Hey everybody! Hope you enjoy the chapter.
There is a brief mention of domestic abuse and instant abortion. It's not explicit, but if it can be a trigger for you, I suggest ignoring the end of the chapter.
When Emma woke up in the next morning, Regina was lying half on top of her snoring quietly. Her eyes widened when she realized that Regina's leg was between hers and she bit her lower lip hard trying not to moan. She took a deep breath and looked to the beautiful brunette. Her left arm was wrapped around her waist and her head was on Emma's chest. Emma stroked her hair lightly and couldn't stop her smile while thinking how life played with her. For years she wanted this to happen and never she thought that one day they would be lying like this. Not even in Neverland when she thought maybe, for lack of choice and for being safer, Regina would end up sharing a space with her.
"I wish I could have been brave enough." Emma whispered quietly.
Regina shifted in bed and her leg was pressed against the blonde's core. Emma almost whimpered with the contact, closing her eyes shut and biting her lower lip to stop any sound.
Regina's cell phone rang, and the brunette groaned against Emma chest making her smile.
"It's too early."
"I can answer if you want."
"No." Regina mumbled. "Let it ring."
"It could be important."
Regina sighed and reached for her phone groaning when she saw who was calling and rejected the call putting the phone back on the table.
"I never thought you were the kind of person who likes to stay in bed until later." Emma chuckled.
"I'm not." Regina grumbled.
"Of course."
They stayed like that for a while, saying nothing, just enjoying that moment and Emma barely moved, afraid to break whatever was happening.
A few minutes passed, and Emma's phone started ringing. She sighed heavily at her husband's name on the display, but she knew better than to reject that call.
"Killian." She closed her eyes, waiting for the storm on the other side of the line.
As if repelled with a shock, Regina turned away from the blonde, blinking repeatedly. "Emma." She whispered. "Sorry I don't-"
Emma placed her cell phone on the mute and reached for Regina's hand, squeezing gently. "It's alright."
"I was-" Regina shook her head and started again. "I'm sorry I made you in to a pillow."
"Really, everything's fine." Emma smiled. "I don't care. Besides, I don't see a problem with that."
The brunette smiled softly at her and went to the bathroom to give Emma the privacy she needed to talk to Killian.
"I know." The blonde sighed as she went back to the phone. "But it was an emergency and I didn't want to wake you up in the middle of the night. You were tired, and it didn't feel right."
Regina left the bathroom and put her pants on looking quickly at Emma indicating that she was going to go down and without giving the blonde the chance to respond she disappeared through the door.
(…)
"That smell is delicious" Emma greeted as she entered the kitchen.
"I hope you still like pancakes." Regina answered without looking at her.
"You're making pancakes?" Emma arched an eyebrow. "I thought you-"
"I did not make pancakes often because Henry was growing up and I wanted him to eat healthily, but since our son is already a grown man and I still have a child to feed around here..." Regina said turning and could not stop the laughter at the look on Emma's face. "You eat like a child."
"I'm not-"
"Oh." Regina raised an eyebrow at her. "So, you're going to tell me you do not eat any more pancakes and you now have healthier eating habits? I should leave the pancakes aside and get the whole grain bread, yoghurt, cereal without sugar-"
"Okay, Regina." Emma huffed and walked towards her to help her make the breakfast. "You're eating pancakes too?"
"This surprise you?"
"A bit." Emma shrugged. "So... what we gonna do today? We need to find a way to help our son."
"I know, Emma." Regina sighed. "We can't talk about it with anybody, so we'll have to do it for ourselves."
"We can try Gold. You said you don't know if he will help us or not..."
"Yeah. I think we can try." Regina gently grabbed Emma's arm as she moved, and the blonde looked at her in confusion. "Thank you for coming here."
Emma smiled without saying anything. That kind of smile that made Regina's heart beat faster without her being able to avoid it. The kind of smile Emma offered her when she wanted to reassure her that she would be at her side and did not know how to put it into words. The kind of smile that showed her dimples and made Regina want to touch them.
"Morning." Sabine greeted them by entering the kitchen.
"Good morning, Sabine." Regina smiled, returning to her task.
Emma mumbled a 'good morning' and turned her attention to Regina's refrigerator, taking milk, juice, and anything else that kept her busy while her mind ran with thoughts like, 'Why didn't you kiss her?' She sighed and began to arrange the table the way she remembered Regina liked it as she felt Sabine's gaze alternating between them.
"So... Emma, isn't?
"Yep"
"Where are you from? I can't remember where Roni said." Sabine asked smiling innocently.
"I... uh... I'm from NY." Emma gulped, looking at Regina who whispered NY behind Sabine without making a sound.
"The big city."
"Yes." Emma chuckled thinking about Storybrooke, where she was really from now..
"So... how long have you known each other?"
