AN: Hi everyone! I hope all of you are enjoying the story so far. I was hit with a little bit of writer's block since this chapter is told through Haymitch POV. How does he really feel? Can he control himself in front of Effie? And what is he willing to do to keep her safe?

You'll just have to read to find out.

Like always sit back and enjoy.

Review if you like

Disclaimer: I own nothing, nothing at all.

Haymitch's POV

I was pressed against the wall with a frosty glass of beer in my hands listening to some Capital tycoon talk about how my tributes looked promising this year. I nodded and tilted my head at him in agreement. I had stop listening the moment I had convinced him to sponsor District 12. After that I stood there nodding and smiling as required while counting the minutes before I could rid myself of this monkey suit. As I lifted the glass to my mouth and swallow, I had to remind myself to be keep myself sober for rest of this night at least.

I was still listening mindlessly to the gentlemen in front of me when he looked up amused and said to me.

"Isn't that your District's escort?"

I turned around and saw Effie in a sinful dress being twirled by a man dressed in an obnoxious tuxedo and prefect gel back yellow gold hair. She was laughing and beaming at him. I clenched my glass tighter before turning back around and barking out.

"Yes it is."

The gentlemen eyes followed her movements before saying.

"She is sure a lovely sight to watch."

I smiled politely at him before responding,

"Everyone does seem to be taken by her."

"If my eyes don't deceive me, I think she is enjoying his company as well. Have a goodnight Haymitch and may the odds be ever in your tribute favor."

The gentlemen turned around and walk off but my eyes turned to Effie and I saw what he was talking about. She was kissing that guy! What in the hell?! I gulp down my drink and glared at her. Her gorgeous greens fell on me, and then she walk away. What was she playing it? If that was her way of getting sponsors all these years then tonight was going to be the very last night of that. I knew she would be heading back to the penthouse. So I bid my goodbyes and rushed back to the penthouse.

I took a deep breathe and open the door only to find Miss. Effie crossed legged on the couch removing her ridicules shoes.

I stalked over to her and let my fingers lightly touch her cheek. Her body froze for a moment but then very slowly she lean in. I sat down beside her and placed a kiss on her neck. She turned her head to look at me before saying.

"Don't, I'm mad at you."

Mad about what? She knew that I saw and was trying to get out of it, and it wasn't going to work. So I smirk at her and said,

"Wouldn't be the first time sweetheart."

"I'm going to bed, its be a long night."

"Well kissing sponsors until midnight can tire someone out, can't it?"

"What?"

"I saw you don't act like you don't know."

"I wasn't kissing him to ensure a sponsorship."

"Yeah right!"

"Is that what you really think of me?"

"Don't turn this around Effie, don't turn it around."

She shot from her seat and headed for her room. Without thought I grab her wrist and pulled her back. My eyes drank in her white paint face and innocent doe eyes, that look certainly didn't fit her. I laughed harshly and hiss out.

"Now I know why all you Capital girl wear makeup…you all want to look innocent and naïve when you're not. Spending your nights kissing unknown men and who know what else."

"How dare you? You know me and you know that I have never done anything you are accusing me of."

"I thought I knew you, but I was wrong."

She pushed her wrist away from my grip and stood up again before shouting.

"You're despicable and I hate you with all I have."

I saw tears built in her eyes and my harden heart soften for this women. I could never see her cry. I instantly felt bad and rose to my feet and embrace her tightly. She fought against me but I held onto her and said.

"Princess, shhhh…I…you know me."

That somehow made her still and bury her head in my chest and whispered.

"Why did you say all those thing to me? I…I always come back and never gave anyone especially you a reason to doubt me. I love those kids that come and go and I want the best for them but I will do it the right way."

She was right, I knew she was but my brain and heart were still harden at the idea that another man had touch what is mine, and only mine. So I rose my hand to her face and lifted her chin so her eyes could meet mine. Her beautiful green eyes were filled with unshed tears. I lean down and pressed my lips warmly and passionately against hers, pouring into that kiss the words I wouldn't let slip.

I love her but I couldn't let her know…no one could ever know. I lose my family at sixteen, because I didn't play by the Capital's rules. I couldn't put her at risk, anymore than I already had. I couldn't lose Effie because I would die without her in my life. I looked forward every year to seeing her and kissing her and touching her. She thought that alcohol was my vice but she was. I could sleep well at night when she was around. I could stay sober for longer when she was around. She was the light that kept ever dark thought away.

So I continue to kiss her imprinting her lips in my memory. Before slowly pulling away and whispering into her ear.

"You're mine, only mine."

She slowly pulled away from my lips and stared at me. She bit her swollen lips and replied.

"I'm yours, always been…I love you."

Her words hit home, and I wanted to say them back but I couldn't. So I detangle myself from her and hushed out.

"Don't Effie, don't love me."

Her green eyes capture my grey into a burning stare and said,

"Look at me and tell me that you don't feel the same way…tell me."

Her eyes searched mine dark grey for an answer but she sometimes forgets who I am. I'm Haymitch Abernathy the victor of the Hunger Games. I know how to hid my emotions from those that I hated and saw as my enemies. That what allow me to go on tour and not completely lose it. I hid my emotion from her and said,

"I don't love you. Keep that in mind."

"Then why am I yours, if you don't love me?"

"I'm a selfish possessive man, and you knew that the day you meet me."

She nodded her head and pushed me away from her, hard I might add. Her green eyes burn and look at me and shouted.

"Then remember this, I can do what I wish with whom I wish because I don't belong to anyone especially not you. I love you Haymitch but I won't be your puppet for a moment longer."

Then she turn on her heels and ran up the stairs and slam her bedroom door. I drop my eyes to the floor and breathe out. I grab the nearest glass and filled it to the brim with whiskey and gulp it down. I was so stupid. I fell in a messy heap on the couch and close my eyes.

For the first time since I first kiss her all those years go, I didn't go to her that night. I couldn't fix what was broken, all I could give her is space and maybe bandage the damage I have created. Because she could never knew the truth. She couldn't know that she held my heart for better or worse.