'Night time slows, raindrops splash rainbows.
Perhaps someone you know, could sparkle and shine.
As daydreams slide to colour from shadow.
Picture the moonglow, that dazzles my eyes.
And I love you...
Just lying smiling in the dark,
Shooting stars around your heart,
Dreams come bouncing in your head,
Pure and simple everytime.'
"Pure - The Lightning Seeds"
Rose shivered, pulling the cover more tightly around her, as she rested her head back, staring at the clear sky and recalling doing the same thing with her dad. They would go up to the roof of their crumbling, ramshackle house, sit and study the wonders of the night sky, and listen to her dad tell her about the stars and the constellations. Tears formed in her eyes and slipped down her cheeks. Rose quickly wiped the tears away from her face, not wanting Sirius to see her crying.
She missed them so much, and hoped they were okay. To see them one more time would be so good. She wanted nothing more than to feel her mother's arms around her, hear her comforting voice tell her everything would be okay.
Or for herself, her mother and Carrie to be cozied up on the sofa, with steaming mugs of hot chocolate and watching a film. To be sat with her father as he painted, or for him to envelop her in a comforting hug and feel him ruffle her hair, call her his "June-Rose-in-bloom." She smiled...that had been his nick-name for her.
They had decided on naming her Rose from the moment she was born. It had been such a lovely, sunny day he had told her, and the roses in the garden were flowering when she came into the world. And as she had been born on the first day of June, her nick name had come into being. She loved him calling her that.
Her sister, Carrie would be sixteen now, she had only been twelve the last time they were together, and she remembered Carrie's distress at being told that they wouldn't see one another anymore. Rose loved being the big sister, and although they were as different in personality as they were in looks, they were close. Carrie was more quiet and reserved until she got to know people, and Rose knew her parents had been glad that Rose was around to keep an eye on her sister during her first year at Hogwarts.
Carrie had settled in really well, and even the horror of Voldemort's return had failed to dampen her enthusiasm at returning for her second year. But the moment that Dumbledore had given Rose the prophecy, Carrie's education at Hogwarts was ended, as well as her own. She had missed the opportunity of sharing sisterly moments with Carrie. Like help her with a difficult essay, borrow clothes and make-up, give her advice about relationships, and for Carrie to confide who she had a crush on...just some of the simple things that big sisters do for the younger one.
She had to try and push these thoughts and memories down again, to stop the sadness spilling out. She needed to focus on the present and try to enjoy the people that were in her life now. Like Sirius. He and the other Order members were her friends and second family now. She was sure that her parents and Carrie would like Sirius.
Sirius. He came to the fore in her thoughts now, her mind as mercurial as it ever was. She had been attracted to him from the start, but these feelings she had for him had grown in the time she had come to know him. They made her feel wonderful...he made her feel wonderful! She was certain there was something between them, and remembered being fourteen...the first time she'd felt the tingling thrill of attraction.
She'd had a huge crush on Jake Rice and was floating on air when he asked her out! That feeling is undefinable, but you never forget it. And she had experienced this feeling between herself and Sirius many times, stronger and more intense than any other time she'd felt it. But he seemed to back away from it, close himself down and avoid her.
She still could not help having lustful thoughts about him though! He had lovely blue eyes, and she shivered inwardly every time they fixed on her. He was so handsome, her stomach flipping over whenever he was near her, or she thought about him.
Yes, there were lines on his face, but she felt they added character. She loved his warm smile and how his eyes crinkled in the corners. His wavy, shoulder length, brown hair and beard. She wanted to run her hand through his hair, feel his beard brush against her lips and skin as he kissed her. To feel them on her neck and the rest of her body…..bloody hell, Rose, calm down! She shuddered as the desire flooded through her body.
Oh! She yelped inwardly at another thought. She loved it when he would have his shirt open slightly and you could catch a glimpse of the tattoos on his chest. She would love to unbutton the shirt further to get a closer look at them, trace her fingers across them, and the rest of his lithe, muscular body! She laughed to herself. You bad girl, she chided herself jokingly. Such naughty thoughts!
'Care to share the joke?' She started at the sound of his voice. 'Oh, er, nothing', she gabbled and blushed furiously. He smiled. 'Do you often laugh at nothing then?' She laughed, 'I'm losing the plot I think.' He leaned down and proffered the mug to her. 'Well drink this mademoiselle. It's the cure for all ills as you like to say.' She smiled at him and took the mug, shivering at the contact with his hand. 'Why thank you kind sir.'
Sirius eased himself down onto the pillow beside her and groaned. 'Ouch' he said, 'my poor joints. I'm getting old.' Rose nudged him in the arm, "Don't be silly, you're not old at all.' She laughed, 'I know what you're after. You're just fishing for compliments!' He smiled, 'Trust me, when you get to my age, you'll know what I mean! You're a young slip of a thing.'
She held her hand up, 'Ok, have it your way, but I don't agree. You're not old Sirius Black, not in my eyes. But if you insist you are, then I'll play along with you. How about, from now on I address you as "Old Dog"!' She laughed as he gave her a playful tap on her arm. 'Cheeky madam!' She laughed again. 'You love my cheek Sirius!' He laughed back at her, 'I do indeed!'
Oh I wish you'd love the rest of me, she thought, with an inward shudder of desire and an ache of longing. 'Come on,' he chided, 'drink up.' He pointed to her hot chocolate. 'I've slaved over a hot stove for hours you to make that!' She laughed, 'As if! I wasn't born yesterday you know!'
xox
'So, my lady, what are we going to do for your birthday? Twenty one exactly a week today!' He'd remembered! She'd never celebrated her last two birthday's, her nineteenth occurring less than a month after Voldemort's victory and the death of Harry. And last year had been the first anniverary of Harry's death. Sirius had struggled that first twelve months, dwelling in a very dark place. He was now only just beginning to come through the other side, though she knew he still had his dark moments of despair. She had wanted to keep things low key, It would have been insensitive to want to celebrate and she had never felt less like celebrating at the time. Everyhing had been too raw and painful, and even now with her milestone birthday looming, she still felt the time for celebrating wasn't right. But Sirius disagreed.