"Sorry, but why the interrogation?" Regina interrupted her before Emma responded.
"I'm just curious about this beautiful woman who pops out of nowhere at my friend's bar and then is sleeping in her house and makes my friend look at her as if she's the most precious thing in the world."
Emma couldn't help staring at Regina as Sabine said the last sentence and she felt her heart pound against her chest as her gaze met the brunette's.
Before Regina could said anything, Jacinda appeared in the kitchen and seemed to catch immediately what was happening there.
"Sabine." Her voice came out as a warning.
"What? I'm just curious."
"Keep your curiosity to yourself, Sabine. Roni's personal life is none of our business, and she's being kind enough to let us stay here, and that's how you thank her? "
"Everything is okay, Jacinda." Regina smiled. "I'm just curious about her interrogation. I would worry if a stranger came out of nowhere and was sleeping in your house that same day."
"See?"
"Sabine, please?"
"Just to make it clear, Reg- Roni does not look at me like I'm the most precious thing in the world. We're just friends. Why would she look at me like that?"
Regina just shook her head and turned her attention to the pancakes. She wondered if Emma was saying this just in an attempt to get Sabine to stop or if she really mean it. She couldn't think it was only that, could she? Not with the way Emma looked at her.
"Sure." Sabine answered and Jacinda nudged her ribs.
"Stop, please." She muttered.
"I miss Lucy." Sabine mumbled.
After that the breakfast went slightly awkward, but they managed to talk about other things like Lucy and how Victoria was doing everything to keep her away from Jacinda.
"I don't like this bitch."
"Emma!"
"I love this girl, Roni." Sabine laughed.
"Seriously." Emma looked at them unbelieving. "Who she thinks she is to keep mother and daughter apart?"
"A very rich bitch." Roni grumbled.
"I can deal with her. I know how to handle this kind of woman very well." Emma wiggled her eyebrows and Regina just rolled her eyes.
"Miss Swan, I don't know what you have in mind, but I can ensure you that she's not like the women you are used to."
"Oh, we're back to 'Miss Swan' now?" Emma scoffed. "I may be a bit out of shape, but I guarantee that I still know how to put it in its proper place."
"We're back to Miss Swan every time you need to remember how things work."
"Don't 'Miss Swan' me. We've been through too much." Emma raised a challenging eyebrow at Regina and the brunette held her gaze. They stared at each other silently for some time as if the real conversation was happening through their eyes. They seemed to have completely forgotten the presence of the other two women at the table. It was as if sparks were out of sight of each of them and could burn intensely with everything that was not being said between them.
"Sorry." Regina finally said after some time. "I know you're worried too, Emma, but this time things are different. We can't fight back this way. We must think about other options. We don't have the Charming softball team and the pirate mascot."
"We never really needed them, and you know it. My parents and their heroism always ended up putting us in danger and the only thing Killian did was chase me around like a lost puppy. At the end of the day it was only you and me who saved their asses." Emma said firmly, but yet, soft. "I would never do anything that could put them at risk. I can be a bit bold sometimes, but I would never put them in danger. Especially not you or him."
"Bold is a little too soft for you, don't you think?"
"I'm not inconsequent if that's what you're insinuating." Emma scoffed.
"Of course not."
It was only when Regina's cell phone rang that they seemed to remember they were not alone and blushed instantly when they saw the other two women looking at them with expressions amusing and curious.
"You argue like a couple who have been together for about 10 years." Sabine said with amusement and got up to start clearing the table, completely ignoring Jacinda's protests and the shocked expressions of Roni and Emma.
The brunette ignored what she said and picked up her cell phone while Emma helped Jacinda get the rest of the breakfast.
(...)
As they descended to the bar, Emma noticed that someone was in the reserved space and immediately stiffened. Regina was right behind her and nearly bumped into the blonde.
"Emma, what happened?"
"There is someone here." She wrapped her hand around her waist in an automatic gesture just to remind herself she wasn't with her gun. "Damn it."
"I think I know who it is." Regina took her hand gently.
She walked over to the seat with Emma right behind her as Jacinda headed to the bar kitchen and Sabine went out to buy some stuff for the food truck.
"Rogers" Regina smiled as she saw the man sitting at the table with some disorganized papers and Henry at his side. "Henry."
"Hey, Roni." The two greeted her together. "Hey, Emma."
"Hi, Henry." The blonde smiled. She paled as she saw to the man next to her son. "Killian..."
"Rogers." Regina murmured softly beside her. "What are you doing here so early?" She approached the table with Emma behind her looking around curiously. Regina and Killian seemed to be getting along and even seemed to be friends, something that clearly did not happen between Regina and her Killian. Hers. The word echoed in her mind as a very distant reality and she shook her head slowly to get rid of that thought. At the moment she needed to focus on finding a way to help Regina.
