The Aftermath, Chapter 18 - Eternal Instant
I do not own these characters. They belong to Grey's Anatomy and Co.
Arizona closed her eyes and prepared for liftoff. She was beyond excited to see Lauren. She missed the smell of her skin and the way flames danced in the golden flecks of her amber eyes. She missed her shiver producing touch and sexual confidence. She missed her infectious laugh and easy talk.
It was a rare occasion when Arizona and Lauren could string three days together. Three whole days! Their time together would begin in less than four hours. This thought alone excited Arizona in ways her body gave away.
As the plane ascended, Arizona let her mind drift back to a conversation she'd had with Dr. Striefland earlier that afternoon. She felt naked and exposed (in a good way) when her exceptionally intuitive therapist cut straight to the core of something her mind was circling, but couldn't articulate. Hearing the question asked pointblank turned Arizona inside out, and at the same time, brought great relief. The answer was yes. Yes, she was completely capable of moving past her anger toward Callie long enough to consider the pain her ex was in.
Arizona closed her eyes as the plane leveled. She was over the backward/forward perseveration of considering Callie's feelings while honoring her own. It was time to let go entirely. She could recognize the pain Callie was in and see which part of it was caused by Callie's refusal to move on and the parts were caused by the loss of the love they once shared and Arizona's infidelity.
"May I get you a drink?"
The woman's voice pulled Arizona from her private contemplation. She suspected the flight assistant had asked her more than once.
"No thanks," she said politely, catching the way the young woman looked at her.
Arizona had a talent for recognizing subtle flirtation. Enhancing her skill was the fact that her gaydar was spot on. She loved living in a world where women acknowledged sexual fluidity with their eyes. She savored revealing eye contact like a glass of fine wine. In this instance, however, she did not hold the woman's lingering gaze any longer than she should. That's when it hit her. She was sincerely invested in her connection with Lauren. Yes, their relationship existed without terms, definitions, or arrangements; yet at 10,000 feet, Arizona felt grounded in the fact that she had no interested in other woman. This realization made her once again consider Syria. She planned on sharing her fear/concern over Lauren taking a lead position on a MERC, but didn't want the conversation to dominate their weekend. She decided she would not bring anything up until the moment was right. If Lauren introduced the topic of MERC's, she would definitely speak her peace.
As the clouds formed a blanket below her, Arizona stared out the window and let one thought lead to another. After a brief while, she came to the conclusion that Lauren would not have liked the version of herself that was married to Callie. That version was an appendage who discarded her needs for another's. She was guilty of letting someone who believed she could only feel complete/whole through the act of motherhood determine their future. Pre-Sofia, Arizona did not share her belief that motherhood equated some form of wholeness. Further complicating matters was the fact that Callie's values were based in family while Arizona's were rooted in love of country. As a military brat, she learned early on that children and spouses of military men and women were to accept the fact that their parent(s) or spouse could die at any moment. Her upbringing informed her that love of country came first; love of flesh, second.
Once again Dr. Streifland's question resounded in Arizona's mind. "Are you able to set your anger toward Callie for showing up in the middle of the night drunk and smelling like sex and men's cologne aside long enough to consider the pain she might be in?" Sighing loudly Arizona made a point of letting go. She visualized herself casting away everything that caused bodily tension. Like a skilled warrioress, she cast away every ounce of doubt, concern over co-parenting, and guilt for having made a human mistake.
After a few minutes of breathing and clearing her mind, Arizona settled on the truth that Callie had a right to be angry, just as she herself had the right leave a spouse she was no longer in love with. She told herself everything would okay and trusted that it would. It was better to exemplify to her daughter empowerment than stay in an unhappy marriage.
Lauren, being a base and primal human being, was extremely generous with amount of time and energy she gave her lovers and Arizona Robbins was no exception. Of course she would greet her at the gate; it never occurred to her to do otherwise. Waiting inside meant she would see Arizona sooner-rather than later-which was the only thing on her mind.
