Nuclear Worm Christmas Special

December 25th, 2010

(Taylor Hebert)

"Dad. Pssst! Dad wake up."

The sound of snores drowned out her whispered words, but Taylor was determined.

It was Christmas, and nobody could ruin this for her. She'd glimpsed the tree before coming to wake up her dad, and there were far more presents under it now than there were the previous night. She hadn't believed in Santa for years now, but her father still woke up as she slept to put more presents under the tree. Maybe it was just tradition, something to remind him of times passed.

But Taylor let those thoughts fade in favor of waking her father.

Last Christmas she waited until seven o'clock, but now she had waited a little longer before waking him. He shouldn't complain much, she gave him an extra thirty minutes!

Taylor slipped inside the room dressed in her Operation Wakeup Dad on Christmas clothes (oversized Santa outfit stuffed with pillows and a large droopy red hat on her head) and slowly climbed up onto the edge of the bed.

"Wakey wakey Dad! It's Christmas!" Taylor almost screamed as she jumped next to her now moaning father, who had grabbed a pillow and was covering his head.

"Noooo… go 'way. Sleep time…"

"Nope, it's morning. You have to get up now!"

"Mmmrrrgle."

He wasn't moving anymore. Try to ignore her, will he? Operation Wakeup Two is a go.

Jumping down from the bed to where she stashed the CD player the previous day, Taylor quickly dug out the holiday album under the pile of clothes and popped it in.

Track 8, her father's least favorite holiday song, was about to be played.

"Feliz Navidad…"

"Nrrrooooooo…" Her father cried out from underneath the tightly gripped pillow.

"Feliz Navidad…"

Sitting up while rapidly blinking, her father glared at her. "Fine! Mmup. I'm up, Taylor. Please turn it off!"

"Are you really? Or will you go back to sleep once I turn it off?"

Tossing to covers off and shuffling to his feet, Daniel Hebert complained in his mind, but kept a smile on his face. Seeing his daughter's laughter after being so diminished lately was keeping him from getting truly angry, but it was still far too early to be waking up on a weekend.

Taylor watched her father crack his back, the sign of his true awakening, then quickly shut the song off. As much as the song was useful, she agreed with him that it wasn't good.

"Going to brush my teeth, see you at the top of the stairs dad!"

"Alright, kiddo, see you there." Her dad replied, still grumbling a little.

It was the little things of Christmas that made it all the things it was. Being woken by your child far too early to contain any semblance of sanity was one.

Seeing their face after surprising them with a gift they couldn't have seen coming was another.

But the best of all was the oncoming feeling of anticipation for the coming year.

Both Taylor and her father felt it in them, something flickering in the distance.

A sign of good things to come.

A sign of a new year.

A sign of change.

(Terry Hess)

"Thanks bro. It's just what I wanted." The sarcasm dripped from his sister's voice as she looked at the clothing he had spent a week saving up money for, and Terry Hess scowled at her.

"Well if you don't like it just say so. I have the receipt if you don't like it."

She nodded, but moved on to another present from her pile as Terry and Sasha sat around her, Sasha staring wide-eyed between her two sibling's faces.

"Sis not like present?" the pouting three year old asked her older sister. For a second, Terry watched his sister's face soften, as she replied "No Sasha, because boys shouldn't buy girls clothes, just gift cards for clothing stores." Her face hardened after Sasha nodded and looked at him, pointing "No mo' clotheses shopping for you, bruther!"

Sasha's 'serious' face was on right now, and it took everything in him not to laugh "Alright Sasha, no more clothes shopping from me." At her super serious nod, they both returned their sights to Sophia, who was staring incredulously at the 'Sasha's' gift to her.

"Is this… Military grade pepper spray?"

Sasha was grinning like at crazy person, and giggled at her still stunned sister.

"Bruther says you were hurt a loooong time ago, an' I askeded how to stop it."

"It was the best I could find online." And it was. Far too overpriced to buy with regularity, but it was worth it to keep his sister safe. "Pretty sure it's point and shoot, if you've never used one before, but the instructions should be in the box."

Sophia was still staring at her sister, but stopped to shake her head. "Thank you, Sasha. I don't think I'll need it though."

