Tatsuta was standing in the naval base's kitchen while in the presence of the food supply ship Mamiya as she thought about her various teammates.
Hiei was training with the major battleships on the 10th of April after coming out of the docks, by which time she would have recovered from whatever injuries she may have unknowingly sustained during the sortie.
The Nagato, Kongou, Yamato, Ise-Class battleships and even Bismarck, the German transfer that was brought in from abroad to improve the base's firepower, were going out on the training grounds on that day to keep their skills sharp.
This was going to be a major step forward for Hiei, who was naturally nervous about being in the big leagues and was going to be learning alongside two of the most heralded battleships of their time.
She had to be comforted as the 1st Fleet reminded her that not only was she going to be representing the Kongou Sisters, but she was also going to represent the 1st Fleet itself and had to keep her cool.
She had to calm herself down in order to learn from the more experienced battleships that were Nagato, Ise and Hyuga, all of them the pillars of strength that she, Yamato, and Musashi were going to have to strive towards.
Ayanami was being coached by Tone, the heavy cruiser possessing a lot of experience from her previous base where she had been on countless sorties, and was more than willing to help the Ayanami-Class destroyer out in improving herself.
Tenryuu and Shigure were off doing their own thing as the Shiratsuyu-Class destroyer tried to know other ship girls better and learn more about this world, doing her best to improve herself in her own way by learning from the experiences of the older ship girls to avoid making the same mistakes.
As for Tenryuu, Tatsuta knew that her sister ship would be trying her best to learn from the strong and respectable ship girls of this base, understanding her sister well enough to know that she was entirely capable of swallowing her pride to ask them for advice or mentor-ship should she see a desired trait or skill in a senior ship girl.
But back to the present.
Mamiya was busy fixing lunch for the entire ship girl population of Yokosuka as she skilfully slid the sharp edge of the kitchen knife beneath the skin of the salmon meat that was mounted on a milky-white cutting board before her that had been scarred with diagonal knife marks and was slightly discolored due to constant use over the years.
Besides Mamiya, Tatsuta could see several sailors and ship girls at the end of the kitchen who were also preparing the afternoon meals, using anything from a wok over a mild fire to using chopsticks to beat eggs that were cracked and poured into a bowl.
The kitchen was a place of bustling activity because unlike the Shinsengumi, Houshou's quiet establishment which was run almost entirely by herself, the kitchen was a place where they had to try and feed more than eighty ship girls, a good number of them being carriers and battleships who required tonnes of food and resources in order to fuel their superhuman bodies.
This meant that the cooks in the kitchen had to prepare for the next meal almost immediately after the previous one was served, the kitchen also possessing dozens of electronic food warmers to make sure that the food didn't become cold before the stipulated serving time.
And considering the fact that there were several dozen ship girls and hundreds of sailors in the base, it wouldn't be surprising that Mamiya would have several ship girls and human sailors to help her out in the task of trying to feed everyone on time, Tatsuta now stepping into the kitchen in order to offer her services and to seek the food supply ship's mentor-ship.
"You want to help me out in the kitchen?"
Mamiya's surprised voice was soft as Tatsuta stood before her with the proposition of lightening her workload by offering a hand.
"Yes."
Tatsuta confirmed.
She wanted to make herself useful, and Akashi recommended her to try and learn how to wield knives from the elder food supply ship, as dissecting and cutting up slabs of meat might help as a form of catharsis.
She also explained that kitchen was a place of activity, something which could help take her mind off of things by focusing on preparing meals for the ship girls of the base, thereby keeping herself busy instead of sitting around idly and brooding over dark topics.
Besides, Anti-Abyssal knives were available as weapons of self-defense to be used out on the ocean, and Akashi had revealed a few interesting things about the hospitable food supply ship...
She repeated the notion of wanting to help the supply ship before her, making sure that she understood the underlying reason why she wanted to learn from her.
