A formal warning: This story will contain abuse, non-con/rape, death, dark themes, it will not contain graphic descriptions of such.

*****And I don't own HP, or the excerpts from the book/movie you see below*****

Also, yes, there's gonna be some smut in the later area of this chapter. And after the smut, part of DH's chapter 11(The Bribe) shows up.

As soon as the November moon wanted, they left. Kingsley had thrown himself into Order work again, while Remus and Tonks were reduced to staying home and hoping some interesting news might come their way.

Most of the days, Sirius would find them in the living room, Tonks' head on Remus' lap as they read through the baby books together.

There wasn't really anything else for them to do.

Sirius left with Hermione and Harry early one morning, before anyone woke up. Or, before Sirius thought anyone was awake. As they approached the stairs, he could hear talking from Remus and Tonks' room- he honestly thought they usually slept in, but apparently that had been a wrong assumption.

He felt bad leaving without saying anything, but this had to end, and he had to help Harry.

They spent the final week of November moving around, never staying somewhere more than a day. Moving around seemed to give the illusion of progress, and that was what they wanted- progress.

The first week of December was spent in a forest covered in thick snow, after they had nearly met Snatchers at a wizarding pub. It gave them time to rest, anyway.

The second week of December, they traveled to the Forest of Dean, where they did nothing but try to plan.

By December's full moon, they still didn't have another Horcrux or anything to destroy them with. There had been a quick discussion about whether or not to go back, interrupted by the feeling someone was nearby, and Sirius decided it wasn't worth the risk.

If they were being followed, he wouldn't lead them to more Order members.

After three nights of hearing someone near their camp, they began to stand watch at night. Sirius couldn't sleep when Harry or Hermione offered to take watch during the night, and he realised he was right to do so.

One night, he realised how cold it was getting, and went outside to tell Harry to come back into the tent.

"Harry?" Sirius called, when he realised Harry wasn't sitting right in front of the tent. It had only been about half an hour since Harry had gone outside. There were footprints in the snow, partially covered by the snow that was still falling. Sirius followed them quickly, wand in hand.

Outside of the boundaries, he didn't want to call for Harry too loudly, in case there were Death Eaters nearby. Why would Harry wander off?

Something silver appeared near Sirius, materialising into a doe. "Who's there?" Sirius demanded. "Who are you?"

The doe walked away from Sirius a few steps before stopping.

Whose doe was this?

Sirius followed the doe, which stopped every time he did. He looked around, but couldn't see anyone casting it. The doe stopped at the edge of a clearing, and then vanished.

Sirius heard someone shouting, and rushed into the clearing. There was a long scream of agony, and Sirius found himself staring at Harry on the ground and Ron, the Sword of Gryffindor in his hands.

"What the Bloody Hell is going on?" Sirius demanded. Ron and Harry looked up, Harry pushing himself to his feet.

"We found the sword." Harry said.

"Where did you come from?" Sirius asked Ron. "Everyone's been wondering-"

"I was at Bill's for a while. We argued, I left. Tried to find you lot, but couldn't find the damn house again."

"Oh, yeah... I think Kingsley's reset the enchantment a couple times." Sirius said. "I hope they haven't reset it in the last couple weeks. Where'd you find the sword?"

"In there." Harry said, pointing to the pond. Sirius noticed the ice was broken, and Harry was dripping wet.

"Back to the tent. We'll discuss this behind our protective enchantments."

Tonks was frustrated.

Not for any good reason, she realised. She was frustrated because her hormones had decided to flip her from being constantly upset and sometimes happy, to mostly happy, easily angered and easily aroused. Every little thing Remus did nearly unhinged her and she was sure he knew, and was doing it on purpose.

Sometimes at night when he was asleep, hand on her bump, she'd feel the urge to wake him and shag him senseless. And then it would pass, and she'd be angry again for feeling that way. Why she was angry about feeling that way, she didn't know.

She'd be laying in the couch, head in his lap, holding one of the baby books as they talked, and she'd want to be doing everything but taking. Did it phase her that they were in the living room? Not one bit. She just wanted Remus, and was very tempted to simply take him on the couch.

Another reason she was angry was because her hair was completely blue now, but that didn't stop other colours from appearing. Some days, there'd be red mixed in with the blue. Others, green. Sometimes even pink appeared. It made her extremely frustrated to have no control over it.

