A formal warning: This story will contain abuse, non-con/rape, death, dark themes, it will not contain graphic descriptions of such.
*****And I don't own HP, or the excerpts from the book/movie you see below*****
By October, tension was mounting. Hermione knew that Harry hated that no new progress had been made, and Sirius had taken to leaving daily to spy in Diagon Alley or any other area he could think of, listening for news.
No Order meeting had been planned yet, and Kingsley still disappeared daily as well- claiming that he was doing the same as Sirius. Tonks and Remus kept to themselves unless they were asked about something or if Order related business came up, but even then, Hermione noticed Tonks seemed to be shying away from any bit of Order related business- and they barely saw her anyway, she always seemed to be in her bedroom, which didn't seem to bother Remus or Sirius, who had gone to Diagon Alley together today.
Hermione spent all day, every day, pouring over her books with Harry and Ron and they revisited the same ideas over and over. Arguments had begun to spring up in between Ron and Harry, each argument more heated than the last.
"You two have been arguing all week! Enough, already!" Hermione snapped, standing between the two of them.
"I'm just saying-"
"Ron, I don't care!" Hermione said. "We can't be fighting right now! I know you miss your family, Ron, we all have people we miss right now! But we need to find the Horcruxes. The Order is still around, and I'm sure if there's another meeting, your family will be there."
"I'm just saying, it must be easy for Harry-"
"Easy for me?" Harry demanded. "Sirius is gone all day, spying for us, and hoping he simply doesn't get caught because we won't have more Polyjuice Potion for another week and-"
"Sirius is the best option we have, he's the only one who can safely come and go, he knows how to avoid being caught-" Hermione began.
"And at least you see him!" Ron added.
"Stop it, both of you!" Hermione cried. "I'm tired of this, all this arguing! If we fight amongst ourselves, we're doomed."
There was an uncomfortable silence as she stared at both of them, daring them to continue their squabble. They didn't seem to want to continue. Instead, Harry sat on their bed and Ron sat next to Hermione's with her, the two boys staring at each other.
"Good." Hermione said. "We need to figure out how to destroy the locket, and I think I know how we can do it."
Harry looked at her hopefully. "How? We haven't got any basilisk fangs-"
"You stabbed the basilisk with the sword." Hermione said.
"Uh, yes, I remember that." Harry said, frowning slightly.
"The sword was made by goblins, it only takes in what makes it stronger."
"So we need the sword?" Harry asked. "But-"
"It's been stolen." Ron said. "So now we have to add that to list of things we can't bloody well find."
"We just need to think about where it might be." Hermione said. "Perhaps-"
"Where it might be." Ron said, rolling his eyes. "We have no idea where the sword is, or the rest of the Horcruxes, it could take forever to find them!"
"We have help, I'm sure we can figure out a way to find them-" Harry began.
"Oh yeah, loads of help. We have an Animagus, a werewolf, Tonks has barely said a word to anyone for days and Kingsley's never here- we've got the real helpful Order members." Ron commented.
"Stop it." Hermione repeated. "We can't keep fighting with each other, or we'll never defeat Vo-"
"Don't say his name!" Ron snapped immediately.
"Oh, stop being ridiculous, Ronald! It's just a name!" Hermione cried, feeling irritated.
"It just- it feels like a jinx or something." Ron said. "Just call him You-Know-Who, most of the Order does."
Harry sighed quietly. "Dumbledore said fear of-"
"Well, saying it didn't do Dumbledore much good in the end, did it, mate?" Ron asked. "Just show You-Know-Who some respect."
"Respect?" Harry repeated, but Hermione shook her head at Harry. "Show him respect? He killed my parents!"
"Stop it! Both of you!" Hermione snapped. "We can't keep fighting! This isn't going to help find Horcruxes-"
"How are we supposed to find them when no one knows anything?" Ron demanded. "I thought you knew what you were doing!"
"I've told you everything Dumbledore told me!" Harry snapped. "And we have a Horcrux-"
"And we're about as close to destroying it as we are to finding the rest, aren't we?" Ron said, standing.
"Well, what are we supposed to do? Wander aimlessly?" Harry demanded, jumping to his feet as well. "We're researching, we're planning, we can't just rely on luck!"
"Planning is getting us nowhere!" Ron said. "The entire Order is hiding because they're afraid of being killed, and you're hiding too! You're the one who says you know how to defeat him, but what are you doing? Staying here, while everyone else loses their family or homes or friends-"
"You don't think I don't know how it feels?" Harry yelled. "Sirius is out there every day!"
"At least you see him! At least you know he's safe! And like I said anyway, it's easy for you, your parents are dead. You have no actual family to worry about."
A tense silence followed Ron's words, and Hermione didn't know what to do or say. Should she interject? Suggest they move forward with a plan?
"Ron." Hermione said quietly. "Take off the locket, you've been wearing it all day, you wouldn't be saying these things otherwise-"
"Leave." Harry growled. "Go back to your Mum. If it's so terrible for you here, go."
Ron didn't move for a moment, but then he nodded, ripping the locket from his neck and grabbing his bag. "What about you?" He demanded, looking at Hermione.
"What?" She asked quietly.
"Are you staying?"
"Yes- we said we'd help, Ron-"
Ron turned, leaving the attic.
"Ron!" Hermione called, following after him. "Ron, please! Don't leave!"
As she followed Ron down the second flight of stairs, she heard a bedroom door open.
"Hermione, what's wrong? What's going on?" Tonks asked, and Hermione heard Tonks' footsteps following her down the stairs.
