"Shit. Do you realize that's only the second time I've ever said those words out loud?" Ethan says, referring to his revelation that he's gay. "I've known for a while, but I've never gathered enough courage to tell anyone besides the guy who I like." He leans back in his chair and looks up at the ceiling. "I'm sure this is a shock for you."
"A little bit. I sensed something was going on with you, but I had no idea what it was. You've...um...had relationships with girls."
"Deep down, I've always known that I was gay, but I grew up in a home where my parents expected me to marry a woman from a wealthy family, thus allowing us to become the next big power couple. So, I dated girls who my parents adored even though I felt nothing for them. I thought as long as at least acted like I was making an effort, I would be ok." Ethan and Kate's parents have always been nice and welcoming to me, but they have always been too demanding on their children. "Do you remember Megan who I dated last year?"
"She was the pre-med student right?"
"That's her. The two of us went to a party at one of her friend's homes one night, and I found myself sitting on the patio alone while she mingled with her pals. I was so close to getting up and leaving, but just as I did, this guy came up. Max.", he recalls fondly. "After he sat down in the chair across from me, we started talking about ourselves, life, everything." Ethan's voice is sincere and filled with joy while talking about Max. "I had never had such an easy flowing conversation with anyone before. It just felt right. Halfway through, Max flashed this smile at me. It sent bolts of electricity throughout my body."
"You were attracted to him.", I state with an understanding smile.
"I was very attracted to him. Megan ended up finding me out on the patio when she was ready to leave. I felt like there was still so much that I wanted to talk about with Max, but I left anyway. A few days later, I was on my way into Starbucks when I heard my name being yelled. Turning around, I saw Max sitting at one of the tables. I joined him, and we ended up having a repeat of that night. We ended up exchanging numbers to meet up again. It was during our third meeting that he told me that he was gay and was attracted to me. I wasn't at all freaked out because I was beginning to feel the same way. One afternoon, we were hanging out at his place when I finally told him that I liked him too. We ended up sharing a kiss unlike any other that I've ever experienced. A few more kisses followed until I told him that I couldn't be with him. The look on his face still haunts me. His family knows that he's gay and accepts it. The way he describes them makes me envious. He told me that I was nothing but a coward. I almost came close to stepping after Megan and I broke up. I had already made the decision to delay graduate school so I thought why not tell them both of my bombshells at the same time. I told them about graduate school at first. My dad went ballistic. He was pissed."
"I knew Kate said that your mom was ok with the idea, but your dad was starting to get antsy about it."
"Kate has been told an abridged version of events by mom. My mom tries to keep the peace in the family. Still, she's Team Dad all the way. After my dad made the comment that he was disappointed in me, I chose to not tell them the other news. When I got back to my apartment, Max called and asked how it went since I had called him before I went over to let him know that I was finally going to do it. I had to tell him that I chickened out, and then I had to hear him tell me that he couldn't continue the charade of being just my friend. He wanted us to go out and have dates like normal couples, but I couldn't give that to him. I couldn't be brave enough..." His words are cut off by the falling of his tears. I scoot my chair back and move over to him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders from behind.
"It's ok. Ethan, I know this decision is yours and yours only, but you deserve happiness as much as anyone else. If being with Max is what makes you happy, go for it. I understand your hesitancy to tell your parents. They may be shocked and need to process everything, but they love you."
"I miss him.", he says with a drawn out sigh. "I thought traveling would help me miss him less and eventually get over him, but if anything, I miss him more. When I was out last night, I saw one of his friends, Stacy, who told me that Max has been down in the dumps lately. She didn't come out and say that she knows about us, but she told me that I need to go and see him."
"So go. See him. Be happy." I move my arms and seat down in the seat next to him. "One thing that kept me from taking a chance with Christian was fear. I was afraid that I would end up in a repeat of what happened with Bryant. Thanks to Kate's friendship and Christian's relentless pursuit, I saw that fear gets you no where."
"Thank you for listening and not judging."
"I'll never judge you.", I tell him truthfully. "I'm always here."
After helping Ethan clean up after dinner, I head back to my room to do some more work on my article while he watches a movie. Christian texted this afternoon letting me know that he had arrived in Boston and said that he would call me before going to bed, but with it getting late, I'm becoming doubtful. As I'm looking over the list off of authors scheduled for the book fair, my phone begins ringing from its spot on my bedside table. I slowly walk over to pick it up and immediately smile when I see that it's Christian.
"Hey.", he says.
"Hi. I didn't think you were going to call." Sitting down on the bed, I glance at the clock and see that it's already nine, meaning midnight for him.
"I told you that I'd call. Are you not glad that I called?"
"It's not that I'm not happy to hear your voice. I just didn't want you to have to stay up late just so you could call me. You could have waited until the morning."
"I actually haven't been in my hotel room very long due to the fact that my meeting ran late and then was followed by a late dinner. Besides, I couldn't even attempt to go to sleep until I heard your voice."
"Now you're hearing it.", I tease. A warmth sweeps across my body.