Kingsley was doing everyday patrols again, and Tonks couldn't quite pinpoint it, but something about him seemed distant towards her. Perhaps without Alastor, the two of them simply had no familial bond.

As December's full moon approached, she began to plan. Somehow, she was afraid to approach the subject of their sexless marriage when Remus wasn't susceptible to the pull of the moon- and he was susceptible this month, because they only had enough ingredients for three days of Wolfsbane, because no one would sell to Sirius. She somehow found it easier to think about bringing it up right before the full moon- with less than forty eight hours until December's moon, she went upstairs and placed a Silencing Charm(Kingsley and Alastor's only rule after their marriage) on their room.

She showered, shaving her legs and applying the lotion that Remus had once mentioned he loved, spending a few minutes debating on whether or not she should wear a bra- deciding on it, because she felt a little self conscious about doing otherwise right now- and then pulling one of Remus' larger tshirts on.

She left the bathroom, sitting on the edge of the bed, waiting.

Her plan had been to reintroduce the idea of sex to their marriage, but unfortunately, she would be left wondering if that had been what led to the end of her marriage.

Remus entered the room, assuming she would be asleep considering how long she had been up there, but was a little surprised to see her sitting on the end of the bed, legs crossed at the ankle, a tshirt barely covering her upper thighs.

His sensitive sense of smell caught a whiff of vanilla lotion, the one she had been wearing the first night of their marriage. Quite frankly, he was sure it was what he would smell if he were subjected to a whiff of Amortentia. He wasn't sure what the other scents would be, but he was very sure this would be one.

"I thought you were tired." Remus said, and she shook her head, standing up.

"I'm sorry that I'm using the full moon against you." Tonks said, stepping towards him.

"What do you mean?" Remus asked, and he could tell she was nervous about something. She closed the distance between them, wrapping her arms around his neck, kissing him deeply. He pulled away. "Dora, I don't want to hurt you-"

"I need this." Tonks said, closing the gap between them again.

"Dora-"

"Remus, please." She murmured against his neck, pressing a kiss to one of the scars on his neck.

"I don't want to hurt you." Remus said, but his objections were crumbling with each kiss and he knew he wouldn't be able to continue voicing his hesitations if her hands wandered any lower.

She shushed him, and her hands wandered lower. He wrapped his arms around her hips, knowing he had definitely lost any chance to push away. He turned, setting her on her side of the bed. His hands moved up her thighs, pulling up the overly large tshirt she was wearing, up to her hips. She leaned forward, reaching for him, but he gently pushed her onto her back.

He trailed kisses up her thigh, and looped his fingers under the waist of her underwear, pulling them down, moving back only to get them out of the way.

She went to sit up, but Remus grabbed her legs again, spreading them. He kissed her thigh again, this time trailing higher, and heard her gasp quietly.

Remus felt it was too close to the moon, and didn't want to risk hurting her or losing control if she needed him to stop, so he tried to focus on only her.

The wolf side of him was extremely pleased to hear her breathless responses to his mouth, and unfortunately, he was beginning to feel the need to succumb to the wolf's desire.

"Oh, God..." She gasped, her hips bucking slightly in response to Remus' tongue. She was close, he knew it. However...

He pulled away from her, pushing her t-shirt up further, pressing kisses to her hip and slightly swollen abdomen.

"Remus... Please..." She gasped, sitting up slightly so he could pull the shirt over her head. He reached down, untying the string on the waistband of his pajamas, shoving his clothes out of the way.

He moved closer, pressing kisses to her breast and shoulder now, and she wrapped her legs around his waist.

The moment she did that, Remus succumbed, pushing into her. He heard her moan against his ear, which only encouraged the wolf.

There was something about her that was always so intoxicating to him, and her breath against his ear, her quiet moans and when she whispered his name... he was rendered powerless by the wolf, who recognised her as his. Any tiny percentage of control that he still maintained over the wolf right now was being used to ensure that she would finish first, and that this was for her and not for him. He reached his right hand down, trailing the tip of his finger gently along her abdomen and hip, lower, using two fingers to stroke her gently. He knew, by the way she moaned when his fingers made contact, this wouldn't be one of their longer experiences. Quite frankly, he loved when her orgasms were quick- he loved knowing he was able to cause such a reaction so quickly.

He realised he hadn't thought to put up a Silencing Charm, even though he'd realise it wasn't necessary because as always, she finished with a quiet cry of his name against his ear, her legs tightening around his hips involuntarily while her fingers dug into his back, forcing him over the edge.

