Dark Amber

by Severina Angel

He smiled darkly to himself. Perhaps sleep would bring some small consolation and ease his frustration. If he was fortunate the girl may have let down her defences again. He loved to invade her dreams. He loved seeing both terror and arousal in the depths of her intoxicating eyes. Ah yes, what pleasure will be had when she is finally under my control...

39. Torn and Frayed

Authors note 1/5/14 - Hey folks :) It seems apt that my writers block should dissipate and enable me to complete and upload the new chapter on the eve of the 16th anniversary of the Hogwarts Battle! :-) Sorry for the long wait for this chapter, but my inspiration deserted me...even Voldemort left me be! ;-) Thank you so much to ShatteredSoul37 and a guest who gave my confidence a much-needed boost with their lovely reviews:-) X X big cyber-kisses to both of you! Thank you again to ShatteredSoul37 and also LadyRocelyn, AlphaRidley, Dark-Key0, LycanBeks, fairydaisy777, Crystal2913, Luna6897 and Turqoise Waffles for finding and reading Dark Amber :-) Oh, and how can I forget my Ralph Fiennes buddy and fellow Aquarian, Lauren, who has also read Dark Amber and given me fantastic comments over at the Ralph Fiennes Corner? Thank you one and all :-) If you stick with Dark Amber, I promise it will be taken to its conclusion. SA

'Worn and weary is the soul, torn and frayed the mind

This present day so far away from what I left behind

The shadows that have followed me, plague my memories

Now that I am watching and waiting for you.'

"Another World Awaits" - Darkest Era

Tuesday 5th September, 2000, 11pm

Lucius Malfoy breathed heavily, inhaling a sharp breath when he felt the throb of pain from his left arm. He saw the rip in the material of his clothing and the blood seeping from the wound. His gloved hand examined the luxurious fabric critically and he grimaced at the damage. But his mood brightened at the knowledge that his house elf would repair it. Lucius cast a healing spell and felt the wound begin to knit together. He examined his arm again, observing unblemished skin once more.

'Lucius!'

He looked up and saw Dolohov striding towards him. Lucius glanced around him and saw the bodies that decorated the ground. He heard the groans of pain from them; a few were fellow followers, most were Order members. He spotted other bodies lay against the earth, lifeless and bloodied, his nostrils flaring as the stench of charred flesh assaulted them. Lucius' eyes took in the sight of the blackened remains on the ground. Smoke drifted from them, ashen specks floating into the night air.

'What do you remember, Lucius?'

Dolohov's dark eyes fixed upon him. What did he mean? The last thing he remembered was duelling with an Order member, and stunning the pureblood traitor. Then he had seen the one remaining Weasley twin heading towards a group of ghouls, who were feasting voraciously upon Alvin Muggleton. He had cast out a hex at Weasley, who had deflected it. Then he had received the wound on his arm. Seeing that the witch was of no consequence, Lucius killed her for daring to inflict it. Their orders were only to kill if necessary; their master wanting certain Order members kept alive, Black being the one he wanted most of all. He had gone in pursuit of Weasley, and had watched in satisfaction as a ghoul had pierced the young man's flesh with his talons. Weasley's body had gone into paralysis, dropping to the ground and the ghoul had knelt, its sharpened teeth sinking into Weasley's upper left arm. Then...

Lucius shook his head in confusion. He could remember nothing else until he had felt the pain of his wound a few moments ago. He looked over to where he had last seen Weasley. All he could see were the remains of Alvin Muggleton, and a pile of charred remains nearby. Weasley's paralyzed body was missing. He told Dolohov what he remembered, and the man's dark eyes narrowed.

'We are all missing a piece of time. The ghouls our master summoned have been destroyed...these piles of ash are all that remains of them. Our master has not done this, and he is the only one who could...' Dolohov paused momentarily. 'Apart from Morgan Le Fay,' he finished.

Lucius let out a slow breath. 'Do you think she was with the Order when they attacked?'

'It makes sense, Lucius. How else could the Order have penetrated our master's defences? And she is the ancestor of his wife...who else would have summoned those ravens? The raven is her familiar.'

