The doctor looked up when she heard the doors to the medbay hiss open quickly. Hardly expecting Morinth's form to stride in with an uncharacteristic jaunt. The Asari clearly had something on her mind, determined to discuss it but likewise angry at herself for now knowing the best way to broach the subject in question.
"And a good afternoon to you as well Morinth." Karin Chakwas said with a snark in her otherwise prim dulcet tones. She knew the small talk would give the other woman some time to collect her thoughts.
"Hey! What the shit!" Joker exclaimed from the examination table, "Little privacy here!"
"Actually I need to discuss something with you both." Morinth admitted eventually, ignoring Joker's outburst.
"I think anything less then 'The ship is being overrun with Collectors!' can wait until I have my pants back on." Joker had been in the middle of a routine checkup when Morinth burst in. Which is why he found himself wearing little more than a pair of boxers.
"Relax lieutenant," Chakwas chided him in a joking motherly tone, "You're not showing us anything either one of us has not already seen." She deactivated her medical omni-tool before adding, "If it makes you feel better your examination is complete so you're free to get dressed once again."
"Yes, better, much better." Joker grumbled as he began to reach for his pants.
"So tell me." Chakwas then turned towards Morinth, "What's so important that you need to bust in here specifically during Joker's examination."
"Yeah, sorry about that." Morinth was clearly not sorry, "I figured this was the best way to catch the two of you."
"If you're looking for some kinda threeway I'm out." Joker shot back instantly.
"Shockingly I'm not interested in sex all the time, Joker. But it's nice to see you include the good doctor in your sexual fetish. Next time I'll keep in mind how much you like older women." Morinth's smile grew playfully while she watched Joker squirm in response, "The real reason for my visit is simple. Out of everyone on this ship the two of you have known Shepard the longest."
"You'd hardly think it from the way the Commander actively tries to avoid her scheduled check ups." Karin joked, clearly unphased by the earlier crude comments. A marine doctor like her was used to far worse. "Honestly given her unique circumstances, she more than anyone else needs to keep a close eye on her medical condition."
"That's part of what I wanted to talk about." Morinth said, "Have either of you noticed something off about Shepard recently?"
"If we're speaking medically there's nothing wrong with her." Chakwas said calmly, "Anything beyond that falls under patient confidentiality."
"Yeah Shepard's always been an angry badass." Joker added, "From what I've seen of her cam feeds, she's just as hardcore as she's ever been."
"I'm not talking about her medical health," Morinth said then turned to Joker, "Nor am I concerned about her mission performance. I'm asking, as her friends, have either of you sensed anything wrong with Shepard the person?"
"Clearly you have if you see fit to bring it to our attention." Chakwas intoned slightly accusatory, "What exactly are you getting at?"
"I'm not sure, but I'm guessing she's taken an issue with her scars." Morinth explained.
"Why should she?" Joker laughed, "Those things make her look even more badass."
"They make her look inhuman." Chakwas retorted. Her sudden harsh tone cause both Morinth and Joker to turn towards her silently. "It's a matter we've discussed many times, and every time she insists that it's fine. The scars are merely cosmetic therefore not something she wishes to waste any time or resources on when there are more pressing concerns."
"Well she's lying then, she's clearly not fine." Morinth replied without hesitation, "She's been trying to hide her scars when she thinks she can get away with it. Trying to face people with only her right profile where the scars are slightly less prominent. Those scars, or whatever they represent, bother her a great deal. Whatever she's holding onto is not good for her."
"I agree." Chakwas said simply, Morinth clearly wasn't expecting that, "Or more specifically, Yeoman Chambers agrees, and I concur with her assessment."
"Wait, don't tell me you think Shepard's going crazy!" Joker blurted out, then after a beat he added, "I mean the bad crazy." Joker looked back to Morinth for a moment before adding another addendum, "I mean the bad crazy that we don't want ... Actually you know what forget it, you know what I mean."
"I'm not saying our Commander is crazy Joker." Karin sighed, "As a doctor I can say no more, but as her friend I know she's struggling."