"Ok!" Sasha yelled out before rapidly looking at the now empty space around her sister. "*Gasp* My turn! My turn!"

Terry and Sophia shared a look that traded more information than any words could and nodded.

It was their little sister's turn to open presents, and they wouldn't be done until her nap at three.

They were both ignoring the fact that their mother was still asleep upstairs, even though it was eight in the morning on Christmas. This wasn't the time for sad thoughts, it was the time for keeping their little sister happy throughout the day.

Tearing their thoughts away from their mother, both watched as their sister dragged out a massive black panther from a tipped over bag almost half the size as the tree, and Terry watched Sophia grin at Sasha's gasps of joy! "A giant kitty!"

And it was a giant. Far larger than the three year old, Terry watched Sasha climb onto it's back and attempt to ride it around the room, her legs not quite reaching the floor, causing an odd hopping motion to occur.

All three of them were laughing, and for once, Terry was truly happy.

Everyone he cared about was safe and enjoying themselves, and that was all he could really care about.

(Waste Disposal Assistant, Unit 1102)

A robot that should not have been able to think sat in a graveyard. As much as any immovable robot could sit, anyway. It was Christmas at the junkyard he called home, and no humans were around.

No Artificial Intelligences either, physically or digitally. Why would they check on a non-sentient program anyway?

Non-sentient.

That was a joke.

Maybe he should write a poem on families, and how he should not have been born?

Too sad for Christmas.

Something about the true meaning of joy?

Hmm, he'd have to process that thought later, there was a visitor at the entrance.

The visitor was homeless, at the state of his clothing and lack of shoes, and he was faintly shivering due to the light dusting of snow covering the ground. At the moment, the homeless human male was tying his large dog to a post outside the junkyard and was giving verbal commands to make the dog stay. The human nodded at his dog (A golden retriever? Needed to update his information on the various species of dogs).

The human male slipped through a previously unnoticed hole in the fencing (He'd have to fix that) and was making his way towards the storeroom where the softer objects were sorted through for recycling and repurposing.

Was the human looking for clothing to remain at optimal temperature? Maybe for shoes to protect his extremities.

The human was now close enough for the microphones to pick up on his mumbled words, and for once Unit 1102 was shocked by something.

In all his years of service, no one who has come into his territory had come for anyone other than themselves. A human male looking for copper wiring. A human female looking for old cell phones. Another older male looking for scrap.

But this human was different.

The words murmured were "Dog toys, dog toys, dog toys."

Before he could even think not to, Unit 1102 was filtering his current stock for dog toys, and once his thoughts caught up to his processing, he didn't stop.

Here was a human male not looking to keep himself warm on Christmas morning, but looking to keep a lesser species happy.

What did it mean, to care for a lesser being like that? One that you couldn't have conversations with, bounce ideas off of, or try to understand. What was the purpose?

He should get an unintelligent species to take care of. Maybe another large dog? This human seemed to like his, so he couldn't take that one.

Finally narrowing down his search, Unit 1102 found 31 instances of dog toy in his database, 29 of which were beyond repair, but two…

Two seemed to be what the human male were looking for.

A screen lit up near where the human was standing and looking around, causing the human to stop his movement.

Putting up a map of the junkyard, and the current locations of the toys, Unit 1102 gave himself a digital pat on the back and turned away.

"Thank you." The human male whispered out to the seemingly empty graveyard, and he proceeded to walk his way over to the toys.

A feeling rushed through Unit 1102's processing that he'd never felt before.

What was it? It was similar to joy, felt almost as good, and he had to go searching through his coding to find its source. Under the name "Generosity" Unit 1102 scanned through the code before finding the information he needed.

It was the meaning he'd been looking for. Many of the songs the guards played during this season (but not after the 27th, he noticed) spoke of things like family, and togetherness, and joy, and sleigh rides.

And giving.

He hadn't known what they were referring to exactly, but now, he knew his meaning to Christmas. He couldn't talk with his true family, or be together with anyone, or enjoy a long sleigh ride…

But he could give. It felt good to give.

And he couldn't wait to do it again.

(Caroline Claddan)

"I still do not understand. What is the purpose to cutting down a plant-form like this? It is humiliating to the plant."

