The time has finally come to come clean about everything to Sayori.

I began my speech, still unsure in the back of my mind if this is the right course of action.

I tell her that hallowed story that even I hate to think of.

MC : "It wasn't a dream like I told you. That was so you wouldn't worry."

The truth was stranger, however, and I didn't know how to get around to the point that... somehow, time was looped.

MC : "I joined a literature club at your request. But it wasn't "this" 'you', because... Well, I'll explain it more later."

It's making me so uncomfortable to think about this.

MC : "There was Monika, Yuri, Natsuki, You and I in the club. But things started going so wrong... and..."

MC : "You told me everything about your depression. We confessed our love..."

MC : "Then on the next morning, you didn't answer your texts."

MC : "When I came to your house... You..."

Sayori is looking more and more concerned as I begin my story. Suddenly, she wraps her arms around me.

Sayori : "Don't say any more."

She can tell how painful this is for me.

Not only that, but I think she knows what I was going to say anyway.

MC : "...And then Monika hijacked everything. She was the one who made it all go wrong in the end." I catch my breath.

MC : "And she started talking to me, but to someone else, like she was talking through me."

I tried to explain what it was like to be stuck in this... time-loop.

Sayori probably thinks it was a drug trip, or something. I can't imagine she believes me.

Sayori : "Is Monika one of your classmates?"

MC : "Not anymore... She is gone now."

MC : "I know this doesn't make any sense, but it's the only explanation. Monika is some kind of..."

MC : "...Ethereal being, or something. She reset me back to this moment because.."

MC : "...That was what I wanted, and she... Loved me."

I finish and look toward her.

We are both sat on the rug, leaning on the furniture in my room.

She's in her casual wear, as am I, and we're drinking tea.

Sayori looks understandably confused, and very worried.

I begin to realize what she's probably thinking.

MC is starting to totally lose his grasp on reality.

It may have been a mistake to try to be this honest, after all, but... I just thought...

I thought honesty was the best policy...

Sayori : "Well, it's a very interesting story.."

Sayori : "Ehehe..."

Sayori : "Don't worry, MC, I believe you, but..."

Sayori : "If what you say is really true, well, then...

Sayori : "We need to help Yuri and Natsuki too!"

My mind is blown once again.

A giant grin comes across my face and I hug Sayori for what must have been the hundredth time that night.

This girl amazes me every day with her selflessness; it seems like she is just fundamentally fixated on thinking about others.

She didn't react like I was crazy at all.

She just took this crazy, scary, confusing situation and found a way to find a way to reach something positive within it.

With reignited hope and determination, I nod in agreement toward Sayori, tears forming in my eyes.

MC : "Thank you, Sayori..."

MC : "There really is no one like you."

MC : "You're my one and only best friend, forever."

She smiles brightly right back at me and takes a sip of her tea.

There's really nothing I can say to her to express my gratitude.

Before today, I was all alone in this seemingly impossible quest...

But Sayori always knows how to talk to people! Her help with be invaluable.

I have limited experience dealing with this sort of thing, but Sayori has been struggling her entire life.

The clock strikes 15:00 -we're getting tired.

We stay up talking a little bit longer.

Once again, Sayori concedes to my request that she stay the night, even if we barely both fit on my twin mattress.

And we fall asleep like that, with her in my arms, making sure that she doesn't go anywhere.

MC : "I may not know what's best for you all the time, but I know this is the right thing to do for you."

MC : "So please, I'm begging you, just give it one shot... for me?"

That morning, after we awoke, I made Sayori some breakfast before we made our way out the door.

On our walk, I decided to attempt to convince Sayori to go to a real counselor, not one like the shitty school one.

It was the only way I knew for sure that I was supposed to help her. That's what I've always heard:

"Get professional help."

But she was reluctant.

Sayori : "MC, it's really nothing. I'm really fine, see?"

She gives a big smile.

