Astro Boy
Which God is which?
An Astro/Zoran 2003 fan fiction
By Dan rush
Based on the 1980 Astro Boy Episode 44 "Uran's Quest"
Astro Boy / Tetsuwan Atom by Osamu Tezuka 1954. All rights respected. For non-profit fandom only.
Chapter 4
8pm
Astro's room
Atlas lay on his stomach with his chin in his hands smiling pleasingly..."I want to stay here and get grounded more often. You know why?"
"Why?" Astro asked as he sat scanning through another book and browsing the internet.
"Because your mom can cook." Atlas sighed. "I've tried human foods in so many places but your mother can make such an awesome chicken pot pie. The taste is still very fresh in my memory."
"Well she cooked for a resturaunt in Daimachi before she met my Dad." Astro replied.
"I thought your parents were made for you and Zoran?" Atlas asked as he reached out to the study table and took another book.
"Uh...uh..." Astro said. "My mom and Dad met each other and then they both went through an overhaul at the ministry and Reno introduced them to us and my mom decided the whole thing."
Atlas cocked his head. "What's it like? Having a mother?"
"Soft." Astro replied. "I'm a huggy magnet."
"But you're smarter and more powerful than they are right?" Atlas asked.
"That's not a qualification when it comes to love." Astro replied. "You spend a minute being hugged upon by her? All the day's troubles go "feewwwoooo". Let me tell you Atlas...one time you got me so upset and frustraited, I came home balling rain in the house."
Atlas pursed his lips. "Why were you crying for me?"
"I felt I'd never get you to change from where you were going. You know how frustarted I got. I was afraid you'd end up destroyed. But...after my mom gave me a nice hug and kisses? Much better."
Astro skimmed through the book in his hands for a few minutes then blew a breath... "I'm reading "The God Dillusion" by Professor Richard Dawkins? Wow the God of the Bible is mean."
"Is he?" Atlas asked. "I thought Jesus was a nice guy? You realize Christianity believes God is three persons in one right?"
"That makes no sense." Astro replied. "Any way...Mister Dawkins has a lot against God...The flood...wiping out whole populations of people...blasting Sodom off the earth..."
"Humans can be wicked excessively." Atlas replied. "And who are they to tell God anything?"
"Yeah but..." Astro replied. "What gives God the right to wipe out a whole city?"
"Look who was telling me earlier about God being unquestionable and now who's a flaming hypocrite?" Atlas snoted.
"I didn't say God wasn't unquestionable." Astro replied crossing his arms.
"When we came back to the house and you told your Dad that we were "air dragging" and I gave him lip? What did your Dad do?" Atlas asked.
"He busted bolts in your ass." Astro replied.
"And I bet he's busted your butt more than once huh? Don't tell me you're always mister boy scout Astro?"
Astro scrunched his head into his shoulders..."Yeah...there have been times. Once I got so lippy? I swore. Big mistake. Could have played "Ride of the Valkarie" to the contacts and the smoking ruin of my behind."
"So...being disobediant get's punishment in return right?" Atlas said. "Now I understand God much better...my kind of guy."
Astro frowned at Atlas.
"Look...let me explain." Atlas said as he stood up. "Adam and Eve right? What does Mister Dawkins say about them?"
Astro flipped through the book. "He says God screwed them over and punished them because they didn't know right from wrong."
"What a load of crap." Atlas replied. "If you read the story? God made Adam and Eve just like him right? Which means they had his looks, his character and his mind though not "like gods" Divine beings, get the drift...which means they weren't stupid. They even said they understood about the whole "don't eat" thing and yet they did what they were not supposed to do then they flat out lied about it."
Astro picked up a bible..."I don't see that."
Atlas pointed. "Right there...Adam blamed Eve, Eve turned and blamed the snake. Typical stupid humans; when caught? Lie like crazy. So God tanned them real good, which is why I like him."
Astro frowned. "You like a mass murderer? He flooded the whole world."
"Are you really going to take the word of a human?" Atlas huffed as he took Dawkin's book and chucked it aside. "Once again? Who's bigger? Richard Dawkins or God?"
Astro pursed his lips..."God...but still..."
"And the whole world was corrupt for man had corrupted his way upon the Earth." That says the whole world was absolutely evil down to the bones and if you read it further even the animals were messed up so God saved Noah and a few animals because if he didn't...so much for robots, we wouldn't be here. Or...you and I would be some seriously powerful and dangerous killers ourselves."
"Where are you pulling all of this up?" Astro snorted.
"If you sit down and read it instead of listening to some human moron who toots his own horn, you might learn something. I mean look at this, this guy Dawkins spends more paper talking about his ten thousand stupid awards than anything factual." Atlas tapped Astro's forehead with a finger. "Read silly...not skim...read."
"Hmph." Astro snorted. "You're the one who complained I was looking for something that didn't exist."
"That was before I found out there was one place where humans don't get off being dumb." Atlas huffed back. "I guess you're going to tell me now that humans can't be as wicked as you think?"
"Certainly not beyond caring about." Astro said as he sat brooding.
Atlas cocked his head. "So now you're angry at me?"
"A little..." Astro replied. "You talked down to me like I was an idiot."
