More Jane and Charles business.

please review if you want to have more info on how Darcy spent his holiday - I will put in an addition!

Thanks to all my betas who contributed in different ways: lovingyouisbest, JD Bell; Joy Booth and Fredrica.

Final tweaking is my own.

Rubberband Girl

The next couple of days proceeded for Jane in much the same fashion, excepting the call from Charles. He had left her alone to brood. Having grown up with a mind never to dwell on the failings of others, two great losses in such a short time caused her optimism to flip like a coin to its alternate side. Jane felt suddenly aware that she was at the tip of all the iceberg of suffering felt in the world.

While she was in pain, others had much worse pain, much bigger problems than she did. She was at a loss to know what to do about it since her vocation to ease its suffering was also now ripped from her grasp. At one point, Aunt Lena made her stop posting on social media because she found and shared every meme or movement or other depicting a suffering animal, person or historical event filled with some type of persecution or atrocity.

Finally, Aunt Lena made her get dressed and they went to get their nails done. Jane protested that she shouldn't be getting a spa treatment because it was a waste of money that could go to some better cause. "Muchacha, you think that this money going to the ladies who do our nails, the refugees from Vietnam who are now working and own a successful business making women feel beautiful, you think the money could be spent better? On what?"

Jane was chastened when she realized that Lena herself came from a family who had, 2 generations previously, lived in a house with dirt floors. She realized the world was a more complicated place than one filled with suffering and those who exploit the afflicted. While they sat and got manis and pedis, Jane further considered her own narcissism thinking that she was suffering so greatly. Aunt Lena, however, interrupted further reverie. "I have made an appointment with a lawyer who specializes in representing people in the arts. We need to hurry or we'll be late."

Jane and Tia met with a kindly man in an impressive office full of paintings. He had the latest Land of Enchantment magazine on his desk. At first Jane was nervous but it dissipated when she looked into his kind eyes that conveyed a knowledge without any disapproval.

They met briefly, Tia already having a list of questions, and the 3 discussed what types of needs would be imminent as well as possible legal protections and repercussions. Satisfied, she and Tia left the building. "You know that you are going to have to march over to UNM tomorrow and register for classes, right?" Jane grudgingly agreed.

The next morning, a fresh Jane was as ready as she could be to 'march over to UNM' given the circumstances. She had brought her scooter and navigated as best she could at this new, bigger university. She was a bit hesitant to be in public for fear others would recognize her the way she was recognized by her interviewers at the School of Psych.

The only looks she received, however, were looks of interest from men – Jane had re-learned to detect as much after…Yes, after Charles. There I said it, Jane realized, inwardly. She found the Career Center, met the requisite helpful faculty, performed the tests* and awaited the printout. Jane was no longer so naïve as to believe it would hold her new destiny, like some fortune told by a mechanical gypsy*.

When she received the printout, Jane realized how eager she was to read the list of prospective careers given her interests, aptitude, education, and experience.* Many were of little interest to her and none were exactly the life saving vocation. However, an amorphous idea previously pushed back in her mind was now beginning to take on a clearer form in terms of education and career path. Having not previously considered it, Jane was now trying to decide whether to take a track that could enable her to do some kind of other therapeutic work where her new infamy would not be a barrier.

She remembered the Art Therapy she had taken herself while in the hospital. Again Jane's mind turned to that photographer who helped women feel better about themselves through photographing their own images. Jane decided to check out both the Communications Major and the Art School.

Not without some chagrin, Jane also realized that a less arduous- but still possibly risky- means of finishing her degree would be to simply stand up to the School of Psychology. It would mean being in more contact with some of the people who knew her 'secret', but maybe it was necessary to do for others what… that man… Charles…. Had done for her. She had to stand up to them. She had to believe in herself just like Charles had shown her she could do.

Yes, it was true.