"Of course she's struggling. She died." Morinth said bluntly. It was intentionally crude on her part, meant to emphasize the importance of her point. Clearly it had the desired effect on Joker, who bristled at the comment but remained silent. Chakwas, on the other hand, recognized it for what it was and refused to rise to the bait.
"Yes, we are quite aware of that." the doctor responded simply. Still she allowed the Asari to continue. Chakwas knew that Morinth, for all of her psychosis, had an extremely acute sense of the mentality of those around her. Simply put, she was extremely good at reading people. It would make sense that she developed such a skill, both to help her hunt for new prey, and to help avoid capture.
"Look, this is how I see it." Morinth continued, "Shepard died and was resurrected forcibly, then the very first thing she did is take off on a suicide mission to stop the Collectors. She's been going pretty much non-stop since she came back to life. It's not something she's properly dealt with."
"Alright, yeah, going full Frankenstein is hard on anyone, no argument there." Joker said. Chakwas realized that such a comment was pretty normal for the Normandy's pilot. And yet she knew that he would never dare repeat what he just said if Shepard was anywhere in earshot. Perhaps it was subconscious on his part, but for Karin it was very telling.
"So what's any of this got to do with Shepard's scars anyway?" Joker asked after a beat.
"Isn't it obvious?" Morinth asked rhetorically, "They're a constant reminder. The ever present signpost of her condition. It bothers her, and she's having more and more trouble putting her mind off it." None of this surprised Karin, of course, it made sense given the increased prominence of the Commander's scarring.
"As much as I'd like to say otherwise," Chakwas countered, "Shepard is not about to take the necessary time to deal with the full breadth of the psychological stresses she may have suffered due to her resurrection."
"Shepard's a strong woman." Morinth grinned, "She can deal with the stress just fine. Even if she has to complete the mission through sheer force of will. I simply rather she do so in a better mental state. Even for purely selfish reasons, keeping the Commander at her best means we're all more likely to survive. Plus I like her more when she has her true fire in her eye, not the fake light of her ocular implants."
"Wait so you wanna help make the commander happy so you can suck on her brain stem?" Joker shot out. Morinth just snorted and dismissed the comment.
"There is one possible solution." Chakwas finally admitted, "One I mentioned to Shepard already, but she summarily refused."
"But you still think it's a good idea otherwise you wouldn't be bringing up right now." Morinth guessed. Karin's simply nod was all the confirmation needed.
"Without getting too technical, we can invest in high end medical equipment which will allow me to make repairs to Shepard's implants." the doctor explained, "The problem is the cost and resources required to manufacture such cutting edge equipment is extremely high. That's credits the commander would rather spend on the ship and crew to ensure everyone comes out alive."
"That is part of what makes her such a wonderful commander." A Turian voice moved through the room. All three occupants turned to the door of the med bay to see Garrus walking in with Tali towing close behind. "But in this case I think we can all agree Shepard needs this one."
"What the hell? Does everyone wanna try to catch the cripple kid with his pants down?" Joker exclaimed. "Is this some kinda betting pool I'm not aware of."
"I assure you Joker, no one wants to see you with your pants down." Tali replied sarcastically.
"Ouch." Garrus added.
"Besides if that were the case, I'd have already won the bet." Morinth said as well with a wide smirk.
"I hate you all. You're all bad people." Joker glummed.
"Fair enough." Garrus shrugged, "Really though, here you all are talking with all of Shepard's old friends and you failed to invite her best two, and only, Dextro buddies along? We're insulted. Honestly."
"How did you know about this meeting at all?" Morinth asked.
"That's easy, I put a bug on you." Garrus was smirking in a way only a turian could. Morinth just replied with a somewhat incredulous look. "I did warn you that I would be watching you, didn't I? You were quite fine with that from what I recall. I believe your exact words were 'I welcome it'."
"I suppose I can't really complain about that one." Morinth said with a false wilted look before looking at Tali as if to ask the same question.
"Who do you think made the bug for him in the first place?" Tali replied before Morinth could say anything.