Sayori : "I promise I'm feeling a lot better today."

I'm feeling conflicted.

Deep down, I feel like this is just one of her tricks to try to get me to not worry about her.

MC : "Please, Sayori. Don't lie."

MC: "It's okay to be honest with me."

MC : "I know that what you are experiencing is not just a temporary thing."

MC : "Just let me do this one thing. Please?"

MC : "All you will have to do is just talk about how you feel to someone who wants to help you."

I wish she could tell that it was just out of love.

But she did not look pleased.

Sayori : "That's not easy at all."

Sayori : "..."

Sayori : "But... I'll do it... This once!" She points at me.

Sayori : "Because it will make you happy, right?" I smile.

I hope it will make us both happy...

MC : "Don't make it about me! Just please give it an honest shot."

MC : "And if it doesn't work out, we can never do it again."

Sayori explains that she would rather do it alone, and have me go to school.

That's probably just because she doesn't want me to fail any classes.

Oh well, I have to oblige, especially because I already forced her out of her comfort zone.

I felt like my own ability to help her is severely limited and that was the best thing I could do...

I take her to a specialist for a short session and promise to pick her up when it's done.

MC : "Good luck! I love you!"

I arrive at school late and it's lunch time before too long.

I go to meet Natsuki and Yuri at their lunch table as agreed upon.

Natsuki : "Hey, MC."

Natsuki looks a little bit uncomfortable.

Yuri : "Is Sayori with you?"

MC : "No, unfortunately she still isn't feeling well."

Should I just tell them the truth about her depression?

Somehow, I think that Sayori really wouldn't want that.

I take a seat opposite of them.

MC : "She'll be here tomorrow, I'm sure. She can't miss an entire week."

She probably could.

Yuri and Natsuki are wearing their usual school uniforms, and Yuri has her book with her as usual.

Natsuki has something too, but she quickly hides it under the table when I notice it.

MC : "Natsuki, you like manga?"

Yuri looks up from her book towards us.

Natsuki : "N-n... Why?"

MC : "Well, I read manga. I was just curious."

Of course, I already knew she liked manga.

Natsuki : "Well... Yes, I do, if you must know."

MC : "Well, I'd love for you to show me your favorites sometime. I'm sure you've got something I've never seen."

Yuri is looking down at her book again, and I take the opportunity.

MC : "I can tell from your expression that you don't, Yuri. What's your book about?"

Yuri : "Oh, um... You wouldn't like it." She plays with her hair bashfully.

MC : "I like all literature."

That was a lie.

The truth was, I liked how literature was something we could easily talk about and bond over.

And really, one of the things I know for sure about these girls is what kind of stuff they read.

Natsuki : "Yuri likes books with unnecessarily complex language. Not like the manga we read."

Yuri doesn't look surprised, and doesn't stutter with her retort :

Yuri : "Better expanded and complex than childish and stifled..."

Natsuki : "Childish? Manga is for everyone!" Natsuki rapidly interjects.

Yuri : "And novels are only for those capable of appreciating the intrinsic skill required for intricate world building."

Yuri : "I don't expect that from you anyway, Natsuki."

The girls aren't looking at each other, more toward my direction, as if their arguing wasn't even directed toward each other.

That, or they just don't want to face each other.

I'm just baffled by how quickly this got out of hand. I just wanted to relate to each of them.

I should have known!

Now they're bickering like schoolchildren.

What would Sayori do in this situation?

MC : "Guys... Come on, quit fighting!"

MC : "Yuri...Manga is definitely a form of literature. Libraries have manga! It's just a little more light than you're used to."

MC : "And there's nothing wrong with taking yourself seriously sometimes and writing with deeply expressive language."

MC : "And it's ok to have our own reading preferences.

MC : "That just makes us unique."

MC : "So just cut it out!"

They're both looking down at their laps.

Maybe that came out more harshly than I meant to at the end.

