A/N: Thanks for reading. Enjoy!
"Was or is?" I turn my head and see my mom coming from the bedroom with a basket of clothes in her arms. "Hold on."
"I didn't mean to interrupt your call, but I'm going downstairs to do some laundry."
"Ok.", I smile even though smiling is the last thing I want to do now. I'd rather cry or scream, but I can't. She moves to the door and adjusts the basket to wave and open the door. Once she's gone, I move the phone back to my ear. "My mom came into the room, and the last thing I want is for her to hear me having this conversation. Where were we? Oh yes! You managed to have time to see a former sub, but you're too busy for me to visit. Gotcha."
"I didn't set out to see Leila.", he sighs. "Yesterday was the first time I've seen in since I ended our contract almost two years ago."
"Why did you end the contract?"
"She wanted what I couldn't give her...more. It wasn't until I met you that I wanted a real relationship." Any other time I would be swooning over his declaration, but I'm not.
"Ok. I'm going to give you a chance to explain why you would have rather spent with a former sub who you haven't seen in almost two years than with me. You can either do so or not. It's up to up, but just know that a lot is riding on your answer."
"I'll tell you. I didn't set out to see Leila. After arriving in New York, I got a call from Oliver Newton, the CEO of Newton Corp. He wanted us to meet for a late lunch where we could start getting things ironed out. I agreed. We were there for almost two hours before deciding to meet up again today. As Taylor and I were on the way to the car, I saw Leila on the other side of the street. She was trying to hail a taxi but immediately froze when she saw me. Like I said, I hadn't seen her in over two years, but she looked the same except for her eyes. They were hollow and emotionless. She found an opening in the traffic and staggered across the street to where I was. When she got to me, she put her head down."
"In a sub stance?", I ask.
"Basically. I told her since she was no longer my sub that she didn't have to follow the old rules. She finally looked up and said hi. Like her eyes, her voice was weak. I asked how she had been, and she just started bawling. The more I asked what was wrong, the more she cried. It was getting crowded around us so I suggested that Taylor drop her off wherever she lives."
"How sweet of you."
"Ana, I felt bad for her, ok? I wasn't the nicest guy during our contract so I guess I felt..." As pissed as I am at him, part of me understands why he made the suggestion.
"Like you owed it to her.", I mutter.
"Yes. She got in the car and started opening up about her life since us. She moved to New York where she met a guy. After a whirlwind courtship, they decided at the spur of the moment to get married. Things were good until she found out that he slept with one of her friends." I shift on the sofa and rest my head against the back as I recall all too well the feeling of finding out that Bryant cheated on me.
"I've been there." Am I there again? "What happened next?"
"She's been staying with another friends who constantly berates her. They had a big blowup yesterday so Leila just walked out. She knew that she couldn't continue staying there, but the only other place she could go was to a cousin who lives in Manhattan. Her cousin said she could stay there but not until next week since she's out of town with work."
"Now we're getting to the good part. Let me guess, your guilt took over once again, and you invited her to stay at your place. Did she sleep in your bed?"
"Ana, you're the only woman who has ever shared my bed." That doesn't mean nothing happened! "We took her to where she had been staying and waited for her to pack a few things. She plans to get the rest later. We then went to the Plaza Hotel where I had called and made a reservation for her." Maybe they did the deed in the hotel room.
"I need a minute.", I stammer while processing what's been said and anticipating what's about to be said. "Continue."
"After she got out of the car at the hotel, it felt like a bucket of cold water hit me and woke me up. I had been too occupied with the guilt I feeling that I didn't see clearly. I rolled my window down and motioned for her to not go anywhere because I had some questions for her."
"You weren't going to accompany into the hotel?"
"I wasn't planning to, no. As I was getting out, you called. I should have told you from the beginning what was going on, but I didn't. Leila moved closer to me and said that she was waiting. I wondered if you had heard her."