"Fair enough." Morinth parroted Garrus before looking back to Chakwas, "So then how do we go about getting this medical equipment we would need."
"I'm afraid it won't be easy." Chakwas explained, "This is very specific equipment that doesn't even technically exist. We need something built specifically with Shepard's implants in mind which, as you can imagine, make her one of a kind. That means a great deal of raw resources, platinum especially, as well as the means to manufacture them. That last bit, along with the procedure itself, will require the services of both Ms. Lawson and Mr. Solus."
"Hmm, you're right it might not be easy, but I think if we put our heads together there should be no reason we can't figure out how to make this work." Garrus suggested.
"You know I may have a lead on some now unclaimed platinum sources." Morinth volunteered, which was surprising in its own way.
"And I'm sure Ilium will have someplace that can build what we need without getting any unwanted attention." Garrus added, "That means contacting Liara."
"I should have no problems installing it into the medbay the second it arrives." Tali mentioned as she scrutinized the structure of the room they occupied.
"Yes, I think this could work." Garrus said thoughtfully, "Send us what you need Doc. And we'll be sure to make it happen."
"One sec." Joker spoke up, catching everyone's attention, "If you're going to do this then you need to do it right. Keep the whole thing a secret from Shepard."
"Why would we need to do that?" Morinth asked, it was an accusation, but a note of true curiosity.
"Two reasons." Joker began, holding up a hand with his two first fingers in a 'V' formation indicatively. "First, knowing Shepard, if you tell her what you're planning she'll insist on using those resources on something more mission related. Second, I'm sure everyone forgot, so you can all be glad I actually pay attention to this shit, but Shepard's birthday is coming up, and nothing's better then surprise birthday parties."
"What are you talking about Joker, of course I knew about it." Garrus said.
"Me too!" Tali chirped, "I had it on my calendar and everything." Her omnitool came to life cheerily as to prove her point.
"I was planning on sharing a bottle of brandy with her if no one else did anything." Karin added.
"Point of fact it was actually Lieutenant Moreau who forgot." EDI's voice called out helpfully from the local comm systems in the room, "The sole reason he recalled the upcoming date was because I reminded him earlier just before his appointment."
"Shut it EDI." Joker grumbled something along the lines of 'traitor' before he added, "Just promise you WON'T tell the Commander what we're planning."
"If Commander Shepard questions me directly regarding your plans, I will have no choice but to comply." EDI added sounded somewhat crestfallen over the admission, oddly enough, "However I see no reason to inform the Commander directly of this."
"Eh, that's close enough." Garrus let out a half shrug in response.
"You know I've never given anyone a birthday present before!" Morinth commented, "Unless you count sex, but that's only because I kind of enjoyed the symmetry of having someone die on the same day they were born." The statement gave her quite the assortment of looks and glares from the rest in the medbay, which prompted a deliberately tactless smirk from the Asari "You can relax. I'm not about to hand out an 'extra present' then everyone else. That's just tacky."
"SURPRISE!" The chorus of the entire crew rang out across the mess as soon as Sara Shepard rounded the corner.
It wasn't a surprise, but Sara pretended to be none the less. She had been noticing strange behavior throughout the week and eventually confronted EDI about it. Bound the hardware constraints she was forced to admit to the party that everyone was planning. So she put on a brave face and headed down to the Crew Deck when the time came.
In truth the last thing she wanted was to spend much time in the limelight like this. At the same time she was glad for the distraction. After Illusive Man's utterly predictable and inevitable betrayal on that Collector Ship, it was good to have something else to think about other then different ways she could punch the ego right out of his eye sockets. More importantly, she reminded herself, she appreciated the gesture and figured it would be good morale for the rest of the crew to have something they all could enjoy.
Shepard's acting fooled most of the crew. The rest were too polite to ruin the joke.
"Thank you everyone." She said quickly, Sara never liked making speeches. "This is a celebration for all of you as much as it is for me. So how about for the next half hour everyone's required to have fun. Commander's orders!"
