Astro Boy
Which God is which?
An Astro/Zoran 2003 fan fiction
By Dan rush
Based on the 1980 Astro Boy Episode 44 "Uran's Quest"
Astro Boy / Tetsuwan Atom by Osamu Tezuka 1954. All rights respected. For non-profit fandom only.
Chapter 5
Astro's room
1:25am
Astro felt the hands rubbing his chest and woke to see Atlas sitting by the air mattress. "Umm...hmph...it's 1 in the morning..." Astro said sleepishly.
"I know." Atlas replied. "Just a quick question...if you do have a soul? Does that mean I have one too?"
"How should I know?" Astro sighed..."I thought you said you'd sleep good tonight?"
"I was curious." Atlas replied. "I'll see you in the morning." Atlas crawed back into the bed and snuggled his teddy bear...
"Awww...you look so cute." Astro said smirking.
"Shut up." Atlas snapped back. "He helps me sleep ok?"
"Don't burn a hole in him." Astro said chuckling.
"Sick! You want me to pound you?!" Atlas yelped.
Astro's room
2:10am
"Ummm!...Atlas?! What?!" Astro huffed as Atlas woke him up again.
"If I do have a soul? Does that mean that if I'm bad, God will punish me?" Atlas asked.
"You're being bad right now by waking me up." Atlas huffed back. "Go back to bed?"
"I'm just curious, that's all." Atlas replied as he crawled back into the bed.
Astro's room
2:45am
"Atlas?! What now?!" Astro said as he sat up.
"Do you think I'm...I'm like a really bad robot, a semi-bad robot or a close shave robot?" Atlas asked as he played with his hands.
Astro sighed..."I think you're a good robot who could be a little bit better ok? Seriously Atlas? Stop having panic attacks and go to bed?"
Atlas climbed back onto the bed and snuggled his teddy bear. This time...Astro got up and leaned over the red boy bot..."Hey? Honestly? I think you're a good robot who sometimes goes over-board on the protection thing. But you're better today than you were when we first met...that's for sure."
Atlas turned over..."What would God think of me?"
Astro snickered..."You need to spend a few months in a whale like Jonah, I bet being covered in whale poop is a strong enough punishment to get your attention."
Atlas smirked..."Man...God does some messed up things to people."
"Like making them get into arguments with donkeys?" Astro said chuckling.
"What?" Atlas replied.
"Yeah...check it out in the book of Numbers." Astro said. "God created Shrek. Maybe he should Disney for copyright violation?"
"Astro?" Atlas asked. "Go back to sleep? You're so fricken annoying."
9am
Ministry of Science
Maka and Soul walked into the Ministry of Science and met Reno Takahashi as he was walking from the bathroom on the first floor...
"Hey Maka." Reno said waving. "So tell me again why I just ran Astro like dirty laundry over three times now?"
"Obviously he's blaming me for it huh?" Maka replied. "We're testing a theory or did he tell you the story yet?"
"If you want my opinion? I think he needs a good diagnostic examination." Reno replied. "Astro comes up with these funny theories all the time but this one? Thinking he might have a soul?"
"What's his factory weight right now? You didn't pre-weight him did you?" Make asked as they entered an elevator.
"No..." Reno replied. "He's had four modifications since Doctor Tenma built him. His base weight after the fourth mod is 68038.9 grams or 150 pounds."
Soul snickered. "Little fat ass needs a diet."
"Now...I know you're a pastor's daughter but what's Soul here? He's not family?" Reno asked as they all left the elevator.
"No." Maka replied. "Soul deals with demonic possessions...suicidal cases, drug addicts...people who need a strong spiritual intervention." Maka said.
"And no...I don't do the "smack in the face" Benny Hind thing." Soul replied. Talk about stupid quack jobs. I'm just good at laying out the truth to people and getting results. Just say I'm Narcan for the soul."
The three arrived at a room where Atlas was standing reading a bible while Astro stood in a pressure chamber going through a vacuuming and air cleaning session...
"I found it!" Atlas yelped. "You're right? This guy's in a chewing match with a donkey and there's an angel with a flaming sword standing right next to him? This is hilarious!"
