I See You
Chapter 14
Olivia had Amanda discharged after a long conversation about her health and safety. Again she convinced the blonde to take another day off before commencing work, just to rest up and catch up on some sleep. She also tried talking Amanda into staying at her place for a while until her injuries healed fully but the blonde refuced. "I'd feel more comfortable in my own apartment Liv. I know you mean well but I need some structure and familiar surroundings. I'll be fine."
"You said that last time and look what happened." Liv argued.
Sighing Amanda rubbed her face with one hand, tired of this whole situation. "This could have happened anywhere and it couldn't have been predicted or stopped. It just happened."
Seeing Amanda's tired features made Olivia give in with a sigh of frustration. "Okay, but this time you promise, and I mean promise to call me if anything happens again. Deal?"
Nodding, Amanda surrendered. "Deal. I promise. Can you please just take me home, I'm really tired." she stated, grabbing her things and looked at the brunette.
"Sure, sweetie." her heart melted as she eyed the exhausted blonde in front of her. She wanted Amanda healthy with plenty of bed rest and taking her home to bed was the best thing for her. The drive back was quiet. Amanda fell asleep, resting her head up against the window, covered with a blanket that Liv kept in her car for Noah. Liv would get Fin to collect Amanda's car later, there was no way Olivia was letting her drive being so tired.
It was just after two in the afternoon. Liv had to get back to work but promised to pop in after she finished around six with Noah, knowing that the little boy made Amanda feel better. She promised to stay in bed or the couch to rest and Liv was happy with that. Knowing that the blonde was resting and taking things easy put her mind at ease and hopefully she could focus on work. She made sure Amanda was well wrapped up in a thick blanket on the couch, a glass of water on the table, the remote and her phone next to it and a few magazines in a pile. "Remember to call me if you need anything. Don't feel like you're putting me out or burdening me because you're not, okay?"
"I promise." she said with a weak smile, embarrassed that Liv was fuzzing over her so much. She'd never had that before. No one had ever cared so much for her as Liv did and it felt good but also confusing and frightening.
The brunette sat down and took Amanda's hands in hers. "Can I kiss you before I go?" she asked shyly, feeling like a teenager on her first date. Amanda licked suddenly dry lips but nodded. Leaning in close their lip met, gently at first but turned passionate vey quicky. Both women felt their arousal building rapidly and Liv couldn't stop a low moan from escaping her throat. Amanda's lups were so soft and plump, just perfectly proportioned against her own. Tongues caressed and explored each other and Amanda eventually had to pull away due to overheating.
Liv smiled and kissed a flushed cheek. "You okay? You look a bit... hot." she said and winked.
Groaning in embarrassment the blonde hid her face in her hands. "You need to go and I need a cold shower." she mumbled into her palms before looking up into Liv's amused face.
"Oh no," she said, "you're staying right where you are." she demanded.
Amanda rolled her eyes. "I think I'm quite capable of taking a shower by myself, sargeant."
Liv kissed the corner of her mouth. "I'm sure you are but I'd rather you didn't." she kissed her again, not being able to get enough of the blonde's lips, taste and smell. It was intoxicating. "I better go before we do something we shouldn't be doing. At least not so soon."
After Olivia had left Amanda was intensely staring at the television but she hadn't a clue of what was actually playing. All she could think of was Liv. How did they end up where they're at now and how were they going to proceed and develop a relationship with one kid and another on the way? A couple of days ago they were colleagues, work mates, a team and now they were suddenly kissing and caressing each other passionately. When had things changed so dramatically? She was chocked that Liv had feelings for her and she still couldn't believe it. After all these years of working together and along side each other and nothing had happened until now. How was that even possible? Did things like this actually happen? It was almost too good to be true.
Liv would probably see all the baggage Amanda was carrying around from her past and would probably leave once she saw how damaged, broken and weak she was. They all did eventually. Don't get too attached cause it won't last. She thought as she snapped out of her buzz an turned her attention back to the tv.
She must have fallen asleep cause the next thing she knew, her front door was pushed open to reveal the stunning sargeant standing in the doorway with her adorable son hanging off her hip. Amanda had told her about the spare key she kept in her desk at work and for Liv to let herself in. It took the blonde a minute to fully wake up. Her head was a bit cloudy and her body sore from the awkward position she had been laying in.
Noah let out a little squirm when he saw the blonde sitting up, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. "Hi, big boy. How are you today? Have you been good?" Amanda cooed over the toddler. Liv carefully set him down, smiling as he clumsily wobbled over to where Amanda was sitting, reaching his arms up for the blonde to pick him up.
Liv was across the room in an instant, lifting the toddler up onto the sofa. "Remember Amanda's boo boo? She can't lift you up yet, sweetheart. You have to be getle." she instructed. Noah just smiled and held his arms up. Liv chuckled at his cute behavior. "I think he wants a cuddle from a certain blonde." she winked, "I wouldn't mind one myself but someone has to get dinner sorted." she kissed Amanda's cheek before turning towards the kitchen. "Carisi thought that you must be sick of take out by now so he made a home cooked, cheesy, succulent and full of nutrients lasagne for you. I'll just heat it up."
Amanda raised her eyebrows. "He did that for me?" she asked surprised. Noah was tucked against her side playing with a book that made noises everytime you turned a page.