"Ron, come back, we'll just talk about it!" Hermione called, as Ron reached the front door and turned to her.
"You're choosing to stay, yes?" He demanded.
"Yes, Harry needs our help-"
"Then you choose him." Ron said, throwing open the front door and disappearing outside. Hermione stood, shocked for a moment, and a minute later, heard a loud crack, and knew Ron was gone.
"Hermione, what happened?" Tonks asked, and Hermione turned to see Tonks standing on the bottom step. "Are you alright?"
"He- Harry and Ron had an argument." Hermione said, sniffing. "I don't think he's coming back."
She closed the front door, walking over to the couch and sinking onto the cushion, tears hitting her cheeks. She buried her face in her hands, beginning to cry.
"Oh dear..." Tonks said quietly, and Hermione heard her walk over and a moment later, felt her sit. "I'm sorry, I'm not very good with this kind of stuff. I'm sure he'll come back, Hermione."
"I-I don't think he will."
Remus entered the bedroom slowly and quietly, unsure if she was awake or asleep. She was curled up on her side of the bed, but wasn't sleeping, and sat up as he shut the door.
"You're back earlier than the last few days. Any news?" She asked, and Remus shook his head.
"No new activity. Have you eaten today?" Remus asked, and Tonks was quiet for a moment. "Chocolate from my bedside table doesn't count." He added when she opened her mouth to speak.
"It does if I ate it."
"Are you feeling alright?" Remus asked, and she shrugged.
"I'm not feeling terrible."
He withdrew three small packages wrapped in brown paper from his pocket, along with his wand, and restored the packages to their proper sizes. He held one out to her, and she gave him a curious glance before reaching and taking it. She crossed her legs, and he placed the other two packages on the bedspread in front of her. "We went to three different bookshops for those." Remus explained.
Tonks pulled the string away from the first package, pulling the brown paper aside to reveal two books. "So Your Witch Is Expecting?" Tonks asked, picking it up to look at the next one. "The Magical Midwife?"
"That second one is written by a midwife, and apparently goes into a lot of details, even the not so pleasant details." Remus said. "I looked at it quickly, it definitely has a lot of details."
She untied the second package, pulling the paper aside to reveal a single book. "Magical Mishaps: What To Expect When You're Expecting A New Witch Or Wizard." She read. "I hope that doesn't infer that accidental magic becomes an issue again."
"For adults? I'd doubt it."
"Well, some adults sometimes do things by accident." Remus said. "It's rare, but I'd imagine very strong emotions could trigger it."
She shrugged. "I sincerely hope not." She said, unwrapping the third package to find three more books. "Common Myths About Werewolves?"
"That one, and the other one in there are for us to read, just so we can try to get some information about possible infections passed from father to child." Remus said.
She put the book aside, picking up the second one. "A Werewolf And You: The Dark Truth Of The Beasts. Sounds cheerful, Remus." Tonks said, putting it aside to pick up the final book. "101 Things For The Common Pregnant Witch To Avoid."
"I looked through some of that." Remus said. "There are some that are obvious, but it's good information."
She opened the book to a random page and laughed. "As soon as a witch discovers she is pregnant, she should refrain from challenging another witch or wizard to a duel." Tonks read. "Well, what should I do with my Monday afternoons now?"
"Perhaps a friendly, definitely non-violent game of Quidditch?" Remus asked.
"No, that's in here too." She said, casually flipping through the pages. "Thank you for getting these."
"You should thank Sirius, he helped me buy them." Remus said quietly. "We stopped at Flourish and Blotts because there wasn't anything going on, and he disappeared for a while. Went to Gringotts, took a bunch of money from his vault- also changed some to Muggle money- and said we should have the books I was looking at. Then he dragged me to another bookshop in Knockturn Alley, saying he had an idea- bought those two werewolf ones and the 101 Things, and then he decided he needed another book about potions, so we went to another one, and he found that Magical Mishaps one."
"Very generous of him." Tonks said.
"He mentioned being worry about you, you've been very quiet lately."
"I haven't been feeling well." Tonks said. "And it's boring, I've brewed any potion I think the Order would need. And I'm just tired."
"Well, now you have these books to read." Remus said.
She picked up So Your Witch Is Expecting, flipping through it. "Oh yes, I can't wait to read about... swollen ankles and leaky breasts and..." She continued flipping. "Oh, here we go, Healing Spells for when my vagina tears."
Remus was quiet for a moment, mostly just surprised that she had been so abrupt with it. "Well... sounds like some of that information may be useful." Remus said slowly, taking the book from her. He flipped through slowly, stopping on a page. "Look, spells to alter your clothes so you don't have to worry about constantly buying new ones."
"Well, actually, I was planning to take your shirts and sweaters." Tonks said. "Maybe shirts and sweaters Alastor and Kingsley never wear too. And you have a few pairs of pajama pants you never wear, so I was going to take those..."
"Yes, but you still have..." Remus cleared his throat quietly. "... certain items of clothing you can't borrow from us."
"Then I use the spell on my knickers and bras, easy." Tonks said. "I don't think I've told you enough times how much I love you."
"You've told me plenty, but it never hurts to hear it." Remus said. He scooped up the books, standing and walking to place them on the dresser. He turned as she stood, meeting her halfway between the bed and dresser. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, hugging him tightly. He returned the embrace as she pressed a kiss to his lips.
"God, I love you." She said as she pulled away from the kiss.
"I love you too, Nymphadora."
"You still don't have permission to call me that, Remus."