"Is that the case of that girl? Eloise Gardener?" Roni asked sitting in the chair in front of him.
"Yes." Rogers sighed. "I needed to get out of the office. I hope you don't mind."
"Of course not. I offered this place, so you could work the case away from Victoria or whoever."
"Who is Eloise Gardener?" Emma asked, her gaze alternating between the three of them.
"Excuse me lady, but who are you?" Rogers looked at her suspiciously.
"This is Emma." Roni smiled as she turned to look at the blonde. "An old friend."
"Sure." Henry mutter under his breath.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, miss." Rogers stood to greet her.
Emma smiled slightly and held out her hand to him. "So, you and Roni are friends?"
"I guess so." He smiled awkwardly. "I feel like I've known her all along. It's funny, but Roni is a good person and she has a huge heart. And her coffee is the best in town." Rogers blinked at the brunette and she just smiled.
Emma felt a rush of jealousy and just smiled at their interaction, praying that Regina wouldn't notice the way her body stiffened.
"So... who is this Eloise Gardener?" She stepped out from behind Regina's chair and leaned over to look at the papers on the table.
"It's the case of a missing girl I've been working on for years. I feel like there's a connection to her, but I cannot explain what it is. Every time I seem close enough to solve it something happens, and it distances me. It's crazy, I know, but I feel like we are family or something like that." Rogers sighed.
"Family?"
"Crazy, right?" He smiled weakly. "There's someone I need to see."
"If I can help in some way..." Emma started but she felt Regina kick her ankle slightly and stopped talking.
"It's okay, Emma." Henry alternate his gaze between the two women trying not to laugh. "I can go with him if Rogers here don't mind."
"Of course, buddy."
"Emma, can you help me with something?" Roni asked grabbing her arm.
"Sure." The blonde looked at her in confusion.
They said their goodbyes and Regina practically pushed her across the bar toward the stairs that led to the apartment above the property.
"Eloise Gardener is the witch who fooled this Killian." Regina said, looking around to make sure there was no one eavesdropping. Her body was practically pressed to Emma's against the door of the apartment and the blonde was having trouble concentrating on what she was saying. The only thing she could think of was the warmth of Regina's body against hers and her lips so close that if she bent down a little she would touch them. She licked her lips slowly and Regina could not stop herself from following the almost hypnotized movement, forgetting for a moment what she was talking about.
Emma leaned slightly, and she shivered when she felt Regina's breath on her neck, chest and against her lips. She wanted to kiss her strong and needy and feel her lips against hers, but when she leaned in a little more she felt Regina's hand on her chest and when she finally managed to take her eyes off the brunette's lips she saw that Regina eyes were closed and she was breathing heavily.
"We can't." She whispered reluctantly. "For many reasons, but perhaps the dominant one is that you're married and that would not be right. It would not be right with him, with you or with me."
"Regina..." Emma sighed, releasing the air she didn't realise she was holding, but before she could reach her, Regina had already disappeared down the stairs. "Shit." Emma let her head lean against the door of the apartment as her breathing settled. She knew that going after Regina now would be useless and could end up hurting both of them. She had come here to help her and not to go back to what seemed to be the usual cat-and-mouse game between them. Regina was right. It would not be fair to them. She made a choice ten years ago and now she should bear the consequences. "I should have been brave enough." She whispered feeling the tears stream down her face without her being able to stop them.
Emma took a moment and then she goes down the stairs backing up to the bar she found Regina behind the counter and the brunette avoiding looking at her. Emma stood there watching every movement, but her gaze seemed lost. It's was almost like she wanted to talk to Regina but didn't know how to do it.
Regina was organizing the bottles like if was the most important thing to do right now. Her mind was racing, and her heart was pounding in her chest. She and Emma almost kissed moments ago and she didn't know how things will be from now on. She wanted to kiss the blonde and for the looking in her eyes she knew that Emma wanted that too.
Sabine entered the bar with some things from groceries and immediately felt the dynamic between the two women.
"Emma, can you help me with this, please?" Sabine asked catching the blonde's attention.
"Sure." Emma reluctantly ripped her eyes from the brunette.
While Emma disappeared through the kitchen with Sabine helping her with the shopping Regina was lost in thought, aware that the blonde was not watching now.
Her mind immediately returned to the near-kiss of moments ago at the door of her apartment and she felt her heart pounding in her chest again. But they couldn't take this step. They had years to do this and neither of them made a move and in the end Emma made her choice and no matter how this has broken Regina's heart into a million pieces she was a different person there and made her own choice not to fight for Emma. How could she? Emma was always light, goodness, friendly while she had held a tantrum over a child for 'betraying her trust', she killed thousands of people, she used them for her own advantage. Damn it! It was her fault that Emma had grown up separate from her parents. It was her fault that Emma gave up Henry for adoption.