As the first straggle of travelers walked toward her, Lauren felt a surge of excitement course through her veins. Finding the simple act of standing still nearly impossible, she told herself to breathe. She had hoped to get in a long run that morning, but was called into the hospital to assist with a multiple car collision involving three children. She had gone from one thing to the next the entire day and as a result felt slightly off center. She took a second to gather her wits. Everything about the curvaceous crystalline-eyed pediatric surgeon brought out her impulsive nature. Everything! This was something she had promised herself to keep in check over the next several days.
Arizona saw Lauren at the exact same moment Lauren saw Arizona. As if from above, she watched her face break into a smile. The desire that ascended her spine pulled her psyche back into her body and once again she marveled at the level of attraction she felt for the fit lithe woman standing before her. Expecting to find her wearing casual clothing, Arizona was taken aback at her lovers choice of runners, scrubs and judging by the large fold-line across the front, a never before worn St Josephs Hospital hoodie.
Fearing an emergency, Arizona quickly studied her lover's face. Finding bright welcoming eyes and a smile that made her stomach do summersaults brought about instant relief. The second she could touch Lauren, she did. And just like their first embrace, and every in between, she felt an electric energy emitting from Lauren's skin that charged every electron in her body. She drank it in and what she couldn't consume with her id, she left for her body to absorb.
The only thing Lauren wanted to do more than hold Arizona was to hold her in private. She broke away slowly, made eye contact, and said, "I'm so glad you're here."
"Me too," Arizona replied and graciously allowed Lauren to take her bag from her shoulder.
Hand in hand they walked to the parking garage; chatting casually about the flight and how different the weather in Asheville was compared to Seattle. They broke contact only when they reached Lauren's car.
After sliding Arizona's bag in the trunk, Lauren performed a quick scan of the lot and found no one around. With absolute confidence she stepped into Arizona's personal space and was met with open arms and a hungry mouth.
Arizona instantly and instinctually took control of their kiss. She was pleased to be met with equanimity, rather than dominance. Lauren's response heightened both her sexual desire and level of consciousness.
The need Lauren sensed from Arizona in that moment reminded her of their first night together in the On-Call room when Arizona locked the door and turned toward her. The amount of emotional control Arizona let go of during their first sexual encounter was exactly the same amount of control she was letting go of now. And just like that night at Grey Sloan Memorial, Lauren understood Arizona's primal need to lead and consciously opened herself to Arizona's power-even though letting go of sexual control did not come naturally to her.
When it came to sexual intimacy, Lauren liked to take charge. She didn't consider herself a top, as they say in Queer theory, but she did consider herself and alpha female. In most situations she chose to give pleasure rather than take it. Actually, taking was a not a term she was comfortable using. Everything about giving pleasure to another woman gave her pleasure in return. Making a woman tremble with desire moved her beyond words. She was quick to admit that she obtained great satisfaction when a lover surrendered to sexual energy and embraced vulnerability. And every now and again, someone like Arizona Robbins came along and demanded balance. Women like Arizona were rare and she felt tremendously blessed by the string of events that brought them together. Yes, she wished they had met under different circumstances, but they didn't and nothing could change that fact.
The sweet warm taste of Lauren's mouth combined with the sensation of Lauren's fingers woven through her tresses overwhelmed Arizona's senses. She knew her body well and that her breathing was about to labor. She craved this closeness; and at the same time needed to know why her lover was wearing scrubs and whether she had to go back to the hospital or was free for the evening. Lauren's answer would determine what action she took next. For a split second she imagined pushing her against the trunk and sliding her hand inside loose fitting fabric then taking the tall blonde right there-regardless of who might see. This thought caused her body to react and she moaned heavily into Lauren's mouth.
Lauren responded to the sound of Arizona's pleasure by swiftly moving her hands to the smaller woman's hips and pulling their centers together.
Lauren's assertive grip caused Arizona's rational mind took center-stage. On her second attempt to pull away, she succeeded and managed to half whisper, half rasp, "Do you have anywhere you need to be right now, or are you free?"
Lauren immediately understood Arizona's question and took pleasure in the thought behind the thought. Smiling she said, "No, I'm good. I assisted and stayed until the last minute, but I'm good. I'm completely free for the rest of the evening and next three days."
One could NOT mistake the look of appreciation upon Arizona's face. It was a combination of pure pleasure and mischief. She gathered composure, hooked a finger in the top of Lauren's scrubs, put her mouth to her neck and husked, "So, what do you have in mind for this evening?"
