Dear Loyal Readers, (and anyone new to my story)

You know I try to keep EL James original ideas as the basis for my writings. That being said, you will see some of her new information here in this chapter (from Grey). Thank you for reading!

Love, Kelly

How It Happened

Chapter 34

Grace

My parents returned from their trip out west and came over this evening to tell us all about it. And of course, bring presents for the boys. Elliot has experienced this before and knew immediately there would be something from Grandma and Grandpa for him. Christian is still a little stand off-ish with my parents but interestingly seems to be more in awe of my father than afraid of him now. Since my mother has been our baby-sitter pretty often, he seems relaxed with her. He still keeps a bit of a distance, especially if they start touching and hugging Elliot. That seems to be when he moves closer to either me or Carrick.

He was very surprised though, when they pulled out gifts for him too. He seemed confused and kept looking up to me as they pulled more and more items out of their bags. I tried comforting him; "Isn't that wonderful, Christian? Grandma and Grandpa brought you some presents from out west." Elliot was more than thrilled with his toys, t-shirts, and candy- some from Oregon where Peter lives, and the rest from Washington. Dennis sent back a Seattle Mariners baseball jersey for each of the boys, which had Elliot over the moon! Christian watched him and kept looking back and forth from Elliot to his grandparents. I began to wonder if he really understood that these people are my parents, and so, are his family. He seemed confused as to why they'd have presents today when most other times they just come over for dinner, or to baby-sit because we were leaving. Maybe that's where the concern was coming from. Did he think we were leaving because they were here? I should have caught that one.

Once Elliot had his Seattle Mariners jersey on, Christian decided to put his on too. Elliot gave his grandparents some more hugs and yelled to his brother to follow him outside so they could throw the ball around. Hmmm. I didn't think we had a mitt for Christian. I voiced this little concern to Carrick and he followed them out to get them situated.

With the boys and their father out playing ball, I lead my parents into the kitchen to make some coffee and take the chance to have the discussion with them that they should have had with me- not Carrick- back in the fall. "So, Mom….Dad… What did you do out there? Did you see anything new? Find any new… locations?" The inflection of my voice gives away that I know something's up. Both of my parents look a little sheepish and keep looking at each other. "It's OK. Carrick told me the real reason you went out there." Now shock? Really? "You didn't think my husband would keep something that big from me, did you?"

"Grace…" my father starts, and it's evident he's not sure how to proceed. "We didn't mean for Carrick to keep anything from you. We were just not certain at that point. Just…. thinking and planning to do a little looking. We never planned on actually buying a place…"

"Buying?!" Wait one moment please. Carrick didn't tell me this! "What are you saying to me? Did you actually buy a place out there? That fast? How?..." My husband comes back in from the backyard.

"The boys are good. I got them all set up with…." He sees my expression and I guess I'm fuming. "What?" He's looking back and forth from me to my parents. "Hold up. What happened…?" I must give him a serious glare because his arms go up in surrender, "I was in the backyard. I wasn't even in here!"

"You knew!"

"Knew what?"

"About these two" I angrily gesture to my parents, "buying a place in…" I realize I don't even know exactly where. "Someplace out on the west coast!"

"Yeah. I told you that. Remember? I said their trip was more to find a place rather than just visit."

"But buy one? Already?" I can't even wrap my brain around what's happening right now. I need to sit down... and I'm already sitting down!

"Wait, you two bought a place? Where?" How my husband can be so calm right now is beyond me. I just want to scream, and run, and hide…. This is too much too fast. My husband sits at the table with us, and the three of them are conversing and sharing stories as if this is just any other day. My parents are definitely moving to… the west. I don't even hear them tell Carrick where they're going. Oregon near Peter? Washington with Dennis? Oh, hell, they're not planning to go somewhere in California are they? "I appreciate that Theo, but please let me take care of that issue." Oh damn, what now? "I've already put out a few feelers and have some positive interest, so we're good for the time being." Feelers? He's not talking about law firms, is he? "Besides, there are still a few things we want to do with the boys here in Michigan. We're not quite ready to pack up and head out just yet."