She couldn't help but thank him. Again and again that day she realized how, although she might have to change her major, she had newly identified self assurance that would serve, no matter the direction she took. Jane found that she was no longer uncomfortable someone appreciated her beauty. She knew there was more substance within herself than that; she also felt more beautiful within herself. Charles helped her find the spark but her flame burned from within.

Instead of waiting around any longer, she consulted with the available faculty to further discuss her results. After some cursory conversation about her possibilities, Jane felt the kindly gentleman to be an understanding sort, and she appreciated his sharing of specific information such as the job market for prospective careers and the local salary for the alternates, in case Jane was unable to convince the School with her arguments.

She took the information given and used it to draft a letter:

Dear Dr _,

After thinking over your concerns over ethics, I am satisfied to answer them.

I am not ashamed of the work that has been made of me; I am proud and grateful for the opportunity.

My dear friend captured beauty that I previously hadn't realized within myself. Isn't that what the work of therapy with clients seeks to do?

This situation has caused me no little concern over how these pictures might affect my ability to practice in the future. However, if a school, employer or client finds me less of a professional because of this, perhaps the issue is not in my decision, but simply the choice of that entity or individual not to see new ways of being that incorporate the whole person.

My new position has given rise to my researching the career that could truly do for others what my friend did for me. As such, I plan to go on to use creative arts therapies for clients in need of a healing point of view that helps them see their own beauty. It would make my schooling more efficient to continue in your department.

However, if you have objections, I have already spoken with two other schools and they have none. I assure you that I am fully prepared to handle whatever might come my way in terms of inquiries about my modeling work. I have employed a lawyer for just such a purpose who will further advise me. Thank you for your consideration in this matter.

Sincerely,
Jane Bennet

She printed out the letter and took it to the department advisor.

"I ask that you read this and understand that time is of the essence."

He took a cursory glance at it and murmured that he would make some calls and get back to her by close of business today. She was scared of the possibility of failure, exhilarated that she had at last stood up for herself. At her characteristic slow pace, it took Jane some time to navigate the crowded maze of a building to her scooter.

By the time she got on it, her cell went off. The advisor told her that they would allow her to continue with her major but wanted her and her lawyer to meet with them and a draft a statement in case there were any further inquiries. With her time limited, Jane took the rest of the registration period to complete her choices and entered the semester in an entirely different manner than she had intended just days prior.

In the subsequent days, Jane enjoyed what she could of the city environment, having found a work study job selling supplies in the Art department which added inspiration and a little spending money in her pocket. Time passed more quickly than she could have imagined but days were kept full between getting adjusted to advanced coursework in a new school, working part time, and helping with the Gardiner kids. Jane also noticed the time as it related to her absence from Charles.

She forced herself to contact Charles and they made arrangements for meetings with buyers. Many of them had been busy people who spent significant time out of the area and so their schedules were not immediately clear. Upon the first encounter, Jane was shocked when the patron not only remarked with great enthusiasm at being able to meet the model but asked her the favor of seeing her scar. Jane had not believed Charles and the lawyer when they had suggested this could be a possibility but was thankful she'd rehearsed a response. This response had been predetermined for her own future interests rather than a rash decision and Jane was gratified that the patron respected her answer in the negative.

She also found hope that, not only would she see more success out of her injury, others were most interested in seeing it, knowing more about it. Not one to revel in her own story alone, Jane hoped this would provide more of a way for others in her position to speak in their own voice, communicate in their own bodies. Her hope and dream continued to be unformed and strong. The lure of more income and publicity to further her dreams was enticing, but Jane resisted Charles's very timid suggestion that they could continue to partner together to create more portraits and photographs.

They had instead arranged for a limited set of giclees to be made of the existing images. Jane did not want to be overly known but appreciated the sincere interest and income these generated. She was not as pleased with the nagging feelings every time Charles was around. And he found plenty of reasons to do so. Every hint of a purchase would induce him to text her. When a purchase and meeting were set, he would call her about every detail.

