A/N: Thank you guys so much for following this story! I don't think I've responded to many reviews for the past chapter yet, but I promise I will soon! I've been sick and haven't felt like doing much other than staring at things and watching movies. But in the next day or two I will definitely reply to them! 3

Disclaimer: Don't own VK, but maybe if I keep wishing, a magic fairy will grant me the rights...

Blood. Soaking into the carpet, the bed sheets, her skin. Staining those ominous lips that had become a crimson, straight gash across that face. The room was blurring at the edges, drenched in scarlet, dripping down the corners of her eyes. Was it possible that so much blood could come from one human being?

The red was darkening, mixing with shadows in a color dark as heart's blood. It fell across her now, washing outwards to blot her arm, chest, face, until she could see him leaning over her, a sinister figure with the face of her brother. She sucked in her breath, paralyzed half in fear and half in weakness.

When his hand reached for her, as pale and white as the claw of a ghost, she shrunk back against the bed a little. This couldn't continue. Her body, which now felt a thousand miles distant from her over a landscape of vertigo and blood, could not give much more than this. This time, however, those fingers touched her cheek without a hint of menace. She turned her eyes to him then, questioning.

Is it over? Are you satisfied? Her hands were quivering against the bed.

"You drank his blood…" The words were darker than the abyss of his eyes. How many times had she heard those words since she had returned? They echoed dizzily through her brain.

Drank his blood.

His blood.

I drank…

Something red glinted out of the corner of her eye. Her lungs pumped desperately for air. The red on her finger was screaming at her: Traitor!

She shut her eyes, trying to block it out. She had betrayed him. Her brother, her fiancé, the one she had promised herself to. Not just in thought or hidden desire, but now in action as well. She had broken his trust. And she had paid for it dearly, in blood.

He came closer, fangs biting into her flesh once more, softer this time. Some of his anger had curbed now. She drew in a quick breath, fighting hard against the cry of helplessness and pain that lingered on the tip of her tongue. She deserved his ire. She had provoked this by her own bitter betrayal.

At the same time, however, she felt a mounting rage of her own. Did she really deserve this level of punishment for her actions? She had returned of her own free will. She had apologized profusely and begged his forgiveness. She would not do it again. Was this torture necessary? Her limbs were bogged down with fatigue and her head was swimming from the blood loss. How much was he really going to take from her, and so viciously?

When he raised himself up again, she turned indignant eyes on him, almost issuing a challenge. She had thought her brother to be gentler than this. No matter how harsh his hand was against others, he had never turned such terrifying fury against her. Until now… What was to stop him from doing it again? After this, shouldn't she expect it? The thought made her tremble with anger. He was dealing with her like some kind of animal or servant who had misbehaved instead of the woman he cherished and intended to marry; his equal.

That thought sent an icy ripple through her. His equal… No, she saw that clearly, now. She would never be that. She never had been.

For a moment, her mind was filled with the remembrance of those violet eyes full of tenderness and affection, the shaking hands that reached for her out of the darkness to pull him back out. The deep voice that called her name time and time again as though it were the only word he knew, or the only word that mattered. She thought of that strong embrace that always sought to protect her, but never to hurt her. Never that.

Even at his most violent, the mere sight of her had always seemed to calm him. She had never incited his rage, only fueled what already existed for her brother after he had changed her into a vampire. To Zero, she had done no wrong. She could taste it in his blood. He hated himself, he hated Kaname, and the only reason he had ever felt it necessary to kill her was because, to him, vampires were monsters. But that resolve had already faded. Already, he had accepted that he could never kill her.

Because he still cared about her. Because he still loved her.

Her head was spinning. The knowledge had been plunged through her veins forcefully, and now it reverberated through every artery with every beat of her heart. It was difficult to concentrate. She had lost so much blood, and her thoughts were becoming increasingly sluggish, but what was left of her consciousness fixated itself on that one fact: Zero was still in love with her, and the only reason he kept himself apart from her was because he thought that was the best way to ensure her happiness.

Zero…you idiot…

She was shaking, half from weakness and half from a terrifying urge to break down into tears. All the wasted time, all the days that they could have been together. He'd only been cold to her because she was so important to him. If only she could tell him how wrong he was, how every day away from him was a torture. How could she even begin to be happy when such a large piece of her heart was torn away from her, because she had left it with him? How could she ever forget him when her dreams were painted with his colors, when her arms longed to hold him, and when her veins cried out thirstily for his blood? She needed him to be in her life, too. She needed his colors to complete the rainbow of her world.

