"Mew-Mew Time"

Darcy wished she'd never started working out. It seemed like a good idea at the time – and she'd had to go kind of easy with the girls on her chest – but who knew it would lead to so much trouble? It started out as weights and an exercise bike. Then it became a rowing machine, a treadmill, sparring with spies, and next thing she knew she was herding civilians during times of terror. Why couldn't she be one of the people hiding indoors? Why did she have to become Jane Foster's intern, leading to all the crazy she had to deal with on a regular basis?

She made poor life choices, that's for sure.

Still. Couldn't criticise the view. When it meant days of staring at Bruce Banner's ass while he was bent over a table and working, watching Clint Barton loosing arrow after arrow with those biceps flexing, ogling Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanov as they sparred in the ring… she could totally get used to all that. It was just the days when everything went to hell in a hand-basket that she wanted to commit herself.

"Please, just stay behind the overturned tables," she told some dude who kept wanting to prove he was a man in front of his new girlfriend. Said girlfriend was telling him he was being an idiot, and Darcy privately agreed. "Don't make me disable you."

He snorted, and looked her up and down. "You?"

Her eyes narrowed. Three seconds later he was crawling to his girlfriend, whimpering about broken bones, and Darcy was scowling at everyone else she'd shepherded into the restaurant. They all stayed put.

"Okay," she said. "Don't make me come back in here. Check Twitter for updates."

She gave them her Twitter handle and went back outside, putting her earpiece back in and asking for instructions as she continued west.

"Darcy." It was Natasha. "We've just found out who the bad guys are behind the attack. They're loosely affiliated with HYDRA and AIM, and one of them is a former SHIELD agent. We don't know where he is—"

"Actually," she said softly, "I think he might be the guy pointing a gun at my head."

The Black Widow said something particularly nasty in Russian. If they were instructions, Darcy was in no position to do anything about them.

"Keep walking," the man said, pressing the gun at the top of her neck. "When I tell you to stop, you stop. Got it?"

"You're not gonna give me even one chance to run?"

"Honey, at this distance I'm not gonna miss your head if you make one move I don't like."

"So…" She glanced at him in the reflection of a shop window as they kept moving forward. "Do I get a name?"

"I'd like to get your name."

She nearly stumbled. "Wait. You don't know who I am? This is completely random?"

"I've seen you with the Avengers, but we've never been introduced, strangely enough."

"Ha. Yeah. I can see why."

"Keep moving!"

Darcy frowned. "Don't I even get to know where you're taking me?"

"Shut up."

She rolled her eyes, humming 'U Can't Touch This' to keep her spirits up. This was slightly worse than a typical day with the Avengers, she had to admit. At least the tracking chip in her right shoe would let JARVIS keep track of her, so yay.

"Stop, mew-mew time!" she sang softly. The guy behind her growled. She could still hear the Avengers in her ear, bitching to each other about Darcy being unprotected. Hello, she could still hear them declaiming her as useless! Okay, not exactly their words, but she was vulnerable at the moment. She could be pissed off at them if she wanted to, with their stupid hotness, and their stupid penchant for getting into trouble and dragging her into it.

Really, did these people have no concept of mirrors? She could see exactly where this was going when she checked out the shop windows opposite an alleyway – thank you, Tony, for funding her strongest prescriptions yet – and noticed at least half a dozen people there. If she was lucky, they just wanted to beat her up. Considering that even at that distance, their arms rivalled Thor's for size, she was starting to freak out at any potential fate. Seriously, the guy behind her looked the least threatening, and he was wielding a gun.

"It's here, isn't it?" she said, stopping abruptly about three yards from the alley. The ex-agent behind her wasn't expecting that. She was rewarded with a momentary look of surprise before she roundhouse kicked him, knocked the gun from his hand, employed one hell of an uppercut, and began to run like crazy back the way they'd come. When she first realised how dangerous it was to work with the Avengers, she invested in top-of-the-range running shoes, and they came in handy now. Or footy, as the case may be.

It wasn't long before she heard her wannabe assailants running after her. No way was she looking back. She shouted into her comm. for the others to send someone, anyone to help her, for directions to the nearest safe place. Problem was, they were needed elsewhere. The needs of the many outweighing the needs of the few.

Didn't mean she wasn't feeling selfish. She was possibly about to die – or worse – so she was allowed to feel sorry for herself.

"Stay out of the way!"

Darcy's head jerked around. She got barely any warning before someone grabbed her around the waist and threw her to the other side of a dumpster. At least Natasha's training came in handy, because she braced herself against the brick wall before she could graze herself or dislocate something. Confused, she looked back, and saw a guy with longish dark hair, dressed in leather – be still her racing heart – fighting off eight huge guys. She felt about for her taser, pulled it out, and readied herself to jump in and help him. Damned if she was gonna leave her rescuer to the wolves.

"I'm okay for the moment," she panted into the comm. unit. "But I think we're gonna need backup."

"I am on my way!" Thor declared. "The enemy appears to be joining you."