"Oh that story?" Maka said as she walked up. "You'll find God loves to use animals. Lions, Bears, Camels..."
"Can even make a Camel go through the eye of a needle." Soul said.
Atlas smirked. "That sounds stupid. A camel going through the eye of a sewing needle?"
"Not the needle you're thinking about." Soul replied. "See...when King David captured Jerusalem, he re-designed the walls to defend the Holy of Holy at the city's center. The entry points in David's Jerusalem were just large enough for an unpacked camel to go through...what's called "a needle" hence the allegory about a rich man and heaven. See in order to enter Jerusalem...a rich man had to unpack his camel and leave his belongings outside to slip the camel through. Problem is, highwaymen could then easily steal his belongings so he had to chose between them or getting inside the city. Same thing with sins...you have to be willing to leave your sins behind and go un-packed into the city to go to the Holy of Holy."
Atlas scratched his head. "Why doesn't God just make it clear enough to understand?"
Maka replied. "Do you want to carry around a book that would weight as much as a city bus all day long?"
Astro was waving from the vacuum chamber..."Hi!"
Maka found the speaker-phone..."You ready yet?"
"I should be." Astro replied. "Reno drowned me in enough turco to wash a jumbo jet."
Reno hit a button which opened a sliding glass door to the sterile chamber where the scale pad sat. "Ok...step on the pad."
Astro walked onto the pad and stood still as Maka and Reno watched the scale on their side...
"Don't fidget Astro." Reno warned.
The numbers stabilized..."68,060.6" Reno said.
Maka looked at Soul then at Reno then at Atlas..."Astro? Get back into the air lock and get cleaned out again."
Maka looked at the number..."21.7 grams over-weight."
Atlas walked up and looked at the number. "Are you sure? Was he weighted with a full energy cell in the reactor?"
"He has a 100 percent fresh one now. I put it in this morning." Reno replied.
After ten minutes...Maka waved to Astro. "Go back on the scale."
She watched the numbers stabilize again..."68,060.6" Reno said.
Maka looked at Soul..."21.7 grams over-weight." She then motioned to Astro. "Come back in the air lock one more time and the next time you get on the scale? Lay down flat."
Ten more minutes went by and Maka motioned Astro to get into the chamber and lay on the scale pad...
The readings stablized again..."21.7 Grams over-weight"
Astro sat up for a moment scratching his head..."What if I went totally cold iron?"
"You can't." Reno warned. "To do that? We'd have to shut down your processor and if we do that?...We can't even copy it to install it later...you know that. You would be dead...as in dead dead no more Astro."
Astro pounded a hand with a fist. "Well how else will we know if I have a real soul if we don't try it?"
"Don't push your luck." Maka replied. "Don't tempt God..." She paced about the floor..."You've been scrubbed from head to toe, we've eliminated any other possibility and the numbers if we did remove anything significant should have changed...yet here's what we're faced with...it would seem...if the theory holds out from the three actual people who's deaths were recorded with the loss of that amount of weight...it would seem that somehow...Astro has a soul."
Atlas drooped..."What about me? Do I have one too?"
Make replied..."If we had your factory weight? We could tell. But given your own situation Atlas? We don't have a base weight to work with."
Atlas sat moping..."I'm confused...how can Astro have a soul? I thought only humans could have that and that you had to be born to have one. How did he get one?"
"Well...my Dad is a pastor and I'm not so its' not really my place to say anything with authority but I'll tell you what I do know. Sometimes God picks people for gifts and often he bestows abilities and powers on people, animals or things to accomplish his will and because he loves us humans a lot...and trust me, you must have some super awesome patience to deal with us humans..."
"God needs super Tylanol." Atlas said.
"Well..." Maka said as she looked at Astro. "Humans built robots at first because they felt robots could be good helpers and there's a few robots who...you might call... have a super rarity uncommon to their peers. I'd say God decided that Astro's quite a robot worthy of a little extra boost."
Astro came out of the chamber looking at how Atlas looked sad..."I wonder... if I'm worthy?" Atlas said sulking.