When Jane complained to her Aunt, Lena just chuckled, "Pobrecita. Working for a living is so hard when you have a handsome man who is at your beck and call trying to please you and woo you. What is he to you but a fly? Have some pity on the man and tell him once and for all YES or NO. Don't you see that he is trying to make you happy and show that he will never again do anything behind your back? You have him trained. I would not be so blasé about losing him. Besides, you're still keeping that locket. I think you know what the answer is to your problem. I don't know why you're wasting your time talking to me."

This prodding induced the silent treatment for a day or so while Jane pouted and thought about what her Aunt had suggested. She considered asking Lizzy her opinion but didn't want to trouble her sister with stories about Darcy's friend. When they spoke, Jane only shared highlights of what had happened and tried to seem in control of the situation. She was tired of Lizzy taking care of her and wanted to take care of this one on her own. Lizzy sounded so tired and she deserved to focus on herself for once.

Jane had been so consumed with her problems, also, for once, she didn't realize that her mother didn't once call in hysterics, nor did she get any wry calls from her father or any other family member. Normally under the circumstances one would think her family would react. This was one case where the lawyers acted quickly once they were retained. They called the Bennets who had only that day heard from a friend about a picture in a local magazine that looked like Jane.

The Bennets thought it a coincidence until the lawyers called. The magazine hadn't put the woman's name in and the lawyers suggested that they continue to act as if this were a coincidence and otherwise deflect any questions that came their way.

For once Francesca (who was shocked) listened to her husband and did, in fact, deflect curiosity with a skill no one would have believed. When Jane eventually learned what her parents went through and what her mother had done, she was partially mortified for her parents but also secretly a little amused at rebelling against her mother, something she'd never sought out to do. Francesca had never quite understood her daughter since the accident and she thought that perhaps Jane had gotten hit in the head to make such a decision as to pose nude for portraits. As such, she inwardly assumed the whole ordeal somehow wasn't really her fault at all. And anyway, it was a little gratifying that her poor disabled daughter was a little famous and also that she was considered beautiful.

Edward was beginning to regret the extent of his indolence. Francesca always was so in charge, and he was always so consumed with research and classes. He managed to find the most threatening way possible to deflect questions about whether that picture was his daughter. No one had to ask him twice- and yet the answer the curious received would be ambiguous enough to afford their eternal curiosity, a fate Edward hoped on them for all his own suffering.

*IE the Strong Interest Inventory- a career interest assessment

Colossal Girl

Jane did not have long to mope, or pout, or whatever she was doing, before Charles called her yet again. The man called several times a day now. Impatient with herself, with him, with her Aunt, with the situation…. She erupted.

"What is it this time? Has someone has called to inquire about one of the pieces. Let me guess, it's that piece with me on the table. And the man is fascinated with my scar and wants to see it. But, he's a busy man so we'll have to wait until it is convenient for him. And in the meantime you will call me with the most miniscule detail such as if the man catches a cold! You know what will happen next? When I get off the phone Tia will chastise me about how rude I was to my business partner and remind me how I have to work for my income! Then in a day or so you will find some superass lame excuse to spend time with me, like going over the contract AGAIN or looking at negatives or some bullshit. And I will be irritated about going and about my Aunt and then I'll go and have a good time and be irritated about that! You make me so angry Charles Bingley! You have turned my world, my plans, my identity upside down! I hate that when I think something well of myself now I have to give you credit, just the same as when I realize I'm not so trusting now it's because of what I learned after YOU! It's all just as well since things can't go back they may as well go forward. Are you going to ask me to move in already or not? Because we may as well.

I am not going to go through the whole cliche melodrama of giving you a chance to respect my boundaries because I won't or you won't or we will and it will be perfect. I don't know anymore! So when are you coming over to pick up my trailer of stuff? And, by the way, I haven't decided when we are fucking yet because I am still furious with you!"