Lauren, feeling heat surge from her center to her brain had many options to present, but one in particular topped the list. She pulled her upper body away slightly, made eye contact and said, "Well, first, I need to get out of these clothes. I arrived at the hospital when the last ambulance pulled up and took vitals with street clothes on. As you can imagine, I was exposed to fluids. So, I say we go to my place so I can change and then we can decide what's next. Sound good?"
Arizona smiled and answered by making a beeline toward the passenger's seat.
Lauren pulled out of the lot and headed West. Within five minutes she drove past the hospital. Within fifteen she was near the cities edge. Within twenty she turned right at a farm to table called the Weeping Radish.
Arizona felt captivated by the sea of green before her. It reminded her of when she was young and lived on a Military Base in Norfolk, Virginia for a year. She also felt extremely intrigued by Lauren's decision to keep residence outside the city.
"Is this private land?" Arizona asked inquisitively.
Lauren knew her answer would reveal a part of her life she rarely shared. She took a deep breath and humbly confided. "This entire stretch of land, from the restaurant to my place belongs to my family. My Great Grandparents once worked this land, but my granddaddy gave up tobacco farming in the late 70s. Both his siblings had passed, so he decided to divide the land between his three children and eight grandchildren. We all own a portion now. The restaurant we just passed is my cousin's and my mom lives on the bluff to your right."
Arizona looked up and saw an amazingly beautiful home perched on the crown of the bluff. She knew Lauren was close to her mother, but really hadn't gleaned much about her financial status. From previous conversation, she knew Lauren lived in what she called a small cottage on the edge of the city. Arizona had imagined something sparse and adorned with a wrap-around porch. She couldn't wait to learn whether her imagination was correct or led astray.
Lauren drove another quarter mile then turned left on a long narrow drive. At the end, she parked beside a gorgeous but understated one level cube with a slanted room and a front made of glass. Arizona would later learn that the wall of glass faced the Western North Carolina Range.
Lauren put the engine in park and felt nervous about revealing this part of her identity. She hoped that Arizona would understand that in no way did her family wealth make life easier for her. Everything she had, she earned in spite of her privilege.
Arizona might have imagined a wrap-around porch where there wasn't one, but she was spot on with her image of sparse. The house promoted an open design and from what Arizona could tell had only one bath and one bedroom. Everything about the space, which Arizona guessed to be about 750 square feet, screamed Lauren. She wondered if she herself had designed it. When she found Lauren did, she was sure there was no end to her intelligence, ability, and drive.
Lauren decided she liked having Arizona in her home. She rarely brought women there; nor did she throw parties or invited people to dinner. Growing up, she was terribly embarrassed by her family's wealth. In many parts of the South, tobacco farming represented a part of US history countless individuals wish had never happened. She took comfort in knowing that her family was considered just and fair, but nothing could ever make right the countless wrongs in American history. Nothing.
"Should I put your bag in the bedroom?" Lauren asked softly.
Arizona nodded but did not speak. She heard something in Lauren's timbre she couldn't identify. It occurred to her just how much she really didn't know about her lover and it excited her to think about how much she might glean from this trip.
Lauren disappeared momentarily then returned and went directly to the kitchen and poured two glasses of wine. She left one on the counter that divided the kitchen from the rest of the home and walked toward Arizona with the other. In a low husky voice she said, "I need to take a quick shower. Make yourself at home; I won't be long," then handed Arizona the glass and turned to leave.
Without hesitation, Arizona stepped in her path. "May I join you?" she asked in a voice that gave Lauren goose bumps.
Lauren leaned in and consented with a long slow seductive kiss.
Once in the bathroom Arizona placed the glass of wine on the console next to the sink while Lauren set the temperature. Once she found the level she desired, she turned to Arizona and began to undress her.
Both women were keenly aware of how fit and defined Arizona's arms had become from climbing. A level of appreciation filled the room when Lauren removed Arizona's shirt. The curvaceous blonde Goddess loved the way Lauren watched as long blond tresses fell softly from the neck of her shirt and settled unkemptly around her face. Her breath hitched when Lauren lightly ran fingertips over the muscle lines in her forearms and biceps. By the time Lauren backed her against the console and kissed a trail down her neck, over her breast, down her stomach, and freed her from her loose fitting jeans, she knew with absolute certainty that they weren't leaving Lauren's home anytime soon.