There's a time when she said that she didn't regret of all those things because everything she had done had brought her son to her, but now... After everything she's been through she knew better. Of course, she didn't regret the part of having her son, but all the rest. She never understood how Emma could forgive her for the things she did. Because it was part of the reason she went through so many things in her life. Emma always trusted her, always believed her before anyone else. She remembered when Emma appeared at her door accusing her of killing Archie and how it hurt. Even when Emma was the Dark One... she had saved her. That's why she embraced the darkness. Even in the darkness she was still full of light. 'You're too good for Hook' she had hoped that Emma could take the hint then, but the blonde didn't take it and then she decided that for her own sake she would do anything to forget her. She had Robin and would try to be someone better for him and Roland and then Hades took him out too. And then, like the icing on the cake, Emma accepted Hook's proposal. When she discovered that he had hidden her grandfather's murder and broke up with him, Regina dared to have a hope when he disappeared, but then like a plague that always comes back, there he was, kneeling on the floor of Snow's and David bedroom and proposing Emma again and once again the blonde accepted. She could never compete with that.
"Roni." Jacinda's voice startled her, pulling her out of her thoughts, and the bottle in her hand slipped to the floor, breaking into various pieces, and spreading the liquid all over the floor.
"Shit." Regina cursed under her breath.
"Regina" Emma was beside her the next moment examining her to see if she had cut herself with some broken glass when the bottle broke. "Are you okay?" Her eyes expressed concern, but also something the brunette could not name at that moment.
"I'm fine, Emma." Regina smiled weakly. would it always be like this with them?
The blonde smiled and began collecting the broken glass from the floor and wrapping them so that they would not hurt anyone.
"Are you sure you didn't get hurt?"
"Yes, Emma." Regina could not stop a genuine smile. "Thank you."
Emma smiled at her, that damn smile that made her dimples show and made Regina want to touch them. For the second time that day she needed a lot of effort not to do it.
"Sorry if I hurt you somehow earlier today. It was never my intention to hurt you, Regina." Emma said softly and low. So only Regina could hear. She was aware of Jacinda and Sabine's looks on the other side of the counter. The blonde looked directly into her eyes, as she always did when they talked. A way to reassure Regina that what she was talking about were not just words. "I came here to help you with whatever it is, and I promised I will not leave you again, but if you find it more appropriate I can find a place to stay while I'm here."
"I know." Regina gripped Emma's arm, squeezing softly. "I should not have put you through this, but I'm grateful that you've came. I'm a mess now for many reasons, but I don't want you to get another place to stay while you're here. We'll go through this as usual, as we always go through everything." Regina said more trying to convince herself than the blonde.
"Together." Emma smiled softly.
"Damn right."
When they got up Sabine and Jacinda were standing still watching them in silence. A few customers were scattered around the bar and seemed oblivious to what had happened.
"Roni, are you okay?" Jacinda asked, alternating her gaze between the two women in front of her.
"Why did you call her Regina?" Sabine demanded, receiving a reproving look from Jacinda.
"It's a thing between us." Regina answered quickly. Knowing how clumsy Emma could be sometimes and knowing she would flurry some excuse and this would raise more suspicion on the other woman.
"Hmmm" Sabine looked at them suspiciously but let it go. She knew pressing her friend would not get them anywhere.
"I'm fine, Jacinda. Sabine." Regina smiled at them. "Let's get back to work."
Emma sighed relieved as the two women headed to their tasks and she bent down to put the glass in the trash, so they would not get hurt. When she got up again she practically bumped into Regina. The brunette was rigid and there was a flame in her eyes as she stared at the girl in front of her on the other side of the counter. A flash of surprise passed over her face, but she quickly composed herself and looked at Emma intensely.
"What is she doing here?" The girl demanded turning to Regina. "I thought you knew exactly what the risks were if the curse would break."
"Who are you?" Emma folded her arms across her chest and lifted her chin in a defiant posture.
"She's Drizella." Regina whispered through greet teeth.
"I liked the other Drizella more." Emma chuckled lightly. She remembered what Regina had told her the night before and how this girl had successfully cast the curse.
"Tell me Emma," Drizella said slowly, leaning against the counter. "How's your husband? He knows you're here?" She smiled seeing that the blonde was caught of guard. "Oh, wait! He doesn't know because your marriage is falling apart since day one isn't?"
Emma clenched her jaw defiantly and she tried to hide how Drizella's words are affecting her and if her reasoning were right, what would come next could make her very upset. Regina seemed to feel Emma's agitation, but before she could intervene, Drizella continued.
"But it got worse after you lost the baby, didn't it?"
Regina's mouth was hanging open. Anger and concern was boiling inside her.