"I've developed an interest in knives, but I want to learn from someone who can teach me to use them to their fullest potential in and outside of combat."
Mamiya tilted her head, and reminded her with the gentle tone of a senior ship girl.
"But I'm not a combat ship, and I wouldn't be able to teach you any combat uses."
Tatsuta shook her head in response as she tried to clarify her intentions while dropping the name of the ship girl who sent her, slightly regretting having to play the next card.
"Not according to Akashi."
As expected, Mamiya's knife halted in its movements and hovered over what remained of the piece of salmon, Tatsuta unable to discern the food supply ship's current state due to her hair covering her eyes, continuing on as she observed the senior ship girl.
"Akashi-san recommended that I help you out, because not only are you arguably the best wielder of Anti-Abyssal knives in this naval base, you're also the backup surgeon in this base, Akashi-san being the chief surgeon.
I understand that you know how to wield knives to create meals, heal wounded ship girls and kill Abyssals.
And I wish to learn those skills to not only help you out by fixing meals for the ship girls of this base and also utilize them in combat against the Abyssals, but I'm also taking lessons from Akashi-san to be a surgeon-in-training."
Mamiya nodded at that, silently accepting Tatsuta's words as the food supply ship turned to look at the Tenryuu-Class light cruiser.
Tatsuta was somewhat taken aback by what she saw next, Mamiya now allowing her killing intent to seep into her mild demeanor as she still held the kitchen knife.
Her eyes narrowed and her smile was tight as she exuded a bit of killing aura that only Tatsuta could detect, suppressing it with an admirable amount of control so as not to unnerve the other occupants in the kitchen who were too occupied with their cooking to notice.
She simply commented,
"So...
Was that all Akashi-san had to say about me?"
Tatsuta nodded with a slightly uncomfortable smile, herself being no stranger to ship girls who possessed intense killing intent, yet feeling understandably wary in their presence when they focused that intent into a suffocating aura that was exuded from their very being.
What made it even worse was the ship girls who lived long enough to hone their skills and attacks to take down Abyssals in the most efficient manner possible, this being heavily reflected in the way they carried themselves on and off the battlefield.
She knew that the food supply ship had sortied many times over the course of her life, having been created and stationed at Yokosuka ever since it was renovated to be a base for ship girls ten years ago.
She had an entire decade to learn to protect herself and train herself up in other ways since her stats were considered pathetic, even when compared to some of the higher-tier destroyers.
For auxiliary ships, fighting conventionally was out of the question since that meant that they'd be sunk almost instantly due to the disparity in stats, often resorting to Anti-Abyssal weapons and fighting using extremely pragmatic and sometimes even underhanded tactics to achieve victory at all costs.
The 8th Fleet of Yokosuka was the epitome of this concept, and Mamiya being a closely affiliated backup member of that fleet was all that needed to be said about her unorthodox combat techniques.
It wasn't exactly accurate to say that Tatsuta was scared of the food supply ship when she dropped her friendly persona to become laser-focused, but the closest term that would most accurately describe her current mood was,
Unnerved.
Mamiya sighed as she finally relaxed and finally saw all that she needed to see in Tatsuta, her aura dissipating as she reverted back to the motherly and affectionate food supply ship that everyone knew, bemoaning the light cruiser's enthusiasm and keen interest about such sharp and dangerous tools.
"You aren't going to give up on this, are you?"
Tatsuta smiled warmly, her her half-lidded eyes regarding the supply ship with immense respect as she rested her palms together on her thighs and bowed towards her, explaining herself.
"I just want to learn from you and help everyone out in my own way."
"I'm not teaching you just to have you hurt another ship girl."
Tatsuta pulled herself back up, shaking her head again as she tried to dispel that notion that she suspected was causing Mamiya to hesitate as the elder ship girl considered taking her in.
"I may be rather bloodthirsty, but that only applies to Abyssals.
I'd never hurt one of my own comrades."
