They didn't know what they were doing. In her wildest fantasies, Kanade had never gotten much beyond kissing. But tonight they stripped fully, and started kissing, and rubbing, and touching everywhere, discovering together what worked and what didn't.
The first time they came, mutually fumbling towards ecstasy, was like someone had dropped a bomb on their house; much of what Kanade thought she knew and understood about the world was ripped apart, revealing a new and startling reality underneath.
The second time was like a city on fire, the two of them the only things left among the embers of their old life.
The third was a hydrogen bomb that left both of them gasping, shaking, almost too weak to move, nothing left but white heat, and Kanade, and Yukino.
There were no words for the fourth and final time.
Afterwards, they fell asleep sore, exhausted, bodies almost numb with endorphins, wrapped around each other in a tangle of limbs.
Terrified. But almost deliriously happy.
Their phones were out of charge the next morning, and they didn't see any point in recharging them. A quick glance at the Internet suggested the video was still spreading like wildfire, so they stayed off it.
Mostly they spent the day watching TV, and snacking... except for every so often, when a shared look or touch, almost accidental, sent them to the bedroom again. It was like clockwork, but totally irrational; like a glutton shut in with an infinite supply of cookies, they took and took until they couldn't stand any more, but a few hours later, they were back at it again.
A second day passed like that, and a third, with no change except the hashtag had now gone international.
On the fourth day Kanade put on a hat and sunglasses and ran to the corner store for new groceries and a disposable cell phone. While she was waiting Yukino realized that, outside of Sakuya, neither of them had any real friends in the city who might be concerned about them, or that they could turn to. They'd both let their high school and college acquaintances drift away, and their work friends were merely that. In an odd way, other than the siege mentality they were under from the video, nothing had changed for either one of them - they were still spending all their time together.
When Kanade got home, they waited for the phone to charge (and made love, while waiting).
Their first call was to Shizuku.
Kanade made the call from the table, while Yukino listened on the couch, hearing only Kanade's part of the conversation.
"Hi, Shi-chan, it's Kanade-"
"Yes, yes, I know about the video. It's why our phones were off, we were getting too many messages from strangers-"
"It's... we're ok, but it's been hard. It's been very scary, Shi-chan, for both of us. We've mostly just been hiding in our apartment. No, I don't know what this means for my work, we haven't had the chance to-"
"Money? I think we're ok for now, Shi-chan -" Yukino nodded from across the room "- you definitely shouldn't send us any of your own money. We'll be ok, really."
"Was... was the video real? I... it wasn't like that. We... I was a little drunk, I was being silly, it... well, you know how Yuki-chan and I are, it just looks bad to outsiders, I... Shi-chan, does Mom know? Has she or Dad heard about the video yet? No? Ok, that's good, but..."
"Yes, yes, I know, they'll find out eventually. I'll... we'll figure out how to tell them, what to tell them. Don't say anything yet. We'll call back, figure out a time to talk to her. Right now, you can call us on this number, but don't share it with anybody else."
"I know, I know. Don't worry, it will be ok in the long run. Just... you just take care of yourself, Shi-chan. We both love you, and it will all work out. Ok. Ok. We love you. Bye."
Their second call was to Yukino's work; she was trembling as she dialed the number. After a long series of transfers, moving person by person through human resources, each person passing her on almost immediately upon realizing who they were talking to, she reached a senior manager who barely listened to anything Yukino said.
The company was still reviewing the situation. She would be placed on administrative leave, at reduced pay, until a decision was reached. Her belongings would be gathered and placed in storage; if she needed any of them, they would be mailed to her. She was not to come into work until asked.
The manager hung up.
Kanade's call to her own job was less bureaucratic, but had a similar outcome. There was no ongoing process, no severance pay, just a vague mention of possible freelance work in the future, when things settled down.
Kanade hadn't been trembling when she called, but she was shaking when she hung up. They sat on the couch, heads together, arms around each other, whispering, guessing how long they could stay afloat with only their savings and Yukino's reduced pay.
That night, Yukino posed nude for Kanade's sketches for the first time. Kanade was too excited to finish the sketch without falling into bed with Yukino, but afterwards she looked at what she started and realized it was some of the best work she'd ever done.
Another day passed. That evening, the phone rang, with their mother's number listed on the caller ID.
Kanade picked it up, and turned on the speaker so they could both talk.
"Mom? Mom, is that you? Did Shi-chan give you our number?"
"Kanade, Yukino, are you two ok? Yes, it's me, Shizuku gave me the number. She told me she was worried, and... well, she explained some of what's happened. I wanted to talk to you. Are you ok?"
Yukino spoke up. "We... we're ok, Mom. Nobody's physically hurt us, it's... it's just the attention has been..."
"Ah, yes... the attention from... there's a video, I understand?"
Kanade shared a glance with Yukino before answering. "Yes. Someone took a video of us without permission. We... I was a little drunk, and acting silly, and the entire thing... it looks much worse than it is. And they put our cell numbers online, so we've been getting a lot of unwanted calls..."
Their mother sighed. "I know this is just bad luck, but... I always worried about you two being in Tokyo all by yourselves. So I'm not entirely surprised something like this happened. I'm glad you're not hurt, but I still worry. Perhaps... perhaps this would be a good time for you to have a nice long visit home, Kana-chan."
