Song Suggestion: Skyscraper by Demi Lovato

CAL

How is it so much can happen in just a couple of days? Just yesterday we were fighting for our lives. Then today I buried my brother, abdicated my throne, and now they've buried Mare.

I couldn't find it in me to be there with the family. After everything that I've done, it would be disrespectful. Yes, I gave up the crown, but not quickly enough. And because of it, I lost Mare forever. I lost her in every way you can lose a person.

The Scarlet Guard flag does not flap in the wind. Today there it's not a cloud in the sky. There is no storm. In its own way, the sky mourns for Mare too.

At the pole's base is where a memorial has been gradually growing for a few hours now. Nanabel was right, news has broken that Mare is dead. People come and go to place flowers and candles and pictures drawn by children at the base. It makes me both bitter and thankful.

Bitter for a number of reasons. One being, Maven will never have this. Years will pass and they will celebrate his death and they will mourn the Lightning Girl. But they will never truly mourn Mare. They didn't know her like I did. They only know the face of a rebellion.

I watch for hours, and I even see Titan, Rafe, and Ella come by. Ella carries a bouquet of flowers with deep purple petals.

I see some children from the Notch drop by. But one person catches my eye. Just when the traffic begins to die down a girl, maybe sixteen, that I've never seen before stops before the makeshift memorial. She doesn't look like a soldier or anyone resembling something similar. And the way she holds herself makes it clear she is slightly uncomfortable.

I watch closely as she kneels down and carefully places a purple candle on the ground. She sits on her heels and claps her hands together.

She has long wavy hair the color of pomegranate seeds. Her skin has a light tan like someone would get from being outside in the sun. Her head bows and she whispers something, but from this distance, I can't hear. After a few moments she stands and wrapping her arms around herself, she hastily walks away. It's dark by the time I gather the courage to go to the memorial. I feel the heat of the flames from the candles in my veins, calling out to me.

A part of me wants to snuff them all out so they may mimic what I feel inside. But I don't, I watch as they burn. Then I feel a new warmth, one not from the candles or the summer night, but from someone else.

"She said all she ever wanted was for you to pick a side," Farley says.

"Too bad it took me this long to pick the right one. Now, I have nothing."

"You're not alone Cal."

"And what about you? How do you feel, Farley? Tell me, does it get better? Will I ever be able to stand the pain?"

"I'll let you know as soon as I figure it out myself."

"It evens out," a familiar voice interrupts.

Both Farley and I turn to find Kilorn standing behind us, hands in his pockets.

"What?"

"Once upon a time I had lost everything. I was just a kid, but I remember the feeling. The loneliness and the fear of what comes next. After my dad died and my mom abandoned me, I thought that was it. I was destined to die alone on the streets."

My brow furrows, as does Farley's. She's never heard this story before either. Yes, I knew Kilorn had no family, but only because he never talked about it.

"I was so angry and bitter," Kilorn continues. "I hated everything and everyone. But then, one day I picked a fight with the wrong person." Somehow Kilorn finds it in himself to smile. "And she kicked my ass."

Farley huffs, "Mare."

"She was a fighter, even back then." His eyes go distant, lost in memory. I see him clearer than I ever have. His shoulders sag and dark circles camp under his eyes. He's known Mare his whole life, longer than any of us.

"How are you Kilorn?" I ask.

He shrugs, "As best as I can be. As best as we all can be."

I nod in agreement.

"I heard what you did," he continues.

"It should've been done a long time ago."

"Faley is right though, you're not alone any more than any of us. Friend doesn't even begin to describe what Mare was to me. But my point was when I thought I had nothing, turns out I had a lot to live for. I found a new family, and maybe it didn't replace the one I had, but it helped heal the wound."

"But the scar will always be there."

"It's supposed to."

"Besides," Farley interjects. "You have us."

I raise an eyebrow. "You guys?"

Farley shrugs and Kilorn chuckles, "Look at us. We all hated each other when we met. Now we're friends."

Friends.

My cheek twitches in an attempt to smile. Farley does the same. But the heartache is still there, a new weight. Farley and Kilorn are right. I have friends who I can always lean on. And I feel like we'll be doing a lot of that.

I look down at the memorial. At all the things people have left. A strange calm comes over me and I can't explain it. I just welcome it, I think it will be along while before I feel it again. Before the three of us leave I study the purple candle. It stands out and I catch the faint scent of lavender.

ANALYSIS

Okay, so I know these past few chapters have been depressing and I'm sorry. And trust me when I say it was really hard for me not write in where Cal rises from the ashes and comes to terms with Mare and Maven's death. But according to the timeline, they died the previous day. So realistically, Cal is going to be mourning for a while.

Having said that I chose this song because I thought it represents him the best. He's lost everything and has been torn down in every way. But remember that skyscrapers take a long time to build and they also take a lot of people working together to make them. And the skyscraper is not only Cal, Kilorn and Farley healing, but it also Norta and the Lakelands as well.

Two things I also wanted touch on: Kilorn is the only one that smiles and sort of laughs in this chapter. Mare had commented on it numerous times. Kilorn has this thing where he jokes around in dark situations. And Mare would also smile and joke with him, but because she's gone, there is no one that gets his humor or laugh and smile with him. :(

Another thing is the candles. Yes, often when you see memorials there are candles but they also have a double meaning in this case. It's another reference to Queen Song.

She was happy, yes, in her own way, as best she knew. But there is a difference between a single candle in darkness, and a sunrise.

So take that for what you will.

And just for me to test how closely you've been paying attention. Who was it that placed the candle?

Also, this is the last chapter I'll be writing with these three characters for this story. They won't get any page time until the sequel. I definitely left a lot of questions unanswered on purpose, but I will further explain that in Chapter 50.

These last few chapters are something I've been planning and leading up to for a while now. And it is what sets a very large foundation for the sequel build on.

So just bare with me and prepare to be confused.