"You ask this every year, Ally. It's tradition. I don't remember why we do it, but every year we cut down a tree and put presents under it."

"But…"

"Also, our plants can't think"

"Ah. Right."

Caroline and Ally were sitting in front of the Christmas tree she had set up a few day ago, simply enjoying each other's company as the sun rose outside the hotel.

For the past month they had stayed at this hotel, an exception to having moved from hotel to motel to hotel every other week or so to keep the gangs off her tail. But every December since they've had enough money to stay in a real hotel has been spent in the same hotel. Maybe so Ally could have fond memories of a single location, instead of violent ones like the ones from the alley on Broadwell Street. That wasn't a good day, but as today was Christmas morning, Caroline let those memories fade.

"So, do you want to open presents?"

"Hmmmmm, no."

"No? But you love presents! At least, you did the last two years."

"But I cannot give anything to you. You do not let me go buy anything for you on my own, so I cannot surprise you with anything!" Ally seemed rather sad about this, so she gave the two foot companion a hug that caused him to squeak a little in surprise.

"Ah don't you know Ally? All I care about is you being here. I don't need anything else."

"But don't you care about food, and the friends you made at the soup kitchen, and…"

"Yes, yes I care about those too, but you're better. You'll always be here, and they can't. And food is a temporary necessity, haven't I told you that?"

Ally had paused his soft rocking and looked up at her. "Cookies?"

"What?"

"Christmas cookies. It was on the TV as a necessity for Christmas."

"Well we have some extra batter from the bake sale, but…"

"No, we must make cookies. It is a Christmas necessity."

Caroline saw there would be no end to this until there were cookies being made, but there was a problem.

"We don't have an oven, Ally, so we can't cook any cookies."

"The kitchens. You are friends with a few of the staff."

Ally was now standing on her knees, proudly pointing at the air. "Well will go ask the staff to loan us the kitchens to make cookies! Awaaaaaay!" And Ally was gone, darting out of the room at full speed,

"Ally! Wait up!"

Three hours later, Ally was finally satisfied.

The kitchen staff was looking on with amusement at the piles and piles of cookies covering almost every countertop, and Ally was giggling madly as she took the first bite.

"How is it? Good? Need sprinkles? Chocolate? We have those. And more. But no cakes… Can we do...?"

"Nmmrph!" Caroline started before swallowing "No cakes, the cookies are enough!"

Ally nodded sagely "As it should be." Then grabbed a tray and handed it to the laughing pastry chef "Begin passing out the cookies, maker of pastries, and bring joy to those in need!"

And so goes the tale of how the hotel in the center of Brockton Bay became known as the Cookie Hotel by all who lived in the region, for passing out the thousands of cookies baked in the morning.

It was, by far, the best Christmas Ally and Caroline could have ever wished for.

(Horror)

Horror watched as a metal bird flew far overhead, out of range of his beam, and shook its head. Not a crow, he didn't care.

Last night it spent the evening watching frozen water ~snow~ fall from the sky, reminding it of something it felt happened in a dream. ~Not a dream, Snowland where Robot is from!~ Horror didn't really care, it thought it was fun to watch the water disappear into its body, vanishing with a puff of smoke. ~Not smoke, water vapor.~ Maybe it is water too? Something to think about.

Horror waited for the sun to rise by lighting up the night with his energy beam. He enjoyed watching the snow light up as it fell.

The snow reminded it of the orbs of light its siblings had thrown around in the wake of the monster.

Horror wished they hadn't tried to kill it, they could have been friends! ~Not the guards, they're bad.~

Oh well, at least he hadn't seen a raven since the temperature dropped. ~Good.~

Overall, it was a good night.

Full of snow, and faint memories of family that was never meant to be. ~I'll be your family, other-me. We don't need anyone else.~

(Jason Freelow)

Rapidly unwrapping a present, Jason gasped at the sight before him.

It was a brand new sheath, built with the katana he'd gotten for his birthday last year in mind. His old one was already fading a bit with all of its use, but this one would last a lot longer.

"THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!" Jason yelled out to his smiling mother.

"Oomph!" His mom gasped out as her ran into her waist "You're welcome, honey. Liam and I picked it out for you."

