A formal warning: This story will contain abuse, non-con/rape, death, dark themes, it will not contain graphic descriptions of such.

*****And I don't own HP, or the excerpts from the book/movie you see below*****

The rest of October and the first week of November passed quietly, the weather becoming progressively colder and the hunt for the Horcruxes once again stalling. Sirius, Harry and Hermione left for a few days at a time, traveling everywhere they could think of as a possible hiding spot.

However, Harry was getting annoyed again that they couldn't make any progress. They had just spent a few days searching for the orphanage Voldemort had been raised in, with no luck. It had been torn down and an office building had been erected in its place. They had returned to the house feeling defeated.

Some nights, he couldn't sleep, so he'd leave the attic and walk around the backyard for hours until the pain in his scar intensified or went away. He found walking around the dark backyard in the cold helped, the sharp November wind stinging his skin in the early hours of the morning.

Right now, his scar was burning terribly, and he barely made it outside before it felt like his scar ripped open and he was staring at the marble floor of a dark room.

He looked up, watching the scene before him. McLaggen had admitted his failure in keeping two Order members captive, and had paid the price with his life. However, it was useful to know that Potter had been spotted with Sirius Black, who had also been spotted with Remus Lupin a few weeks prior.

Voldemort never regretted his actions, and definitely felt that his decision to keep Alastor Moody alive was working well. He'd know the true location of his own house, and it was easy to guess that if Black had been with Lupin and Potter had been Black as well, they were all together.

"Where are they hiding?" Bellatrix demanded, leaning over Moody.

"I wouldn't know, I've been here." Moody replied.

He was not amused, he realised. The Auror's refusal to answer anything was beginning to infuriate him, perhaps he had outlived his usefulness. However, the old Auror would know where his own house was, and if it had been confirmed that Potter was there...

"Perhaps, Alastor, we can make an arrangement." Voldemort said, walking slowly over to the pair in the center of the room. "Perhaps, exchange Nymphadora's life for Potter's?"

"I would never make a deal with you." Moody spat. "I wouldn't trust you to honour it."

"You do realise, Mad-Eye, if we find Nymphadora and Shacklebolt with Potter, we'll kill them both?" Bellatrix asked. "And I won't be too kind to either one. Perhaps, the loss of your other eye might convince you?"

"That's enough, Bellatrix." Voldemort said, raising a hand calmly. "I could grant your entire family protection. You, Shacklebolt and Nymphadora will be left alone by my Death Eaters. You know where they are, don't you?"

"They'd continue to fight, and I continue to believe you'd still kill them."

"Take him back to the cellar." Voldemort ordered. "We know you have information, Alastor, it's up to you on how we learn it."

Bellatrix leaned closer to Moody. "I know Rodolphus had fun with darling Nymphadora, perhaps Rabastan wants a turn when we find her? Or, Greyback? Perhaps you'll give us information then? Will hearing her screams loosen that worthless tongue of yours?"

"Harry? Is that you?"

Harry opened his eyes to find himself on his back on the cold ground, a few steps from the back door. Tonks was leaning over him, the concern on her face only partially visible in the dim light from the door.

"Are you alright?" She asked, reaching down to help him stand. "Why were you on the ground?"

Once again, Harry was mildly annoyed that she had now come across him laying on the ground three times. "I'm fine." He lied, standing. "What are you doing out here?"

"Well, I came downstairs because I was a little hungry- which has been a little more annoying than when I was constantly ill, at least I could ignore nausea most of the time- and heard the back door." Tonks explained, as they walked back into the house. "I thought it was a Death Eater or something, I don't know. Are you sure you're alright?"

Harry nodded. "I- uh, I think I'll just head back to bed."

"Alright, goodnight, Harry." Tonks said, walking over to the fridge as Harry left the kitchen. He paused, thinking about what he had just seen.

He returned to the kitchen. "Tonks, can I talk to you for a minute?"

She looked up from where she was pouring a glass of milk. "Of course you can." She said. "Do you want anything?"

Harry shook his head, sitting at the table. A moment later, Tonks sat across from him with the milk and a small plate of biscuits. "Tonks, I can trust you, right?" Harry asked, and she frowned slightly.

"I certainly hope I've never done anything to make you think otherwise." Tonks said slowly, and Harry was suddenly reminded of July, when Fleur had suggested Tonks had revealed the Order's plan.

"I didn't mean- you never have, I'm sorry." Harry said quickly. "It's just- well, I've been having visions."

"Visions?" Tonks asked.

"Like the one where I saw Arthur get attacked." Harry said.

"Have you told anyone?"

"I don't want to." Harry said. "Hermione would want me to try to block them out, Remus and Sirius would worry-"

"So why tell me?" Tonks asked.

"Because I wanted to tell someone, and figured you wouldn't tell others." Harry said. "And that's why I walk around the back yard at night sometimes, because my scars hurts and I don't want Hermione to hear me if I start talking or something."

"And Snape's lessons didn't help?" Tonks asked.

"You knew about those?"

"Of course I did, I stayed at Grimmauld Place overnight quite a few times." Tonks said. "I was there when Sirius and Remus were angry that Snape had stopped the lessons. The three of us tell each other a lot, Sirius is the last surviving member of my family who doesn't want me dead, and I'm the same to him. However, I won't tell them this."