"What the hell are you talking about, Drizella?" The brunette asked in a low, dangerous tone.
"Oh!" Drizella placed her hand in front of her mouth, feigning astonishment. "She didn't tell you, did she?"
"I don't know how or why you know these things, but I suggest you stop this game right now if you know what's best for you." Emma seemed to have managed to pull herself together enough to face the girl. Her tone was even lower than Regina's and as dangerous as hers. "You think you know me, but you have no idea who you're dealing with. You have no idea what I'm capable of."
They kept staring at each other for a while until Drizella simply smiled and turned to leave, leaving them alone. When the girl walked out the door Emma felt as if her body was breaking up and instinctively Regina held her.
"Emma." The brunette called softly.
"I need some air." Emma answered without looking at her and she let go of her arms leaving soon after the girl.
Regina ran her hands through her hair nervously. She wanted to go after Emma, wanted to hug her and say that everything would be all right, whatever was going on in her life, she would overcome it, and she wouldn't be alone, but she knew Emma, and knew that now she needed space. She sighed heavily and tried to focus on the task of servicing her clients and avoiding Sabine's questions.
(…)
Emma walked aimlessly through the city. She didn't know the place and didn't know where to go. The only thing she knew was that she had to be alone, she needed to think, to put her thoughts in the place. Drizella's sudden appearance and the fact that she knew so much about her life, even though she had never had contact, terrified her. What else did this girl know? What else would she be behind? How did she know that her marriage was falling apart? How did she know that Emma had lost the baby when no one but Killian or her parents knew about it?
When Emma realized she was in a park and walked to a more isolated spot where she could be alone. She sat on the grass and let her thoughts wander.
Immediately her thoughts went to the night Henry appeared at her door for the first time, the trip to Storybrooke, fights with Regina as they seemed to be stuck in a game of seduction to which neither of them ever gave in or took the first step to go further, the curse being broken, her parents - the family she always wanted - before her and Emma could only think of Regina, the promise that she wouldn't die when the wrath came after her, the first 'trip' to the Enchanted Forest, Regina's sacrifice so that she and Snow could return safely and the smile that the brunette gave her when Emma approached, the pain in her eyes when Emma accused her of murdering Archie, the first time they did magic together stopping the trigger that would destroy them all and then the trip to Neverland to rescue Henry.
Emma laughed bitterly. Only now, thinking of Neverland, had she thought of Killian, and yet very briefly. What came to her mind when she thought of the island was how Regina and she approached there. In her first lesson on magic and how to control her powers and then when they returned to Storybrooke and she thought that everything would be fine, and they could finally learn to live as a family and all the complexities surrounding them she had to leave with Henry to NY and Regina once again sacrificed herself for her. 'My gift to you is good memories, a good life for you and Henry. You'll never have given him up. You'll have always been together.' And then all the memories of Regina and Henry filled her mind. The first steps, the first words, the first fever, the stories read before bed, the sound of his laughing at her, the first day of school among so many other things. Then a year later they were back in Storybrooke fighting a new villain and Regina was there with him. Her 'soul mate.' That thought made Emma cringe and finally she realized she was crying. Since when? She didn't know. Emma closed her eyes tightly and the memories continued to invade her mind without permission. She was falling into the portal and into the Enchanted Forest again, the encounter with the Evil Queen and the way she had looked at her - of course, at that time Regina didn't see her as she really was, but still the way the Queen had looked at her made Emma flushed with desire even though something in the back of her mind said that it was wrong and she couldn't understand why - the return to Storybrooke and with her Marian - which was actually Zelena - and then she broke Regina's heart. She who had sworn never to hurt her. But as always, they never had time to do anything right because soon after another villain appeared and with her, Elsa, Anna and Kristoff and their reunion with Ingrid. Ingrid... the woman who came closest to be a good mother to her during her teens. Ingrid's sacrifice, Robin's departure, Gold's return bringing Cruella and Ursula together, and the search for the author, Maleficent's return - and this made Emma's blood boil as she remembered that - quite possibly - Regina and her had slept together, and a wave of jealousy swept over her as it had at that time.
The trip to NY to go after Maleficent's daughter - who happened to be the girl she had met in her teens and who had tried to be her friend, - Robin's return, the discovery that Marian was actually Zelena and that she was pregnant by him. The alternate reality for which they were sent, and then Henry was there to save them, but who really saved them was Regina by placing himself between Gold sword and the boy. Once again, they were back in Storybrooke and before Emma could do anything she was sacrificing herself for Regina.
She never regretted making that sacrifice for Regina. In fact, she would do it again if she had to. Emma then remembered handing the dagger to the brunette. 'I saved you, now save me.' And the way Regina was the only person she really trusted to keep the dagger - the only thing that could really control her as Dark One - and yet she never hesitated to hand it over to the brunette.