And now she knew that he loved her. Now she knew that if she chose it, she could return to his side. The promise she had made to Kaname-sama would become nothing more than a red stain left to fade away into the background of her life. She stared up at her brother angrily. If she held on to that promise and remained here…was she making a mistake?

Silver and violet flashed through her veins.

Zero… Come take me home…

Kaname spoke again, words slow and chilling. "The feeling of powerlessness makes one feel mortifyingly angry at themselves, doesn't it?" He almost seemed to be smirking down at her. He was undoubtedly aware of the state he had reduced her to. She could barely twitch her fingers, now.

She glared. "What do you want me to become? Why did you go so far as to give me back Artemis?" Her voice shook a little with effort.

"All I want is for you to be the way you are, Yuuki."

How? She wanted to demand, though the words seemed stuck to her lips. How? As I am as a person? Or as I am right now? Weak and helpless?

"I just thought you should realize one thing, though," he continued. "The fact that there are some things for which, no matter how hard you try, always come down to nothing. I left Artemis with you so you would realize that." There was a note of anguish in his voice that she only realized now. He seemed almost helpless himself as he sunk his teeth into her wrist, now.

Her heart twisted a little in her chest. She was jumping to conclusions so quickly. She loved this man, too, despite how he may have hurt her. Part of her was angry, wondering if he had left her a weapon so that she would realize she was weak even with it, but another part of her was guilty and sad. She had betrayed him. Even though she loved him, she had still betrayed him utterly…

"Why are you speaking like you're filled with nothing but despair?" she whispered. "I may have done something bad, but I did come back, onii-sama. …Is it not good enough?"

Please stay being the same as you always were, onii-sama. Gentle, and kind…

He was silent.

"I see…" Pain shot through her. Perhaps he couldn't forgive her. What if his love wasn't strong enough to forgive her for what she had done? She wasn't sure if she could handle that. She had lost one love already. What would she do if she lost the other, too? "It's really because I am no good, isn't it..?"

"Yuuki." He dropped her hand and looked at her then. "It's actually because I'm dreadfully afraid of losing you…"

"I am not going to die!" she exclaimed, though her throat wavered dangerously as she spoke. "So please, don't make it sound like you've lost everything."

"That's not it, Yuuki…"

But he didn't explain further. She wanted to ask, but the room was darkening and growing murky before her eyes. Everything was dimming. The walls, the floor. They were melting into a puddle of shadows. Her breath echoed hollowly in her lungs, and suddenly the loudest sound she was able to hear was her own feeble heartbeat. Then, there was nothing but blackness.

Yuuki's eyes flew open suddenly. She sat up in bed with a lurch, eyes searching wildly. Her head was spinning rapidly, but she did her best to ignore it, concentrating on the air around her. She didn't smell him. She couldn't focus. Where was he?

A fuzzy shape on the pillow caught her eye. Her fingers closed around it, bringing it closer. A rose. A beautiful rose. Her eyes widened slightly. This was one of the roses her brother had cultivated in the garden. She remembered him showing her the greenhouse when they'd first arrived, pointing out the roses and telling her that these were the last of their species. Blood roses.

Her heart was pounding. The night before was a blur, but the sinister shadow of those crimson eyes seemed to be etched into her retinas now. Her fingers twisted in the sheets. She felt so weak, drained of her strength. Her head seemed to be filled with lead. She really should go back to sleep for a while longer… The blood loss had been rough on her body.

She shut her eyes for a moment, trying to think beyond the pounding in her head. When she reopened them, it seemed as though the rose was watching her, a silent sentinel stamped with the blood of her promise. She brought it slowly to her nose, inhaling the scent there. Sweet. It was sweet. Almost too sweet, in a way that made her sick. She turned her face away.

What was the rose doing here, anyway? Was it supposed to be an apology for what Kaname-sama had done to her last night? For a moment, she contemplated destroying it. She didn't want this sickeningly sweet gift to remind her of how he had abused her. She didn't want to remember the night before at all. Just thinking about it made her stomach clench with anger and nausea.

As always, the reciprocating thought came immediately behind it. How could she destroy such a beautiful flower? How could she hurt her brother yet again, when it was clear that he was trying to make amends for what had happened? It was a sign, wasn't it, that he was trying to forgive her? That, despite what had happened, he wasn't going to leave her.

