I have hit a wall with all of my stories
SO, I got the idea to combine my stories "Raising The Rainbow" and "A Ready Made Spy". Some parts will be identical to the other stories, but with changes)
A formal warning: This story will contain abuse, non-con/rape, death, dark themes, it will not contain graphic descriptions of such.
I don't own HP, and I took inspiration from what Remus says in HBP: "Albus needed a spy, and here I was, ready-made."
*****And since I don't own HP, I don't own the parts of DH Chapter 1 you will see in this chapter*****
Again, I'm utilising my headcanon that Andromeda and Ted were part of the first Order. I'm having issues with including the memories, oops. My idea was to have her think of the memories as she's captive, but they just don't all seem to fit. I may try to include them later, I'm just changing this whole story, tbh
Remus carried Tonks upstairs after a while, still covered in the blanket, setting her gently on the bed after waving his wand to move the blankets out of the way. Slowly and gently, he pulled the rest of her clothes off, cleaning blood from her skin and feeling for any possible broken bones.
As much as he hated his condition and the years he had spent alone, it had provided him with ample time to learn how to search for and treat various injuries. When he couldn't find any, he grabbed a tank top and shorts, lifting her into a sitting position to pull the tank top over her head, gently adjusting it. When he pulled the shorts onto her, he realised the bruises on her legs seemed to have a very specific pattern and he felt even sicker. He lay his hand over the bruise, feeling worse when part of it matched up, as if someone had been digging their fingers into her legs.
The hand shaped bruise on her hip, these bruises on her thighs...
He released her leg as if her skin had burned him, stepping back. He was going to be sick.
He turned, heading back downstairs, and Sirius and Alastor looked up.
"What? Did something happen? Is she awake?"
"There's- she has some bruises."
"Well, she looked like she had been pretty severely beaten-"
"No, no, they're-" Remus couldn't think of the words to say, instead gesturing for them to follow him.
"Moony, mate, tell me." Sirius said, as they followed him.
"Lupin, just tell us." Alastor demanded.
He walked into the bedroom, heading over to Tonks, pointing to her leg. "There."
Sirius stood next to him. "It's a bruise-"
Remus leaned down, pulling the hem of her tank top up only far enough to reveal the hand shaped bruised. Sirius seemed to be realising what Remus was thinking, and he frowned when Remus placed his fingers over the bruises on her leg.
"Remus, you don't think-"
Remus straightened up. "Do you think we could wake her up with Rennervate?"
"We could try." Alastor said. "But she might not know where she is at first."
Remus nodded. "We're all here to calm her down if she panics." He said, reaching to pull the blanket over her so she wouldn't feel so exposed right away. He aimed his wand at Tonks.
"Remus, she may not want to admit it, you know." Sirius said. "Don't pry if she doesn't want to talk."
Remus nodded, pointing his wand at Tonks' chest. "Rennervate." He whispered, and there was a moment where nothing happened.
And then her eyes opened. There was a very fleeting moment where Remus thought she might be calm, but then she seemed to realise she was somewhere different, and sat up quickly, her eyes filling with confusion and panic as she looked around the room but almost didn't seem to recognise anything- until she spotted Remus.
"Dora, it's alright." He said, as her eyes flickered to Sirius and Alastor.
Tears filled her eyes and Remus realised she was trembling. He sat on the edge of the bed, reaching towards one of her hands. She pulled her hand away immediately, and then looked horrified at what she had done. "I'm sorry." She said quietly, tears falling onto her cheeks. "Remus, I'm so sorry-"
"Don't be." Remus said. "You have nothing to apologise for."
She burst into tears, burying her head in her hands. Remus heard Sirius leave and Alastor walked closer. "Dora, can you tell me what happened?" Alastor asked, gently. "What are these bruises from?"
She shook her head, crying harder.
Remus wanted to hold her, comfort her, but he couldn't bring himself to move. If she had flinched away from his hand...
"Do you want to take a bath?" Remus asked. "I'll go run you a bath, alright?"
She didn't respond, but was taking deep breaths, clearly trying to pull herself together. He stood, heading for the bathroom just as Sirius came up the stairs. He held a vial out to Remus.
"Calming Draught." He said. "She might need it."
Remus nodded. "I'm going to run her a bath. She didn't want to say anything, so I won't push it, just as you suggested. Can you go give that to her? Alastor is still with her."
Sirius nodded, but both men paused when they heard the door slam open downstairs.
"Remus? Alastor?" Kingsley yelled, and it sounded like he was heading for the stairs. "Sirius?"
"We're up here!" Sirius replied.
Kingsley appeared on the stairs, pausing a few steps from the top, aiming his wand at Remus. "You asked me something the day after you married, what was it?"
"I asked that you and Alastor forgive us for marrying without your knowledge or permission." Remus said. "How old were you when you married Alastor?"
"We're not technically married." Kingsley responded, stowing his wand in his pocket. "Where is she?"
"With Alastor." Remus said. "Sirius was taking her a Calming Draught, I was running a bath for her."
