys. Elliot sat by his grandfather and Christian sat by my mother-in-law. Grace was on the end opposite from me and closer to Christian. He seemed to be needing to be near her today. I'm not taking it as any affront to me, but I do wonder where the clingy-ness is coming from. We raised our glasses of wine, and milk. I insisted on white; they've had enough chocolate for a while. We toasted Christian's adoption, our new family, even Elliot's comment that now that he has a brother, he's planning on asking Santa for a dog. Best of luck on that one, Bud.
We enjoyed our cashew chicken with fried rice, and shrimp with Chinese vegetables. Although he ate all his rice and the shrimp, we had to tell Elliot he could not get his fortune cookie until the vegetables were gone. Christian on the other hand, ate everything put on his plate and wanted seconds. The meal was relaxed and I felt that comforting feeling of home and family. As we ate, we discussed the charity golf outing Erica is always part of each year. It's not until May, but the planning starts almost the day after the previous one ends. Theo tells us about the trip to Washington they've got planed for around March. They've decided to visit Dennis and see what the possibilities are. They've chosen March because, to quote my mother-in-law, "We want to see it when it's crappy and it's probably at its worst. If we like it then, we'll love it the rest of the year." I can't blame her. I know every summer I want us to move to northern Michigan because it's so amazing up there. But I'm seeing it at its best. Winter? Well, that's a completely different story. Digging out of five foot piles of snow just to get out your front door…?
With all the adult conversation, I could tell Elliot had just about reached his limit and really wanted to leave the table. It was all he could do not to ask to be excused, a fourth time. Christian was hanging in there, but was reaching his limit as well. I know I won't hear a request to be excused from him, though. We've only had a handful of family dinners at the dining table with him. I'm not sure he even knows it's expected… And how is he going to make that request anyway? When it comes to Christian, I find myself thinking about all the little nit-picky details Grace and I need to iron out.
We tell the boys we're just about done and hand out a fortune cookie to everyone at the table. Ericka makes me laugh when she asks us if we know the fortune cookie game… "You know… The one where you add the words 'in…" Thankfully Theo cuts her off, reminding us that "Elliot has learned so much he can probably read his own this time…" Yeah, I didn't need to be explaining that little game to my two young boys.
"So Elliot," Theo starts, "How about you read us your fortune?"
" OK. Mine says 'You have a fine ca…cap..sity… for the en..joy…ment of life.' What?" His confused face is so adorable. I look over to help.
"It says You have a fine capacity for the enjoyment of life. Well, I would definitely agree, son. It means you find the fun in just about everything you do." Elliot beams at the smiles we all give him. "OK, Theo. How about yours?"
My father-in-law reads his aloud next. "You will live long and enjoy life. Oh well, I guess if it's in a fortune cookie, it much be true. Erica, Darling, it seems you're just stuck with me for a little while more."
"Well, as long as you're enjoying it, I'm in it with you.'" She leans up to kiss Theo and I see Grace smile. I know she appreciates that her parents are still so in love. Christian has his slightly surprised and shocked expression which this time, makes me chuckle. Erica continues, "OK, my turn. Let's see here… Oh you're kidding me!" She looks up at us with a mischievous grin. "I'm going to read this, but in my mind, I'm add those other two words. You have unusual equipment for success. Use it properly." Now I'm laughing out loud, Theo leans down for a more passionate kiss, Grace is hiding her face and this time both boys are in shock and a little scared, over their grandparents' show of affection.
"Alright, alright… Moving on…" I cut in, trying to help shift my wife's thoughts of her parents away from wherever they just went. I'm sure if it was me, I'd probably be scarred for life. "Mine says, Life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change. Well, I'd say that's just about right on for today, isn't it?"
"Carry, hand that to me I want to keep that one, and put it in the photo album. We can put it with the picture. Elliot, yours too. Maybe Christian and mine as well, depending on what they say." I hand her my fortune. I think that's a great idea. I hope theirs are just as good. "Me next," she starts, "Well then… I have… In order to get the rainbow, you must endure the rain." Grace takes a moment and I know she's reflecting on what she just read. "I like that," she says quite matter-of-fact, but I can hear the catch in her voice. "I think we've endured enough rain. I'm hoping we're heading toward the rainbow, now." I understand exactly what she's saying. Christian has endured enough rain for a lifetime. Can our little boy just have a few rainbows now?
"Yeah. That one goes in the book too, Baby." I can see Grace's eyes getting glassy and ask Erica to read Christian's fortune.
"Christian, what does yours say? Can Grandma help you read it? Mommy needs a minute." She holds out her hand and Christian cautiously hands her the small strip of paper. I see her read it silently at first, then lean back in her seat. "The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said."
"What isn't being said?" I look down at our newest, most complicated, and quietest member of my family. I notice we all are looking at him. "What isn't being said…." Those eyes look back at me and I find myself praying we'll be able to understand at least some of what he isn't saying.