Emma thought about going to the underworld and how it had been a big mistake in the end. She remembered saying goodbye to Killian there and even though terrified of how it would be from there she felt she would survive. She knew she was not alone anymore. She had her parents, had her son, and had Regina. Regina who had never left her side. Regina who was always there for her. Regina who supported her, but who also put her in her place when necessary. Regina. The other mother of her son. The woman who loved him and raised him when Emma could not, the woman who had been broken by so many people, who had made so many mistakes and yet had found her way back, who had learned to trust and open and be strong. The woman who loved too much, who felt too angry, who believed too much. The woman who was everything Emma could ever be. The woman she'd been in love with since she'd saved her from the wrath. In love. Emma shook her head and cringed to her knees, hugging them tightly as tears streamed uncontrollably down her face.
"I love her." Emma whispered through sobs. Admitting aloud was a no-go way, and she knew it. She knew it was a no-go way the moment she left her house before dawn to go to the brunette. She knew it was a no-go way when she saw Regina and her heart pounded in her chest.
Emma remembered when she saw Regina for the last time and the look they exchanged. She remembered Henry saying quietly as he hugged her 'You know she's bad at goodbyes' and how she needed all her strength not to let the tears stream down her face at that time, not to rush off and hug her tight. "I should never have left, I should never have married, I wish I had been strong enough to fight for her."
Emma sat on the grass for a few more hours lost between thoughts and memories and just as the night began to fall she got up and made her way back to the bar.
As she passed the door her gaze immediately crossed Regina's and she smiled relieved to see her, but her smile was replaced with concern as the brunette noticed her red eyes.
"Emma." Regina whispered and waited until she approached the counter.
"Sorry to have disappeared pretty much all day and worried you" The blonde smiled weakly and headed for the stairs leading to the upstairs apartment and then stopped, waiting for Regina. As she approached, Emma continued. "I needed to be alone for a bit. I needed to think about some things and I believe you have some questions after what that brat said and I'm ready to answer them."
"I have some." Regina took Emma's hand in hers and stroked it affectionately. "But I don't want you to feel obligated to tell me anything. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable just because you think you need to give me explanations."
"I know." Emma smiled. "And I do not feel obligated to say. With you I never felt obligated to anything, Regina. All I did or said was what I wanted to."
"So," The brunette gently squeezed her hand. "I'll do everything I can to finish here earlier and then we can talk. Meanwhile, what do you think about eating something? I'm sure you're hungry, and Sabine has just prepared a delicious pie."
Emma sat in the reserved space that Rogers had occupied in the morning, and soon Regina brought a generous piece of pie to her and a cup of hot cocoa with cinnamon.
"I'll be right over there if you need me." Regina smiled and felt her heart skip a beat as Emma looked at her. There was something intense in her gaze. Something different from when they looked at each other in the morning, but she could not tell what it was.
"Do I get a piece of pie too?" Henry's voice startled her slightly and she turned to find the him smiling significantly at them.
"Of course, my dear." Regina went out to get the pie for Henry and he sat down in front of Emma.
"So..." He started tentatively. "What do you think of the city so far?"
"Town or bar owner?" Emma raised an eyebrow at him and Henry laughed.
"I tried to be discreet, but since you raised the subject..." He fell silent when he saw Roni approaching with his piece of pie and a cup of coffee for him as well. "Thank you, Roni."
She smiled at him and her gaze captured Emma's for a moment and the blonde smiled as their eyes met. With a nod she left leaving them alone again.
"So..."
"It's complicated, kid. Roni and I have a long history and there was always so much more between us than we could say."
A flash of a memory passed through Henry's mind and he closed his eyes for a few seconds, shaking his head.
"Is everything okay, kid?" Emma looked at him in alarm.
"Yes. It's just a memory..." He ran his hands over his face slowly. "But it cannot be. That's a scene from my book only. Most of my imagination."
Emma stared at him for a moment. She wanted to ask what memory it was, but she knew that if he was remembering something it was a sign that the curse was weakening, and it would not take long for it to break, but Regina had told her the consequences if it happened then Emma didn't want to risk their luck until they had found a way to defeat Drizella and break the curse without something bad happening.
Emma changed the focus of the conversation to Henry and soon he was telling her about his life. She felt her heart tighten as he told her about how he had grown up in the system and how he had lost his family in a fire and how his life changed after that. The book he launched and was never exactly the success he had hoped for, life as a driver until the day Lucy appeared at his door saying that he was his father.
Emma laughed and her will was to say, 'karma is a bitch' but this would eventually generate questions she could not answer, and she knew he would not stop until he got answers, so she just kept listening to his story.
After some time, Regina returned with two bottles of beer and collected the empty plates. Before she left, Henry took her arm gently. "Thank you for what you're doing for Jacinda and Sabine." Henry said smiling at Roni and she felt her heart ache.