The loud cheer filled the room once again, and shortly thereafter Gardner brought out the cake he'd bake for the occasion. It was chocolate, Sara's favorite, but only had a single candle in it because as he said it, 'Always bad luck to remind a superior officer of how old they are'. Shepard made a show of making a wish before blowing out the candle. Everyone knew what her wish was; for everyone to make it to the other side of this mission.
"And now that the cake's done it's time for the best part of a birthday party." Chambers cheered, "Presents!"
"Oh come one guys you really shouldn't have." Shepard pleaded. It wasn't really about being polite, she really didn't feel like staying there any second longer then she had to.
"Actually we did." Joker spoke up from where he was standing against the window to the medbay, he had even made the effort to come down here from his pilot seat. "We all decided to pool our resources and get you something special." He stepped aside along with everyone else who had deliberately placed themselves between their commander and the medbay window so they could block the view.
With the window cleared Shepard had a clear view of the Medbay interior, specifically a new device that had not been there before, installed in the far corner of the room. The smooth pristine white panels of the specialized device was broken up by the sharp contrast of the bright red bow that had been attached to one of its side panels for this very occasion.
"What is that?" Shepard said, no longer acting.
"Something just for you, Commander." Chakwas answered, "Something we've discussed before in fact."
"You didn't." Shepard was actually surprised this time. EDI may have told her about the party, but managed to conveniently leave out details of the present they were planning.
"We most certainly did." Miranda confirmed.
"But how did you even…?" Sara still wasn't sure if she should be happy or angry at this point.
"It's like Joker said, we pooled our resources." Tali said cheerfully.
"That's a lot of resources." Shepard called back, "Where could you possibly get all that."
"As it turned out an old flame of mine owned an abandoned platinum mine just shy of Turian space." Morinth explained, "Since I knew for a fact that he was never going to do anything with the site, I just passed the coordinates along."
"Wasn't hard to get a team out there to start mining the place." Jacob added, "After that it was pretty standard getting the ore to Illium."
"Before you ask. Illium ideal for custom medical fabrication." Mordin spoke quickly before anyone had a chance to say anything else, "Numerous corporate interest tied to liberal regulation policies. Inevitable finding prototype medical manufacturing services. Alliance counterpart: Noveria."
"I worked with Dr. Solus to create blueprints for the device," Miranda continued, "Once it was complete we snuck it on board and installed it."
"How the heck did you manage to do all that?!" Sara asked, still shocked they could have done so much without her realizing it. Though granted, looking back now, she had been deliberately ignoring some of the crew's most recent strange behavior, having assumed it was related to the party. And to be honest, it was just one more reason why she had been avoiding the Crew Deck in general recently. Still it left a lot of gaps in the sheer logistics of the whole operation.
"Wasn't hard." Garrus offered, "While you were out on that last mission with Zaeed and Thane we moved everything in there and installed it. Probably didn't notice all the empty cargo boxes down in the hanger."
"That mission was maybe an hour tops." Shepard said.
"Please, that's plenty of time for me and my team." Tali claimed proudly. Ken and Gabby nodded next to her, adding in their own confirmations. "It's no different than on any Quarian ship, really, everyone took part. Even Grunt!"
"Who do you think carried the damn thing up here." Grunt added smiling, his comment encouraging a couple of short laughs from the crowd.
"But to be honest none of this would have been possible without Liara." Garrus paused briefly while Sara's head snapped in his direction at her favorite Asari's name, "She was very helpful finding and coordinating all of the pieces. Took care of just about all the paperwork. You could say this is partly her gift as well." The Turian walked up and put an arm on the shoulders of his best friend, giving Shepard a warm half-hug. It was a reminder to the Commander that Liara still cared.
"I … ", Sara tried to come up with the words to express how she felt but nothing seemed to fit, so instead she went with the worlds her purely rational mind could come up with. "This is too much, the cost of this should be spent on something more important."