"Oh, I heard her all right.", I hiss.
"Telling you that I didn't want you with me was difficult. I wanted so bad to fall asleep with you in my arms last night, but I knew that I needed to get to the bottom of what was going on. The last thing I wanted was to drag you into who knows what." Concern has now replaced the anger I was feeling. "Once our call was over, I told Leila that we needed to talk, and it was going to be on my terms. So, once her bags had been taken to her room, she got back in the car."
"Explain the bucket of cold water comment."
"I wasn't a hundred percent sure, but it struck me that of all places for Leila to be in New York, it was odd for her to have been across the street from where my lunch meeting took place. It could have been a coincidence. I still needed to know. I asked if her being there was pure accident or not. She swore up and down that she had no idea I would be there. This nagging feeling kept at me so I kept asking." Could it be? Could Leila have set things up? "She finally admitted that she had seen me go into the restaurant and had decided to wait on me to leave."
"She waited for almost two hours? Doesn't that sound a little...what's the word...stalkerish?", I ask as Kate opens the door.
"I thought so too.", he responds. "She claimed that she merely wanted to see me." Kate's looking at me curiously but goes into her bedroom, leaving me with more questions than ever.
"How did you deal with her?"
"I wished her well and dropped her back off at the hotel where she's going to stay until Monday. Do you think I should have let stay out on the street?"
"I'm not that cruel.", I say.
"Ana, I know my explanation may not be good enough, but it's the truth. I promise with all my heart that it's the truth. I should have be honest with you yesterday."
"I believe you, but like you said, you should have told me from the beginning. When are going to stop this one step forward and two steps back between us? It's exhausting. Look, I already had a headache and now have a bigger one so I'm going to get some aspirin and rest for a bit. I'll talk to you later."
"Ok. I love you Ana.", he says, making my heart flutter and my eyes brim with tears.
"Love you too." I place the phone down on the sofa next to me and wipe my eyes. I get up and start towards the bathroom for some aspirin when Kate comes back into the room.
"What's going on with you?", she asks.
"Nothing. I've just got a headache from last night. I can't believe I had that many drinks.", I groan.
"It wasn't that many although it was more than your usual number. Ana, you said last night nothing was going on, but the way you've been acting and the tears in your eyes tell a different story. Is it because of Christian being in New York?" Technically, it's because Christian's in New York where he saw a former sub.
"Um, yeah.", I shrug.
"He'll be home tomorrow night, and the two of you can make up for lost time."
"Ethan, your place is looking great.", I tell him as I admire the new furniture he's placed in his living room. The sofa and love seat are both black and are complimented by the framed black and white photos on the wall. "Are those some you took?" I admire the photos that appear to have been taken in the park.
"They are. I was having lunch in the park the other day and just started snapping away. My favorite is of that one on the left." He points to a photo of an elderly couple holding hands. "They held hands the entire time. They walked around for a few minutes before coming over to the bench where I was sitting. I moved over so they could sit down. Clarence and Rebecca were their names. The three of us made small talk until the discussion turned to love. Rebecca said they've been married for over fifty years but have been in love for sixty. They dated when they were younger but lost contact when Clarence's family moved to Maine. She dated but never fell in love again. One day, she and a friend were at the movies when a guy behind them started choking on his popcorn. She got out of her seat and rushed to the back of the dark theater to help him. After she had saved him, she finally got a good look at him and saw that it was Clarence. He had just moved back from Maine. Clarence then took over and told me that Rebecca had saved him in more ways than one."
"That's sweet. They sound like a nice couple."
"They were. They asked if I take photo assignments. I gave them my number, and they're supposed to get in touch with me to schedule a photo shoot for their family, including kids and grandkids. Max and I haven't been seeing each other long, but who knows. I think everyone wants that once in a lifetime love. Don't you agree?" I think of Christian and what was said between us. I love him so much that it scares me, but going around in circles isn't good for either of us.