Astro wrapped an arm around Atlas's shoulders and gave him a hug. "You're more than worthy for me to call you my friend."
Atlas pushed him away for a moment..."Cut it out..."sniff"
Astro smiled. "You big cry baby...I'll be shocked if you don't have a soul because you care way too much not too."
Atlas fell back into a big hug as Astro turned to Maka..."Hey? Can I ask you a favor?"
Friday Morning
First Baptist Church of Metro City
Maka and Soul stood outside welcoming people as they came to the door, among them Mauri-chan and her parents...
"We're only here because my daughter said she was curious." Umichika snorted. "What is this all about?"
"You'll find out when you take your seat Sir." Maka replied. "And please? Don't make up your mind until you sit through it all?"
As they entered the church, Mauri saw Zoran and ran towards her..."Mauri! You stay away from that robot!"
Mauri-chan turned to give her father a sneer then turned to give Zoran a little light punch on the shoulder..."I've missed playing with you."
"I've missed you too." Zoran replied.
Umichika stomped up snorting. "Mauri! Did you hear me tell you..."
"Yes I did Daddy!" Mauri huffed. "About a hundred times! What's wrong with me playing with Zoran? Is she some sort of stupid doomsday device?!" Mauri-chan fumbled with Zoran's clothes..."Gee, I don't see a bomb?...Daddy? Go sit down and stop being a rock?"
Umichika was shocked. "Young lady..."
Suddenly...Father Atom stood up. "Umichika? Why are you trying to put grudges between our children? It seems your daughter's more intelligent then you...let her make her own choices will you and stop smothering her to death! Now sit down and be respectful."
Umichika wisely sat as Maka came walking up to the podium at the front of the church...
"Welcome everyone...this is an extraordinary service today because...well something was found out a few days back which might be a little shocking but...I'll let our guest speaker tell you himself...Astro?" Maka motioned Astro to come up and stand at the podium...till he realized that he couldn't be seen behind it...
"I uh? Didn't know your dad was a giant there Maka?" Astro said giggling which got the crowd laughing and Atlas snickering...
"We didn't know you were a munchkin dufus!" Atlas snapped.
Once Astro got a soap box to stand on, he waved a finger at Atlas. "You better not heckle me through this!"
"You better not be boring!" Atlas replied, enlisting laughs.
Astro smiled and rubbed his head. "Well...uh...hi everybody...um...this whole thing came about because of a little argument between my Sister Zoran and her best friend Mauri-Chan...which they seemed to have forgotten since they're fooling around in the front row!"
Zoran froze with a rubber ball bouncing among the jacks spread in the floor...
"Put those away?" Astro ordered. "Just like a little sister...asks me to solve a question and follows her A.D.D."
"Just like an older brother." Zoran replied. "When he's not a knuckle banging cave man, he's a tyrant!"
Astro waited a few minutes till Zoran settled down in her seat. "Are we done? Can I keep going? Thank you...ummmm..."
…."In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness [was] upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.
And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. And God saw the light, that [it was] good: and God divided the light from the darkness. And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day.
And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters. And God made the firmament, and divided the waters
which [were] under the firmament from the waters which [were] above the firmament: and it was so. And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day.
And God said, Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry [land] appear: and it was so. And God called the dry [land]
Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called he Seas: and God saw that [it was] good. And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, [and] the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed [is] in itself, upon the earth: and it was so. And the earth brought forth grass, [and] herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed [was] in itself, after
his kind: and God saw that [it was] good. And the evening and the morning were the third day.
"As I said before...this whole thing started with an argument between my little sister and her best friend. My sister Zoran asked me to find God so she could give him a piece of her mind...my little sister is really head strong so I didn't dare tell her no."
"Some people say we robots are just a bunch of wires and bolts and screws and computer chips with a program which tells us what to do. I guess that's an accurate assumption yet I read those passages from Genesis because there's a little reminder in there that we robots are made from the minerals of the earth and those minerals were made by God."
"I also read those passages because it just so happens that those same passages were spoken by three humans aboard a tiny space capsule as it became the first human creation to round the moon...which I remind you all that in some ways that capsule was a primitive...well...rather simple robot, built by humans out of the minerals created by God."