Mamiya shot her a glance, now professionally cutting the salmon meat into thin slices without even looking down at what she was doing, her ship girl functions coming in very handy to ensure that she never hurt herself with the kitchen knife and doing her job as a background activity in her mind.
Tatsuta gave her a look that implied her confidence and self control, Mamiya genuinely curious about her decision to inquire if she could help out with a chore as mundane as cooking, asking curiously.
"It seems rather interesting that a ship girl like you would want to learn how to cook.
Would you mind sharing with me the exact reason why you would want to learn how to cook, Tatsuta-san?"
The Tenryuu-Class light cruiser nodded, not finding much of a reason to keep secrets from the ship girl that was to become her mentor, taking on a slightly wistful look as she explained herself.
"Well, I understand everything has a start and end, and that the food we cook as chefs will ultimately be devoured by our comrades, lest they be left out to be admired and ultimately spoil.
But I think that it's actually something that we have to accept as par for the course, for nothing lasts forever, and food is meant to be fed to our comrades in order to nourish them.
Should the food that I created with my two hands be able to sate the hunger of a starving ship girl, I won't regret having cooked these delicacies for my comrades and having helped them in some way off the battlefield."
Tatsuta smiled, feeling a little more confident about her own newfound resolve and her desire to dissociate herself from the bloodshed that she loved to partake in, giving Mamiya a genuine smile as she admitted.
"And besides, it's not healthy for a ship girl to be without hobbies and spend all her time out on the field mindlessly killing Abyssals, yes?
Strangely enough, I'm a little different from other Tatsutas in that I actually don't want to indulge in my sadistic, bloodthirsty persona all the time, and I'd like to dabble in the crafts to apply myself in ways other than combat.
After all, sauce and flour are easier to clean off your hands than blood."
She stood there for a while as she waited for Mamiya to come to a decision after having dropped that last line as a heavy ending to her request, finally hearing the food supply ship speak up after a while.
"Alright, I'm a big softie at heart, so I suppose I can trust you not to do anything foolish, dear.
Now why don't you come here…"
Nodding beside her as she worked on the next piece of salmon, inviting Tatsuta to stand beside her.
"... where we can get you started on your learning journey and teach you how to correctly and safely wield a knife?"
Tatsuta bowed again, grateful for the supply ship for believing in her as she made her way to stand beside and observe Mamiya while picking up a kitchen knife for the first time, the food supply ship starting her commentary and lesson.
Shigure wasn't sure how to approach the name-ship of the Unryuu-Class carriers.
Amagi, who had introduced herself to her, was unsure of how to approach her sister ship and finally decided to ask Shigure for help, seeing that she knew Unryuu from the time in the war where she was an escort ship for Unryuu's first and last mission.
And when Amagi described her situation, she was honestly dumbfounded at the situation, and was actually rather interested in the mysterious carrier's thought patterns.
Amagi described that Unryuu had been in the Yokosuka Naval Base for far longer than she did, and unlike the lovable air-headed sister she was expecting, Unryuu was silent, contemplative and brooding, although not to the point of cutting all ties with her.
She often watched the clouds and the birds flying in the sky during her free time, but when Amagi questioned her about what she was thinking, no matter how often she tried, Unryuu would just brush her off, saying that she'd never understand whatever it was that she thought about.
And that was before Amagi discovered the internet, and the thesis paper that her sister shockingly wrote.
Unryuu had matured quickly, and had developed a theory of the true nature of the ship girl that evolved into a doctrine for ship girls of various nationalities to follow to become the ideal ship girl, having posted the paper online.
When Shigure heard about it, she wasn't sure what to make of it, but she knew Unryuu from their history together, and when she read through the paper on the computer in the library, she had a rough idea of what Unryuu was thinking about as she developed this doctrine.
And from the comments that followed the first publication, this was a popular, yet controversial way of looking at the life of a ship girl, yet many ship girls around the world have embraced and adopted it, improving their sortie performance significantly at a cost that seemed insignificant to some, yet meant the world to others.
