'We're living in a desperate time,
Our only hope is believing there's another side to all we've known.
The truth hidden before our eyes, a vision of a life beyond our view.
If only we can see it through.'
"The moment we come alive" - Red
Tuesday 6th June 2000
'Here's your food blood traitor. It's more than you deserve.' McNair flung the plate of food in Sirius' direction, spat on the floor and walked out, slamming the cell door shut.
Sirius gave a small, grim smile through the pain. McNair was deluded if he thought stale food and a surly demeanour was going to break him. He'd learnt how to survive thirteen years in Azkaban with the soul destroying presence of the Dementors.
It had been several days now since they had dragged him in here. They had had cast the minimal amount of healing spells to keep him alive. He was still weak physically. The food provided would barely keep a sparrow alive and was barely edible but he ate every morsel. He needed every bit of it to keep his energy up.
Mentally he was as recovered as he could be and he was starting to focus his mind on how he was going to survive the situation he was now in. They had already started to question him about the Order, its members and the other safe houses. He had shown resistance at first and let them inflict torture on him. He endured what pain he could from the curses.
He had then told them all he knew. Names, places, everything they needed to know. He smiled darkly. He'd even convinced himself with his performance. He'd soaked up the smug, exultant smirk on Lucius Malfoy's face and the excited, gleeful one of his cousin. He could see the triumphant thoughts behind their faces; how pleased their lord and master would be with them.
They had relished seeing his tears and the broken, defeated look on his face. He could tell by their reactions he had suitably convinced them. Now Voldemort would be planning an assault on the safe houses and the remaining Order Members, sending out his servants to destroy them.
Unfortunately he will be sorely disappointed, Sirius thought with grim satisfaction. He knew, as Voldemort did not, that a warning would have gone out to the other Order members the moment he and Rose had been taken. The locations he had given to Lucius and Bella would be, for Voldemort, empty and fruitless.
He knew once this was discovered, they would return to torture him for more information. It was information that he could not give them. Each Order member had formulated a back- up plan and had another safe house that only they knew the existence of. He had bought himself some more time to recover his physical strength.
He was glad Harry had the wisdom to persuade him to build bridges with those whom he had once abused and neglected. Their loyalty and assistance would now prove invaluable to him if he was to escape from here and have any chance of rescuing Rose. He needed to conserve and regain his strength to be able to do this.
He quenched his thirst with a goblet of water and stuffed down the food they had provided. He allowed himself some precious time to think about Rose whilst he ate. He knew after this he would have to lock her away in the part of his mind they could not touch.
He gave thanks to the heavens that he had thought to cast the spell on Rose before Voldemort's arrival. He was certain it had worked. He had cast furtive glances at Rose and had glimpsed looks of confusion on her face. She had cast confused glances at him and he had seen her screwing up her face in concentration, as if she was trying to recall something that was just beyond her grasp.
He was so glad he had taken the trouble to learn wandless magic. It had come in handy many times in his life. He smiled grimly. The thirteen years he had spent in Azkaban and the skills he'd had to learn to survive were bearing fruit now.
She would now hopefully have no recollection of the blossoming relationship between them. It was for the best. She was young and did not yet possess the skills to fight off Voldemort's talent at legilimency. Her emotions and memories would have been laid bare for Voldemort to pick through like a vulture. He had saved Rose from more emotional torture than she was already going to have to face.
His heart constricted at the thought of her. No matter how many times he cursed himself for surrendering to his love for her, he did not regret it and knew he would do the same again, should fate give him the opportunity to go back and change his actions. He did blame himself for becoming complacent about the threat of Voldemort though.
Rose had been adamant about not wanting a party, but he had insisted. He'd wanted to make her happy. If he had not been so wrapped up in making plans, maybe he or one of the other Order members would have noticed that Alvin Muggleton was not his usual self, that something had been amiss. He couldn't be angry at Alvin's betrayal. The man was protecting his daughter.
He hoped Rose was coping. The thought of Voldemort laying even a finger on her sickened him to his core. But he knew the reality was much worse and that was why he must lock her away deep inside him and not think on it. Bella had informed him how his life had been spared. She'd revelled in every detail of how the 'filthy mudblood bitch' had grovelled on her knees before Voldemort and begged and pleaded.
Bella did not get the reaction from him she had wanted and so had fired a curse at him, screeched about how much of a blood traitor he was and how she was disgusted to be related to him. He could not resist telling her the feeling was mutual and had received another curse for his trouble.
Sirius looked up through the window of his cell and watched the darkness of night taking control of the sky. Sweet Merlin, give me strength to endure this night and find a way to kill the bastard. Keep her safe and give her the strength to endure the darkness of Voldemort. He sighed and focused on locking Rose deep within him.