Lucius nodded, feeling a cold trickle of fear ripple through him. What Dolohov said rang true. The power and magic in the air during the battle had been strong, dark and ancient. No one had seen Morgan Le Fay in centuries, and legend said she could shape shift and transfigure with ease. She could easily have walked among them unseen if she chose to.

'But if she has been here and destroyed our master's ghouls, how can we not remember it? And why has she left us unharmed?'

Dolohov looked thoughtful. 'Either she has obliviated our memories...or...' Dolohov paced and walked around. He turned to Lucius again. 'Or she cast a time freezing spell. That would explain why we are missing what occurred. As for why she left us unharmed...well...Morgan Le Fay is an unknown quantity to us, and I suspect that she is a law unto herself, just as our master is. Let us be thankful that she chose to spare us, whatever her reasons may be.'

The rest of the Death Eaters began to gather around Dolohov and Lucius. Each of them confirmed that they too felt as if they had missed part of the battle.

'Did anyone capture Black? Has anyone seen him?' Dolohov demanded of the rest that had now joined them.

Rosier shook his head. 'I have not seen him among the injured or the dead.'

Dolohov looked to the others. 'Anyone else?' They shook their heads and murmured in the negative. Dolohov grimaced.

'Our master will be displeased if Black has managed to escape.' He looked to the group again. 'What about us? What casualties do we have?' Mulciber spoke. 'Some have been injured by the ravens that attacked us. And there are those savaged by a large, black dog...it mauled them and ripped out their throats.'

Amycus Carrow suddenly apparated among them, pushing himself to the centre of those gathered. 'Black has killed my sister!' He yelled, his eyes blazing. 'I'm going to rip out his innards! Goyle saw him with the girl!'

Goyle, who had also apparated behind him, nodded in agreement, his hair still frazzled and standing on end. 'It's true, Dolohov. Black was with the Dark Lord's wife in her room. The door was blasted off and Alecto was beneath it. I tried to hex Black, but our master's wife used her magic on me, and when I came around, they were gone!'

Crabbe apparated among the group, his search completed. 'The Dark Lord's wife is definitely missing, Dolohov. I have searched the house and grounds, and there is no sign of her!' Crabbe finished with a note of trepidation in his voice. Everyone assembled became uneasy at this news. They had made vows to protect their master's wife and unborn child. 'The Dark Lord will be furious,' said Rosier.

'Stating such a certainty is not going to help us!' Dolohov snarled. The group became silent, as Dolohov began pacing again impatiently.

'Father!'

Lucius turned to see that his wife and son had appeared behind the group. Draco was supporting his mother, who sank to the ground and began to wail, distraught sobs wracking through her body. His son's pale complexion was ashen and his eyes red rimmed. He went to them, kneeling to place an arm around his wife. He could get no response from her as she continued to cry, oblivious to him.

'What is it, Draco?' Lucius raised his eyes to his son. He'd expected Draco being hardened by now, but his son was not cut out for the realities of life as a follower of their master. He could act the part, but Lucius knew his son would readily forsake this life if he could.

'It...its Aunt Bella...' Draco paused to swallow and take a breath. 'She...she's dead.'

Despite only ever tolerating his sister-in-law for his wife and son's sake, the news shocked him. Bella had been too wild and headstrong for his tastes, the elegant and composed coolness of his wife's character being more to his liking. She had been beautiful years ago, but Bella's time in Azkaban had changed her personality from wild to unstable and marred her physical beauty.

'Dead?'

His son nodded, as his wife continued to mourn the loss of her one remaining sister. Her composure had vanished and the passions of grief had taken its place.

'Myself and mother were in the dungeons. We...we'd gone to check on Aunt Bella after she'd been returned to her cell. Mother was arguing with the guards to allow us in to tend to Aunt Bella.'

Draco paused, before speaking once more.

'Its so strange, father...that's the last thing I can recall before the guards let us into the cells. They too were...horrified by...what we found.'

His son looked as if he was going to vomit, and Lucius wondered what sight he had seen that could cause his son to look so ill.

'What? What did you find?'

The others had gathered behind them now, shocked by the news that Bellatrix LeStrange was dead. They wondered how their master would take it. Despite his decision to have a Dementor steal her soul as punishment for her disobedience, they imagined that he would not be pleased by the death of his former mistress and most loyal follower.