"The enemy's already here, but… oh." She blinked as one of the flying machines came around the end of the road, carrying more people. Her hero didn't look back; he just kept punching out the men who'd been after Darcy.

"Thor, get over here now!" she growled. Fortunately, he rounded the corner then, calling up lightning to strike down the metal doodad. He threw Mew-Mew around, and it bounced her way as he began to strike with fists.

Determined not to be left out now that she had two competent men near her, Darcy strode out. There were still three bad guys standing, which was unacceptable, even though the stranger stayed strong. He seriously wasn't tiring. If only all guys had that kind of stamina. Wouldn't it be mind-blowing to have a guy like that as her soulmate?

…Wait.

She held out the taser and struck down the nearest thug. He twitched and fell, and Darcy began to search for a recharge.

Her eyes widened when she saw some of the downed men starting to get up. With twitches and jerky movements.

"Robots," she whispered. Her guy in leather – her soulmate? – seemed to recognise that, because she saw his frown. He looked over at her, and noticed Mew-Mew. He ran over, heaved it up, and then went after the pseudo-robots. Whatever they were.

Wow. She really hoped that Thor didn't call for Mew-Mew, because it was kind of occupied.

Just in case, she had a look, and saw that Thor was knocking out the last thingummy. He looked over, and she pointed to her mystery guy. A few whacks later, and all of them were down. He dropped the hammer beside his feet. Thor called for it, and the guy swung around, watching it fly back to its master. Darcy ran to his side, trying to think of something distinctive to say to him, so he'd know it was her.

"I'm thinking I should kiss you for saving my life," she blurted out. He stared at her, and she nearly swooned. He was really good-looking. Those eyes left her feeling naked in the best way, and his heaving chest really emphasised the muscles she could see beneath the leather. His lips were pink and slightly parted. She really, really wanted to taste them.

"You," he said. "You are my…"

"Seems so, yeah. Always thought my soulmate would be a jerk, considering my mark says 'Stay out of the way'. Didn't know you'd be doing it to save my life, so kudos to you. I got lucky with my soulmate." She took off her jacket and showed off the words running down her left arm, where most people had their mark. He traced them with a small smile. "Wanna show me yours?"

She reached out for his left arm, and was surprised when he moved it back.

"Not there," he said. He rolled up his right sleeve. "It appeared here."

Sure enough, her flirtatious remark in her handwriting. Overwhelmed with relief, she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. His arms came around her waist and he pulled her close, tilting his head and deepening the kiss with obvious skill. Darcy melted, tangling her fingers in his hair, and tugging when she needed to emerge for breath. He pressed his lips against her forehead, and she laughed breathily.

"I could seriously get used to that," she said.

"I'm not a good man," he said softly. She met his eyes, frowning.

"Dude, you hauled around Mew-Mew."

"I… what?"

"Mew-Mew! Thor's hammer! That thing you used to bring down the bad guys at the end there? Only someone who's worthy can swing it. Even Steve Rogers only got it to move a little, and he's as strong as an ox. Mind you." She squeezed his biceps. "You've got some great guns on you… too…" Curious, she looked closer at his left arm. "What's…" He moved her hand away from it. "Uh, my name's Darcy. I think I should probably tell you that. What's your name?"

He exhaled slowly. "James Buchanan Barnes. Friends call me Bucky."

Darcy was still gaping at him as the others ran up, Steve in the lead. He came to a stop beside them.

"Bucky?" he said.

"Yeah?" Bucky said, not looking away from her. "What is it, punk?"

Steve laughed, and clapped him on the shoulder. "Good to have you back and kissing unsuspecting girls."

"Unsuspecting?" Darcy said, affronted. "I'll have you know I asked for it. It's even written on his arm."

Steve glanced at the left arm, and she realised why Bucky didn't want her to touch it. It was his prosthetic, the one given to him by HYDRA. She pressed into his side, leaving his front clear, and pulled his metal arm around her waist.

"Other arm," Bucky said. "Words didn't appear until after I'd lost this one."

"A long time after," Darcy added. "Many, many years."

"You're a lucky guy," Steve said. "We all think Darcy's the best. And you're lucky, too, Darcy."

"He came to my rescue," she said. "Of course I know I'm lucky. And did you see him using Mew-Mew? It was awesome."

"You used Mjolnir?"

"Aye, he did indeed," Thor said. "I had thought it impossible, even for you."

"Just wanted to protect her," Bucky said, ducking his head. Darcy stroked his hair back so she could see his face better.

"Aren't you the best?" she said. "My parents are gonna love you."

He looked unnerved at that.

Darcy keeps getting awful soulmarks which mean completely different things to what she thought they would mean. Admittedly, in 'No Pussy Jokes' her mark was slightly worse than this one.

Okay, so I've been wanting to read – or write – something where Bucky is able to pick up and use Mjolnir. It probably helped that he had no idea what he was using in this story; just saw it as another weapon to protect Darcy. Daw! Heroic!Bucky is heroic.

Please review!