When I woke up at the morning, I could only think of Sayori.

The same thoughts as last night are circling tirelessly in my head-

I'm exhausted now, and I haven't had a normal night's sleep in probably almost a week.

I try to gather the strength to get up off the floor where I passed out, but what's the point?

I'm telling myself again and again:

Things aren't getting better. Frankly, I don't think I'm helping at all.

I'm more use to these girls when I sit in my room and pursue my vices.

...

This is extremely uncomfortable...

But... I don't want to forget about them. I love them...

Why does it feel like I'm arguing with myself?

I never had this problem before.

My jumbled up and exhausted brain must be loaning out some of its extra space, because these thoughts are not my own.

Imagine all of your conscious thoughts seemingly popping up out of space without your control.

They feel like they're real, and like they're mine. But they can't be.

You're useless.

And my normal state of awareness seems to be periodically dulled, or at least my perception of my memories seems dulled.

If that doesn't make sense, good. It doesn't make sense to me either.

It's too useless to describe something as abstract as a feeling anyway.

I have to override this stuff. I feel more like an observer than the one in control...

I began the crawl out of my bed.

Next to me on my nightstand is a scrawled note, and upon further inspection, it's a poem.

I forgot to write a poem!

Wait, no, it's mine.

Now I remember, I wrote it last night.

It's not easy for me to ever write a poem, but this time, I sat down and it just all came out.

I didn't care about form, or impressing anyone, I just wrote down words, and kept that pen moving.

It wasn't like me to forget something like this, either.

I look outside the window, and it's definitely later than I intended to sleep.

I'm becoming a little bit like Sayori, aren't I?

There's nothing I can do but continue to try.

I don't know if I'm doing the right thing or not.

But... There's nothing else for me anymore, anyway.

I'm reaching a dark conclusion that I've been unable to confront for a while.

Now that I'm feeling so powerless, I can't help but bring it to full attention.

There's always been the chance that the unthinkable happens...

I look toward Sayori's house. It looks unchanged.

What would I do if she was dead?

What if Yuri or Natsuki died?

What would I do?

All I know is I would definitely not be able to continue on in this life.

Their story is my story now.

I felt pretty dispirited today, naturally.

Of course, I couldn't let Sayori notice that.

She wanted things to be more like they used to be.

So I had to try to think positively.

I was too late to walk to school with her, and I decide it's best not to barge into her house.

She's probably at school anyway.

So I finally decide to just go to school, feeling pretty numb overall.

I showed up just in time for lunch, so I went to eat with the club.

Yuri and Natsuki were already there, so I took a seat.

Yuri : "Hello, MC. It's good to see you again." She smiles gently.

Natsuki also looks towards me and gives a "hi".

I get settled and Yuri and Natsuki look at me curiously.

Natsuki : "No Sayori still, huh?"

MC : "..."

MC : "I guess not... I haven't seen her today."

Yuri : "You said yesterday that she would certainly come today..."

Yuri : "I hope she's alright. MC... As her best friend, you know what's going on more than we do."

Yuri : "Is she alright? It's really not like her to not show up for so long."

MC : "Yeah.. .She's... Well..."

MC : "I'll talk to you about it later... She's alright for now."

Yuri seems to want to inquire more, but doesn't because of my terse and hesitant replies.

Natsuki is reading her manga and not paying much attention.

MC : "Anyway... I got my poem, as discussed."

I pull out the strange and messy poem I wrote out of my bag.

Since Natsuki is busy I want to spend time with Yuri today.

I decide to get up and move over to where Yuri is sitting.

MC : "Did you bring one?"

Yuri : "Yes.."

MC : "There's no pressure. I won't judge you. But you can read mine first if you would like."

Yuri agrees and I hand her the poem.

I pretend not to be watching her as her eyes scan the page, up and down, more than once.

I know the deal, though. She's just gathering her thoughts, so I won't interrupt her.

I let the silence continue for what felt like an excessive amount of time.

Finally, Yuri lightly clears her throat and speaks up.

Yuri : "Well, it's pretty good for your first poem..."

Yuri : "The concept is interesting..."

Yuri : "It reminds me most closely of Sayori's poem style."

Yuri : "You two are really close, so that makes sense that you two are alike." She smiles.

Yuri : "It's pretty avant-garde, which I didn't expect from you..."

Feeling like entertaining her, I decide to ask her :

MC : "What do you think it's about?"

Yuri : "Oh... Um, well.."

Yuri : "A poem can be interpreted in a lot of ways..."