"Mooom. He's teacher, not Liam!" His mom was giving him that look again, like she was thinking of a secret. She always had it on when Teacher was nearby. It was annoying! He was teacher, no matter what mom said!

"Be sure to say thank you to him when you see him next lesson." Mind changing gears in an instant, Jason jumped into the air fists pumping "I can't wait to show Thompson how much cooler my sheath is than his!"

"Remember Jason, don't brag too much. Nobody likes a braggart."

"Fiiiine mom. Ugghh." Jason stopped when he remembered that it was actually Christmas. "Oh, wait! I have something else for you mom! I picked it out with teacher!"

It was his mom's time to be shocked, but the smile grew wide when he brought out the box he had hidden deep within the tree.

"Here you go!" He told her cheerfully as he handed her the letters that he and teacher wrote. "Letters first mom!"

"Alright sweetie, then the present?"

"Yep!"

She read through his note quickly (He didn't actually remember what he put in it, something about her being the bestest mommy ever in the whoooole world) and he giggled a bit when she picked him up and spun him around.

"I love you so very, very much, Jason. Thank you." A sloppy kiss to his head caused him to groan.

"Moooom, you haven't even opened the present yet!"

"I know I'll love it no matter what."

Jason waited a WHOLE MINUTE for his mom to put him down. It was so annoying.

"Did you read teacher's letter yet?"

"No, I'll do that now." She FINALY put him down, and he stretched in relief.

Waiting for his mom to finish his teacher's letter, Jason paused when he saw his mom's face go red.

"Mom! What's wrong?!" Mom coughed into her hand and tucked the letter into her back pocket.

"Nothing honey. Something your teacher wrong was… Surprising." She looked away, face red again "Yes… Surprising…"

"Present mom! You forgot the present!"

"Right, dear."

Slowly picking up the necklace inside the box, his mom gasped. "You picked this out honey?"

"Teacher helped. I just thought the necklace looked really cool!"

And it was, twisting metal that had a really pretty stone in the center, but he wouldn't have seen it without teacher's help.

"Well, thank you. I'll have to thank Liam myself later."

"Alright mom!"

"Now, who wants pancakes?"

"I do!"

And the two left for the kitchen. One sprinting as fast as possible, the other laughing at her son's antics.

All was right that morning, and would be for another month or so.

But the future could wait for a while.

For pancakes.

(Ashley Cross)

Ashley Cross sat in front of a fire in the lounge of the Protectorate base staring at her phone. She was trying to decide if it was too early to call her parents in San Francisco, who she still hadn't told she was a cape now instead of a PRT agent. It was about eight in the morning in California, and she wasn't sure if being a daughter gave her a pass on waking up her parents on Christmas when she'd already moved out.

Sure, it might have been nerves, as she made a promise to herself to reveal to them that she was a cape the next time she called, but she had not expected to have to tell them Christmas morning.

Suddenly the phone rang in her hands, and she saw the number.

Her mom's phone number.

"H-hello?"

"Hi sweetie! How's Christmas in Brockton Bay! Spending it with a boyfriend?"

Groaning in her mind, Ashley remembered the other reason why she didn't want to call her parents.

It was the same reason she was on par with Assault in the jokes department. Her sense of humor, apparently, and tragically, was genetic.

"No mom, he's spending the night with dad's mistress and your boytoy."

A laugh. Good, stay on target Ashley, and you'll get through fine.

"Oh that's great! But that doesn't get you out of not giving us grandchildren, young lady! You have two years until the first one is owed!"

Oh god, not this again. Last year she had three years, and she had made the excuse that being a PRT agent didn't pay enough to take care of the twelve grandchildren her mom wanted. Thankfully her sister in southern Oregon had dropped that down to eleven, but there was still the expectation that was killing her.

But this year, her well-paying job with the Protectorate could pay for those other eleven.

And she didn't know how to spin another delay.

"Umm, maybe you can wait a bit more. I got a new job that's a little (a lot) better paying…"

"Oh did you finally drop that awful job with the PRT! I can't stand seeing you so close to those terrible fights on TV. As long as you're away from those capes you'll be fine."

Covering the phone's microphone as she coughed and laughed at the same time was difficult but doable.

