Fragmentation 1.9
(Yung Venuz)
Yung Venuz was NOT having a good day.
He'd had days like this before, like when the Mole people first invaded his mansion on Venus, later becoming his followers under his command, or when he lost the key to his golden car and later discovered he'd fused it with his screwdriver by accident, but this one took the metaphorical cake.
It started with his urge for fun, as most of his problems usually did, because being immortal generally left gods bored. He had decided to go exploring the multiverse as gods such as himself did.
Well, he hadn't actually met many gods other than his cousin Yung Cuz, but he imagined they vacationed in the multiverse.
Anyway, since he was the God of Guns, he had desired a world with violence, somewhere he could shoot things that died. Preferably things that were evil, but that was usually irrelevant.
He noticed a certain chunk that was intriguing to him, twisting into itself similarly to one of Yung Cuz's pretzels, but in the eldritch horror kind of way.
It was a multiversal chunk that was, put simply, broken. Violently broken.
Deliciously violent, full of combat, crazies, and adventure.
He was stunned.
How had he not seen this before? The doom and gloom of this chunk was utterly beautiful, faintly glowing with a sheen of radiation, inhabited by cross-jumping policemen, and full of things begging to be shot.
"Cuz!" Venuz yelled over to his cousin "I'm going on vacation! I'm linking the mansion up to a new multiverse sector, and I may be indisposed, so take care of the house."
"Can't the Mole Men take care of that?" Yung Cuz questioned "I mean, it is their job after all."
"Just do your chores Cuz, you still need to get a house of your own someday and stop mooching off of my glorious self."
Cuz sputtered indignantly.
"Wh-what n-no no, I'm not… mooching. I'm… taking a break. Yeah. It's only a break."
"Right, and you're the one paying for the 20 tons of Trichips you eat every week. Whatever Cuz, just don't die while I'm gone."
"I can't die, I'm too busy to die."
"And being the god of laziness has nothing to do with that." Y.V. laughed out as he warped away.
"Hey!"
He found a world with ten semi-sane beings sitting near each other and decided to say hi. Sure, Y.V. wasn't knowledgeable in basic tactics, but he was immortal, so what did he care for that?
'Pop'
The ten other beings turned towards the new arrival with a peculiar look. Almost as if they'd never seen a floating triangle before.
Sitting around a fire were ten mutated mortals, a green fish man with a guitar, a purple crystal man, a blue multi-eyed mushroom thing, a white and green Venus Fly Trap plant, an overly muscular human, a robotic trashcan with a red eye, a chicken man with a sword and a television of all things (self-powered, weird), a figure wrapped in bandages and a blue scarf, a ball of green radiation, and a woman in an odd techno wizard getup. There was also a bubbling pile of flesh near the fish, but he wasn't sure what exactly that was.
"You here for the Throne too?" the fish with the guitar asked.
Y.V. could hear the capital 'T' "Uhhh, which throne? I've got a great golden one at home."
Some of the others were looking at him like he was insane, like the one in bandages and the crystal, but some, like the muscular human had ignored him, as if expecting oddities. Maybe they just didn't care at this point.
"The Nuclear Throne? The cure to all of this dimensional bullshit? Never heard of it before?" The crystalline being asked incredulously.
"Nope, I'm from out of town." Now everyone turned in surprise "What? Never had extra-dimensional beings come to visit before?"
"They was the cause" The robot spoke "The Inter Dimensional Police Department journeyed the void and triggered the Great Twist, tying together the worlds of radiation, leading to…"
"Robot," Fish interrupted "I know you may believe what the Snowies told you, but they were raised by a crazed IDPD agent with a flame jetpack and bouncer weapons, you can't believe whatever he tells people."
IDPD huh? Seems the police in this universe are crazy too, like those demonic ones he'd met a few multiverses to the left.
"You guys know that I'm technically a crazed IDPD agent right?" The blue covered woman asked
"Well, yeah," the bandaged one, who, he now realized, was a lady, rasped "But you're crazed because you went rogue, and Hunter's crazed because he barbecues his minions for fun."
"Can't argue with that."
"So, what is this Nuclear Throne you guys are talking about? Some kind of weapon or something?" the triangle questioned. It clearly wasn't a normal gun, otherwise he'd have knowledge about it, but bombs or melee weapons weren't in his domain.
The green fish put down his guitar and began to explain "The Nuclear Throne is… Oh wait, we haven't introduced ourselves have we? I suppose you must be a little confused."
'Oh, wonderful.' Y.V. thought 'just more mortals that want me remember their names. Ugh.'
"The name's Fish" the green guitarist announced.
"Crystal." The purple gem said next.
"Rebel" The toilet paper women murmured out.
"Robot, at your service." The trashcan spoke.