'Aunt Bella was lying on the floor of her cell. Her eyes were...bulging from their sockets...only the whites were showing. Her mouth was hanging open...and...and her body was twisted...squeezed of every last drop of life and energy it had contained.'

Draco let out a breath and knelt beside his mother, placing his hands around her body. Narcissa clutched at her son in comfort, her manicured nails digging into his shoulders. Ignoring the pain, Draco stroked her hair soothingly, feeling the moisture of her tears and warmth of her breath against his neck. He looked back at his father, whose hand rested against Narcissa's back.

'Their was another body in the cell with Aunt Bella. The guards could not explain it...Aunt Bella was the only occupant of the cell when they had placed her back there.'

'Who was the other body? Did you recognize them?'

Draco nodded in affirmation.

'Her body was in the same condition as Aunt Bella's...but I recognized her...it was Ruby Goddard.'

'Ruby Goddard? The pureblood traitor...daughter of Septimus and Zillah Goddard?'

Draco nodded again.

'How did she get into the cell, and who or what killed them both?' Lucius asked his son.

'We don't know...neither do the guards. All they can remember is myself and mother coming to speak to them. They have no recollection of letting anyone else into the cells.'

Lucius felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Dolohov.

'I told you she had been here, Lucius.'

Lucius raised himself and turned around.

'You really think she did this?'

Dolohov nodded. 'Who else? Bella was in no fit state to duel with the Goddard girl, and no one in the Order would kill both Bella and one of their own...but she would.'

'Who are you talking about?' Draco asked.

'Morgan Le Fay.'

Murmurs of shock rippled around the group.

'Dolohov believes Morgan is responsible for all of us missing time, and destroying the ghouls...' Lucius said, breaking through the shocked silence.

'You think she could do that?' Crabbe asked.

'We all know of her legend...she is capable of anything.' Dolohov answered.

The entire group began to feel the unease now. The remains of the Order had retreated, Black had escaped, probably with their master's wife. And Morgan Le Fay had walked among them.

'What do we do now?' Goyle asked, his tone nervous.

'Where is our master?' Amycus said.

Dolohov began to pace once more, looking upwards.

'Give me a moment!' He barked irritably, exhaling a breath. His attention shifted suddenly, as a bird began to descend from the sky, heading in his direction. As it came nearer, he recognized it, and held out his arm for the bird to land upon. The white-tailed eagle let out a cry as it gripped the black leather of his jacket with its claws, piercing through to the flesh. Dolohov ignored the pain, focusing on the small, scrolled note attached to the eagle's leg.

'Hello, Aquila,' Dolohov dipped his head respectfully and the cord that bound the scroll evaporated, the note hovering and then dropping into his outstretched hand.

'Goyle, hold out your arm for Aquila,' he commanded, and whispered to the eagle, who then flew over to Goyle's outstretched arm. Dolohov unfurled the note and began to read.

The others watched Dolohov closely. His face broke into a dark smile for a moment, before it faltered slightly. The note began to disintegrate into dust, before parchment, quill and ink appeared and hovered in the air before him. He began directing the quill to write upon the parchment, and once done, the parchment furled itself up tightly.

The quill and ink vanished, and he walked over to Goyle. He tied the scroll around the eagle's leg with black cord, stroking its head gently and whispering to it. The bird let out a harsh cry, before taking to the skies once more.

'What did the message say?' Rosier enquired.

Dolohov smiled. 'It was from our master.'

He looked to the rest of them. 'He has taken himself to a place of safety, for he has a most urgent matter to attend to. He will return when he has dealt with the matter and asks us to continue following his orders.'

They looked at one another, as Dolohov was not supplying further information.

'Myself and those I've chosen to follow my command will now go in pursuit of Black and the rest of the Order. Crabbe, Goyle...take charge of your troops and oversee the repairs to the house and wards, the burial of the dead, and the questioning of our prisoners.'

Lucius went back to his wife and son. 'Draco, return home with your mother and take care of her.' He knew his son was not in any state for further battle. 'Yes, father.'