Charles had the patience to withstand her tirade, and his reward for doing so felt incongruous. He was not one to question the gift of such an opportunity however. He was over to the Gardiners in 30 minutes and they had moved in every last ceramic figurine, every makeup brush, even the pair of sneakers Jane always forgot in the utility room- every bit of Jane was now inhabiting Charles's house- and he liked it that way.

If only she would start thinking of it as theirs. Well, having her stuff around was a start.

It had been awkward trying to decide where to put her things- in the end her volume of clothing required the guest closet and her linens were dusty from being used to cushion breakables on the last minute move. She decided to settle between both rooms.

Charles didn't know whether he would be more damned to celebrate her moving in or to act as if it were normal. In the end, he decided on treating her like a princess in case doing nothing was the wrong answer. As she had been of late, Jane initially made a funny face when she saw him emerge from the kitchen with a tray and ice bucket. It didn't stop her from tasting her favorite, bread, brie and lavender jelly, or from eating a few truffles. She wasn't in the mood for Champagne, asking instead for a tea latte which Charles eagerly made. Charles decided to put away the Champagne and got himself a bottle of Strongbow* instead. As she ate, Jane seemed to relax.

He took it as a cue, because Charles knew, as much as he wanted Jane in his life, he could not live on eggshells forever. They needed to face things. "So what do we do next? I don't want to be on eggshells, I don't want you to be afraid of me, either."

"Well, feeding me was a start".She answered, between bites.

"So, would you like me to start a bath, brush your hair, lay out your nightshift my lady?" He only half teased.

Jane sighed, reflecting for a moment, then answered, "I don't know what I want. I'm going to get mad sometimes. I'm going to be depressed other times. I hope I'll go back to being Jane. You've given me more self certainty and less certainty of what I'm going to do about it. I know I needed the former but I'm not so sure about the latter. You still look fucking hot, especially when you are moving my furniture and making me food. I miss you drawing me. I miss working together. I'm here because I plan on staying as long as we both keep trying hard not to fuck up like we did before. Our heads were NOT screwed on straight. I figure, why wait for this bit when I know it's going to end up this way? So, let's split rent, I'll buy my own food and you buy yours."

"You can't, well not exactly." Charles looked sheepish. "Before you get mad it's not what you think. I got a good deal on this when it came on the market a few years back and kept using big checks to help pay it down. I lived on ramen and leftover gallery food at times when jobs didn't roll in quickly after, but it felt good to be paying down the principle so fast. Now that we've split those other big checks that just came in, at the rate I'm going, it's going to be paid off in a couple of years. So, you're welcome to pay half of expenses, but I plan on this house being my studio when I'm done. It's part of my business so it doesn't make sense for you to do much more than pay some expenses like additional utilities and changes you want to make for your living needs. If you really want to talk business tonight we can call our lawyers but can we just wait until tomorrow when we've had some sleep?"

"OK. Only if you hold me until I go to sleep."

"Uh, which bed are you going to be in?" Charles waited to flinch.

"Yours." She looked at him quizzically when Charles flinched anyway. He had been expecting a tirade. He shrugged his shoulders. They sat in awkward silence for a beat.

He then had the presence of mind to ask "Which bed am I going to be in?"

She laughed and playfully slapped him on the knee. "Silly!"

"Alright!" He cheered, pulling her up. When they got settled in bed Charles looked at her with a mixture of hopefulness and tentativeness. She knew what his unspoken question was, and knew he didn't know whether he was even supposed to ask it, or if she would get mad if he didn't ask.

She put him out of his misery, only a little: "Only holding."

"Alright." He wrapped his arms around her. "Can I hold your…"

"Don't push your luck." Jane turned out the light and shifted, pulling his arms tighter and they lazily drifted towards dreamland.

"Jane?" He whispered.

"Yes, baby?" Her voice was relaxed and tired.

"I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you never returned the locket." He felt her smile in the darkness.

remember, reviews will get you an extra about what Darcy has been up to!

We will be getting back to ODG, at any rate, very soon.