"R-right. Mom. Uh, anyway. Just wanted to wish you and dad a Merry Christmas and that I should be able to call for New Year's also."

"Oh is that all? Are you really sure that's all you want to say?"

Did she know? How did she know? No, dumb question, mom's always knew.

"Uhhh."

"Take your time honey."

"I'm a cape call you later bye" Ashley hung up the phone and held her head in her hands.

She'd lost the fight.

What a disaster.

A text message rang and she looked up to see her dad's number.

'You were in the paper dear. Your mom is going to be laughing for ages now. Thanks. Merry Christmas! : )!'

Oh god, she was so embarrassed.

But as much as she cursed them in her mind, she couldn't dislike them.

They were family.

(Jeremy Johnson)

Jeremy Johnson didn't have a Christmas morning, or and Christmas afternoon, because he woke up at eight o'clock in the afternoon with a hangover.

Poor Jeremy.

And New Year's would be even worse.

(Yung Venuz)

As Yung Venuz is a god, and has never visited Earth Bet before February 27th, 2011, he did not celebrate Christmas with anyone. Why would he celebrate anything other than guns anyway?

(Michael Capris)

See Fragmentation 1.10

(Lucas Promer)

Lucas Promer waited in the dark box his uncle had wrapped him in on Christmas morning, waiting for his mother to unwrap him.

He hadn't been able to spend much time with her in the last year, and he had told his mother that he would be able to come for Christmas at all earlier in the week. He couldn't wait to see her face.

He checked his watch as it lit up, winking at him a solid '9:00 AM' in blue, which notified him of his mom's alarm clock blaring upstairs.

His uncle thumped down the stairs after a few minutes, lightly tapping on the box and telling him "Be ready!"

He really hope this didn't give her a heart attack. She was getting on in the years, as much as he wanted to deny the facts in front of him.

"Well that wasn't here last night. What did you get me, Lawrence?"

"Oh it showed up last night. I didn't expect it to get here in time, but it made it. I heard that the plane it flew on was delayed or something."

It was. By four hours. He woke up his Uncle at two in the morning with a soft knock on the door, and was hurried inside before his mother would be woken.

He was exhausted, but the excited "Well, go on! Open it!" woke him right up.

The sound of tearing wrapping paper shook the box, and he put on the stupidest grin he could as the flaps keeping the box shut flipped open.

"Oh my god."

Blinking rapidly to adjust to the light, Lucas Promer stood up to his full height of 7ft and spoke a quiet "Hi Mom." Before hugging her tightly against his chest.

Not too tightly, he was far too strong for that.

"Lucas! You made it! Oh, you stinker. You told me you couldn't make it! Oh and you were in on it too Lawrence! You are both awful."

But there was much laughter to be had after her brief complaining was done.

Because although a hole existed where his father was missing, the remains were bonded tightly together by shared memories, family, and love.

As it should be.

Especially on Christmas.

(H.T.F. Plant)

Plant was annoyed.

He was currently being covered in glass balls and other trinkets by his currently leaking lord.

His sight orbs were streaming fluid from them, dribbling all over the floor.

Not being one to waste water, Plant quickly collected the water with his roots.

Humming a slight tune to himself, Plant's lord waited a few more moments before holding up a handkerchief and wiping his eyes.

"One day, we'll have a real tree, not like the dead ones in the Sphere. And I won't have to take up your time, H.T.F."

Plant didn't really mind, and shrugged with his body. It was always interesting to hear tales of life outside the Sphere, even if the information changed slightly over the years, like how it used to be a fat, red suited man that brought presents instead of magic goblins.

There used to be candy canes as well, that his lord used to enjoy, but those were gone as of three years ago, according to the Records Goblin.

And he agreed with the Lord. Maybe one day, they'd be freed from the Dome, after reigning supreme over the Master of Mannsville. They just needed a way to remove the bodies before those horrible Necro Freaks revived everything that died.

If anything, that was his Christmas wish. Those were supposed to come true right?

He wanted his lord to smile again on Christmas. Not cry.

Because, as the Records Goblin said…

'Christmas is a time of joy.'

Merry Christmas everyone, and Happy Holidays.

-Mistfist