2 Song Suggestions Today!
Maven POV
Queue: Go Insane by Fleetwood Mac
-Are you afraid Maven? I am.
-I'm afraid of failing. I'm afraid of letting this opportunity pass us by. And I'm afraid of what happens if nothing in this world ever changes.
-Every happiness to you, Lady Mareena. I can see this one suits you. Mark my words.
-Marked
-I won't let them hurt you. You have my word.
-He doesn't like to lose. And neither do I. I won't lose you, Mare. I won't.
-You'll never lose me.
-I dreamed you were here.
-Every second.
It was always better to be heartbroken. The pain makes you stronger. Love makes you weak.
Love makes you weak.
Love makes you weak.
Love makes you weak.
It's been weeks since I've seen her. Since that day I lost her in the crowd of Ceasar Square.
I'll get her back. I have to. She'll come back. She has to...eventually. She won't be able to resist. I'll make it happen. Somehow. I have the crown. I've taken the light from the golden boy. I ended a century old war. I got her back once. I can do it again.
They're together, I know that much.
Together.
She's with him.
He's with her.
The thought turns my stomach, my anger threatens to catch on fire.
Control.
Control.
Control.
I push the vision from my thoughts. But I can never truly stop thinking about her. Every action, every decision I make, I can't help but wonder:
What does she think of all this?
Where is she right now?
What is she doing?
How is she doing?
Does she think of me like I think of her?
Who is she with?
STOP!
Don't do this. Not again.
Push her away. Focus on the hate.
Fight it.
Fight it.
Get her out.
Get her out.
Get. Her. OUT.
"No," I look up and there she is again.
"Mother."
"Remember what she did to you Maven." She stands in the corner. Since Mare left with the Scarlet Guard, my mind conjures up my mother. And I'm forced to do nothing but listen to her whispers once more. And it terrifies me. This time she stands in the corner of my bedroom. Her ash-blond hair is in a bun and she wears a navy-blue uniform and worn boots. The same thing she wore on the day she died.
"Let her fuel your fire but not control it. Think of her betrayal to you, she chose the weaker prince over you. You showed her kindness when she didn't deserve it. You offered her redemption and she spits in your face."
"I will get her back," I tell her.
"I have no doubt your ability to do so, my boy." She smiles, but she is cold in the action. "But you do know what you have to do. Show her the mercy she showed you and kill when she's in your sight."
"You know I can't. I need her by my side."
"No, you don't. And who says you have to kill her. She's killed dozens maybe a hundred silvers. I'm sure there are plenty who would like to do it for you. No need to get your hands dirty."
"My hands are already dirty!" I shout. "Because of you, because of what you did to me! You are the reason I can't let her go, so don't you dare think me weak because you weren't strong enough to take her away."
Suddenly she appears behind me and I whirl around to meet her disapproving gaze. "How dare you," she says. "Since the day you were born, I have done nothing but love you. I taught you to walk, to speak. I did what was necessary for you to meet your full potential. From the very moment I laid eyes on you, I knew you would become a great king. One to even rival Caesar. But you should have followed your own advice. You should have hidden your heart. But instead you let her crawl into your mind and by the time I tried to stop it, it was too late. You have only yourself to blame."
"You're just like her. You've manipulated your way into my head, but the only difference is she's smarter. She doesn't need to be a whisper to do it." Her hand lands on my cheek with a smack. I shouldn't feel it, she's just a figure of my imagination. Even though I know there is none, I go to the mirror in the bathroom to look for a mark. There isn't.
Mother appears in the reflection, a few steps away. "And yet I'm here anyway. You love her anyway. You have a hard time letting us go."
I stare at her and for moment I try to hate her, but I know she's right. Eventually I can't meet her eyes and I turn on the water to the sink and rinse my face off. I let it cool me, I attempt to wash away all of my frustration, stress, my anger, my sorrow, and the blood of both colors. When I pat down my face with a towel, I look up and she's gone.
Queue: Madness by Ruelle
It's nearly two in the morning now, and I sigh at the thought. I tell myself that if I go to bed now I might be able to squeeze in four hours of sleep. I make my way to the closet for my night clothes. But as I do I feel a new sense of warmth from admitting from the room. From someone.
For I moment I think it may be Iris, but immediately dismiss the idea. She keeps to her chambers and I keep to mine. We've never been truly been alone together. Even when discussing in my study her father was always by her side. And she's barely spoken to anyone since he was killed. But if it's not her, then who would…
"Maven."
