CONTENT WARNING: This chapter gets a little dark, so be warned.

Song Suggestion: I Can't Breathe by Bea Miller

MAVEN

She's gone. I know she is. And I'm the reason I'll never see her again.

There is still a chance, I tell myself. She's survived so much, this can't be the way it happens. Not by my hand, not again.

She's dead, I killed her.

I killed her.

I killed her.

Just like I killed Thomas. They are both gone because of me.

This isn't real.

I pace in my bedroom now, eyeing the cold undisturbed sheets. The living area is in ruins from this morning.

It's been three days since the assault.

She was supposed to come back yesterday. No one showed.

I curse that damn pilot, the one that dropped the missile. I curse this plan, I curse my brother a million times for his inability to say no, and going through with the damn wedding in the first place.

But more than anyone, I curse myself.

I trusted Mare. I believed in her. I knew deep down she was strong enough to make it back to me. But the more compelling part of me. The part that controls most of my decisions, the parasite that my mother created inside my head knew it was a bad idea.

For a foolish moment, I believed I had a hand on it. I let Mare go even when the obsession screamed at me not to. And now I feel like maybe shouldn't have.

And now I don't even know if the attack was worth the resources.

I find myself with my back against a wall and slowly I lose my grip on whatever sanity I have left. I hit the ground then I'm tearing at my hair.

The black strands break off and drift in the air. Some land on my arms, I swipe them away. They remind me too much of my father. He is the reason why I'm on this wretched path in the first place. If he had just taken the time to even look my way for more than just a comparison none of this would have been necessary.

I scratch at my skin, trying fruitlessly to swipe away the strands so much I break the skin.

And then I tear at my hair again and repeat the cycle.

I bring my legs up to my chest and hot tears fall from my face.

"I did this," I say aloud. "She's gone and she's never coming back."

I put my face in my hands, surrendering to the magnified grief and pain when I hear soft graceful footsteps. And clench my fists. I'm in no mood to deal with my mother now.

But then small hands close around mine. I know these hands. I've held them more times than I can count.

"Maven."

I keep my eyes closed, afraid that if I open them it'll be just my imagination. Another ghost, like my mother.

"Maven look at me."

And then slowly I open my eyes, and there she is, as strong as I remember. I run my fingers through her hair. They move down through the rough brown and then to the lifeless ends.

I always thought that if there was one thing I disliked most about Mare, it wouldn't be the bitterness or her hatred towards me, it would be the faded ends of her hair. It's evidence that she had suffered and I wish that I could somehow make up for it.

"You're alive," I say, needing it to be real.

"Yes," she whispers.

I expected Mare to be saltier, but apparently, she is just as affected by the days' past events as I am.

"Why didn't you come back?" I speak quietly, afraid that if I speak too loud then some force will separate us again.

"I tried," she says, shaking her head in memory. "But with everything that's happened, I couldn't rush over here without attracting suspicion. We have to play our cards right."

I take her face in my hands, "I was so afraid I lost you."

Mare lets out a humorous huff, "Can't get rid of me that easily."

I smile and, hesitantly, let my hands drop. Mare shifts in front of me and crosses her legs and I shift and do the same, wiping my eyes in the process.

"So what happened?"

"Well," Mare reaches up and begins to smooth down my hair. "A missile did drop close enough to kill, but apparently I do have some luck. Davidson decided to grace me with his presence and threw up a shield just before any of the shrapnel could get to me. What about you?"

"We sent in three squadrons, thirty-six pilots. We lost seventeen."

"I brought down about six. I had to make it look good."

"You were always great at putting on a show. I have no doubt they believed you."

"And Iris?"

"She's disappointed that Volo Samos still lives but I assured her he won't be in the next month."

Mare nods, "What about you?"

"What about me?"

Mare takes both my hands in hers, "Maven, I saw you. You don't need to pretend with me." I drop my gaze, ashamed.

"I didn't mean for you to see that."

"Why? I've seen worse sides of you."

"Not that side." For this she says nothing. "I've tried so hard to keep it under control. And then I thought...I thought-"

"You don't need to explain."

"No, I need to, Mare. So you can understand." She hands move to my forearms, over the scratches. "Then tell me."

I sigh. "After the day of the wedding. When you were gone, something happened deep inside me. It felt like a tightness in my chest, like my heart was being torn from my chest, but amplified tenfold. And for those weeks, I felt...empty. Void of any ambition and it killed something in me. And when you came back, the emptiness disappeared, at least for a little while. And when I'm with you, I couldn't care less what we're doing, because just being in the same room with you makes me feel-"

"Alive."

Our eyes meet.

"I get it. I even feel the same way."

"How?"

"It's a conversation a for another time. Right now, can we just we just enjoy what time we have?"

I nod without hesitation. I shift against the wall and Mare scoots over to sit next to me. I strap my arm around her shoulder and hold her close.

She leans her head on my shoulder and places her hand on my chest. I hold her tighter to me, so much it must hurt. But Mare says nothing. We don't do anything more than sit in silence. I don't mind and right now I even prefer it.

Mare runs her hands over the scratch marks on my arms. Her fingers are warm, almost feverish, but I feel the pain begin to dull under her touch. Like just her presence alone could heal the world entire.

Briefly, I wonder if this is how my father felt every time he took a drink. Is this what an addict feels like every time they ingest a drug?

Because I feel complete.

At this point, I don't care what I look like. I don't care about that shit crown or the fools that await me tomorrow.

Right now I just focus on Mare. There is something she's not telling me. Something happened that day. And I intend to find out what it is.

ANALYSIS

Okay so let's start clearing things up a little. Let's talk about what went down at the Lerolan Estate. Yes, it was an attack. But it wasn't the "big one". The way it is, when I go see a movie, specifically action/adventure movies, there are typically three major action scenes. The first occurs in the beginning to grab the audience's attention. Take the movie Transformers. The first action scene was the scene in the desert. Then there is another one somewhere in the middle. In this case, the attack on the Lerolan Estate is the middle action scene. Then there is the final action scene. In a movie this final "battle", for the lack of a better word, takes up a lot of time in the movie. And as I look at my outline here, the final battle will be written over the course of five chapters. When we get into the Chapter 30s the story is going to pick up the pace.

Moving on, let's talk Maven. I haven't gotten any question on why Maven is acting like he is, so I'm guessing I'm doing a good job. But this chapter sort of explains why he is so kind compared to the way he acted King's Cage. But I also wanted to show that Maven is very… disturbed. I can't think of a better word to subscribe it. I wanted to write in a reminder that Maven is still messed up. And next chapter I'll go into it more. You'll get to see how aware he is of his mentality. I also wanted stress how self-centered both Mare and Maven are.

I never thought of Mare as selfish, but closer to self-centered. No matter how hard she tries she lives in her own little world. Maven, on the other hand, is both. Maven says he lost 17 pilots. So almost half of what he sent. But all he cares about is Mare. And when he things like "worth the resources," it shows that he is not a good guy and Mare is very aware of that. I don't want any anyone to be confused.

Also, CarlyCalore19 all questions will be answered in chapter 28. I just have to grammar check and add a song. So that should be posted a day or two after these two.

Stay tuned my children! I have so much in store!