"What are you talking about Commander?" Joker interrupted that line of thought, "There's nothing more important to this mission then you. And you've gone out of your way to help out everyone of the crew. Without you, none of us would be here today. Without you, none of us has a shot of surviving this thing. It's only fair we take care of you the way you take care of us."
This time Shepard was left truly speechless.
Morinth stood at the edge of her room, leaning against the large observation window overlooking the planet of Alchera below. Near as she could tell the whole thing was little more than one giant ice ball. But ship-wide gossip quickly illuminated the significance of this otherwise worthless rock.
This was the place where the first Normandy was destroyed. The ship's corpse lay broken on the surface below.
Or to put it simply, this is where Shepard died.
It struck Morinth as indefinitely amusing that one should have an opportunity to visit their own grave. The Commander had been doing just that for the better part of an hour. Only when the slight tug of inertial dampers played across her body, and the light blue glow of Alchera began to slowly move away from her window, Morinth knew that the Commander had returned. A fact all the more confirmed once the chime rang out informing her of a visitor outside her room. Morinth walked to the other side of her room and was not at all surprised to see Shepard standing there when she opened the door.
"Shepard." Morinth said simply, with a soft smile played across her lips.
"Mind if I come in for a bit?" Shepard offered but simply walked in without waiting for a response. Morinth didn't mind, closing the door behind her. Looking back she noted that the Commander was still in her armor. Only her helmet had been removed, held under her arm. She had only just arrived from the planet's surface moments ago. Bits of ice still clinging to the nooks in her armor was a testament to that.
"So how was the funeral?" Morinth asked deliberately.
"It was … nice actually." Shepard said finally. She looked up at the Asari. As before her scars still dominated her face, along with the bright red glow of her synthetic optics. But now she wasn't trying to hide or ignore those features, she simply looked straight at Morinth, as calm and casual as any other conversation. As if at least in small part she was finally started to accept what happened to her.
"I was surprised you insisted on doing this now." Morinth commented, "I figured you would have gotten your scars fixed first."
Shepard responded first by shaking her head slowly, "No I had to do this first. I had to face them, face what happened, before I put it behind me."
"I'm glad you're feeling better." Morinth wasn't surprised this time to realize how genuine those words were.
"I know." Shepard smiled at her, "Which is why I wanted to thank you."
"Thank me? For what?" Morinth asked.
"Karin told me how you broached the subject about this." Shepard replied motioning to her face with her free hand. "Because of you I get a chance to feel a little bit normal again."
"That wasn't all my doing, the others helped a great deal." Morinth reminded Shepard.
"And they're all getting my thanks in person too." Shepard continued, "But you got the ball rolling, even if it was just a kick in the ass to get everyone else to help." She smiled then, and offered the helmet under her arms towards Morinth. "I got something for you."
Taking a look Morinth realized fast that this was not Shepard's helmet like she first assumed. More specifically it was not the most recent, functional helmet she wore down on the planet. It was a burned, tattered, broken thing that looked like it had gone through hell several times and had no right to still be in one piece, and barely at that. Morinth had no words to ask but the look she gave Shepard asked them all the same.
"My old N7 helmet. I was wearing it when I died." Shepard admitted, she frowned as she spoke but her words didn't waver. It was a start at least. "Funny the things you find in a wreck sometimes. Much as I'm willing to deal with what happened, I'd rather not have the constant reminder sitting next to my bed."
Morinth nodded quietly as she took the helmet in her hands. While most might only see a piece of junk, what she saw was so much more. In her eye this was an artwork all its own, this was Death represented in all its brutal nature, just as it was resilience and unyielding determination in the face of death. In short, it was beautiful.
"I can't thank you enough for this, Shepard." Morinth said with an honest smile, "But I still have to ask, why?"
"You've proven time and time again that you are truly part of this crew, Morinth." Shepard smiled back at her, "But this time you proved you could be a real friend too. Plus I know you're probably the only one who would appreciate that thing."
"You know me surprisingly well Shepard." Morinth laughed as she walked to a nearby shelf to place the helmet down, "But before I accept this I think there's something I have to ask of you." She reached over to a sculpture sitting next to where the helmet now rested, picking up quickly and moving back to Shepard. "Please take this. Think of it as a trade."