Lauren's hot mouth on her body caused Arizona's to tremble and shake. She felt wetness drain from her center and knew the hours that lie ahead would be nothing short of magical. In a spontaneous display of gratitude, she wove her fingers into Lauren's hair, pulled her mouth to hers, and told her that she loved the affect she had on her body. Arizona kissed her long and hard and used her core to turn the tables, this time pinning Lauren's backside against the console. With self-assuredness and poise, she removed Lauren's hoodie and scrubs in the exact same manner in which her own were discarded. While on her knees, Arizona ran her hands up and down Lauren's muscular thigh several times before kissing the thin layer of dark blue fabric that gave shape to Lauren's already swollen sex.
Lauren immediately reacted to the sensation of Arizona mouth upon her. She approved with a throaty moan and placed her hand on the top of Arizona's head communicating her desire for more.
Arizona, pleased with Lauren's reaction, ran her hands up and down her lover muscular thighs a few times more before dragging her underwear to the floor and going back for more. Unfortunately, the second she placed her mouth on Lauren's slick wet sex her prosthetic slipped. She responded quickly by grabbing hold of the console behind her lover and steadying herself and fortunately moment was far from ruined. Without missing a beat, Lauren clasped onto Arizona's forearms and pulled her to a standing position. A millisecond later, she wrapped an arm around her waist and used her free hand to grab hold of Arizona's gorgeously firm ass-pulling their bodies together and providing stability.
Arizona, grateful for the Lauren's quick thinking, recovered by allowing herself the privilege of falling captive to her Lauren's strong embrace. She was not embarrassed or upset that she had a prosthetic mishap. Nor did she resist when Lauren hooked her fingers into her bra and slid it from her shoulders; then removed her own. She gave of herself freely when Lauren dropped to her knees and slid her black hipster underwear past her curves and helped her step free from the fabric.
Loving the spell she was under, Arizona looked down at her lover who was hungrily suckling her hipbone. She knew they needed to get into the shower then onto a flat surface as soon as possible. The heat and the passion of the moment were making her unsteady with lustful want. She assertively pulled Lauren to her feet and said, "Give me your hand."
Lauren did as she was told and held steady as Arizona used her free hand to slip out of her prosthetic. Together they moved past shower glass and reunited under a stream of heat.
It was a rare occasion when Lauren helped Arizona from one place to another, yet when she did, nothing about it seemed undignified. Lauren didn't know the Arizona who had to learn to walk again. She didn't know the woman who couldn't get from her wheelchair to the toilet. She had never met the terrified mother who couldn't carry her toddler up a flight of stairs. She only knew the married woman whose libido matched her own.
As Lauren ran soap up and down their bodies, Arizona reminisced over the first time the touched. She recalled the heat, incessant need, and way Lauren brought her to a sweet slow release. Memories of the sound of Lauren saying her name in pleasure pushed her over the edge. Quickly she took the soap from her lover's hand, placed it on the tray, and turned the water off.
The look in Arizona's eyes told Lauren exactly what to do. She didn't bother with towels and simply led the way.
Arizona allowed herself one split second to take in the surroundings of Lauren's bedroom then positioned herself in such a way that the tall thin Southerner was standing near the end of the bed. Having Lauren exactly where she wanted her, she ran her finger tips gently up and down the side of Lauren's arms before grasping the back of her thighs and moving her body forward enough to leave Lauren with no other choice than to sit. Arizona then used her well-developed core to steady herself between Lauren's legs and gently ease her onto her back. Like a dancer, she gracefully kissed and back-crawled Lauren to the top of the bed. Inch by inch, their ids intertwined and a silent agreement was made. Arizona was taking the lead and Lauren would acquiesce.
Kisses swollen with promise and pelvic thrusts pulsing with desire were beyond reproach. The sheer pleasure of Arizona's confidence intoxicated Lauren's essence. She was so aroused by Arizona's skillful movements she considered begging her to never stop.