Carrick correctly reads my ineptitude to do anything right now other than sit in a confused stupor and he gets cups for the coffee. As the three of them continue to talk, I must still be in shock because I realize I've had half a cup and didn't even taste it. "Mom… Daddy… What happened? How did this happen so quickly…"

"Well, Darling…" My mother has that tone; the one where she's trying to be sweet while she drops a hard truth on you. "We had a wonderful visit with Peter and Theresa. The kids are growing so fast. They're already five and nine. We love being here with Elliot, and now Christian, but we realized while we've shared a lot here, we've missed a lot, out there." I guess I can't argue that point. "Peter was saying how happy he is for you and Carrick, and Christian's adoption, but also how bummed out he is that the kids aren't growing up knowing their cousins... or grandparents."

"And Gracie," my father chimes in, "They're all still young enough that if you and Carrick made the move, that could easily be rectified."

This is all becoming far too real, far too fast. "Daddy," I let out a deep sigh. "I get it. I do. I miss the kids, and sometimes I even miss my brothers." We all chuckle a bit which lets out some tension, thankfully. "But I heard Carrick tell you we have plans here in Michigan with the boys. So even if you left tomorrow, we'd be a few years behind you."

"I was planning more like a year and a half, actually." Carrick is looking a little sheepish.

"You're planning? You already decided this? Please tell me where I was when the time frame for moving out west was the topic of discussion?" My husband lets out a sigh of his own and is running his hands through his hair. Oh, he has no right to be the one frustrated with this conversation! "I'm serious Carrick! We never talked about this. Wetalked about talking about this, but no decisions were ever made."

"Granted, that conversation hasn't happened yet, but I've done some thinking." Oh, so now he uses his 'calm my wife down' tone. "A year and a half gives us two more summers here, and we can have the boys in Washington for the beginning of a school year. I don't want to uproot them in the middle of one, if we can avoid it." When did he do all this 'thinking?' I mean, it makes sense, but I would have liked to be part of the plan. "Elliot would probably do OK, but I don't know about Christian. We've already talked about him waiting a year to even start, since he's not talking yet. Neither of us has any idea how he'll do with us dropping him off and just leaving him in a classroom, with no way to communicate. Imagine what could happen if all of a sudden he has to switch into some new classroom in the middle of the school year."

Just then we hear a wail from outside and it only gets louder when he hear our son come in through the sliding door. "OW! MOMMMMMYYY!" Elliot comes into the kitchen holding his eye. Oh, no.

"Hey Buddy," Carrick starts, "what'd you do out there?" He's trying to calm our son while I examine the damage. He's going to have one heck of a black eye. It's already bruising. I can see the stitch marks from the ball on his cheekbone and it's swelling pretty fast. Elliot's trying to give us an explanation, but it's a bit mottled between his crying and my examination. "So the ball was stuck in the crab apple tree?" I put an ice pack on him as my husband tries to find out what happened. "Oh, so you climbed up to get it and it fell on your face." I think he needs to be seen; get and x-ray to check the eye socket for any fracture of the bones or the socket floor. And with an impact to his head, he could even have a concussion. "You do know that's what your baseball mitt is for, right Bud?" I know Carrick is trying to lighten the situation so Elliot doesn't get too scared, but we need to get going. This thing's looking ugly.

As I'm holding my son, Carrick gets his keys and we're about to head out the garage door when my father asks a very important question. "Where's Christian?" Oh my word. How could we even… Carrick asks Elliot about his brother, who replies with a tearful 'I don't know.' I know he's getting scared and his eye has to be hurting pretty badly, but I need to know where Christian is. We have to tell him where we're going, and why we're leaving. He can't just find us gone. I try to explain to my father, how to explain this all to Christian. If it's not handled correctly, I fear it could set him back several steps… "Don't worry, Grace. We'll take care of it. Go." My father waves us out of the house. We do need to get Elliot to the hospital, but we also need to find our younger son… What do we do? "Gracie… Sweetheart… go. We've got this." My father is already on his way out the back door. I hope I'm doing the right thing, but we trust my parents. And Christian knows them, so we head out to the car with Elliot and I pray everything will be somewhat smooth while we're gone. Please Lord, make this OK.

Theo

Well, that was certainly a quick turn of events. One moment we're having coffee trying to explain to our daughter about our decision to move to Washington, and the next we're scouring the backyard looking for our grandson. I have to admit, I thought he'd be right outside the door. However, I've been out here a couple minutes already and still haven't found him. I'm getting a bit concerned since this yard is nice, but it isn't that big. I hope he's just hiding and didn't run off somewhere.