"I completely agree.", I answer. "I'm probably going to sound like Kate with her pestering, but how are you and Max?"
"We're great. I just wish that I hadn't been so scared to come out to everyone. I lost valuable time by not doing it sooner."
"What matters is you have each other now."
"I'm going to get a soda and grab some chips. Do you want something?", he asks.
"No. I actually need to get back to the apartment and make myself productive. I've been a slacker today."
"Isn't that what the weekend is for?"
"Maybe.", I giggle as I open the door. "I'll see you later." After I've closed the door and started walking to the elevator, my phone rings. Pulling it from my pocket, I see that it's Christian. It's been a few hours since our conversation, and although I've calmed a little, I'm still upset. "Hey."
"Hi. I wasn't sure if I should call you or not but..I've got news about Leila.", he breathes. "She called me a few minutes ago."
"Called you? You exchanged numbers."
"No. She claimed that she remembered my number. When she called, she was crying and telling me that she never meant to cause me any trouble, that she was only doing what she was told. I asked who she was referring to, and she said Elena." That bitch! She keep weaseling her way into our lives in any way that she can find.
"I've got something to do but will call you back.", I hiss without giving him a chance to respond.
"I'm sure Mr. Grey wouldn't like that you're here.", Sawyer says as I pull my keys from the ignition. I glance at Esclava and debate whether I should go in. After Christian told me that Elena was behind Leila's appearance, I headed to my car with the intent of getting my point across to the bitch troll. Sawyer of course refused to let me go on my own and even tried to convince me to stay, but I'm done being nice.
"I brought you with me so that should help ease him somewhat." I push my door open and and hit the pavement with him reluctantly following me. As I step into the salon, a blonde dressed in a white dress saunters towards me.
"Can I help you?", she asks. I scan the room in search of the bitch, spotting her behind the counter.
"I'm here to see Mrs. Lincoln."
"Do you have an appointment?" Elena must have heard the sound of her name and is now moving to us.
"She doesn't need one.", Elena grins. "Ana's a friend. Ana, darling, why don't we go into my office so we can catch up?" She looks behind me and rolls her eyes at Sawyer. "He can come too." Sawyer and I follow her into an office on the right side of the building. "How are you?"
"I'd be better if you would learn once and for all to keep your nose out of my and Christian's buisness."
"I'm sorry. I'm not following you." She sits down behind a large all glass desk, resting her chin on her hands. "Why don't you explain yourself?"
"I'm not sure of all the details, but I heard that you had a former sub of Christian's show up at the resturant where he was in New York."
"You're going to have to be more specific since Christian had several subs."
"Leila.", I snarl.
"Leila, hmmm. I think I met her once. You say that she was in New York where Christian was? Interesting. Are you sure that he hasn't rekindled that contract?"
"He hasn't. Leila admitted that you had her show up." Her botoxed face drops at my revelation. "Is that not how you saw things going?"
"Christian brought Leila here during their time together so she knew me. I guess she understood the connection between me and Christian so when he ended things, she came to me and wanted me to convince him to take her back. I refused and told her to move on. She took my advice. I never told Christian because I didn't want him to feel bad about things. Flash forward to a few weeks ago when I was in New York where Leila was living. She had sent me a letter last year and told me how well she was doing in a new marriage. I decided to drop by and see her. I went to her apartment and found that she no longer than lived there. Her husband answered the door and told me that they had split up. He gave me the address of the friend she was staying with. When I arrived there, I saw that she wasn't ok. I believed it was because of her marriage ending. She asked about Christian, but I only told her that he's in a relationship. She looked numb when I told her. Maybe she's had a breakdown over the news that the man who swore off relationships is in one. Yes, that's probably it. She's making up lies about me to help cover for herself."
"Or she could be telling the truth. You have the habit of meddling where you don't belong. When are you finally going to realize that Christian doesn't want you?"
"He wanted me once before."