Kingsley held out his hand, taking the vial from Sirius and walking by the two of them. He walked down the hall, into Remus and Tonks' bedroom.
She had scrubbed every inch of her skin raw. Some parts of her body were red from the scrubbing, scratch marks from her own nails, the hot water was even stinging her raw skin but she couldn't handle it. She felt filthy, disgusting. They had told her she didn't have to face the Order until she wanted to- there was a meeting the next day, but she didn't have to attend.
Did Remus suspect, then? The way he looked at her, she suspected he did. He obviously saw the bruises, he had probably been the one to change her into the clothes she had been wearing when she woke up.
The Calming Draught that Kingsley had given her had only been forcing her to remain physically calm, it didn't seem to be easing her mind at all. Her thoughts wouldn't stop, she kept remembering, kept feeling Rodolphus' hands on her. Her own screams from the rounds of the Cruciatus seemed to echo in her ears.
What kind of sick torture was that? To do such a thing, just to gain information?
She took a deep breath. She couldn't let them have the satisfaction. She was going to that Order meeting, and she was going to continue to fight this war.
She rose from the water, momentarily feeling dizzy- probably because she couldn't remember the last time she ate- and stood for a moment, looking at herself in the mirror. The wound on her stomach looked like it could be a few days old- she assumed they used Dittany, then- and the bruises made her feel a strange mix of sickened and enraged. She grabbed the clothes Remus had handed her before she went into the bathroom, dressing as fast as she could despite the soreness that seemed to be setting in. She didn't have her wand, so she dried her hair as much as she could with a towel, draining the tub and heading down the stairs. She couldn't rid herself of the feelings she had, the disgust with herself or the instinctual jumpiness she seemed to be experiencing when Remus or Sirius walked too close, but she refused to let it consume her.
They were talking in hushed whispers on the couch, falling completely silent when she appeared at the bottom of the stairs.
"Are you alright?" Remus asked, standing and walking towards her.
She felt another surge of hatred for herself when she instinctively took a step back and Remus paused, but he didn't look upset. He reached into his pocket, and then held out his hand, her wedding ring in his palm. She took it, slipping it onto her finger.
"I'll make you something to eat." Kingsley said, standing and heading towards the kitchen.
"I'm not-"
"I didn't ask if you were hungry."
Sirius held up her wand, gesturing her over to the couch. She walked over with Remus, sitting on the couch. He held out her wand, which she took gratefully.
"As much as we'd love to break Wormtail's wand, it's actually good you had it." Sirius said. "Arthur needs a new wand, we'll take it tomorrow and see if he can use it. Do you remember how you escaped?"
She nodded. "He forgot to redo the enchantments on the room, I overpowered him and took his wand and fled-"
"Did you heal yourself?" Remus asked.
She looked at him. "Did I what?"
"Your stomach was partially healed when we brought you here." Sirius said. "How did you get two miles away from the house?"
She frowned. "I Apparated." She said slowly. "But I don't remembering healing myself."
Alastor frowned. "Did you get help from someone?"
"I don't think so?"
"We found you because a patronus led us to you." Sirius said. "A doe."
"A doe?" Tonks asked.
"You two didn't mention a patronus before." Alastor said.
"You don't remember anyone else being there?" Sirius asked, and she shook her head. "Do you remember what happened while you were there?"
"I remember the meeting." Tonks said, and then she remembered that the Death Eaters knew they were moving this Saturday. "I need to talk to the Order tomorrow."
"Kingsley and I have a watch on Privet Drive tonight, Remus and Sirius will be there tomorrow morning. Kingsley needs to be at the Muggle Minister's office in the morning, so I can Side-Along you to the Burrow if you don't want to Apparate alone." Alastor said "Unless you want to tell us what you learned, and simply stay here?"
She shook her head. "I'm going to the meeting."
"I was wondering where she was. Remus is still downstairs, so I went by their room, but she wasn't there." Alastor commented as he entered. Tonks was curled up next to Kingsley, half buried beneath blankets. "Asleep?"
"Involuntarily." Kingsley said. "Apparently, Remus made her take a pain potion and a Dreamless Sleep potion, I gave her the Calming Draught. It took a few minutes for all three to really affect her. I guess she just didn't want to stay with Remus tonight."
"Did Remus tell you?"
Kingsley nodded.
"Has she said anything?"
He shook his head, not wanting to tell Alastor before she could, because she had admitted it to Kingsley, but it was her business, not his. "She hasn't even admitted she was tortured with the Cruciatus, but we already know she was." He said, and that much was true, she hadn't said anything, but it was obvious she had been tortured with the Cruciatus.
"We'll need to ask her what she learned." Alastor said.
"That can wait until she wakes up." Kingsley said. "Do we need to-?"
"Remus will cover your patrol." Alastor said. "That's why I was coming up here anyway, he wants to have time to talk to her alone. He'll take your patrol tonight, I'll take his in the morning. He'll bring her to the Burrow."
"He's not going to pry, is he?"
"She can handle him."