Steroids, I guess." The muscle man whispered.
"Chicken."
"Blarghranspo" The green blob blurted.
"He meant Horror, he's still working on Trashtalk." Robot continued.
Y.V. was glad he could download languages at a thought, Trashtalk was a terrible name for a language.
"Hah… hahroar" The blob nodded.
"Very good Horror." Steroids smiled at the radiation.
"Rogue" the ex-invader simply stated.
"And the silent ones are Plant," Fish pointed at the plant "Eyes," he pointed at the mushroom shaped thing "and Melting." He finished at the ball of flesh on the floor. The flesh bubble when his name was said, as if popping at him was a greeting.
So there were eleven beings, not ten. Interesting.
"My name, dear mortals, in Yung Venuz. Otherwise known as the Gun God." Y.V. pronounced proudly "You may call me Y.V."
"Gun God?" Steroids asked incredulously "Are you an actual god, or is that metaphorical?"
"I can't die, I can summon guns to me if I bind them to my soul, and I can travel dimensions. I am fairly certain I'm a god."
The mutant beings stared at each other for a second then shook their heads.
"I've heard odder stories."
Y.V. would be grinning if he had a mouth.
He'd fit right in.
And then the fire flashed oddly, as if emitting a message.
Far above the mutants, Venuz's eye noticed a twist in the sky, and he sensed something. Something larger than him, stronger than him, more than him. Observing.
As he and those around him began to glow, he noticed the fire spark in response, and all went to black.
Venuz was having the oddest sense of déjà vu.
He was back at the campfire, but he couldn't move, couldn't speak, only listen and watch.
He noticed his body move without his command and look down.
"What the fuck? I'm a triangle? Freaking weird lady said I'd live, but as a triangle?"
Y.V. didn't know what was wrong with being a triangle.
It was much better than being a square.
"I still have arms and legs, that's cool I guess… SHIT! I only have one eye! What the fuck did they do to me?"
Y.V. looked around after realizing that whatever idiot was in his body wasn't very entertaining, and saw the other mutants there, hovering above their old forms, which were looking at the fire or sitting still.
Fish was shaking his head as his body struggled to play the guitar.
"She doesn't know how to play the guitar? What are they teaching kids these days?"
The other mutants were similarly murmuring over their bodies, except for Robot, who wasn't moving above his body, and Horror, who was inside his for some reason.
"Who are these wackos? Other past dying people I guess… Oy! You know where we…" His body stopped speaking after their bodies began to glow.
'Again' Y.V. reminded himself. 'We're glowing again'
The campfire was flashing like it had before, but the sky was different this time.
Instead of a presence peeping through the dimensions, the stars were spiraling, dancing a dance he didn't recognize.
"It's beautiful…" The person inhabiting his body whispered out.
'No,' Venuz shuddered 'It's very, very, horrifying'
He would remember the stars in the shapes of a man and woman, strength and intelligence, worm and parasite.
Gold and Silver.
Then his body fainted, and his vision shifted.
The fire was gone.
The sky was gone.
It its place were two human woman, and a human man.
'That is a really ugly hat' Y.V. thought as he faded back into the loud boy's mind.
Doctor Mother sighed as she observed the boy writhing and mutating before her.
Another transformation, and one that definitely wasn't as hidden as the others.
What kind of power made a body into a fleshy triangle anyway?
"Door to Wiper" She announced as she carted the whimpering form to the next procedure, Contessa leaving through a door after viewing the attachment, Number Man behind her through another.
"The fire…"
She stopped. Another person mentioning a fire. The crystal boy from two months ago had mentioned one as well, a certain Terry Hess, if she was correct? Cauldron had heard no mention of it again, until the boy before her had spoken.
What connected the two? Were the agents from the same places? Maybe their powers would have similarities. Terry Hess had shield powers and could teleport to any place he could see, maybe this boy could teleport as well?
"Why couldn't the fish play guitar?" The boy laughed out, as he began to shake and giggle uncontrollably.
Or maybe this one was just mad.
"Wiper, we need this one empty. English, logic, and mathematics only please."
"Right away Doctor."
As the Doctor returned to her office, she wondered if the boy wasn't mad after all, but as she heard the screams from the fleshy triangle, she knew it was a little too late for that.
Y.V. was pissed.
After a minute or two of thought, he realized why he thought this day wasn't going so well.
He'd started the day desiring a bout of fun in the multiverse, a day or twenty shooting up bandits and evil folk while becoming stronger and maybe getting some more friends, and ended up being forced into a new body with its old tenant being deleted.
He was absolutely furious at the beings that watched, at the women and man who stared, and a little pissed at the boy who'd shared this new body for a bit.
He was furious for being cut off from his home.