Maybe he's hiding in the bushes. He's small enough. But why would he be hiding? Does he think Elliot's injury is his fault? I know he packs quite the punch when he wants to, but I don't think he could throw a ball well enough to do that kind of damage. Or even get it stuck in a tree. Then again, crab apples aren't very tall. "Christian! You need to come out, young man. It's alright. Elliot will be OK. It's not your fault…" I must have yelled to him about five times already with no response. Then again, the little guy doesn't talk, so what am I expecting to hear?

Erica went to check the front yard, and I'm about to call out for the sixth time, when I hear a high pitched whimper coming from behind the tool shed. No, not from behind… The small window is open just enough that I can hear him. He's in the shed. Not sure why, but something stops me from just opening the door. I want to call out to Erica that I've found him, but I don't know if she could hear me, and I'm not sure if Christian would react well to that. He chose to hide for a reason.

I decide to talk him out rather than go in to get him. I know he won't let me touch him and Grace has told us about his past abuse, so I'm worried he'll think I'm trying to hurt him if I do. I don't want to scare the boy. He seems to be frightened enough already. "Christian?" I call calmly through the window. I can't see him, so he must be hiding under it. "Christian? Why are you hiding, young man? You know it's OK. It's not your fault." This gets a louder noise; kind of a squeal and cry all mixed together. "Your mother and father took your brother to the hospital to make sure he's alright. Your grandmother and I are going to stay with you here at the house until they come back. Understand? It's alright."

I'm not hearing much more from him. I am a little concerned that there are some sharp tools in that shed. I don't want to be meeting up with Grace and Carrick with any more injuries. "How about you come out and we'll head back inside. Maybe we can get Grandma to make us some cookies. What do you think about that idea?" I hear another whimper but also rustling of what sounds like some kind of garden tools. "If you won't come out, I'll have to come in. I don't know if there's room enough for the both of us." I hear more movement resulting in something falling and landing loudly. "Christian, you have to come out or you're going to get hurt in there. I'm counting to three and if you're not out, I'll come get you. But if I have to get you myself, I may have to touch you, so you might…" Suddenly there's a loud squeal and a creaking noise as the door opens. I see him shaking his head and holding his arms out to hold me off.

"There's a good boy. I'm glad you came out on your own. Stay right there while I put these tools back for your father." I head into the shed, leaving as much space between the two of us as I can, although I'm a little concerned he may run off while I'm not looking. I continue talking to him about whatever I can think of, just to be sure he stays put. "Grandma and I have a lot to tell you and Elliot about our trip out west…." I try to put the rake and other tools back into some semblance of order. "We saw the ocean and got to ride in a big sailboat. I think your mother would love to do that out there…" When it seems relatively organized I close the door behind me. "Let's head inside now." I hold out my hand but I just get more head shaking. He starts pulling on his shirt sleeve. By the looks of it, it seems he's been doing that for a while. He's obviously very nervous about this whole situation. "No you don't want to go inside? Or no you don't want to hold my hand?" I realize too late that he's got no way to answer me. I try again, after putting my hands in my pockets. "How about we just walk together?" I start heading back toward the house and notice he's following. Thank goodness.

Once we're inside I find Erica and she agrees to make some cookies. We try to make this a group project, but I'm all thumbs in the kitchen and Christian isn't really helping as much as just making a mess. Very quickly my wife kicks us out, so I take Christian with me into the family room.

He sits next to me on the sofa, but not near enough for any physical contact. He's still pulling on his sleeve, however, it's not as intensely as earlier. Didn't Erica tell me that means something? I decide to ignore it and see if it gets more serious or calms a bit. We brought some photos from the trip that we never even got to earlier, so I decide to occupy his attention with them. "See there? That's Rebecca. She's you cousin. That means she's your mommy's big brother's daughter." The confusion on his face makes it evident that means nothing to him. "And this one is Peter Junior. We all call him PJ. He's just a little older than Elliot." I show him his Uncle Peter and Aunt Theresa, as well as their home and several pictures from our time hiking and bird watching. "Yeah, the kids weren't super excited about the birds, but the hike was beautiful. Has your Daddy taken you hiking yet, young man?"

Again, I get confusion, so I'll take that as a no. It is only early April, so hiking in Michigan is still a few weeks away. "Here are some pictures from Washington. Do you remember…" Yep. He remembers. I don't even get to finish and he's already pushing Dennis' picture away. "I know you didn't have the best first impression of Dennis, but he did buy you that baseball jersey you're wearing." Christian looks down at himself and then points to the picture with some kind of expression. I looks a little negative but not anger... How does Gracie do this with him all day, every day? This is not easy.