"She is a model employee." Regina's gaze met Jacinda's and a flash of pain passed through her eyes. Emma noticed the slight change in the tone and expression of the brunette and narrowed her eyes watching her more closely. Her features were painfully sad even though she was struggling to hide behind her smile.
"I know you want everyone to think you're tough, but I see further." Henry smiled genuinely. "You have a good heart. You care about people and you're always trying to help."
Regina closed her eyes for a moment and Emma knew she was using all her strength to keep the tears from flowing down her face. She exchanged another glance with Jacinda and the woman approached their table.
"Emma," Regina called out, waking her from her thoughts. "Can you help me with something?"
"Hmm." She looked at Jacinda and then at Regina and felt there was something. "Of course."
Emma got up and followed the brunette to the other side of the bar while Jacinda took her place in front of Henry.
"What is going on?" Emma whispered to Regina as they stood behind the counter.
"They had a date today." The brunette sighed heavily. "And the way things were going between them I have no doubt how this would end."
"So, you had to get Jacinda out of the way, so the curse would not break, would it?" Emma guessed.
Regina nodded slowly and when her gaze met the other brunette's, she felt Emma's hand slide against her interlacing her fingers and squeezing gently. "I know how hard this is for you." She whispered, pulling her gently to look at her. "But we'll find a way. I promised you I would not leave you alone in this."
After Jacinda told Henry that she couldn't go out with him, he left the bar with a brief nod to both of them and Regina thought she couldn't bear the disappointment in his gaze. Feeling the state of the brunette Emma put her arm around Regina's waist in a side hug. "We'll fix this, I promise." She whispered and felt the brunette relax slightly.
Sabine watched them from the kitchen from the moment they'd left Henry and Jacinda alone and shook her head. 'When will these two admit what they feel for each other?' She thought turning her attention to the dough she was making.
After the day was over, the four women were sitting at one of the tables drinking a beer and trying to relax from the long day when Henry came in rushed, scaring them.
"Henry" Emma and Regina both got up at the same time, looking at him to make sure he was okay. Jacinda was at their side the next moment.
"Eloise Gardener is alive." He smiled widely. "Rogers just called me."
"Eloise is alive?" Regina looked at him incredulously. She felt the anger consuming her insides at the thought of the woman and what she had done to Rogers - or Killian -, and if she was right, Eloise - or Gothel as she actually was - was as awake as she or Drizella.
"Yes, but it does not end there." Henry smiled and looked at Jacinda. "Victoria went to jail."
"Belfrey is in jail?" This time Regina looked really surprised.
"It looks like she was holding Eloise in a captivity." Henry said, alternating his gaze between the women in front of him.
"If Victoria is in jail then Lucy..." Jacinda started.
"You can have Lucy back." Henry smiled and before he could say anything else, the brunette tucked herself into his arms, hugging him.
Regina looked at Emma with her eyes slightly wide and the blonde once more slid her hand against hers entwining her fingers and gently squeezing a silent promise.
After Henry left the four women went up to the apartment and Emma and Regina went straight to the room. The day had been long, exciting, and they were exhausted. Like the night before, Emma went to the shower first, and as the hot water ran down her body, she tried to sort out her thoughts and decide where her conversation with Regina would begin.
"I know you said you were ready to answer my questions, but if you'd rather sleep and leave that conversation for tomorrow I'll understand." Regina said as she finally got out of the shower.
"I won't be able to sleep." Emma sighed. "Not after the intense day we had. So, if you still want those answers we can talk when you're comfortable."
"I promise not to linger in the shower." Regina smiled and laid a kiss on the top of Emma's head before heading for the bathroom. After the door closed the blonde leaned her head against the headboard and closed her eyes thinking how that little gesture had seemed so natural. Like if they did it every day. Emma wondered what it would be like to have fought for Regina instead of choosing the 'safer choice' for fear of rejection and how their lives could have been if things had happened differently. She was so immersed in her thoughts that she barely noticed when the door opened, and Regina came out wearing only a T-shirt - that covered just below her butt - and panties.
"Emma?" The brunette called her slowly so as not to frighten her.
"Hey." She opened her eyes and smiled at the sight of her sitting cross-legged in front of her, her hair damp.
"I thought you were sleeping."
"I was just thinking." Emma admitted, feeling her cheeks flush slightly.
They were silent for a while, their gazes locked on each other as it always was with them, and each seemed stuck in their own world. When the silence became too much for Emma she cleared her throat and Regina seemed to wake up taking her hand and stroking it lightly to encourage her to speak.
"About what Drizella said today." Emma started, but stopped and stood silently for some time.
"You don't have to say anything if you're not comfortable." Regina reassured.