Natsuki : "S-sorry, MC.."

Yuri : "I apologize... I can't believe I let you see that..."

Yuri : "We're usually not like this during lunch."

MC : "Listen, I have an idea for how we can learn to appreciate each other's favorite writing styles."

MC : "You write poems, right?"

The two girls both nod.

MC : "I had this idea a while back. We could all bring our poetry and share it during lunch."

MC : "A sort of... Ĺi̶t̴eràt͞ure C̢l҉ub͏ for us to pass the time at lunch or after school."

MC : "I don't have a lot of experience writing poetry. But I know it can be one of the best ways to express ourselves."

MC : "So what do you say?"

Natsuki : "No way!"

Natsuki : "...It's way too personal to just share like that."

She's blushing and looking away angrily.

Yuri : "I have to agree... It's an unreasonable request for us to share something so.."

Yuri : "...intimate."

MC : "Nonsense, I'll bring my own poem too, okay? And you can just bring anything."

I was just thinking it would help us get closer.

MC : "It doesn't have to be super serious."

They both look uneasy.

They're sitting quietly and avoiding eye contact.

MC : "Well... Even if you two don't want to, you don't have to. I'll just bring mine, okay?"

MC : "Don't stress about it at all."

I'm finishing up my lunch now

Yuri : "Well... I might bring one in. We'll see."

Natsuki : "Hmph!" - She's being stubborn as usual.

We continue the rest of lunch with casual conversation, since the mood had returned more or less to normal.

Before long, the bell rings and we all get ready to go back to our classes.

Natsuki confronts me after Yuri has left.

She corners me and gets up in my face, looking furious.

Natsuki : "Alright, I'm tired of this!"

Natsuki : "What's your deal?"

MC : "Natsuki, what are you on about?"

Natsuki : "Why are you acting like this? What do you want from us?"

What did I do?

Natsuki : "Why are you treating me so nicely for no reason like this?"

Natsuki : "It's really starting to piss me off!"

Well, I can't exactly explain it all to Natsuki. She probably wouldn't react like Sayori.

MC : "Well... I like you two."

MC : "Isn't that enough?"

I tried to dodge around it.

Natsuki looks conflicted, like she wants to be angry but she's realizing she doesn't really have any grounds.

She puts her pointer finger on my chest.

Natsuki : "No! I... Want to understand why you come here out of nowhere trying to do all these things for me and.."

Natsuki : "Buying me a nice dinner."

Natsuki : "And trying to get us to share poetry and stuff. So what is it, what's your deal?"

MC : "Nothing, Natsuki, honestly. I promise I'm not trying to manipulate either of you."

MC : "I only want to get to know you, and I'm only treating you two with the proper respect I should."

I grab her hand and move it away.

I have to admit, she's being pretty cute.

MC : "Now quit bullying me. Don't you have some poetry to write?" I say smugly.

Natsuki's face becomes red as she becomes visibly angry again.

Well, if she wants to act that way, that's what she's going to get in return. I know how to play that game.

Natsuki : "Ugh. Get over yourself!"

Natsuki storms away.

With a girl of her demeanor, I don't know if that's a positive response or not.

I'm going to bet on it being a positive one.

Anyway, I don't have any time to return to my classes.

I have to go pick up Sayori from her counselor.

I hope it went well, and she's finally getting all the help she needs.

As for the Natsuki and Yuri... I think this may be near futile.

I love them both, but...

There's just no way I, a single person, can actually give everything that needs to be given to them.

Especially when I'm officially.. With Sayori now.

But I can definitely give it my best shot.

I just hope their standards, or their needs are low, because well... I'm far from perfect.

At least Sayori has offered her help, and I truly believe she can do anything.

I pull up next to Sayori and park the car.

MC : "How was it?"

Sayori : "It was okay..."

Sayori quietly gets into the car and sits down without looking me in the eye.

MC : "What's wrong?"