"And if I recall, he bought you a Detroit Tigers shirt too. So, you know, he's not all that bad." I hear him let out a soft sigh and he leans over to look at the picture again. I hand it to him, but he doesn't take it. He just looks. At the picture, back at me… Then he points to the rest of the pile. I think he wants me to keep going. "So yes, we got to spend some time with your Uncle Dennis. When you move out there, you'll see. He's a great son, and a fun uncle. He can drive me to drink, but there's no doubt he's entertaining."

I continue to show him more and more pictures of Washington; the sound, the Space Needle, and our new place. "See back there? Those are the apple trees." I show him another of the orchard. "Washington is famous for apples, and your grandmother and I bought this small farm house and this apple orchard. It's not too big, but it does produce a lot of apples. I plan to sell some and make a little money from the place too."

"Theo! You shouldn't be telling him about that yet!" Erica has come into the room with a plate of cookies and some milk. "I mean, we were keeping that a secret for now."

I hand Christian two cookies. He takes a huge bite and I can see this is, by far, a much more pleasing activity for him than looking at pictures. "Why are you so upset, Sweetheart? What's he going to do? Tell on us? The boy doesn't speak."

"Yeah, well, just our luck, he'll start tomorrow and tell Grace all about your plan to start a new business growing apples. And if I may, this is supposed to be a small venture; not some big production. We're moving out there to be near the kids and the grandkids. I do not want to get tied down to a farm and never see the family because was have to weed the trees, or whatever." She really has no idea how this works. I have to laugh at the idea of us weeding an apple orchard.

"I'm sure we're fine, Erica." I turn to my grandson, "Can you keep this a secret, Christian?" He looks a little nervous. "If you can keep this a secret, I'll let you have another cookie?" This gets an enthusiastic head nod. I don't know if he even knows what I'm talking about, other than the cookie part. "But you know Erica, I can see this becoming something really fun. What if we took some space to grow a pumpkin patch? Then we can have people come and pick their own apples and pumpkins and maybe get a tractor to give hay rides…" I chuckle as I watch my darling wife head back into the kitchen mumbling how it's all business with me. "I'll let you in on another secret Christian, she's right. It is all business with me. I can't help it. My brain just works that way. I see something and immediately wonder how I can get it to turn a profit. Entrepreneurship, young man. That's what this country needs; business men. I'm sure your father will have other plans for you, but hell, that last thing it needs is more lawyers!"

"What was that about lawyers, Theo?" I hear my son-in-law coming through the door and I have to laugh.

Grace

Thankfully the ER wasn't over crowded today, and my being on staff makes things so much easier. I can't actually treat my own family, and really, I wanted to be Elliot's mom and comfort him, not the scary doctor poking at him. Everyone there knows Elliot now too, so that helped calm him down quite a bit. His eye is in still significantly swollen and he can't see out of it very well. He still needs to ice it, and was given some medication for the swelling and pain. Thankfully there's no fracture or signs of concussion, but we'll watch over the next 24 hours, just to be sure.

I called earlier and my mother told me Christian was fine. She was making dinner for the three of them so I didn't need to worry about his schedule. I was so thankful my parents were there when this happened. It gets me thinking about their move out west. They bought a place. It's happening. So what's going to happen with us? With Christian's unique circumstances, our choices on child care are limited. Not that I always need to rely on my parents, but he knows them. They know him and all his… issues.

I have to ask myself what's keeping us in Michigan? The water? I do love the water, and these lakes are fresh! Noting tries to eat you in these waters. But Carrick's parents are gone, and with my family all out west… I need to do some research on Oregon and Washington. Maybe there's a nice hospital, in a nice city, near some water, that needs a pediatrician.

Carrick is carrying Elliot as we walk in the house. This may be a bit overkill, but the boy can't see very well and I know it still hurts. I see my dad and our little boy in the family room on the sofa, but when Christian sees us, he quickly climbs down and starts running down the hall…. Where's he going? What is he doing? That's Carrick's office. Is he hiding from us?