Yuri : "But to me, it's about that feeling of adolescence—when you're really confused."

Yuri : "The feeling of growing up and taking on the world without any clue about what kind of thing life even is, what kind of world we live in."

Yuri : "The feeling that results from the lack of any guidance."

Yuri continues on, clearly getting into it, and so I don't interrupt her.

Yuri : "The dashes make it feel stilted, which corresponds with the feeling of uncertainty and emptiness that comes with it."

Yuri finally pauses.

Yuri : "Is that... Close?" She blushes.

MC : "Yeah... I'm impressed, Yuri! That was actually extremely close."

I don't want to elaborate on this poem. But Yuri's analysis was very interesting.

Yuri : "Um.. Thank you..." She seems to have realized how uncharacteristically outgoing she was behaving, because she becomes all coy again.

MC : "Can I see your poem now?"

Yuri hands me both of the poems.

Casket

The solemn blue flame of my lantern casts its light

Through the tangled limbs of ivy

Through the light-lattice: a destitute graveyard

My final resting place in the talons of disarray.

The soil lies disturbed, and in the mound I once called home

Is an empty and covetous vessel.

Under the light of the moon I become determined;

Carving one more mark into that hollow shell.

An unending reminder ; a record book of sins.

As long as I am destined to wander this land

This is my curse.

I finish reading and look up to see a uncomfortable-looking Yuri.

Yuri : "Did... you like it?"

MC : "Yeah!"

MC : "Sayori was right when she said you were a very talented writer."

I try to dodge discussion over the obvious subject of this poem, to avoid making her uncomfortable.

MC : "You make good use of imagery and metaphors. It's very well done."

She seems to ease up a little bit.

Yuri : "Thank you.. I wanted to show my true writing style without anything too... extreme."

Yuri : "I wanted to say thank you for starting this too."

Yuri : "It's great writing practice to write a poem in a short period of time."

Yuri : "People can become so caught up in making each word perfect, that they never develop the actual skill to know what word ought to come next."

Yuri : "That's the kind of thing you develop as you explore your own style..."

Yuri : "... Oh, I'm rambling again, aren't I?"

Yuri : "I'm sorry... If I get like that, you can just interrupt me and I'll stop.."

MC : "No, that's alright! You have a lot of interesting insights."

MC : "You didn't lose my interest."

Yuri : "...Insight? You're a little too nice sometimes, MC..."

Yuri : "In any case... There's something I wanted to give you."

Yuri : "...For no reason in particular... but you did seem interested in literature."

Yuri hands me The Dance of Sinners.

What is this? It appears to be the prequel to The P̡ort̨r͜ai̡t of Mar̵k̕o̕v̢

Yuri : "And we could..."

Yuri : "Discuss it.. If you wanted." She turns away, hiding her gaze under her bangs bashfully.

I enthusiastically take the book.

MC : "Thank you, Yuri! I'll definitely read this!"

Yuri : "I'm relieved..."

Yuri exhales and then gathers her thoughts.

Yuri : "We could even get started now, if you want..."

I want to read with Yuri, but I don't think there's enough time left before lunch ends.

MC : "It's not that I don't want to, but I haven't read Natsuki's poem yet."

Yuri conceals her look of disappointment, and smiles contently.

Yuri : "Oh, of course. I don't know how I could have forgotten..."

Yuri : "You go ahead. And maybe if there's time afterwards..."

Yuri trails off as I get ready to go over toward Natsuki.

She's alone and looking sour.

Natsuki : "Hm? Oh, I guess I'll read it..."

Natsuki closes her manga and takes the poem.

She gives it a once-over before handing it back to me.

Natsuki : "Well, it's okay, I guess..."

Natsuki : "I don't usually read stuff like that though."

Natsuki : "Yuri probably had more to say about this."

MC : "Yeah, she said it reminded her of Sayori, actually."

Natsuki : "Really? I didn't get that."

MC : "Did you bring a poem like I asked?"

Natsuki : "... Um, no. Of course I didn't! I have better things to do."

MC : "I thought you had some extra poems anyway."

Natsuki : "Well, I just forgot. I had a lot of homework, okay?"

Natsuki : "Besides, you wouldn't like them.."

Natsuki is becoming indignant, and I get the feeling she's not telling me everything.

Natsuki : "The real question is why you have that kind of time."

Natsuki : "Shouldn't you be helping Sayori?"

Woah..

MC : "Sayori's doing fine. She's getting the help she needs right now."

Natsuki : "Yuri and I are really worried about her, and you're the only one who knows anything."

Natsuki : "And all you want to do is read and write poems!"

