Three days ago…..
Will rolled over and groaned….his head felt like it would explode. He was surprised when he encountered a warm body. He pried his eyes open and saw Paul's large frame relaxed in sleep. He was shirtless and his hair was tousled. He closed his eyes again, as the night before came flooding back to him.
His face heated, as a pink flushed colored his skin. He had really cried over Sonny on Paul's shoulder and then begged him not to leave, basically forcing Paul to get in bed with him. 'What a colossal jerk I am.' He thought.
He threw back the covers and was relieved to see that he at least still had his pajama bottoms on. And Paul still wore his jeans. That couldn't be comfortable for Paul but it did make Will feel a little better. At least he hadn't gotten naked and thrown himself at Paul. He didn't think he could take anymore embarrassment.
He eased out of the bed, leaving Paul snoring softly. Will padded into the kitchen and quietly put on a pot of coffee. Then he crept in the nursery to check on Arianna.
Arianna was looking around the room, cooing when he walked up to the crib… "There's daddies princess." He said picking her up, nuzzling her to him. He remembered in great detail, that minute of panic that he had endured last night when he thought something had happened to her….. he never ever wanted to feel anything close to that again.
He took her over to the changing table and changed her diaper and dressed her in one of her play outfits. Once that task was complete he walked out into the kitchen and pulled a spill proof cup from the cabinet and made her some milk, then he turned on the kettle to heat some water to make her some oatmeal. While he waited he put her in the high chair and handed her the cup.
He decided that he could at least have some sort of breakfast ready for Paul when he woke up. I was the least he could do after all that had happened yesterday. He rifled through all the cabinets and checked the refrigerator. There was nothing to really make a decent breakfast, nothing to even make a crappy breakfast. He signed and cursed himself silently for not going to the market. Then he got an idea.
He picked up the phone and dialed the pastry shop in the square. He asked for a box of assorted pastries and a couple of different kinds of juice, then he offered to pay double if someone would just run it over to him. The young girl that answered the phone said that wouldn't be necessary and that she would get it right over to him.
True to her word, Will had just sat down at the table to feed Ari her oatmeal when he heard someone knock on the door. He got up and answered it, taking the bag and giving her a couple of folded bills that included a very generous tip. He pushed the door closed with his foot and sat the bag on the table then sat back down to finish feeding his baby girl.
Once she was fed, cleaned up, and content again in the bouncy seat, Will went over and took the pastry box out of the bag and opened it. It looked like there was some of everything they had in the box. He selected some and put them on a plate, placing it on the table. He grabbed them a couple of plates and sat them on the table. Then he poured two steaming cups of coffee and added a couple of tumblers of juice to the table.
Once he was satisfied with the presentation he walked back to his bedroom, looking at Paul fondly before he walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. He laid his hand on Paul's rib cage, tracing a pattern over his abs.
Paul's eyes fluttered open. "Good Morning." he said gruffly.
"Morning." Will said. "Did you sleep okay?"
Paul nodded. "Just fine, thanks." He said, moving to sit up.
Will moved back giving him room. "I have some coffee ready and some breakfast if you are hungry." He said shyly.
"Mmmm sounds great. I just need to go to the bathroom and I will be right out." Paul said.
Will nodded, and got up. He went out and closed the door to give Paul a little privacy. While he waited on Paul to come out he contemplated Arianna in her bouncer, soon it would be time to retire it, her feet were already folded underneath her. He probably should have already packed it away, but it was the only thing that quieted her when he couldn't hold her. And she loved all of the sounds and lights. He honestly didn't know what he was going to do without it.
Minutes later the bedroom door opened and Paul stepped out. Will noticed that he had pulled his shirt back on. He walked over and pulled out a seat at the table, picking up the coffee. He took a swallowed and moaned. "That's really good coffee." He said.
"Glad you like it." Will said, taking the seat beside him. He handed Paul the plate for him to choose what he wanted. Paul took the blueberry muffin and put it on his plate. Will took a cheese Danish and then set the plate aside.
They ate in silence for a few minutes, until Will cleared his throat. "I'm really sorry about last night." He said. "I ruined the whole night."
"Hey." Paul said, reaching over covering Will's hand with his own. "You didn't ruin anything."
"Yes, I did. We were having a great date… until… well until we got back here." Will said.
"We did have a great night." Paul said. "You know a relationship is about accepting the good and the bad… being together through the easy times and the hard times."
Will ducked his head. "I don't know how you could want to be with me after I spent the whole night crying over my past with another man." He said.