"Yeah, we all care about you, you know. Even Dodds asked about you." Liv said smiling as she busied herself in the kitchen.
Amanda still had her eyebrows raised. "I must be special then." she mumbled sarcastically, brushing the brown soft locks on Noah's head, liking the way it felt between her fingers.
After dinner Noah got sleepy and Liv wrapped him up in a blanket and placed him gently down on the sofa. Amanda was amazed at how quickly he went from being a bundle of energy to a limp sack of potatoes in the space of a few minutes. "I wish I could fall asleep that easily." the blonde stated as she began to wash the dishes.
Liv frowned. "You having trouble sleeping?" she asked with concern and made her way towards the pregnant woman.
Snorting Amanda finished up the last plate. "Try getting comfortable in any bed while being seven months pregnant. It's a task that no one can master. Not to mention that the little booger keep using my bladder as a punching bag and breaking my back in two." the blonde tried to make fun of the situation and make it sound as if it was no big deal but honestly, it was hell. She always felt tired, slightly nauseous, swollen ankles and a sore back. This pregnancy was not being kind to Amanda.
Liv scrunched up her face in sympathy and cocked her head to the side. "Would you like me to give you a back rub? I've been told I'm quite good at it." she stated proudly.
Amanda hesitated. A back massage sounded heavenly right now but she was hesitant and weary about letting Liv in so close to her body. She wasn't ready for that even though she knew that the brunette would never take advantage of her in any way. "Um, no that's okay. I'm... um, I'm fine." she stuttered feeling her cheeks burn slightly at the thought of Liv sensually rubbing lotion onto her back.
The brunette just nodded. "Okay, just let know if you change your mind." she said and kissed a flushed cheek. "If you don't mind me asking, how were the early stages of your pregnancy? I mean did you have morning sickness, dizziness, nauseous?"
The younger woman was planning on downplying it but the look of compassion and care on Liv's face made her feel bad and she couldn't lie about it. "Um, well, I did have all of the above and still do but not as bad. The morning sickness kicked in very fast and I could only eat certain things on certain times. I spent a lot of time hanging over the toilet puking my guts out." she glance at Liv and forced a smile onto her face to lighten the mood.
The older detective felt bad for the blonde. It seemed like Amanda had had a very hard time and was still going through it. "I'm sorry you're having such a bad time. I wish I could do something to help."
Amnda gave her a genuine shy smile this time. "You are."
Liv frowned slightly. "How come I never saw you running towards the bathroom at the precinct? I never once saw you feeling unwell or sick."
"Um, well I guess I hid it pretty well then." she smirked, playing it down again, desperate for a change in conversation.
Liv enveloped her in a strong hug and held on tight. "You are the strongest person I know. So strong it makes you stubborn and sometimes reckless. You have to stop hiding everything away, Manda. Let the people who care about you in. You can rely on the squad and, more importantly, you can rely on me."
Amanda slowly returned the hug, a bit taken aback by the sudden physical proximity. "I'll try." she murmured into Liv's shoulder, keeping her emotions at bay. Being pregnant caused the blonde to be emotional and easily affected by things and feelings, something that was usually not in her nature otherwise. She hated it and mentally kicked herself every time she felt her eyes sting or her chest tighten. She would be considered weak in the eyes of her family. Weak and vulnerable. They would tell her to toughen up and get over it. Life is not full of roses and rainbows, that's what her mother use to say when Amanda was being difficult as a child. Having this baby, bringing a newborn into this world made Amanda determined to give her the best life she possibly could offer. Everything the blonde didn't have as a child, she would make sure that her baby girl had.
The time came for Olivia to leave. She had an unsettling feling in her stomach about leaving the blonde on her own again. She didn't want a repeat of last night and if something did happen at least Liv would be close by. "Amanda, I would feel more at ease if you stayed with me for a little while. Just for a few nights, please."
Shaking her head Amanda sighed. "I... I don't want that Liv. I know you worry but if something happens it's gonna happen whether you're with me or not. I'll be more comfortable in my own apartment with my own bed and my own... sloppy habits." she added with a smirk.
"Sloppy habits?" the brunette asked, suddenly interested. "Oh, do tell?!"
Amanda chuckled. "Well, for starters I drink milk and juice straight from the carton, I throw my clothes on the floor and I shower with the door open."
Liv raised her eyebrows in amusement. "Well, I could get use to the first two and the last one I know I can definitely get use to. No complaints." she smirked.
The blonde slapped her arm playfully. "You wish." she giggled but suddenly turned pale and a look of dread and pain appeared on her features.
The brunette noticed it straight away, grabbed the blonde by the shoulders and studied her face in concern. "What's wrong? You okay, Amanda? Talk to me, sweetie." she watched as Amanda hissed in pain, grabbed her stomach and felt her knees give out. The pain was too much and she couldn't keep herself upright. Liv caught her instantly and gently lowered them both onto the floor. Swiftly she grabbed her phone and called a bus as she watched bright red blood seep out from between Amanda's legs.
"Hold on, honey. The ambulance is on the way. Just hold on for me sweetie. You're gonna be okay, you're gonna be okay." the blood was still coming out in a steady flow and Liv got worried for the amount of blood loss. Doing the only thing she could think of, she reached up and grabbed a tea towel from the kitchen counter, balled it up and pressed it against Amanda's groin area. She knew it wouldn't make much of a difference but in her mind at least she had done something.