Sayori : "Nothing's wrong."

MC : "What did they say?"

Sayori : "He said I should go to a doctor because I should get medication."

She's still just looking ahead, through the windscreen and toward nothing in particular.

I try to relax, but something in her demeanor is strange.

MC : "Well... What do you think?"

Sayori takes a deep breath through her nose and sighs.

Sayori : "I don't really like the idea of it, but..."

Sayori : "He said I might have an imbalance in my head that makes me sad."

Sayori : "...And that there are things that can help fix that."

I'm silent for a while, thinking about everything she said.

She's acting so solemn, definitely uncharacteristic.

MC : "Well, you don't have to, if you don't want to."

MC : "I support you either way."

MC : "And so do Natsuki and Yuri. I spoke to them today, and we want to start sharing our poetry during lunch. I know you have something you could bring!"

I admit it : I don't know what's best for Sayori. I'm just trying to be positive, but I guess that Sayori more than anybody would know if that was fake or real.

I'm trying to learn from my past mistakes.

All I know how to do is try to support her.

Sayori finally turned to look at me.

Sayori : "This is all just my punishment, isn't it?

Sayori : "I let my feelings show and now I hurt my friends, and now the world is punishing me for it."

Sayori : "It's okay. I deserve it, because I failed..."

I'm not sure if I should interrupt her or not. I decide it's best to let her vent it all out.

She's sniffing now and wiping her eyes.

Sayori : "That's the real reason you confessed to me."

Sayori : "It's because I deserve all the pain for the pain I caused you."

Sayori : "For leading you on, like there was ever..."

Sayori : "Anything you could do..."

She stops as we arrive. I'm speechless, once again... All I can think to do is help walk her to somewhere more private.

MC : "I know you won't believe me, because you didn't believe me last time."

MC : "But I love you and would do anything for you."

MC : "You're not a burden. You're not a pain. You're everything that gives light to my life..."

MC : "Let's do something fun tomorrow, alright? I'll take you to see one of the best parks in town, and we could get ice cream!"

I'm desperately trying to lighten the mood.

I can tell she is struggling with some really dark thoughts right now.

Maybe we can just talk it out again for the rest of the day.

MC : "Now, let's head inside where we can talk again. I'll stay the night, OK?"

Sayori looks at me hesitantly.

Sayori : "MC, I love you, but..."

What's this?

Sayori : "This is causing me so much pain."

...

Sayori : "There's so many things I'm trying to deal with right now. And I.."

Sayori : "And I can't understand my own feelings very well. So I'm sorry."

Sayori : "But I want things to stay the way they always were between us."

Sayori couldn't be... Breaking up with me, already?

But she was the one who said she wanted to be with me in the first place.

Is this because I made her go see a counselor today? And she already hates me for it?

Sayori : "And I think I just need some alone time to think."

Or does this have something to do with Yuri or Natsuki?

Or maybe she just thinks I'm insane after what I told her? About the literature club?

My thoughts are racing trying to find an answer.

I must have done something wrong, said something wrong to her after all.

Why would she want to be alone now?

She seemed to really enjoy talking to me the other night. She was frank, open, and loving...

I just can't think what it is.

I can't understand Sayori, at all.

All I can think about is this pain in my chest.

Is this what it feels like to be... Stabbed in the chest?

I put on my toughest face and try to gather the will to remain strong.

Her pained screams still echo in my ears.

Why Sayori?

Maybe I'm overreacting.

Or misinterpreting what she means.

Through blurred vision and shaky hands I managed to say to her:

MC : "Sayori... Boyfriend, girlfriend, they're just words."

MC : "It doesn't change anything.

MC : "...I'm still your best friend who will support you through anything, ok?"

...

My heart is pounding in my chest, my balance is thrown off.

Is this a ploy for her to sneak off away from my vision and off herself?

Do I leave her alone? Do I force her to stay with me?

I have to support her. Not force her to do anything...