"I want to." Emma looked at her again. "I just don't know where to start. It would be easier if you just asked."
Regina took a deep breath and seemed to choose the words carefully before proceeding. Without knowing for sure what she would hear from the blonde, she thought it safer to ask first about the marriage. "What does Drizella mean by 'your marriage is falling apart'? I mean, it sounds pretty clear what she meant, but I think that has a strong reason for that to be happening."
"The reason my marriage is falling apart is the same one that I should never have married Killian. I do not love him."
Regina's eyes widened, and her mouth opened and closed a few times, but no sound came out. Guilt consumed her as a sense of relief invaded her at the mention of Emma's statement, but she felt as if a weight had been lifted from her back.
"I married him because he was the safest choice. I liked the idea that someone loved me. Someone had wanted me. Someone had chosen me from all the people. I didnt want to disappoint my parents. Not after everything that happened and after having spent so much time away from them. I wanted to be the daughter they both dreamed about. When my brother was born - this will sound very selfish, I know - I felt like I was being replaced and seeing them every day with him hurt like hell, but there was nothing I could do to stop this pain and Killian was there and insisting that he loved me and that he wanted me, so I just gave up fighting his onslaughts. I thought I might come to love him one day. When we last saw each other and Killian and I went back to Storybrooke alone, I really thought I could finally start to love him if I didn't-"
Emma felt a lump in her throat. She didn't know how to proceed. She didn't know how to tell Regina. The brunette was silent, afraid that if she said anything Emma would back away, so she waited patiently until which she spoke again.
"If I did not see you again."
Her gaze locked on Regina's and the brunette stared at her in shock. Her mind was running with the things Emma was saying. Emma had just confessed, even indirectly that she felt something for her. Regina didn't know what to say. Not in a thousand years did she think that one day it would happen. Of course she had noticed the way Emma looked at her, the tension between them, the sacrifices, the companionship, the way they seemed to complete each other, the way their magic work together, their colors, the power of their magic combined, but at the same time Regina thought she might be misunderstanding all this, especially when Emma accepted Hook's proposal.
"After we got back to Storybrooke things fell apart completely." Emma bit her lower lip thinking of how to proceed. Whatever she said from there could - and would - change everything between Regina and her and the fear of rejection was making her shudder. She took a deep breath and her gaze met the brunette's again and Emma felt her world turning upside down. She found no judgment in her gaze. Only a woman waiting for her to tell her story, ready to offer her comfort.
"In the months that followed, I could think of nothing more than our farewell. I didn't want to leave the house for anything, but I forced myself at least to work so that Killian wouldn't notice my condition and in the beginning, it worked, but when I began to deny him his wills and to avoid him in every possible way he came to realize, and it was not long before he connected the dots." Emma felt her body shudder at every word and she knew the tears were coming down silently on her face, but she couldn't stop now. She felt Regina's hand caressing her softly and that was all the comfort she needed at that moment. "The more distant we were, the more cranky Killian would become, and he started spending more time in the Rabbit Hole and always came home drunk until one day he got worse than normal and said things needed to change so he tried to have his way with me and I managed to avoid it and push him away. I just couldn't predict what came next." Emma choked on her tears and Regina quickly caught up with her and placed her in a hug, gently caressing her back in slow circles.
"Sssshh" Regina felt a rage consuming her chest. An anger she hadn't felt in a long time. She was going to kill that pirate and she did not care if it would lead her into the darkness again, but he would pay for what he did to Emma.
"We began to argue very intensely and when I realized there was a huge pool of blood between my legs. Killian seemed to recover from his drinking and called my father to helped him to take me to the hospital because I could not afford to poofed there, but when we arrived it was too late. "
Regina felt her jaw working violently as she tried to control her emotions and thanked her for being in a land without magic, otherwise she was sure her powers would be out of control.
"After that day Killian and I got more and more distant and even though we tried to make things work between us, it would never be the same again." Emma continued when she finally calmed down enough to speak again.
"Why?" Regina asked after a while. Her voice low and hoarse. She had begun to cry and had not even noticed. "Why didn't you leave him and start your life again, Emma? You could..."
"I had no reason for that, Regina." The blonde loosened from her arms just enough to look into her eyes. "Everything I loved the most was far from me, impossible to be reached, I told you, I'm not the strongest of the two of us."
"Oh, Emma." Regina kissed her forehead and pulled her into her arms again. "You were strong enough to come here."
They remained silent, and soon Regina noticed that Emma's breathing had become calm and she did her best to straighten her into the bed without waking her, lying down with her and hugging her gently. Regina laid a kiss in the blonde's hair and began to caress slowly the golden curls. Her mind was racing with everything Emma had told her.
"If you only knew why I chose to remain with Henry..." The brunette whispered before her body finally surrendered to exhaustion.
Let me know what you think. =)