That's impossible.
She would never come back like this. Not this way. Unless…
"Finally come back to kill me." It's not a question. I turn to see her standing near the balcony doors. Probably to make a quick getaway. But how, I'm not sure, considering this room is about a hundred feet from the ground. How did she get in here? "You know all I have to do is call for the guards."
"Then why don't you?" She raises her chin.
"Call it a curiosity."
I take a few careful steps closer, but Mare is still about ten feet away. As I do, I notice a number of things. She looks healthier than the last time I saw her. Her skin has now returned to its normal tan instead of the sickening yellow from the lack of sun exposure. In fact, she definitely seems more tan. So she's probably spending most of her time outside. And she seems more muscular, training hard. Maybe too hard. The shadows under her eyes nearly match mine, and the black short-sleeved shirt she wears reveals faded bruises on her arms. She been running herself ragged, and who knows what she sees in me. She examines me as I do her.
Mare straightens her spine and walks toward me, stopping an arms length away. "I'm not here to kill you Maven."
I raise an eyebrow, intrigued, "Really, than why are you here?" I take another daring step. But she doesn't flinch. If she scared, she doesn't show it. If fact, she doesn't seem to mind at all. Instead of receiving her usual look of disgust and hatred, she says something I don't expect.
"We have a common enemy."
"Really?" Now I'm she has my attention and she knows it. "Which enemy?"
She gives me that mischievous smile, that both annoys and warms me. "The fact you even have to specify. No, I'm talking about the Rift. And of your grandmother, Queen Anabel. She means to replace you with Cal. And in exchange she gives her support Volo Samos and legitimizes the Rift as an independent nation."
I do my best to swallow the fear creeping up my throat but I'm sure Mare catches the blood draining from my face. I try to play it off and I purse my lips. "I had suspected her loyalties were not with me. After all, she avoided court the entire time my mother was queen."
I'm her grandson as well as him. I guess Cal was the favorite, even to her.
"Why did you come all this way to tell me? To gloat?"
"I'm here because we need each other's help."
Mare turns and walks to the love seat on the opposite side of the room. Farther from the unlocked balcony. But she doesn't let her guard down. She elects to sit on of the arms rather than the actual cushion. So she can jump up and run if need be.
"Samos only agreed on one condition: a marital alliance."
"Ah, I see. Evangeline marries Cal and you're left to be nothing more than a mistress. A King's whore. And you need my help to stop the wedding."
"No what I need is for him is to not to take the crown at all. After all, you were the one who pointed out he would make an even worse king. And much as it annoys me to say it, you were right. I was there when he was offered the throne. He had no idea. And if it's taken him until they told him, instead of figuring it out by himself, then can you imagine what would happen? You and I both know how easily he can be manipulated. My people would continue to be oppressed, and nothing would change. But you...you are the one with a spine. I;m here to offer you with an alliance of my own. The Scarlet Guard only really cares about equality. And we know the Rift and Anabel won't give it to us."
I walk to her and take a seat. I have to look up to her. "And what makes you think I can help with your little conundrum? You know they are well out of my reach."
She gives me a wider grin, pulling back the scars on her neck. The scars I gave her.
"We both know you're on the losing side of this war. Especially since your father-in-law's untimely death. It might take some time but it will not end your favor. Face it you're drowning, it's quite ironic when you think about. But that's besides the point. A new government will come into place. But I've recently become close friends with a government leader in his own right. One with a proposal."
"The leader of Monfort." She gives a curt nod.
"Reds get true freedom. But I know the other Silvers, noble and common won't be happy if their new leader is a red. We suggest a Constitutional Monarchy. You would still be king, royal silver blood passed on for centuries, but a parliament will be added to the system. I would consist of ninety-nine members. Thirty-three members of red, newblood, and silver. They will be voted into power. And every man and woman will be entitled to a vote after reaching the age of eighteen. For example, they will be in charge of creating laws. You will be the one to approve them and can even propose a law of your own. However, the parliament be able to overrule you if seventy members agree to it. You still choose your own advisors but they would go through an approval process."
"It sounds like you'll be taking away quite a bit of power from the crown."
"Yes, but it will also take away some of the blame. Everytime something goes wrong in the country, you blame the Scarlet Guard, but only the foolish ones believe you. The smart ones, the ones that have rebelled and those who have yet to rebel-and they will-know it is you who is screwing up. A sword is hanging over your head, Maven. At least this way, when something goes wrong you can blame it on Parliament."