"Oh come on!" Atlas huffed. "I jump on you just a little and you get all pissy over it? You're usually not this thin skinned. All I said was you need to read everything carefully before you go off listening to some breying jackass human...you should know better than to put all your trust in any humans...save Reno and Kenichi Kennedy...those two I trust...a little bit more than most."
"Ok?" Astro said as he stood up and put his hands on his hips. "What about Sodom and Gomorrah? Did God just have cart blanche to wipe out cities with thousands of people without a trial?"
Atlas was silent for a moment as he search through the internet looking at both sides..."Yeah...he did...and they had a defense attourney too."
Astro looked through a bible. "No they didn't."
Atlas wrapped an arm around Astro's shoulders and pointed..."Yes they did. Abraham. He got God to agree that if he found just ten righteous people, he would spare the city. He didn't find any more than Lot and Lot was a messed up guy. The people of Sodom even threatened to kill him. They got a fair trial."
Atlas stood tapping a toe..."I really like this God. This is certainly a more accurate depiction of God than I've seen so far."
Astro sat frowning..."He doesn't register as being fair to me at all. I need some time to read more of this."
Atlas sat on the floor next to Astro..."Are you angry at me?"
"Well...yeah...given that you've said some very nasty things about humans." Astro replied brooding.
"When I said that humans belong in kennels? I said it because their whole history isn't very pleasing reading...or don't the junk piles where they've thrown many of our abused kin like worthless trash make you just a little upset?" Atlas asked.
Astro sighed. "Not all robots can be kept running forever."
"I know...but when we "die" for lack of a better term. Don't you think we deserve just a little respect? I've seen so few humans honestly give a damn about us when we "fail out"...save Officer Kanagawa...that picture of him holding "Buddy 260" makes me so upset."
Astro wiped an eye..."I know...I can't look at it."
"Seriously wounded and yet he refused to leave 260's side until help came for him first. Now that's a noble human I love...so rare." Atlas stood up and wiped his face. "Damn...now I'm gonna have a crying fit...why can't these stupid humans stop some of their silly crap! Makes me think it's good to have a God around...otherwise these stupid fat bags would blow the world up."
Astro sighed..."Maybe that's why we're here? To be a sort of breakwater so they can have as much time as they can to work things out?"
Atlas leaned against a wall. "I don't know why? You ask me trying to be nice to them is pointless. According to the Bible, they killed people who tried to warn them about their stupidity. They even nailed the Son of God to a tree...doesn't look like there's any hope for them so why bother being so nice?"
Astro stood up and rubbed his head. "You and I really are not far apart as you always thought...you don't think I don't get upset sometimes at humans? I don't sit in my room a lot and pound my bed till the stuffing flies out? Ask Zoran? One time I got so angry? I threw my television out the window and yelled a couple of swears...boy did the doctor tan my butt."
Atlas's mouth drooped. "You? Mister "Kum bai jah" kissy kissy huggies with humans? You got angry?"
"I said ask her didn't I?" Astro replied. "I even said they belong in cages. I agreed with you 100 percent...till I realized how close I was to becoming as wicked as you were when we first met."
Atlas shrugged..."Then why the hell keep trying? I told you their stupid, stubborn and brainless...why bother?"
"Why would God still care?" Astro replied. "Because they're worth it, that's why. They're worth it and by us caring about them and for them? We have our worth. I guess love isn't anything unless you're willing to put something to it that gives it meaning."
Astro thought for a moment. "I need to make a phone call." He said as he set his internal radio and brought up a number.
9pm
First Baptist Church of Metro City
"I got it." The white haired boy said as he picked up the phone. "You've reached the first Baptist Church of Metro City this is Soul Nagi speaking."
"Hey Soul?" Astro replied. "Is Pastor Ishihara there? I need to talk to him."
"Nope...he's in the states right now but Maka is here." Soul turned towards the living room. "Hey Maka? Astro's on the phone."
Maka came running and took the receiver. "Evening Astro."
"Hey Maka? I got a question to ask you. Remember that time you said a soul has a physical weight?"
"Yeah." Maka replied. "That was a scientific theory developed by a Doctor in the late 1800's but he never proved it out...why?"
"What's the weight he came up with? Just out of curiosity?" Astro asked
"21.7 grams." Maka replied..."why?"
Astro looked at Atlas..."I want you to weight me tomorrow against my known factory weight."
Maka smirked. "You're serious?"
"Yup." Astro replied
"Do you have a scale at the Ministry of Science that can measure that precise?" She asked.
"Ummmm...duh..." Astro replied. "Can you do it?"
"Tomorrow at 9am?" Maka asked. Astro could hear soul laughing behind her till she batted him off the head.
"Thanks a lot." Astro said as he put the phone down and watch Atlas smirk at him.
"You...have lost your bolts." Atlas huffed.
"It's just a thought." Astro replied. "Question is? What would you do if it does come out like I'm thinking? Then how will you react?"
Atlas snickered back. "I'll still think you're a human hugging dufus but now you're in need of an extra special ass whooping instead of the standard."
Astro put a finger in Atlas's face. "You're afraid it might actually happen? It'll prove god exists and that robots are capable of being given souls and then you'll have to surrender your little superiority complex huh?"
Atlas snorted. "Hmph...I'm pretty confident what's going to happen. I won't lose an hours sleep tonight."
End of Chapter 4