He was raging that his Cuz was being left alone in his mansion with all of his junk food.
He was blisteringly mad at being taken from his prospective new friends at the campfire.
He was pissed off for being shoved near a different campfire with an imbecile in control of a similar body to his.
He was fucking angry at being shunted into a mortal body of all things. One that had to eat and breathe and… poop. The horror. Not Horror though, that guy was actually alright.
He was a little sad that his old tenant had been destroyed, but then he changed his mind as he took control.
His little moment of joy was taken away though, when he was given an omega tattoo on his ass and shoved through an odd portal into the night life of a shitty city with gang tags everywhere.
He couldn't even use his air horn to blend in, those bastards.
He could understand taking someone's immortality and emergency teleport, even taking all weapons (other than his soulfused golden pistol), but taking someone's air horn?
Those were the true monsters of the universes.
He began to wander this new city, picking up his legs and floating along down the streets, looking for anything more interesting than gang signs.
It was about three minutes later when a motorcycle pulled up next to him with a human woman wearing a scarf around her face and waist. Her face was a kind one, compared to the panicked ones he'd seen fleeing from him earlier, but she had her hand on a kaleidoscoping weapon of some kind. It was a six-shooter, then a knife, then a glock, which it stayed as as she approached.
"Console this is Miss Militia, Case-53 has been spotted, I am on the approach."
"Roger that, MM, remember, Case-53s are sometimes violent, try not to seem hostile."
Venuz supposed that they didn't know he could hear them.
"Oy, Miss Militia, lady in the scarf thing, whatever your name is, you know where to find a space parasite, a golden man, a silver woman, a scary woman in a hat and suit, a blond ruffled man in a suit, or a weird doctor lady?"
The woman froze, studying him to see if he was serious.
"You… remember? The worms?"
"It's more of a parasite, but yeah, worm works. I was shoved in this fleshy sac by said space parasite with another dude, but he was deleted by some wacko with a brain wipe machine and I was then shoved into this shitty city."
As he spoke, a gunshot rang out, the bullet shattering the device the lady was speaking into earlier.
"GET DOWN!" the woman yelled as she ran towards him, tackling Y.V. to the ground as he looked for the source.
It was the woman in the crappy hat, holding a sign he knew only he could see.
'All between the second fire and the city is like fight club.'
'I won't miss next time.'
Then she turned and disappeared into the alley.
"Huh." The fleshy triangle murmured on the ground as the scarf lady started to stand "Fight Club exists here too? Sweet, wonder what differences there are in this one."
"Console! Come in Console! Damn…" Miss Militia swore as her weapon altered from a shotgun to an assault rifle in a swirl of colors.
"Right, well, apparently I can't talk about the Fight Club I just went through, so I'll just talk about the parasite."
"No, no, go back to the second person? The one you shared a body with?" the lady questioned.
He heard a cocking of a gun from the alley.
"Uh, yeah, um, can't seem to remember what I was talking about there… Uhh… yeah…" Y.V. stammered as the lady stared at him.
"Right," she said as she looked back at the bike "Can I ask you to come back to the PRT headquarters for an interview?"
"You just did, but sure. What's the PRT though? Police Reform Team? Powerful Reject Tracker? Potential Rodent Takedown?" Y.V. asked, leaving Miss Militia doubtlessly confused.
"PRT stands for Parahuman Response Team, you are a parahuman, a person with powers, able to do umm, your floaty thing, as well as, maybe, other things. You may be in a state of shock or duress, and we really do want to make sure you're alright." The lady told him with a warm smile on her face.
"Ehh, I've been feeling a little less immortal than last night, so I might as well. Just make sure this 'interview' isn't an interrogation and we'll be fine."
"Right, well how about you hop on my…" She then looked down at his lack of posterior "Hmm, can you fly at high speeds or just walking pace?"
"It's actually hovering, but to answer your question, I'm not sure. Let me remember." He blinked, then spoke again. "Right, it's 3.333 meters max above the ground, 33.333 meters per second in any 2D direction, so not up or down, and it can support 333.333 Newtons of weight." Y.V. spoke as if reading from a guide book.
"Is that exact or estimated?" The woman asked him.
"Well should I say .333 continued or just round it? I always go to three decimal places, but this world might be odd and use hexadecimal system or something."
"World? Which world are you… No, I'll leave this for the interview." Miss Militia sighed "Can you match my speed?"
"No prob, Miss." The triangle hovered as the lady mounted her bike "Go when ready, I'll catch up."
The two sped off down the road, at a low enough speed for Y.V. to ask a final question.
"Do you know where I can find an infinite air horn?"
And Miss Militia, who just wanted a damn coffee at 3:00AM in the morning, sped off just a little faster.