"I've got a confession. I was in the middle of my meeting and bored out of my fucking mind when the vision of you being all sweaty popped in my head."
"You're kidding."
"I'm being serious. It was the only thing that got me through the meeting. I'm sure everyone in the room was wondering why I was grinning like a mad man. What have you been up to?", he asks.
"I've been doing research for the book fair that I'm covering this coming weekend."
"I understand how you serious you take your work, but please tell me that you've made time to eat.", he says.
"Ethan made dinner for us.", I reply as I sense a jealous Christian on the horizon.
"It was nice of him to cook for you and Kate."
"Kate went out with Elliot so it was just me and Ethan." Silence. Finally, I hear him take a deep breath.
"How cozy.", he mutters.
"Don't do this especially with you being on the other side of the country."
"Maybe it's because I'm on the other side of the country that Ethan asked you to have dinner with him. Was it a candle lit dinner with romantic music?" I can feel my face redden in anger as he continues his jealous rambling. Don't you think it's convenient?"
"No.", I hiss. "I think it was a friend wanting to enjoy my company. If you're going to continue with this, I'm going to hang up and do more important things like stare at the wall."
"I'm starting to get a little sleepy so I'm going to hang up and get to bed."
"Fine."
"Goodnight.", he says, hanging up before I even have a chance to respond. He would feel better about Ethan if he knew the truth, but I refuse to tell Ethan's secret to anyone.
"What's going on with you?", Kate asks while we're sitting in the break room at work the afternoon.
"I'm just tired.", I shrug.
"Tired from staying up late on the phone with Christian." My right hand slams my coffee cup on to the table so hard that a few drops of my coffee spill. "Clearly that's a sign that I've hit a nerve."
"Kate, you can ask me about anything. You can ask my thoughts on the weather, Mariners baseball, that new lipstick you're wearing, but don't ask me about Christian Grey. Asking me about him would require me to talk about him which is something I have no interest in doing."
"I'm sorry. I won't bring up his name. Now then, have you noticed how Ethan's acting different? I get that he needs some time before going back to school, but I sense there's something else going on with him. Has he said anything to you?" Again, I refuse to tell Ethan's secret.
"I'm sure Ethan will talk to you when feels the time is right." I instantly regret my choice of wording as Kate's brows lift. "I mean if there's something he wants to talk about." Thankfully Daniel and Audrey come into the room before Kate has a chance to ask me more questions.
"Guys, I've got some good and bad news.", Daniel tells us.
"What?", I ask.
"I may have accidentally overheard a conversation between some of the magazine's senior staff members."
"Meaning you were eavesdropping.", Kate murmurs over his coffee.
"Not at all. I was simply on my way to do a review of that new Italian place a few blocks away when I saw some of the editors grouped together. They couldn't see me because of the large plant I was standing behind."
"Yeah...he was totally eavesdropping.", Audrey laughs. "But he did hear some interesting news. Go on and tell them."
"Although the magazine is doing well, it seems they feel more could be done to bring readers in so they're going to start team up with an advertising firm to help get the word out in print, on the radio, tv, you name it."
"Cool.", I say. Daniel and Audrey trade knowing glances with each other before looking at me. "What's the bad news?"
"It seems they've hired McGregor Advertising to take on the task."
"There has to be more than one McGregor Adversting firm in Seattle.", Kate says, realizing the same thing which has me sitting in utter shock. McGregor Advertising is where Bryant and Rachel work.
"I wish. Ana, I'm sorry. For what it's worth, I doubt you'll have to see Bryant or what's her name. They'll probably have someone else handle the account.", Audrey tell me. "And even if one of them does end up with it, the chances of you seeing them are slim."
"I could care less about who they hired.", I insist. "I should get back to my desk."
Memories of last night's phone call with Christian coupled with the advertising news officially made my day shitty. Never have I been so happy for the clock to strike five so I could get home.
"Elliot's going out with friends tonight which made me think you and I should do the same.", Kate says while I'm grabbing a handful of grapes from the fridge. "Ethan's already agreed to go with us."
"I'd actually rather stay home, but you and Ethan should go ahead."
"Ana, I know you told me not to bring up Christian."
"So don't." I shut the fridge door and grab my mail from the table. "Why do you have to be so nosey?"
"Because I care.", she giggles.
"Fine. I told Christian about Ethan cooking us dinner last night, and he got mad. He thought Ethan was trying to put the moves on me."
"Does he not think a guy and girl can be just friends?"
"I've told him there's nothing going on, and even though he acts fine for a bit, he eventually goes back to being jealous. I can't keep doing the back and forth thing. He doesn't trust me."
"I warned him that I would use my martial arts training on him, but the bastard just wouldn't listen.", she sighs. I start laughing at the memory of her trying to scare Christian when he picked me up for our first official date. "As long as I don't break a nail, I'll do whatever I can to show him that I mean business." I move next to her and pat her on the back.
"I appreciate that, but it's not necessary."
"Have you talked to him today?"