Dolohov joined them. 'I am sorry for the loss of your sister and aunt,' he said. 'She was a talented witch, and will be much missed.' Narcissa continued to sob, but Draco acknowledged Dolohov's sympathies before apparating away with his mother.

Dolohov and Lucius made their way to Amycus Carrow, Dolohov placing a hand upon his shoulder. 'You have my sympathies on the loss of your sister, Amycus, but we need to take care of the situation before our master returns.'

He smiled at the man darkly. 'Now, what would you prefer to do? Question our prisoners, or hunt down Black with us?'

xox

The Safehouse, 11pm

After Sirius' abrupt departure, Rose's mind went into overdrive. She was unable to stop the anxiety consuming her, and her head filled with questions. Is he angry with me? Did I imagine the look he gave me? The whistling of the kettle brought her back to the moment and her heart thumped in surprise at the noise. Going into the kitchen, she rescued the kettle from the hob and began searching the cupboards, eventually finding cups, milk, and some bread and butter. The thoughts raised themselves again, and Rose stared absently out of the window.

Where are we, mummy? His voice rescued her from her torment, and Rose placed a hand on her stomach, her anxiety subsiding a little. Whatever lay ahead for her, at least she had her boy, and Rose knew that she would fight anyone, kill anyone, even die to protect him if necessary. The love she felt for him already was so strong, so unlike anything she had known.

'We are somewhere safe, away from your father.'

Father was being bad to you...I don't like it. Why is he so bad?

'Let's not talk about it now, little one...it's hard to explain. Let mummy rest and have some tea and toast. We'll both feel better for it.'

There was a pause, and then her baby's voice spoke again. Who is the man who came for you? Rose smiled at the question.

'That man is Sirius Black...he's my...friend, and we are safe with him.'

Do you love him, mummy? I felt the nice feeling inside you when you saw him. I like that nice feeling...I feel it between you and me. Rose shivered at her child's perceptiveness. He was just a seed inside her, yet already he was sensing feelings and emotions. Was this usual for a child of magical parents? And able to converse from the womb with her...was that normal too? She had no-one to ask, and her head full of questions that wanted answers. You rest now, little one. He became quiet once more and Rose finished making the tea and toast, taking it over to the armchair near the fire.

She pulled the cover from the back of the chair again and placed it around her shoulders. She settled down, forcing herself to eat the toast and drink two cups of tea, starting each time she heard a noise, her heart pounding with anxiety. Calm down, he'll be back soon.

After almost an hour of waiting, she rested her head back, listening to the crackling of the wood and watching the sparks fly up. Sparks from a fire. Voldemort's voice, and the words he had said in her dreams echoed around her head. No! Rose pushed the remembrance away, closing her eyes and focusing on the rhythmic ticking of the clock...

The sound of the door being closed roused her from the light sleep she had drifted into. Her body jerked and she jumped out of the chair. What's wrong mummy? He was also startled by her sudden movement. He stared at her, his eyes dark and searching. He didn't speak, turning away from her and going into the kitchen. The emotions she'd sensed from him earlier still radiated from him, and Rose felt them slither towards her.

'Sirius...what's happening? Where are the others? Are you okay?'

She couldn't help but fire questions at him. Where was Morgan? Rose expected her here, demanding the Dark Amber stone and exacting punishment for resisting her plans. This whole situation was confusing and she wanted to make sense of it.

But the oppressive atmosphere between herself and Sirius overrode all the other questions that wanted answers. This was more important to her now. He exhaled a heavy breath, still facing away from her, and remaining silent.

'Sirius...'

She spoke his name, breaking the silence again.

'Voldemort is gone...we've lost him.'

His words stopped her. As did the tone of his voice. Hard, cold, causing her stomach to fill with dread.

'I've sent a message to the others, to find out who made it back from the battle. No one knows we are here...It's just you and me tonight.'

He became silent again, still with his back to her. Rose, full of frustration and longing, walked over to him, softly placing her hand upon his back. He stiffened and jerked his body away from her touch, as if it had physically burned him. Rose's body flinched, as if she had been hit.

'Sirius.'

Rose said his name gently, fighting to keep the tears from spilling out. Still he remained silent, and it was unbearable.

'Look at me, Sirius.'