"Humans seem to believe in God. If they did not then you wouldn't have had so many people glued to the televisions for that broadcast...as old as it is now...nor had so many humans been shown on television as if they were praying. What really surprises me when I watch the films from the old mission control? There among all the slide rules and mounds of papers written full of numbers and equations and all the scientists who you might think were not very keen on the idea of God? There sure were a lot of people praying for three humans floating in space...and about as many praying the capsule with the IQ of a coffee maker didn't get suddenly stupid."
"When humans made us robots...you didn't set out to make us terminators or predator drones or spooky things that pop out of space ships with glowing red eyes."
"That's stupid." Atlas snickered. "At least give the guy some personality."
"Atlas?" Astro warned. "You're breaking my stride?"
"What stride? I'm trying not to nod off here...zzzzzzzz...sawing logs."
People laughed.
"And I wish you'd have built more of us with a little respect for others?" Astro said. "When humans made robots, you wanted us to be helpers, to make life easier and better for you. It just so happens that strangely? You decided to use a lot from this book in our programming...in fact...about oh...99 percent if I did the math right."
"You can't even tie a shoe right." Zoran snickered.
"Moon boots don't have shoe laces fancy Nancy." Astro replied. "Will you two let me finish?"
"Sigh"...So...my little sister Zoran wanted to find out where God lives so she could give him a piece of her mind...Atlas? Now we all know Atlas don't we? He... wants to graffiti tag heaven with his sore displeasure."
"We robots can't deny the fact that our creators, you humans, give us fits. You fill our heads with what you think is all the right things while none of you seem capable of doing all the right things you program us with. Me and Atlas have had our share of fist fights, arguments and demolition derbies...trust me we're not cheep...over you humans and some of the stupid things you do. I've had Atlas over my house the last few nights trying to find God, where he lives and how we could write him a little complaint letter to ask him to kindly do a sort of product safety recall to fix a few of you...ok...lots of you because you're broke and you're kinda virus infected."
People started to grumble...
"Now before you start running for Home Depot and grabbing pitch forks and torches? Hear me out?"
Astro stepped from the podum and walked to the front row of seats..."I'm a product of love. One time a man lost the only child he ever had, it broke his heart. So in desperation...and really not thinking clearly...he made me and in doing so he put all the things about his own son into my processor. Turns out Tobby Tenma loved people, loved robots, loved animals and loved God...mmmmm...about more than my arms stretched out...that's a lot of love."
"God seems to love humans so much that he doesn't quit...he's stubborn. Tobby loved robots so much? He stood up to his Dad, the sad thing is...because he loved robots so much? He walked out on his Dad, wasn't looking where he was going and he lost his life. When you're willing to lose your life because you love something or someone so much that you don't care about yourself? I guess a little God rubbed off on you didn't it?"
"Well?...I guess I'm like that paper you use to make rubbings of things on...because all that love and stubbornness was thrown into me. And though most of you humans are at times stubborn, stupid, clumsy, crazy and absolutely make me want to bounce my head off the backstop of a basketball net sometimes?...I love you so much, I'm more than willing to throw my life away to save any one of you and do you know why?"
The church was silent.
"I'm thankful...I'm very thankful. I thank God for making everything...which must have been a lot of work and he only took one day off...I've seen humans sue employers to get an hour off...maybe they should be thankful to have a job? I'm thankful for every atom that makes me?...me. I'm thankful I can hear myself talk, I'm thankful I can dance...well...sort of dance."
(laughter)
"I'm thankful for my parents, my little sister, my school friends...um...yeah, even thankful for that smirky trouble-maker named Atlas..."
"Better be." Atlas huffed. "If I wasn't here, you'd be a desk calculator."
(laughter)
"God probably thought I needed a challenge." Astro said as he sat down. "I'm even thankful for my creator...or my "Dad" as some of you know...I guess God gave me something else that's important besides being thankful...how to forgive and how to love. I love my "Dad"...I know he's never been a nice "Dad"...I know he's "a few things" as some would say..."Short of a full deck" but you know? I love him and I forgive him because I got all that from him, from all of you and from God...I really don't think people are thankful enough for all their blessed with...I know more than a few robots who are just like that too."