"No. I started to text him earlier, but I'm sure he's busy with meetings and all." I guess I could have been the bigger person and contacted him today.
"Maybe he's thinking the same about you. Why don't you at least call him?", she suggests. "Then you're coming out with us, and that's an order."
"All right. All right. I'll call him and get dressed.", I groan as she smiles and goes to her bedroom.
On my way to my bedroom, I see that Ethan's standing in the living room with a sorrowful look on his face. I instantly know that he heard my conversation with Kate.
"I'm sorry that Christian got upset. I had no idea having dinner would set him off.", he apologizes.
"It's not your fault. He's been like that since the day you arrived in town and came to the office."
"Ah. Yeah, he walked at the same time I was hugging you." He glances to Kate's closed door to make sure that she doesn't hear him. "If it'll help make things easier, I can tell him the truth...about me."
"Ethan, you shouldn't have to come out to Christian just to help make him feel better. Besides, I thought you were going to talk your parents." Before Kate woke up this morning, Ethan was sitting at the kitchen table and told me of the decision he made to go over to his parents' on Friday evening so he could tell them that he's gay. He's determined to not back out like he did before and plans to see Max on Saturday for his birthday.
"I am."
"Don't worry about Christian. I'm going to call him and explain once again that he has no reason to be jealous. If he can't handle it, then maybe we're not meant to be."
"He'd be a fool to let you go. I'm going to take a quick shower. Are you coming out with me and Kate?"
"Yep. She finally convinced me. I'll see you soon."
Closing my bedroom door, I pick up my phone and stare at it for several seconds before dialing Christian's number. I balance the phone against my ear and go into the closet for something to wear. By the fourth ring, I sense that he's not going to answer. The call ends up going to voicemail.
"This is Grey. Leave a message.."
"It's me. I don't know if you're busy or purposely avoiding me, but we really need to talk. Call me if you agree. Bye." I set the phone down and stare at it once more. Nothing. "Oh well.", I mumble to myself before grabbing a maroon dress and black knee-length boots. I'm standing in just my bra and panties when I hear loud voices coming from the living room.
"If you're here to make her feel even worse than you already have, then you can leave now.", Kate says.
"I just want to talk to her.", Christian counters. Wait. Christian? He's here. I hurriedly grab my pink velour robe and throw it on.
Kate's standing in front of the door when I walk into the living room. Her arms are blocking Christian from walking into the apartment. She shifts slightly, allowing me to see a glimpse of his tired eyes. Before I'm able to say a word, Ethan steps out of the bathroom in just a pair of jeans.
"What's going on in here?", he asks. When Kate moves from the doorway, I see Christian's eyes go to Ethan and then to me. His fists clench while his jaw tightens.
"Perhaps I should ask you two the same.", Christian snaps, waving his hand at me and Ethan.
"Kate, let him in.", I sigh. "This isn't what it looks like."
"Hmm, you're half-dressed along with Ethan, the guy who you claim is just a friend. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what's going on. You made me feel like such a fool."
"Dude, the only person to blame for making you into a fool is you.", Ethan says. "Not me and definitely not Ana."
"How long have you been fucking her?" Seeing the fury in Christian's eyes deepen, I rush in between him and Ethan as Kate does the same. We're both serving as a barricade.
"Christian, let's go and talk.", I tell him, but he continues to stand in his spot.
"As Ana has told you, we're just friends. I don't know what I would do without her.", Elliot says.
"Screw some other girl?", Christian asks.
"Girls aren't really my thing. You see Christian, I'm gay." A stunned Kate turns her attention fully on her brother.
"What?"
"Kate, I'm gay.", he repeats through tears. "This isn't how I wanted you find out, but it seems fate has other plans." Christian looks as if he's just been slapped across the face by Ethan's words. I grasp Ethan's hand for a second, mouthing I'm sorry to him.
"You come with me now.", I snarl at Christian while stomping to my bedroom. He remains standing in front of Ethan as if he's going to say something, but he slowly moves past him and towards me.
"Ana, I didn't know. I thought that you..and..him..", he stammers as he runs his hands through his hair in frustration. I shoot him a disbelieving glare while standing on the opposite side of the room from him.
"You thought I was lying even though I told you nothing was going on. I've been cheated on, and it's one of the worst feelings in the world. Do you think so little of me that I would put you through that?"
"I should have believed you."
"You're damn right you should have. You should have trusted me, but you didn't.", I sigh. "You're still getting used to the whole relationship thing, but one of the key things is trust. Without it, you have nothing. What if I would have not trusted you? What if I didn't believe you when you said that you didn't need a submissive?"
"It's true. I've told you that I don't want or need a sub. I just want you."
"And I trusted you when you said that. Why couldn't you have done the same?"
"I fucked up, but we can work through this. You'll see. We'll be ok."
"I'm not so sure."
A/N: So it seems there's a bump for our couple, but as many of you know, I'm a HEA hearts and flowers girl. Sometimes you need to fall before you can fly. Also, there will be no cheating whatsoever since that's not my style either. Thank you all for reading.