"You had him brainwashed before. He's woken up and seen the light. He's seen you for the miserable and conniving bitch that you are. I'm the one who he wants. I'm the one who he loves. Me. Not you."
"You keep telling yourself that, but eventually, he's going to wake up and see that you've done nothing but ruin his life. He could have already done that." She taps her chin. "He could very well be flogging and fucking Leila as we speak." I lose all control over my right hand as it makes contact with her face. Sawyer, anticipating a counter attack moves forward.
"No need to protect her. I'm not going to hit back.", she snaps while rubbing her reddened cheek. "The destruction of her relationship will be enough payback."
"Keep spewing your acidic words. They mean nothing.", I sneer before leaving her to lick her wounds.
Following my altercation with Elena, I expected a call from Christian, but I haven't heard a word from him. I figured that she would call and whine to him or that Sawyer would let him know. I almost called to tell him but decided against it. Hours later, I'm sitting in the living room while pondering the state of my relationship. I need honesty in a relationship, but it keeps eluding me. Kate's out with Elliot while my mom's in the kitchen making our late dinner of Chicken Tetrazzini.
"Dinner isn't ready yet but should be soon.", she says.
"Ok.", I murmur.
"I don't know how good it's going to be since it's the first time I've made it a while. Bob never cared for it."
"I'm sure it's going to be delicious." She looks at the tv that I'm staring at even though it's not on.
"Watching tv might be easier if you turned it on.", she jokes. "I know that I haven't been around in the past when you needed an ear or a shoulder, but I'm here now if you want to talk."
"I appreciate that, but I'm ok.", I reply as there's a knock at the door. My mom tosses the dish towel in her hand over her shoulder and goes to see who's there.
"Ana, you've got company." I turn and find Christian standing by the door with a tiny smile on his face. My mom looks between us and then at the kitchen. "I'm going to check on dinner."
"You just did. Christian and I are going to go for a walk." He nods and holds his hand out to help me to my feet. "I'll be back soon."
Both of us remain silent during the elevator ride downstairs and out of the building. We've stolen a few glances at each other here and there, but that's been it. Outside, we begin walking down the sidewalk before he stops us.
"I've got a list of things to say, but I don't know where to begin.", he sighs.
"Hi could be a good starting point."
"You're right. Hi."
"I didn't think you were going to be back until tomorrow."
"I finished early. What all did you do today?", he asks, curling his lips into a smile.
"You know about my visit to Elena, don't you?"
"Sawyer called me. He said you handled her well. I'm proud of you and pissed at myself. You shouldn't have been in that position to begin with. I try and try to put my past behind me, but it keeps coming back."
"Elena's stubborn."
"It's not just Elena. It's my entire past. If I hadn't have been such a fucked up guy none of this would be happening. You need more than me."
"Christian, I've spent all day wracking my brain over what's been going on, and even though we keep having setbacks, I can't and won't stop loving you."
"You should." He runs his hands through his hair and looks down. "Ana, this needs to end." I must be hearing things.
"What? What do you mean by "this"?"
"Us.", he mutters. "Your happiness trumps anything else. I want to be the one who gives you that, but I keep failing. You've wasted too many tears on idiotic and undeserving people, one being me. I don't deserve you which I why I'm going to let you go."
"No." I shake my head and reach for him.
"It's what's best."
"What's best is us being together. Yes I deserve happiness, and that's with you! You love me, right?"
"So fucking much.", he answers.
"One thing I love about you is your unwillingness to give up. You wouldn't take no when we first met, and look what that led to. It led to the most powerful love that I've ever experienced. I'm taking a page from your book and refusing to take no. Do you hear me? You and I are nowhere near being done." I grab the side of his face and yank him against my lips, kissing him with all the strength I have in my body. We continue kissing for several moments before he pulls away. I pray that he's gotten the message. "With me?" He pulls me against his chest and inches his lips against ear.
"With you.", he whispers.