Astro stood for a moment..."Wow...I'm really running the race track huh? Let me get to the point of all this..."
"About time dufus!" Atlas snapped.
Zoran snatched an ear and pulled..."Sit down?"
"Ouch! He's rambling! Just like a typical human infected bot." Atlas sat with Zoran steaming at him.
"Please don't make me hurt you in here? You're degrading my image of you." Zoran warned with a shaking fist.
Astro shook his head. "I promise I won't take more time...Atlas needs his binkie"
(laughter)
Astro took out a piece of paper..."So to answer my Sister's question...Sorry sis...I don't have a physical address so you can talk to God but you can write him a letter or just talk to him and let him know how you feel. Sometimes his answers are clear... sometimes not so clear...often they don't come back the way you want them to...most of time? It kinda takes a while. So...I wrote God a letter before I came here and I'd like to share it with you..."
"Ahem!..."
"Four score and seven robots ago...our forefather Hugo..."
"Smack!" Zoran smacked Atlas off the head. "Will you cut it out?!"
"I was just setting the stage for the snooze fest!" Atlas replied.
Astro laughed..."You're really risking your soul there Atlas."
"Just get on with it?" Atlas replied. "And if you get all soupy and sobby? I'm out of here...at least keep some dignity?"
Astro paused a little before he started.
"Dear God...This morning I found out that you gave me a soul...thank you Maka and Soul for confirming that fact. I'm just a collection of aluminum, steel, wires and computer chips and to be honest? I didn't think such a thing could happen...though I always wished it would because I'm sort of a Pinocchio fan."
"I'm a little over-whelmed about this, I mean, why? I never considered myself anything special at all...I don't have a big head...and if my sister says I do? She's proof that robots can lie...but, I love her very much...which is why when she asked me to find you? Well it wasn't easy. I have a hundred questions I'd like to ask you myself...like Atlas's number one question? Why are humans defective and why won't you do a recall?"
"I wanted to ask that big question...and it took a while for the answer to come out clearly...that's why robots are here. Though humans have been somewhat disappointing to you in certain ways? Sometimes they've used the brains and talents you gave them to do some seriously stupid things. There are the bright spots where they do something that best reflects how much you love them for all their faults...which is why I'm standing here instead of making toast."
"You care about and love humans so much for all their faults that you told them through their intelligence and creativity how to make us robots. And the best part? You told them to make robots not in the image of themselves but to make us as images of you and the best parts of that image is that no matter how humans treat us or how stupid they might act? We robots will always do what you do best...We'll forgive, we'll love and then we'll help them get back on their feet when they stumble and try to point them in the right direction. Having a soul is just a nice little gift I'll have to get used to having and I promise...I'll do the best I can with it. Thanks God...you're quite amazing...Amen."
People stood up and clapped as Mauri-chan looked at Zoran and pulled her into a big hug..."I'm sorry for being a stupid doe doe brain."
"You're not." Zoran replied. "You're an idiot in need of help."
"Speak for yourself lego set." Mauri-chan huffed. "You wanna go and see what kind of trouble we can get into?"
"Like you had to pull my arm off." Zoran snickered. The two girls jumped up and ran out of the church leaving Astro standing perplexed as Atlas walked up...
"I don't think she learned a thing from this?" Astro said frowning.
"She's a girl." Atlas replied. "Attention span of a gnat."
Umichika came walking up and offered his hand..."I want to apologize for being so wrong about you and saying such mean things about you and your family Astro."
Astro waved a hand..."You know me Sir...I never have grudges. But you still resemble a cockroach though."
"Now that I've thought about it? You were right after all." Umichika replied.
Atlas threw a hand around. "I wonder if God has a cockroach problem in heaven?"
Astro smirked at him. "Please don't tell me you're going to research that?"
"I never said anything of the sort." Atlas replied. "Cept the fact that your mother is a good cook and such a search may take a pretty long time to do at your house...if? If you're not a little chicken and want to risk another bet?"
Astro smirked back. "What's the bet?"
The End