I direct Carrick to get Elliot settled on the sofa while I find out what my younger son is up to. I don't want to frighten him or cause any outburst, but I can hear some kind of noise in there. I cannot let him mess with Carrick's things. "Christian…" As I open the door, I'm met with the saddest little face and he's sitting in the time out chair… Oh my heart just wants to break. "Darling, why are you in here? Did something happen while we were gone?" He's looking at me and I can see some tears welling up in his slate gray eyes. He points back toward the family room. "What is it, Sweetheart? Did something happen with Grandpa?" I get a slow head shake, and a small fingers points back toward himself. To his eye.

"Are you worried about Elliot's eye, Darling?" He puts his hands back into his lap and it's evident he's remorseful about something. "Are you upset because you think you hurt Elliot?" I get a few quiet whimpers and he won't look at me. It hits me; he put himself in time-out. This is so precious, part of me wants to just laugh. "Is that what you think? You hurt Elliot?" He nods that adorable copper hair. "And so you're in time-out because you hurt your brother?" More nodding and I just want to hug him!

"Look at me, Sweetheart…" Somehow my brain moves into overdrive and I realize in an instant he may not really understand how this all works. "What happened to your brother is what's called an accident. That means it just… happened. No one made it happen or tried to hurt anyone… Did you throw the ball in the tree?" More nodding. "Well then, that's all you did. You did not make the ball fall. You did not make it hit Elliot. And I know his eye looks pretty yucky, and it does hurt, but he will be OK." I reach over to touch his leg. He pulls back slightly and squeals softly, but doesn't get too upset. Baby steps… "You do not have any reason to be scared, or even in time-out, really. You did not do this to Elliot." He's looking up at me with a little relief but still uncertainty. "Not your fault. Now, if you feel sad that Elliot is hurt, that's something else and it's got a big name. It's called empathy. It means you're sad that he's sad. We can let him know we feel sad that he's hurt. We can do that. We can go out there, and you can let him know you are sorry he got hurt, even though it is not your fault… at all. And you certainly do not need to be in time-out over it. Come on, now."

I hold out my hand and he takes it cautiously. We walk out together and he goes over to his brother on the sofa. Elliot is not smiling, not laughing, not anything like his usual jovial self. This alone must be unsettling for Christian. But when the cold pack is removed and he sees the damage, Christian reaches out slowly to touch Elliot's arm. The room is silent but I feel Carrick's arm around me and his soft kiss on my temple.

"It's OK… for real. You didn't do it. I even told Dad." Elliot's reassurance to his younger brother is almost as heartwarming as Christian's gesture. "Dad, you said he's not in trouble right? I told you he didn't mean it." Carrick assures them both that this was just an accident.

We spend a quieter than normal evening, looking at my parents photos from their trip. Elliot is actually excited to see the pictures of his cousins and even comments that it's been a long time since he's had the chance to play with PJ, and of course, how 'cool' his favorite uncle is. My father talks about the new place and their apple trees and I can see the wheels turning in his head. He's got some plan already in progress to make this whole move out west into some money making venture. He's a businessman and it's how his mind works. I note that Christian is hanging on to every word his grandfather is saying. Maybe his mind works in a similar way. But whatever happened while we were gone, Christian and my father seems a little closer than just earlier today.

My parents head home and we get the boys settled in for the night. I'm still observing Elliot for any signs of concussion, although it's been several hours and he's not displaying anything yet, so we're probably OK. Christian was very taken with the picture of the apple orchard so my father gave it to him and he's got it next to his bed. What I wouldn't give to know what's going through his mind…

As Carrick and I settle in ourselves, I make myself say it before I chicken out. "One year Carry. The end of next school year. Or maybe over that summer. We move to… someplace out west. Next year." Dumbfounded, my husband looks at me. He starts to say something but can't seem to find the words. I guess I'll just have to do the talking for both of us. "What changed my mind?" He nods. "It's like you said before, I don't want to be here if everyone I love is out there. You've already put out feelers, I can too. What about all those things you wanted to do with the boys?" Another nod. "Well, I guess we just make them happen this summer. Are you on board with this?"

He finally finds his voice and we talk a little longer. Am I scared? Yes. This will be such a huge move. "But I insist we're near the water. I don't think I'd do OK if I was land locked." He agrees to that one stipulation and after a few more minutes, we turn off the light.

I think I had just fallen asleep when we are both shaken by the loud crying coming from our son. I get up to tend to my little boy, however this time, it's Elliot. That eye. The poor thing.