Kanade glanced at Yukino again, and looked up at the ceiling, sighing. "Normally I'd say we were too busy, but... yes, that sounds like a very, very good idea, Mom. Thank you. I think we have just enough money for the tickets, we can let you know when we'll get there..."
"Yes, but... Kanade, I thought perhaps it could just be you that comes to the house. Yukino, you should leave Tokyo too, but go on your own trip. Your aunt and uncle in Kobe would love to see you, and I can send you the money for the extra expense."
"Mom?" Yukino spoke up. "Are you... why shouldn't I come home too? After everything we've been through, I... I don't want to leave Kana-chan..."
"Yukino, Kanade... I... your father and I have talked with Shizuku. She showed us the video. I... I know what you said, that it's just taken out of context, but... but we think it would be better if you two spent some time apart. Just for a while. It will be easier if you two travel separately, you won't be as recognizable."
"Mom, we..." Kanade started, before her mother cut her off.
"And, Kanade, we think... we think it might be a good idea for you to talk to someone. Locally. A doctor, a psychiatrist. He's a very reputable person, and he... he might help you understand why you and your sister have... this need, to be so close..."
"Mom, mother, we... we are not... we don't need to... I don't need to talk to someone about Yuki-chan..."
"Well, then it shouldn't be a problem for you to come by yourself, right Kana-chan?"
Yukino answered. "Mother, please... please don't ask us... don't ask me to leave Kana-chan behind. Not now, not with this happening."
"Yukino." Their mother's voice became stern, but there was a quiver to it as well. "Yukino, Kanade. You say the video was taken out of context, but you know what it looks like. You know what people are saying. About you, and probably about our family. If... if there is nothing to the video, then the two of you shouldn't have a problem being separated for a short while. Sisters are separated from each other all the time. The... the only reason I can see for you two to resist, and want to stay together is... is if some of what they're saying is true. Which I don't... I don't want to think is the case. But if it were, that's all the more reason for you to come home, and for you to seek help with this, Kanade."
"Either way, you must leave Tokyo, and go in different directions. If you don't... or can't... then... then you're confirming everything that people are saying about you. And I love you two more than words can say, but..." she started to sob, "But I can't stand by you while you do this. I can't be there for you if... if you two are together, and I can't let Shizuku be close to you either. P- Please, Kana-chan, Yuki-chan. For my sake, and for yours, please separate, just for a while."
Kanade looked at Yukino, who was already crying. She felt nausea in her stomach, and despair in her heart - in different circumstances, given enough time, she might be able to come up with a good argument, or a good excuse, as to why they shouldn't be apart. If this had happened before they became intimate, she might even have let Yukino go, as hard as it would have been. But now, here, for her to give her up, would have been like tearing off her own arm, or living without water, or oxygen.
And she knew, from a glance, that Yukino felt the same way. And as much as she hated herself for doing this to her family, she flew for just a moment, high on her sister's love.
"M... mom, I... we can't. I can't right now, I'm too worried about her..."
"Mother, please!" Yukino was sobbing, picking up the phone, talking directly into it. "Please just let us come home together, we can work it out, we can talk about it more, but... but please, you can't ask me to leave Kana-chan right now, she's... she's all I've got..."
"No, Yukino. You have us; your father, Shizuku and I. If you want us. But... but only... only if you can make a choice that... that I'm starting to be afraid you can never make. I just wish I had known earlier, that I had..."
She stopped. Quietly she stated, "I can't talk to you any more about this. Kanade, Yukino, I love you very much. I... only wants what's best for you. The money to leave is yours whenever you need it. But... but until you can make that choice, I..."
"Goodbye."
"MOTHER! Mother, please don't hang up-" Yukino screamed at the phone, crying, but the cheap LCD screen was already showing that the call had ended.
Yukino collapsed at the table, while Kanade leaned against the wall, looking up at the ceiling, tears streaming down her face.
After a time, Kanade stood and went to the entryway to put on her coat and boots. Without opening her eyes, Yukino asked, "Are you leaving me, Kana-chan?"
Kanade shook her head. "I..." she gave a short, bitter laugh. "I'll never leave you, Yuki-chan. I... I just want to get out, walk around, think and feel anything else for a while. But you know I love you, and I'll be back."
Yukino opened her eyes and wiped her face. "I love you too, Kanade. Be safe, don't stay out too long."
Kanade walked without thinking for nearly an hour, and came to a stop at a place she didn't recognize, some industrial street. It had started raining, and she stood for a moment, the artist part of her admiring how the thousand raindrops were perfectly delineated in the streetlights before falling and being replaced by a thousand more, over and over. She stood staring until she began to shiver with cold, then walked back in the direction she thought was home.
She came back late that night, Yukino already in bed, the disposable phone showing three unread text messages, all from Shizuku.
YOU CHOSE HER OVER US.
I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND.
DON'T CALL ME AGAIN.
Without even thinking, Kanade texted back. "Shi-chan, I am sorry. I don't know how to explain. We love you very much, no matter what."
She hit send and drank a glass of water from the filter pitcher in the refrigerator; when she looked back at the phone it displayed a simple error message, saying her number had been blocked by the receiver.
She turned the phone off, since no one else would be calling it, and went to bed.