MC : "No, that's not true. I just want to hang out with you two, that's all."

Natsuki : "You're such a weirdo. I just don't get it."

MC : "But you had fun hanging out with me still."

MC : "We could do that again sometime."

Natsuki : "Oh..."

Natsuki's attitude seems to shift.

Natsuki : "I can't."

MC : "Why?"

Natsuki : "I.."

I see something welling up in her pink eyes. She lowers her voice.

Natsuki : "Can you keep a secret?"

I nod.

MC : "Of course. What is it?"

Natsuki : "My dad doesn't really let me do anything fun..."

Natsuki : "So that's why I can't really hang out with people outside of school."

Suddenly, I'm remembering that Natsuki's problems may not have just been because of Monika.

MC : "...Oh, um... Are you grounded?"

Natsuki looks on edge now.

Natsuki : "I just can't hang out with you anymore outside of school. Sorry.."

She looks at the floor.

I'm not sure what I can even do for her.

MC : "Well, I can still buy you lunch here sometime."

Natsuki : "Eh...? N-n... Really?"

She looks angry, and rightfully so.

I guess I would be angry if someone offered to buy my lunch too.

She's too proud to accept that.

Natsuki : "No.. That's alright, just..."

Natsuki : "Just being here is enough..."

I suddenly come to my senses.

MC : "Natsuki... Listen, I'm your friend."

MC : "And that means I'm not gonna judge you for anything you want to tell me."

MC : "And why would I judge you for that anyway?"

MC : "I just want to do everything in my power to help you out."

MC : "So just talk to me. What's really going on with your parents?"

MC : "I know there's more than what you're telling me."

Natsuki : "..."

Natsuki : "I do trust you, MC..."

Natsuki looks like she's about to cry, but she wants to suppress it.

Natsuki : "...Why are you doing this to me right now?"

Natsuki puts her face in her elbow and gets up and runs away.

MC : "Wait, Natsuki!"

I run after her, up the stairs and into an empty hallway section of the school.

Natsuki is crouched, crying and looking away.

MC : "I'm sorry, Natsuki.."

MC : "I didn't mean to do that to you in public."

I want to hug her, but as I get close, she turns and pushes me away.

She continues sobbing and I stand there for a moment, unsure of what I could even do.

I eventually just sit on the ground next to her and wait for her crying to subside a little.

MC : "You don't have to say anything."

MC : "Just let me know if you want me to stay..."

With her face buried in her arms, I see her nod her head.

So I continue to sit with her.

After a long enough time, her breathing seemed to return to normal and her crying stopped.

Natsuki reached her arms out around me.

It was an uncharacteristic sign of affection.

Wrapping my arms around her, I can really feel just how tiny she is.

She's kind of bony, too.

Natsuki begins to talk, slowly and seriously, in a manner I've never seen her speak.

Natsuki : "I don't know why you are so nice... But I feel like you're the only person I can tell this to."

Natsuki : "My parents have been divorced most of my life and I live with my dad now."

Natsuki : "He's was always mean to me, but..."

Natsuki : "When I turned 18 he started saying "You're 18, you can support yourself!""

Natsuki : "And last night he told me he's gonna kick me out."

Natsuki : "But I don't have anywhere to go, and I can't afford it anyway.."

Natsuki : "I don't make enough money right now to even eat enough as it is..."

Natsuki : "...So, that's the situation I'm in..."

Natsuki : "There's no one I can ask for help or talk to.. My family doesn't even speak to me."

Natsuki : "They all tell me I'm worthless.."

Natsuki : "Maybe they're right... I can't even feed myself."

MC : "You're not worthless!"

MC : "Don't worry Natsuki... I'm here to support you."

MC : "You don't have to go back there."

MC : "You can stay at my place."

Natsuki's watery eyes meet mine.

Natsuki : "R-really?..."

MC : "Of course."

MC : "For as long as necessary."

Natsuki hugs me one more time, then stands up.

The bell was about to ring.

I hand Natsuki my lunch bag.

MC : "Don't protest. Just take it."

MC : "You can meet me after school, okay?"

Natsuki : "T-Thank you."

She looks me in the eye one more time before turning around.

The bell rings and people come flooding down the hall for their next class.

She disappears into the crowd.

That was definitely the right thing to do, right?

I now realize that Natsuki is definitely still in a bad situation, so I need to do everything I can in my power to help her.

It was weird to see Natsuki opening up like that, even if she resisted it at first.

For now, I turn around and make my way to my next class, contemplating the strange situation I'm in.