Or was it a goodbye?

Fear gripped her suddenly. What if he had left her alone, now, forever? Her hand clutched the rose desperately. She stood hurriedly, the blood rushing to her head, and exited her room. In part, she wanted to run down the stairs and confirm that he was still with her. Her senses were too bogged down with fatigue to accurately pick up his scent. However, there was a hesitance in her that hadn't been there before. A tremulous fear, mixed with reluctance, that was gradually rooting itself in her chest. She wasn't entirely sure if she wanted to see Kaname-sama right now. Not after what he had done… Not after the perverse sadism that had masked his once familiar and gentle features…

Slowly, she made her way down the stairs, where she detected a whiff of his scent. He was there, in the parlor. She wavered for a moment on the threshold, caught with uncertainty, before she pushed the door open.

He was there. Relief and discontent swept through her simultaneously. He hadn't left her. The thought was like a double-edged sword. He turned towards her at her entrance, eyes a question. Yuuki sunk to the floor as a wave of weakness hit her.

"I thought…you might have gone somewhere else," she explained, voice a whisper.

"I was wondering why your expression would change, for such a thing." His gaze indicated the rose in her hand.

"It's not 'such a thing!'" She regained her feet, holding the rose out to him. "Put the rose back!" It would be better if he could put it back. She wouldn't want to get rid of it, and it wouldn't remind her of all that had passed between them last night.

He smiled a little. "I was fetching your clothes while I came across the entrance to the greenhouse. I thought it might remove the bad taste… After seeing such unclean events, one should gaze upon nature's beauty."

She paused. The rose was his way of an apology for the night before, then, as she had suspected. Despite that, an intricate web of fears locked itself in place around her. She was afraid that he might leave her. Almost equally, she was afraid that he would still be angry, or unable to forgive her for what she had done. Worst of all, however, she was afraid that he would be completely callous to what he had done to her. She was terrified that the sadistic, cruel vampire she had been exposed to the night before would continue to exist after she awoke.

Something else hit her then. That was right. Her clothes had been soaked with blood the night before.

"My clothes..?" Her face grew hot in embarrassment. He hadn't..! She hugged her arms against herself, flushing bright red.

His expression held a touch of exasperation now. "Yuuki, it's not my first time… I didn't do anything else."

She tried to force herself to relax a little, even though she felt extremely shy and embarrassed. She shouldn't be so embarrassed, she knew. After all, didn't she plan to marry him..? She held back a shudder. Was she really going to marry him? The man who had drank her into unconsciousness…?

Yes, she told herself. She was. She loved him. She had wronged him, and her punishment had been just. Hadn't it..?

His expression grew solemn, then, and she knew when he spoke that he was referring to the day before. "I had a feeling that someday, something like this would happen, and when that day came…" He trailed off, turning away from her. Then, "I punished you, without any regard for your circumstances, even…"

He really was apologizing, sincerely, for his reaction the day before. Her chest felt tight, compounded with so many emotions now that they jostled together in a massive knot. The rose slipped out of her fingers to the ground beside her, forgotten. What was she doing? The question had echoed so many times through her mind now that she had lost track. What was she doing? Why was she continually hurting and betraying herself and her brother? Even if he had hurt her physically, hadn't she done far worse by wounding him in a place that took far longer and far more care to heal? Hadn't she reached in to directly injure his heart when she had given in and quenched her thirst on Zero's blood? After a moment, she stepped forward, arms sliding around Kaname-sama's tense, regal back.

"The rose is beautiful, onii-sama, but… Just now, when I opened my eyes… I wanted the first thing I saw to be my onii-sama´s face," she murmured. She knew that she was lying, but she wanted to make amends. She wanted to show him that she had returned here to the manor for a reason, because of their love and their promise.

Forgive me…

Deep within, there was a part of her that wondered whether she was asking forgiveness of Kaname-sama, Zero, or herself. By continuing on her current path, she was betraying all three. She loved both men, and they both loved her. But she had already promised herself to her brother. The choice she had made was the right one. It had to be.

Doubts seethed through the back of her mind, but she smothered them until they were only a hiss. She had already made the decision. She had already bound herself to a promise, to an eternity. It was the eternity she had desired since she had been a child. It was everything she could ever want. Everything she should ever want.

She had to keep on believing that, because already after mere seconds she could feel the doubts roaring up again under her skin again.

A/N: Who knew Kaname was such a psychopath? XD Review...or else! O_o