I know they don't teach histories in red school like I've learned. There are are records of ancient nations that had something similar to what Mare is speaking of. These types of governments lasted for centuries before ultimately falling. But then again, if I do agree when it does fall centuries from now, it won't be my fault.
She says this all so nonchalantly it's like we would be talking about the weather. Like its the simplest answer in the world. Mare is clever and sneaky and perceptive but she has no knack for the political. This idea is too complex. It has to come from the head of Monfort, whoever they may be.
I look into her eyes but all I see is honesty. But I need to be sure.
"And what about Cal? Where does this leave him?"
She answers without a hint of hesitation or remorse. "You allow him to live, publically pardoning him. In exchange we'll make him abdicate his claim to the throne. Cal is a strategist at heart. We'll make him see this is the only way. The rebellious Houses still support him. We make him to use that to get them to agree this new system. In Parliament, every section has a Chief Seat. A person that speaks on the behalf of that section. You give Cal this. Everyone wins."
I catch the way she talks about him. She uses words like make, and her face hardens every time she speaks his name.
So they're not together, at least not anymore. I store this away for later.
"And where are you in all of this?" I ask.
"I'll be one of your advisors."
"What?" I have no time to hide my surprise.
"Well someone has to keep you in line." And then her face softens and she looks down, not meeting my eyes. "It was my idea. I knew it would be the only way to get you to agree." Then she looks back to me. "I will be by your side everyday, but I will be able to come and go as I please."
Another comprise.
"You would do that?"
"To end this, once and for all. For my people. For my brother." Her voice trembles at the mention of her brother. This I know for sure is not faked. "There's nothing I wouldn't do."
And for the first time, I see her. I see what's she's become. Mare, this annoyingly defiant, strong willed person is beginning to break. I see the cracks in her mask like she sees the ones in mine. There is no two people more alike like the two of us. She hates me and hates everything I've done, but she would whether spend everyday of her life by me than see her everyone she loves suffer another minute.
My mind-the part my mother controls-tells to yell for the guards. But dread draws over me. She's right. I am drowning. After Orrec's deth, the Lakelander alliance has become damaged. Iris's sister is facing more opposition by the Guard and they do not favor sending half their army to Norta. I'll last at least a year, give or take.
I want to hate Mare, now more than ever. Like I want so much to hate my mother. To cast her aside and forget and move on.
But as Mare sits before me, sacrificing herself...I can only love her more for it. Mare is free. She's the person I wish I had the strength to be.
And if I can't be that person, than I'll settle for the next best thing.
"So how do we do this?"
Mare moves from the arm of the loveseat and sits next to me on the cushion.
"We're going to let them kill each other."
ANALYSIS
Man I hope I did this justice. First things first: Why this Song Choice?
The titles are pretty self explanatory. This is Maven's POV after all. But for the first song, I chose Go Insane by Fleetwood Mac, not because it's one of my favorite but for the tempo as well. As Maven continue to think of Mare his mind becomes more jumbled and the song becomes more erratic and it speeds up. And when the lyrics "she's a lot like you" is Maven comparing his mother two his obsession with Mare. Maven thinks of his obsession of Mare is similar to to the way Elara forced her way into his mind his whole life. He believes he could think clearly and function normally, if it weren't for Elara and his obsession. In King's Cage he even calls Mare a poison he refuses to get rid of.
Making a Elara a figment of his imagination was a last minute decision. I wanted to show just how unhinged Maven is. We know because of Elane how much he fights his obsession. We know Elara tried to get of his feeling for Mare but it only backfired. So he lashes out at her.
As for the proposition, Mare delivered. Davidson did give her this bases for a potential government. But of course, this isn't the government they have laid out. There is another government that he plans on implementing. It will different from what Monfort has but is well thought out.
As for when Mare finally sits side by side next to Maven. This is not her expressing any feelings for him. My Mareven fans, you're just going to have to wait. All good things come with time. Remember I want this to be as realistic to the book as possible. When she sits next to him, it's just because she's confident Maven won't try to make his prisoner again.
Remember in the famous bathtub scene, Maven tells Mare he doesn't want to keep her prisoner and watch her waste away. He's just wants her to by his side. Which is why her becoming his advisor for life seals the deal.