The stronger tone of her voice elicited a response. He slammed down the cup he held and turned to her, his eyes filled with an anger that scared her.

'Talk to me!' She cried out.

'About what?' His tone remained as cold as his eyes.

'Why you are so angry with me! Why you wont come near me or even have me touch you!' She saw a glint of fury in his eyes.

'Why do you think?'

Rose forced down the hurt, her hand resting on her stomach.

'Because of this? Is that it?'

She searched his face and saw an emotion that she couldn't read.

'It's true then.'

She nodded, swallowing the lump of sadness in her throat.

'Kreacher told you...'

Her voice trailed off as she felt and saw his anger rise up.

'You have no idea how it feels for me! Knowing that his child is inside of you...that he's had his hands on you...it makes me sick...it's...its disgusting!'

He spat the words out, and Rose felt as if she'd been hit in the stomach. Did he think she was disgusting?

He headed in her direction and Rose moved away from the doorway, allowing him past. He headed to the fireplace, his hands gripping the mantle as he stared into the flames intently.

Rose fought to control her hurt and anger once more, trying to put herself in his place, imagine how he must feel. He was hurting, and he didn't mean it...he couldn't.

'I know it is hard for you, but it's not the baby's fault who his father is...and...I didn't choose this.' Rose sighed wearily before continuing. 'But it's done...its happening, and we can't go back.'

Rose swallowed when she saw his reaction to her direct assessment of the situation. Perhaps she was too direct, but no words could soften the reality they were in. She wanted to agree with Sirius, but she found that she couldn't.

For her to say that the situation was disgusting would be to agree that her baby was too...and he wasn't. She would defend him against the entire world. He wasn't born yet, he was innocent and wonderful...something good. The only good thing his dad will ever give to the world. Rose hated that Voldemort had a hand in creating this life inside her, that the miracle of her son would not exist without him. Reality hit her all over again.

'Its done...' He laughed harshly, his eyes still fixed upon the fire. 'You throw the truth at me so bluntly, so happy about it!'

Rose felt her defenses rise, stung by the words Sirius hit back at her with.

'I'm not trying to hurt you, Sirius, but yes, I'm happy that my baby is growing inside me...I want him.'

He looked up from from the hearth and stared at her, his eyes expressing revulsion.

'You want that thing inside you?'

Rose again felt as if his words struck her physically.

'He's my son! He's not a thing...how can you say that to me?'

'Because of who his father is! Have you forgotten that...or does it not concern you?'

Her own anger was beginning to bubble up inside her. He was subjecting her to the acid sting of his Scorpio nature.

'I think about it every waking minute, and it scares the hell out of me! But I'm not having my child demonized because of his father. He was a human being once, despite what he's become...'

Why had she said that? She swore at herself inwardly and he moved away from the hearth, heading back towards her. She remained still, clenching her fists, her nails piercing her palms. His fury was even more oppressive, almost drawing the air from her body.

'I can't believe you! Defending him...defending Voldemort!' He snarled the words at her, his teeth gritted.

He moved even closer to her, invading her space, but she did not step back from him.

'Have you forgotten everything that bastard has done? My friends and my godson are all dead because of him! He stopped being human a long time ago!'

Having taken the full force of his anger, Rose spoke once more.

'I'm not defending him, and I haven't forgotten anything Voldemort's done! You're misunderstanding me!' She reached out to touch him again, and he swatted her hand away, turning his back on her.

Rose felt lost and hurt. All she wanted to do was defend her boy, and make Sirius understand...make the loathing and anger leave his face. The hand she had reached out with returned to her side and she clenched it once more.

'I'm trying to tell you that my baby is innocent in all this. That I'm not going to have him suffer abuse or prejudice because of who his dad is. He wont be anything like his father. I'll raise him the best that I can, and hopefully he'll inherit the best qualities of us both.'

Rose cursed herself again for her choice of words, as he let out a hard laugh, turning back to her.

'The best of Voldemort? What would that be exactly? I'd love to know what wonderful qualities you've seen in him that you'd like that creature to inherit!'

He gestured to her abdomen with loathing on his face.

'You're going to let that bastard's spawn grow inside you and be born into the world...how can you want that!'