There was silence between them as Tonks broke apart a biscuit. "Tonks, do you think maybe the Death Eaters are right?"

Tonks looked shocked, and raised an eyebrow. "I'm sorry?" She asked, as soon as she had finished chewing the biscuit.

"I don't mean the pureblood part, I mean the killing of their enemies." Harry said. "What if that's what we have to resort to in order to win? I already know that in the end, I'm going to have to kill Vol- You Know Who- and I'm just thinking-"

"If it comes down to it, the Order will kill. Honestly, some of us have killed." Tonks said. "However, it's different than what they're doing. They're killing some of us because they believe we're scum. When we kill, it's usually because we're trying to stay alive. However, they don't think they're doing anything wrong. That's the problem with a war. Both sides think they're right."

"Do you think the war will end?" Harry asked. "I mean, if we can find the Horcruxes, how do we know it won't end badly anyway?"

"We don't. However, you've survived You Know Who a few times now, and as long as he continues demanding that no one else hurt you, you're untouchable." Tonks said. "That, and we have some pretty strong enchantments here. The only this house will be found is if someone tells, and I like to think I can trust everyone who knows where it is."

Harry was quiet for a moment. Hadn't that been what his parents believed? That they were safe, because they could trust their friends? Harry hoped that the past couldn't repeat itself, that no Order members would be sold out to Voldemort by someone they treated as a friend.

"Tonks, I saw Mad-Eye tonight." Harry said.

"Where?" Tonks asked.

"The connection I have with You Know Who, I can feel when he's feeling really strong emotions." Harry said. "And then, sometimes I can see what's happening as it happens. That happened again tonight, and I saw Mad-Eye."

"He's still alive, right?"

Harry nodded. "They're keeping him alive because of us." Harry said. "He knows I was seen with Sirius, and Sirius was seen with Remus. And if I was seen with Sirius, I'd be with Sirius. And if Sirius was seen with Remus, they'd both be with you, and Bellatrix believes that means-"

"We're all with Kingsley." Tonks finished and Harry nodded. "But thank you for letting me know, Harry. It's good to know he's still alive."

"You won't tell, will you?" Harry asked. "I know Kingsley probably wants to know, but-"

"I won't tell." Tonks said. "And, if it makes you feel better, why don't I tell you something you could use against me?"

"Like...?"

"Something that no one else knows. Not Kingsley, not Remus, nobody." Tonks said. "That way, if I let your secret slip, you can easily divert the situation."

Harry was quiet for a moment. "You're not going to tell me you've been a Death Eater the entire time, are you?"

Tonks laughed, shaking her head. "No, it's nothing like that." She said. "It will, however, cause a lot of trouble if someone were to find out."

"And I'd be allowed to tell... who, exactly?"

"Whoever you want."

"Wouldn't that be blackmail?"

"It could be considered two-way blackmail, if that's how you'd like to see it." Tonks said.

Harry nodded. "Let's hear it, then."

"Remus and I are divorced." Tonks said.

Harry frowned slightly. "...what?" Harry asked. "You said Remus didn't know-"

"He doesn't." Tonks said.

"You- how?"

"We did technically get married. It was after an Order patrol in Hogsmeade, he told me he had asked someone to meet him in the Three Broomsticks. I figured it was Sirius, but it was the wizard from Dumbledore's funeral-"

"The one from Bill and Fleur's wedding?"

Tonks nodded. "We got married, but unfortunately, marriages have to be documented at the Ministry. A few days later, I was called into a meeting. Umbridge, Scrimgeour and Robards were there. Apparently, they were having a meeting to discuss if I should be sacked or arrested. They made a deal with me. I could sign the forms for the marriage to be annulled, and I wouldn't be arrested. Or, alternatively-"

"You could remain married but be arrested."

Tonks nodded again. "I couldn't tell Remus, and I never have." Tonks said. "I plan to, eventually, but it doesn't seem important right now."

"How does Remus not know?"

"You think the Ministry, who decided our marriage was wrong, would want to tell him about what they had done?" Tonks asked. "It doesn't matter to me, in any event. I still will call him my husband, as he calls me his wife. I think he enjoys doing it, honestly, he does it a lot more than one would expect. And the baby will never know the difference. If we survive the war, I'll tell him and we'll do things properly. If we don't... well, it doesn't hurt for people to believe we were married, right?"

"So, you're giving me permission to tell people you divorced Remus to avoid being arrested, if you tell anyone that I'm still having visions about Vo- You Know Who?"

"Yes."

Harry nodded. "I think that sounds fair." He decided.

"And of course, I'm going to say what everyone has probably told you a dozen times. If you need someone to talk to-"

"I can talk to you." Harry said. "Yeah, I've heard that."

Tonks buried her face in her hands, yawning. "Alright, well, I'm going back to bed." She said, standing and collecting her dishes. "We're going into London tomorrow, and you and Hermione are coming with us."

"We?"

"Sirius, Remus and myself." Tonks said. "Kingsley's going to be on patrol for most of the day, and we've all decided that leaving you and Hermione alone would be foolish, in case the enchantments fall, and I'm forbidden to go anywhere alone. Actually, I've been forbidden to do anything, really." Tonks rolled her eyes slightly, but flashed Harry a quick smile as if she were joking about being forbidden to do anything.

As Tonks left her dishes in the sink and left the kitchen, Harry realised it may not have been a joke at all.