Arizona kissed her lover until the need to make love consumed her. As she slowly moved her mouth from Lauren's to graze her teeth along her jawbone, a tingling sensation ran up her spine-vertebra by vertebra. This sensation caused her to pause and honor her feminine power. How amazingly magnificent it was to share this moment with a women like Dr. Lauren Boswell. She couldn't help but lift herself on one arm and fix her eyes upon the beautiful creature beneath her. Her mouth allowed her eyes only an instant of pleasure then demanded immediate contact. She complied by seductively kissing Lauren's arched collarbones then making her way to Lauren's perfectly shaped breasts.
Lauren threw her head back and moaned throatily in response to the painful pleasure produced by Arizona's teeth sinking into her perfectly erect nipple. The feeling of Arizona's hot wet mouth upon her taut flesh made her body convulse. The sensation of Arizona rolling Lauren's other nipple between her thumb and index finger, caused Lauren's entire core to lift from the bed.
Keenly aware of Lauren's waxing orgasm, Arizona consciously set a rhythmic pattern she knew would take her higher, but not over the edge. She was grateful for Lauren's compliance and took her time kissing down her well defined stomach before placing her mouth upon her sex. She wanted, more than anything in the world to feel Lauren release wave after wave of pleasure. Just before consuming Lauren's swollen nub in ernest, she whispered, "Breathe deep and stay with me as long as you can, okay?"
Hearing the rasp in Arizona's voice and seeing the look of absolute sincerity upon her face was overwhelming. Lauren found it difficult to process the intensity and compassion she felt in the moment and retreated behind closed eyes. Her impulsive side considered telling Arizona that she loved her, but the part of her that knew timing was everything won out.
Arizona knew Lauren had heard her request and waited for an answer. She gave her lover time to center and rubbed her thumbs along the inside of her thighs, stopping only when she came dangerously close to Lauren's center.
Arizona's pause told to Lauren she had not answered. She opened her eyes slowly and breathily agreed.
The instant Lauren consented; Arizona brought her mouth to her lovers sex and ran her tongue up her center and settled upon her engorged eggplant colored clit. She took pride in Lauren's extreme wetness. As she flicked her tongue over and around her lover's nub, she rejoiced in every sudden reaction her ministrations induced. She continued to run her thumbs along the inside of Lauren's thigh and used her forearms to hold Lauren's legs apart. The closer Lauren came to release the more Arizona focused on their connection. She knew Lauren was doing the same. They were one in body and mind.
As Lauren's raspy gasps increased in volume and speed Arizona knew exactly when to slow down and change rhythm. When Lauren wove her long lean fingers into Arizona's hair, she knew the first wave was upon her and changed from flicking to suckling. She took Lauren into her mouth like one would a Lollipop. Slowly, she drew in every inch of flesh, being gentle at first then increasing suction sporadically. She moved her tongue slowly, being mindful of not breaking contact, and just enough to slightly tease. As Lauren came, shaking and screaming, releasing wave after wave, Arizona held her firmly and encouraged her with a firm grip not to pull her sex away from her mouth. Arizona did not want to break contact. She wanted to hold her lover there and prolong the final wave for as long as she could.
Lauren honored her promise and held on. She focused on Arizona's subtle ministrations and the strength with which she held her mouth to her sex. She did as asked and breathed deeply into each wave, staying connected to her lover through each movement. The result was a mind-blowing orgasm that lasted for what felt like an eternal instant. An hour and a flash, a day and a moment, a year and a tick; all at once.
As Arizona gently eased her mouth from Lauren's swollen sex, she placed her palm where her mouth had been to prevent any traumatic separation. As she kissed her way up her lover's body and brought her mouth to hers, she felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude. Without hesitation, she collapsed into Lauren's strong embrace, nestled her nose into her lover's gorgeous long neck and whispered in her ear, "I love having sex with you."
Lauren impulsive nature was given a green light. Without second guessing, she used her length and strength to flip Arizona on her back, made direct and meaningful eye contact, and said, "I love having sex with you too."
Arizona, realizing Lauren was about to show her just how much she meant what she said smiled. It was her turn to surrender to sexual energy and embrace the vulnerability such surrender required.
To Be Continued.