Rose felt she did not know the man who stood before her. He was looking at her as if he hated her. This man, who had told her he loved her, was calling her baby a creature. He was pushing her too far...she wouldn't take much more.

'You say it can't be changed, Rose...but we both know it can. There are ways and means...and it's not too late...yet.'

Rose knew what he meant...termination. End her baby's life before it had begun.

She felt the hot fury inside her rise up. The urge in her to curse him was so intense, so strong. She felt and heard her magic and her rage whispering to her.

Do it.

Reverberations could be felt around the room and then the sound filled the atmosphere. They began to splinter simultaneously, and then crack. Every piece of glass and crockery shattering and breaking. The shards hovered in the air, the firelight dancing and reflecting in the glass.

The night air crept into the room from the now-empty window frames and caressed them both, and the rage in her eyes burned for a few moments longer before it extinguished. Rose exhaled a breath and let go, the shards dropping to the ground as she released her hold.

She stood motionless for a moment, her eyes gazing into the distance. Then she spoke, her eyes fixing upon him again.

'If I didn't love you, l would have made every single shard pierce your body for what you said.'

Their eyes locked together and Rose tried to read his. She couldn't be sure, but for a moment she thought she'd seen anger, admiration, shock and disappointment in those eyes that she loved.

'I never thought that you of all people could say things so incredibly cruel and hurtful to me.'

Her voice was now the one that was cold and hard.

'I have never considered...even once...getting rid of my baby. I never wanted this to happen, and you know that. But it has, and I won't regret it...he's part of me.'

She continued staring at him, and his expression had changed again, but it was still unfathomable.

'He's part of you?'

He looked at her searchingly.

'The child is part of you? Or Voldemort? Or both?'

Rose was unnerved by his questions, but determined not to show it. She stayed silent and pressed herself against the wall. His face was inches from hers, his left hand gripping the kitchen door frame and his right hand up against the wall, blocking her in place.

'I want you to tell me everything that has happened between you and him.'

His eyes studied her intently, and a knot of guilt sprang up inside her, but she pushed it back down.

'No.'

She watched his breathing, and the pulse in his neck throbbing.

'No?'

'I'm not talking about it.'

'Why not? Have you got something to hide, Rose?'

She knew what he was asking, and she could not go there with him...he would not understand, and the truth would break the bond between them irreparably.

She made to push him away and create distance between them, but he grabbed her by the arms, pushing her back, his hands gripping her tightly.

'You haven't answered me.'

She tried to push him away again but he tightened his hold, keeping her in place.

'Let me go.'

He ignored her demand.

'Take your hands off me.'

'Not until you answer me.'

'I'm not answering you.'

'Then I'm not letting you go.'

The anger from them both filled the room. Rose had never seen Sirius like this before, and she didn't like it. She somehow managed to lift up her right hand and place it against his abdomen. He was surprised at her touch and she took her chance.

'Aaahh!'

He let go of her arms, stepping back in shock as his brain sent signals to his nerve endings and he felt the pain. Rose moved away as he pulled open his shirt and saw the bright red imprint of her hand on his stomach. The intense heat was excruciating, and he cast a cooling spell upon it. The imprint began to fade, as did the intense burning.

'I never thought you would ever touch me like that, and if you do it again, I'll hex you far worse.'

Again, his expression was difficult to read; a confusing mix of emotions surfacing briefly and then disappearing. He was making an effort to take control of them, but it was too late. Her head throbbed, and she felt weary. Her anger was now turning into tears, and she couldn't do this anymore.

'Rose...'

'No.'

He'd made to move towards her, his hand reaching out to her.

'Stay away from me.'

He dropped his hand back to his side and stared at her, the tension in his body visible.

'Reparo.'

Glass and broken crockery flew around the room and then everything was mended once more. But the bond between herself and Sirius was frayed and torn...it couldn't be mended so easily.

'I'm going to find a bed and lie down. I need to rest, for the sake of my baby. He comes first now...before you, before Voldemort.'

She'd turned and started to walk away, but halted, looking back to him once more.

'You know that Voldemort would love this, Sirius. It's exactly what he'd want...the pair of us fighting and tearing at one another. Well If you want to oblige him, carry on. But I'll leave you to do it on your own.'