'We need to celebrate it. Your past two birthdays have been overshadowed by...other things.' She looked at him. 'By Voldemort destroying our world. And by remembering your wonderful and brave godson Harry. That was more important.' She saw the pain in his eyes and took his hand in hers, squeezing it in support. Sirius covered her hand with his other one. 'Thank you Rose. You have been a wonderful support to me the past few weeks. No, a wonderful support for the past two years. I don't know what I would have done without you. Sometimes it feels like it all happened yesterday, at others it feels like a lifetime ago.'
Rose watched him. His bright blue eyes containing a mixture of emotions in their depths, and her heart swelled with the feelings she felt when she was with him. She watched as he took control of his emotions. 'Now I've decided that we can't continue to put life on hold because of him, and this birthday is an important one...you will never be twenty-one again. We need to have some fun and celebrate something! Hasn't he ruined enough things in this world already?' She tried to discourage him, the thought of celebrating felt wrong. 'Sirius, it doesn't feel right, there's really no need. A quiet meal and a bottle of wine or two will be fine...' He shook his head. 'I'm insisting Rose, no arguments. You will celebrate this birthday in style!'
She smiled at his passion and vehemence. God, she loved him! 'So,' he said, 'I am going to arrange everything. You, mademoiselle will have the most amazing birthday ever...food, wine, decorations, music, guests, and of course, a huge chocolate cake! I know I'm not your family and I can't make up for them, but I'll do my best to give you the birthday they would want for you if they could be here...you deserve it.'
The gentleness of his last words, and the mention of her family broke the dam within her that had been holding a huge well of emotions for so long. She let out a huge sob and the tears began to pour down her cheek. She placed her head in her hands and tried to stem the flow of pain but could not. She felt Sirius' arms envelop her as the grief engulfed her. She felt him place his head against hers and heard his soft gentle whispers of comfort in her ear.
She surrendered herself to her sorrow and the sanctuary she felt in his closeness. She had no idea how long it took for her tears to subside, but eventually they began to recede.
'Shush. C'mon, that's it. You needed that,' he was whispering into her hair. He felt her begin to stir in his arms and loosened his hold on her. She raised her head, seeming calmer now.
'I'm sorry about that,' she said. 'It was just the mention of my family…I–I miss them s-so much.' Tears began to well in her eyes again. 'Shush,' he said. 'I'm the one who should apologise, not you. It was me who mentioned your family. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you.' She smiled through the tears. 'No, you've nothing to be sorry for,' she replied, 'You've done nothing wrong.'
He stroked her hair and smiled. 'I'm glad then. Glad that I could be here to comfort you and return the favour for all the times you've been there for me in my grief.' He couldn't stop himself from putting a hand to her face and wiping away the tears on her cheek. She shivered when his hand touched her face. 'Are you cold?'
He began to pull the blanket around her, and she looked at him so intently. He felt his heart constrict at the depth of feeling he saw in her eyes, and released his hold on her. 'No, I'm not cold Sirius,' she said. There was such stillness and calmness radiating from her…..and something else? He couldn't put a finger on what it was, but he felt if he touched her again, something unimaginable would happen. He felt charged with a nervous energy as she continued to look at him with such emotion.
He gasped in shock at the swiftness of her movement. When her lips came into contact with his, he felt as if a bolt of electricity had shot through him. Her arms were around his neck, her hands twining themselves in his hair. The shock made him put his hands to her head and pull her gently back. She looked at him, into him, still with that unfathomable emotion that made him shiver. 'Rose,' he said shakily. He didn't know how he could find the will to speak.
She put her thumb to his lips. 'Shush. Sirius, I want you to listen to me now, listen to everything I say.' Her hands cupped his face and he felt his heart stop. 'I love you Sirius Black. You are the most wonderful, the most kind, courageous, handsome, intelligent, sexy and amazing man I have ever known. I've been in love with you for so long and I can't hide it anymore. I don't want to go through this life one more day without telling you. We both know that anything could happen in this madness of a world we are living in, and I'd never forgive myself for not telling you. I don't care about the difference in our ages, I don't care what anyone else says. I love the bones of you and I want you to know it.'
She let out a huge breath. 'There, I've finally said it. I'm sorry if I've embarrassed you and if you don't feel the…' He silenced her with the force of his lips against hers.
xox
Her head rested on his shoulder as she stared heavenwards. She would never be as happy again as she was right now. He loved her! Her heart and body sang at the words. They had both spent the past few hours wrapped in each other's arms, talking and kissing, revelling in the happiness of the revelation of their feelings for one another.
She giggled and shivered with delight as his tongue gently teased her earlobe and then he began to gently nibble it with his teeth. She loved having her ears teased and touched. 'Mm,' she breathed as his mouth moved to her neck. After a while his lips moved back to her mouth and she moaned in pleasure. He broke the kiss and looked at her, smiling. 'Someone sounds happy!' She smiled back. 'Ecstatic is the word I'd use,' she said and nuzzled up even closer to him.
xox
Sweet Merlin! He gazed down at the woman in his arms. Dawn would break soon. This was the most amazing day of his life for a long time. She loved him! His heart was soaring, and he kept saying the words in his head to reassure himself it was real. This wonderful, beautiful woman loved him. What a night, what a world! He smiled to himself, and did not think he would ever stop smiling. He was in love! For these few precious hours it was just the two of them, and he wrapped his arms more tightly around her.