He remained still for a moment, listening to her breath in his ear, before he pulled out of her and lay down next to her.

"I should be mad." Remus said, looking over at her, grinning at the sight of her disheveled hair and satisfied smile. "But, uh, I can't be."

Tonks turned her head to look at him, a brilliant smile lighting up her face. "Good."

He turned onto his side, stroking the side of her face slowly with his left hand. "So, how much of that was hormones, how much was because it's been a while?"

"I honestly don't know the answer for either of those." She said.

"Well, if you need my services again..."

She rolled onto her side, shifting closer to him. "Oh, you'll know if I do." She said, pulling the covers over them as he reached behind him to grab his wand and, with a quick flick of his wand, he extinguished the lights.

He wrapped an arm around her, pulling her closer to his chest. She wrapped an arm around him as well, and he rested his cheek against her hair- which was still stubbornly blue, he noticed.

"Dora?"

"Mm?"

"I wonder if this has anything to do with gender." He said, wrapping a curl around one of his fingers. "The baby's gender, I mean."

"I was hoping you meant that, because I was going to say I've had blue before, and I am most definitely a woman." She responded. "I've been thinking that too."

"There is that spell in the book that could tell us."

"I don't think I want to know. I want to be surprised."

"Then, we'll be surprised."

The next morning, she was up and out of bed before he was. He didn't feel very well, because of the lack of Wolfsbane. After Sirius admitted no one would sell the one ingredient they needed, they knew he'd be without Wolfsbane for this month. Possibly longer if they couldn't think of a way to get the ingredient. Sirius joked that he'd simply go and steal it, but Remus wondered if he was actually joking.

There was an Order meeting that morning, which lasted longer than expected. There was no war related news, so everyone just caught up. Ginny was due to be home within the next week, Charlie had arrived that morning for a few days, and Bill admitted Ron had been staying with him and Fleur, but had left after an argument.

Molly and Fleur were absolutely enthralled by the fact Tonks was now showing, so neither were very angry at Bill for Ron's departure. After all, it wouldn't be Bill's fault, anyway. Charlie made a casual remark that he had heard the news from Molly, who had made it sound like she wished she was Tonks' mother-in-law, because at least then she'd be getting a grandchild before she went grey. Even though it was clearly a joke, Remus suddenly felt jealous.

He had known that Tonks and Charlie had dated for two years during Hogwarts, because she had told him. He also knew she had been a virgin when they got married, but he was still jealous. For some strange reason, he felt threatened by Charlie. The redhead was younger than Remus, much healthier, and Remus couldn't help but feel like Tonks would be better off with him- just like Remus had insisted for most of the year before.

The feeling stayed with him all day, and all evening. He went upstairs before she did, showering and changing. He was reading when she entered, and he watched as she walked to the dresser to grab the tshirt she generally slept in.

"You said you had only ever been with me." Remus said, before really thinking. She paused in front of the dresser, turning to look at him.

"Sorry?"

"When we got married, you said you had only ever been with me."

Tonks frowned. "I wasn't lying, Remus. I've only ever been with you-"

"But you dated Charlie."

"Doesn't mean I shagged him!" Tonks said, sounding slightly offended. "Remus, you're the only man I've ever been with."

Later, Remus would feel terrible for it, because the wolf had recognised Tonks as its mate a long time ago and any threat to that- it made the wolf extremely jealous. He supposed that was why he said it, even though he was sure it wasn't how he truly felt at all. However, with no Wolfsbane controlling the wolf, and the full moon only a day away...

"Except for Rodolphus."

"Excuse me?" She demanded, a burning red appearing at the ends of her blue hair.

"I'm the only man you've been with, except for Rodolph-"

"Get out." She growled. He was sure if she had had her wand in her hand, she would have cursed him.

For some reason, that had made him angrier, and instead of defending himself, he got out of bed and left, slamming the bedroom door loudly. He avoided her the next day, staying in Sirius' room until he headed down the basement.

When the moon waned, and he began to feel better after he turned back, he realised what he had done.

Personally, if he was Tonks, he'd never forgive him for saying it. He wasn't sure he could forgive himself, anyway, so he did the only thing that seemed to make sense.

He slipped, silently, into their bedroom, grateful she was still asleep. He left a note with his wedding ring on the pillow next to her, waving his wand and watching as his clothes silently packed themselves.

And then he left. She'd be better off with someone who didn't say such horrible things.