I shouldn't have made her go see a counselor.

MC : "And if you need to be alone... I understand. I'm... I'm sorry if I was..."

MC : "Too... clingy."

Sayori hugs me this time, but I'm the one who can barely get my arms to move around her.

What is this feeling?

It's like my insides are burning, turning black- twisting, hardening into charcoal.

My stomach is in my throat and I want to scream but I can't.

I can't because I have to be the strong one, for Sayori.

But for what?

What is she planning?

She wrote a note for every member of her family, individually.

She wrote one for every friend she ever had.

She wrote one to herself, and one to God.

She prayed for some kind of help, some kind of intervention to stop her from what she is about to do.

There's only one way to escape this pain.

Don't blame yourself, MC, it isn't your fault.

Suicide is inevitable for me.

My only final wish is for you to be happy. So forget about me. And move on with your life.

Find another girl who will make your heart pound.

I'll love you forever. Goodbye.

Sayori releases me from her grasp.

Sayori : "I knew you would understand, MC, because you always know what to do."

Sayori : "That's why I love you. I promise I'll see you tomorrow.

My brain is running overtime, and I'm so focused that I just sit there in silence for a moment until Sayori begins to walk away, toward her apartment.

Sayori : "Goodnight, MC!"

She beams at me. I manage to put on a fake smile, for her.

Sayori : "I love you."

She goes inside and closes the door behind her.

It's silent and freezing cold outside and I can't move a muscle.

Everything in my body tells me to run over and open it and go inside.

But Sayori told me she wants to be alone.

But she doesn't know what's best for her. She's trying to trick you.

But she saw a counselor today. Maybe she just needs to think about it some more.

Maybe she is overwhelmed.

Maybe I've been harassing her for no reason, and her depression isn't even as bad as I think it is.

Maybe her depression is worse than I think it is.

Maybe I took all the wrong actions.

Maybe she wants to sneak off in the middle of the night and never be heard from again.

Maybe she just processes her feelings better alone.

Maybe she never actually loved me and just said that so I would be happy.

Maybe I am the crazy one, and everything that happened to me was just one of my schizophrenic episodes and she is terrified of me.

I'm so fucking confused, and scared...

I have no idea what she is feeling, I can't relate at all to her experiences.

Maybe...

I'm doing more harm than good...

When you love me, it feels like a bat swinging across my head...

That night, I couldn't sleep.

I love her so much that it hurts.

I kept finding myself staring out my window, toward Sayori's apartment.

I watched for the lights, to see if she turned them off, and when.

And I turned off anything that makes any noise, just in case I heard something.

For hours, I just stared.

Until when I looked away, I saw an imprint of her window burned into my retina everywhere I looked.

Am I obsessing?

Am I an obsessive boyfriend? Nobody likes a clingy partner.

Well, I guess I'm just a best friend again now.

It's so unsettling... The way that Sayori acts.

I can never tell if she is being genuine. She's constantly shifting back and forth;

From being overly optimistic to being exceedingly gloomy and hopeless..

It makes it so I never know what is going to happen, or what I should do.

It's like I'm just being pulled along for a crazy ride in which the world is trying to tell me loud and clear :

There is little you can do...

And all I know how to do is try to support her... in any way I can.

And that means trusting her when she promises I'll see her tomorrow.

What does she mean by "the way things used to be"?

Like... With her pretending to not be depressed and me treating her like an afterthought?

I should have taken her to a park, or a fair, or something instead of a counselor...

I still didn't take my eyes or mind off of that house until my body forcefully shut down, and I fell asleep crouched by my window.

This time, with no one in my arms, a fractured heart, and uncertain of where Sayori was, or how she was...

Questions - By MC

Where-did-we-be-come

Where-are-we-going

When-did-we-start

When-do-we-end

What-are-you-doing?

What-am-I

Who-are-we

Why-wouldn't-we

-become