"Nef's Sculpture?" Shepard said as she took hold of the sculpture.
"I know you said you didn't want it, but I insist." Morinth began before Shepard could argue the point, "It's much the same way I feel about your gift. I think this is something that only you can truly appreciate. You have a connection to this piece that even I couldn't experience. You should have something to remind you that there is more in this galaxy then death. You need something that will teach you to see the beauty in everything."
It was almost a small miracle that the Commander did finally take the sculpture in her hand. Perhaps with an awkward smile and a mumbled thank you, but Shepard did accept Morinth's gift. Long after the Commander left her quarters and the Asari found herself admiring her broken helmet as she carefully strummed her fingers along its shattered surface, that acceptance was something that truly made Morinth feel happy in a way she had not felt in centuries.
It was less than a week later that Sara found herself waking up in the far corner of the medbay. Looking around she quickly found Dr. Chakwas and Miranda looking over her expectantly. Mordin was in another corner going over … whatever it was he was mumbling about, Shepard had no idea.
She blinked twice, her face felt different.
"How are you feeling Commander?" Chakwas asked as Sara sat up in her bed.
"Feeling … fine I guess. I figured that would take longer." Shepard said, yup her face definitely felt different, but not in a bad way. She ran her fingers across her cheek slowly, everything felt the same, like normal skin.
"It's not like we replaced your whole skin Shepard, or at least not in the way you're imagining it." Miranda offered, "Think of it more like an upgrade to the cybernetics already there."
"Right, bigger question though. How bad does it look?" Shepard asked.
"See for yourself Commander." Karin said offering Sara a simple mirror with a warm smile.
Shepard immediately took the mirror and held it up to her face, and looking back at her she saw, … her. There was Sara Shepard staring right back at her. It wasn't perfect, she was still missing every scrape and scar that she'd earned over the years, but it was definitely her. She wasn't some robotic copy trying to be her.
She shook that thought away from her head quickly and returned the mirror. Whatever else what going on, at least now she could face people without freaking out about it.
"That looks wonderful Doc." Shepard smiled.
"Better than Wonderful." Mordin began, "High tensile polymer overlay, resists damage piercing and tearing. Can also regenerate at superior rates. Seamless repairs. Quite useful."
"Uh, and that means what exactly?" Shepard asked.
"What Dr. Solus means is that the cybernetic polymer used for your skin will help prevent injuries since it's far harder to cut through then normal skin." Miranda explained, "And the procedure we used for the operation is now built into the skin cells, meaning that healing from cuts won't even leave a scar now."
"Huh, not sure if that's good news or bad news." Sara shrugged.
"Spoken like a true marine." Chakwas scoffed. "Just enjoy your new skin and make the most of it."
Shepard nodded as she gave the doctor a dismissive smirk. She stood off the bed as she went about moving her limbs. It would take some time to get used to her new skin.
She turned around and caught sight of the medical device that had been built just for her. No matter what the rest of the crew said, it seemed a waste to just use it once for something so cosmetic. Even if it did come with a few perks. Suddenly an idea started to form in her head and she quickly turned around to address the doctors in the room.
"So correct me if I'm wrong, but you should be able to make whatever adjustments you can to all my cybernetic implants with this right?" Shepard asked as a sly smile slowly crept across her lips.
"Yes, that's certainly possible." Miranda answered, "The device is specifically designed with your unique collection of biosynthetic modules in mind. Why do you ask?"
"I'm thinking now that we have it might as well make the most of it." Shepard's smile had been promoted to a grin by this point, "I've got a special side project for the three of you."
As the doctor suggested, she would make sure to make the most of it after all.
A/N: Hope you guys continue enjoying and supporting what you see here. Please continue to send me feedback and reviews anytime you want! That's the stuff that writers live for. :D
In fact I will be playing around with longer chapter formats, especially for upcoming fanfic projects that I'm working on. I'm really excited for what the future holds. ENJOY!