"Kol and Caroline want kids but nobody thinks they are ready. They both are hurt by the comments and set out to prove them wrong?" –Guest
"kol and Caroline are having a baby and forced to go to birthing classes. they spend most of class bantering." -P.M
Mostly humor with some fluff. Purely dialogue.
We are all the sprog.
"Welcome to Lamaze class, future mommies and daddies!"
"She's annoying."
"It's only been five seconds, Kol. Shut up."
"But look at her. She's all cheeriness and yipping about like some Chihuahua on drugs. Now that I think about it, she kind of looks like one…"
"Kol! Shut up!"
"Okay, now we're going to be doing some breathing exercises."
"Maybe she should do that herself. Does she even breathe between sentences?"
"Kol, shut up and get behind me!"
"Fine, fine. No need to be so snippy…Ow! What was that for, Forbes?"
"For being a dick! Now get behind me and let's get this over with!"
"I don't think I like it when you're all bossy and mean like this. I mean, it's okay when we're in bed cause it's kind of hot but out of it…"
"If you don't get behind me right now and do as the instructor says, I will make sure we can never have more children!"
"That actually might be a blessing since pregnancy turns you into Caroline the Hulk."
"Kol!"
"Ooh, you're turning red. Does that mean you're going to get big and smash shit?"
"I'm going to smash your skull in…"
"Excuse me. Is there something wrong?"
"Yes, I've decided to be a single parent. I will not be requiring this jerk to be with me. Please escort him out."
"Now, wait a minute. You don't get to make decisions like that, Caroline. That is my sprog inside you and I plan to take full responsibility for it!"
"Oh my God! I have half your DNA in me right now and it's going to be some snarky little monster with a fondness for violence! I take it back! I don't want this kid anymore!"
"Ma'am…"
"Well, it's too late now! That baby's coming out of you and he's our kid whether you like it or not. We're going to take care of him and her and not do any of the terrible shit our- well mostly my parents – did to us. We're going to love him and take care of him and he is going to be the luckiest, spoiled brat in the world."
"Kol…"
"I love you and that baby. And we're going to be fine no matter what our friends and family say. It doesn't matter if they think we're not ready or should never have kids, the sprog is ours. We are the sprog."
"Kol…"
"Sir…"
"Right? Uh, get behind her and hold her like this?"
"Yes?"
"And then we ask her to breathe? Okay, try breathing now, darling- are you crying?"
"Shut up!"
"Okay, okay. Seriously, breathe, Caroline."
"I'm trying."
"I know. I know."
"You're an asshole, just so you know."
"I don't think the sprog will mind."
"Kol?"
"Hm?"
"Please stop calling our unborn child that."
"We can call him Junior, I guess – are you crying again?"