"The relationship that you had with Sonny, is part of you." He said simply, "How can I begrudge you, your feelings when they helped shape you into the person that you are?" Paul asked. "My past with Sonny is a big part of who I am… I carry the lessons that I learned with me, using them as reminders… to make sure that I don't make the same mistakes again."
"You are amazing, do you know that?" Will asked.
"I'm glad you think that now… one day when you have had to pick up my gym socks out of the middle of the floor for the hundredth time, you may wonder what you ever seen in me. And when that day comes I am going to remind you of this moment." Paul warned chuckling.
"Nope." Will said, "because you are going to pick up your own nasty socks."
Paul grinned. "I guess we will see." He said teasingly.
They finished eating and Will cleared away the mess, putting the uneaten pastries back into the box, storing them in the refrigerator. Then he stuck the plates into the dish washer and poured them each another cup of coffee.
They went and sat on the couch together. Paul sat his coffee to the side. "Will," he said, "I know you probably don't want to hear this, but I think you need to sit down and talk to Sonny, just the two of you, I don't need to be there, Brian doesn't need to be there. It needs to be just the two of you so you can both be honest with each other about how you feel."
"Nothing can come of that." Will said, "Nothing but more pain. Sonny is marrying Brian, and I used to want to change that. I used to pray every night that he would change his mind and give me another chance. I prayed that he would tell Brian that he had made a terrible mistake. Every day when I went to see him, It was with the secret hope that it would finally be the day when Sonny would take me in his arms and tell me that he couldn't live without me. That he forgave me for everything and we were finally going to be the couple that we were meant to be again. And every day, I left disappointed." Will finished, his eyes glassy with unshed tears.
"I'm soo sorry, no one deserves that." Paul said. "Did you ever think that it was just too painful to be friends with him?"
Will shook his head. "No… I knew what life was like without him. There were a couple of months that Sonny wouldn't even look at me. Those months were the worst." He said.
"I can understand that." Paul said.
"Eventually though Sonny forgave me. I was over the moon, until he told me that it didn't change anything, He said that he was still marrying Brian. I was devastated, but I learned to cope with it, until now." Will said.
"You can't cope with it anymore?" Paul asked.
Will shook his head… "No what I mean is that it doesn't bother me, nearly as bad as it used to. I think that Is because of you." He explained. "I can see myself with you."
"Good." Paul said, "I can see myself with you too, but I want you to promise me that you will talk to Sonny, because as hard as it would be for me to let you go now, it would be even more difficult down the road."
"Okay." Will said. "I will talk to him soon, just not today. Today I want to spend the day with you, and I want to introduce you to my best girl… I mean if you don't have any plans.." He said.
"I'm all yours." Paul said.
"I like the sound of that." Will said shyly as he got off the couch and went to get Arianna from the bouncer.
He came back and sat down beside Paul again. He sat her in his lap and Paul looked at her in awe… "She is gorgeous." He said.
"Thanks." Will said, smiling at him. Here take her." He said, handing her over to Paul.
"Wow." Paul said, looking down at Arianna, "She is soo tiny." He said.
Will giggled. "Ummm she's huge. You should have seen her when she was born, she weighed just a little over Six pounds. Now she weighs almost twenty three pounds."
"How old is she?" Paul asked.
Arianna looked at Paul, examining him, as he was examining her.
"She's almost 18 months old."
"Her hands are so little." Paul marveled. "And she looks like an angel from heaven."
"She is my angel." Will said. "She definitely keeps me grounded."
"I can see how." Paul said. "I never thought about having a child, or being a dad."
"I never wanted to be a dad….. until she came along." Will said. "I didn't think I would be any good at it."
"Well you were wrong about that." Paul said. "I can tell you are an awesome father."
Will blushed.
Paul loved that innocence about Will.
"Well it sure isn't because I had good role models."Will said.
"Maybe that is exactly what makes you such a great father…. Because you have the desire to give her a life greater than yours." Paul said.
"That's possible, I guess." Will said.
"Arianna, can you say hi to Paul?" Will said, turning his attention to his daughter.
Arianna shook her head no and quickly hid her face behind her hands.
"Arianna Grace." Will said sternly. "Don't be rude."
She kept her hands in place. Will reached up and pried her hands away from her face. "It's okay princess. Paul is daddy's friend. Can you please say hi?" he asked.
Arianna looked up at Paul again. She contemplated him carefully. After about three minutes, she finally opened her mouth. "Hi." She said quickly before she buried her face again.
Will laughed…. "Well that's better than nothing." He said apologetically.
"I'll take it." Paul said.