And although variants of this belief were adopted unknowingly by ship girls in the past, Unryuu was discovered relatively early by the ship girls of Yokosuka at the cost of Taihou, and thus had more time to think and develop and refine the doctrine.
Shigure made her way to the Unryu-Class Carrier room shared by Unryuu and Amagi, standing before the door that had the label '雲龍' and raising her clenched fist to knock on the door, after which Shigure heard a young and soft voice responding.
"Come in."
And pressing down on the door handle with a click, she opened the door to reveal the Unryu-Class bedroom, the two beds in the room not occupying the entirety of the room as it seemed as if there was room for one more.
The well-sized room had a tatami mat with a classic Japanese tea table on it, and a tea set sitting atop the table with the cups flipped over to show that it currently wasn't with its supposed contents.
One bed that was neatly made had white bolsters, pillows and cushions arranged on the white bed-sheet. There were several jars of sweets and snacks atop the drawer at the head of the bed frame, the bottom of the bed possessing several storage drawers.
A large surreal poster was hung up beside it, depicting a beautiful formation of well-drawn clouds and was overlooking the ocean beneath.
It had a ship girl sailing over the clouds and looking out at the bright orange point at its center, representing a twilight sun that cast its orange glow on the airborne clouds, and by extension, the ship girl that was bizarrely walking on air as she looked at the scenery laid out before her.
The left side of the room was painted a bamboo green with a single bonsai tree on the single drawer present on this side of the room, contrasting with the right of the room which had a pure white color scheme.
There was a neatly arranged green bed here, the tea table positioned closer to this side of the room with a minimalist, yet homely feel to it.
Shigure deduced that the left belonged to Amagi as she wore a green kimono.
In front of her was Unryuu, who likely had the white side of the room to herself as evidenced by her white hair, partially white uniform, and cloud motif that was evident from her clothes.
Unryuu's white hair was wispy and shaped like a cloud while possessing a bejeweled hair ornament that held up her braided white ponytail. Her heart-shaped face was fine, and her yellow and silver tinted eyes were focused on the view beyond the window in the room as she observed the sunset outside.
Her uniform had an ornate design, the chest area designed to look like white clouds and was revealing a bit of cleavage as it was stretched to its limits, held at the collar by a yellow string tie.
Her short sleeves were a dark green that likely reflected her real life paint-job, her midriff exposed to show a healthy abdomen and shapely hips that were barely hidden behind a white mini skirt.
She had army-green thigh-highs that also had white clouds on them to drive home the point that her name meant 'cloud dragon', with emphasis on the 'cloud' part.
Unryuu looked to Shigure, who bowed politely towards her in greeting, and Unryuu barely nodded in acknowledgement as she looked back out the window which had a stunning view of the ocean and the setting sun.
The room was warmly lit by the circular halo that was the fluorescent light on the ceiling of the room, and Unryuu stated.
"So, you're the one that Amagi-nee sent, hmm?
I figured, since you and I know each other from the war."
Shigure nodded, understanding the fact that she escorted her on an ultimately futile attempt to try to reinforce the front lines and was sunk by a submarine, Shigure rescuing some of her crew as she sank.
Unryuu continued.
"I assume you've read about my thesis paper?"
Shigure responded, although thinking back on it, Shigure was certain that Unryuu, at the time of writing the paper, was more of the scatterbrained sister that Amagi believed her to be as the paper was rather childishly and simply written in its first edition, although her points were clear and the arguments valid.
The subsequent editions revised certain points, clarified others, and addressed the various questions and criticism that arose.
"It was rather… enlightening.
The 'Nirvana' Theory, was it?
The cessation of humanity within a ship girl, which is part of the Five Illusions to perform at our absolute best."
Unryuu now glanced towards Shigure, her eyes now interested in the thoughtful and insightful ship girl who sounded as if she wanted to learn more.
"Interesting.
Unlike everyone, who calls my paper either a bunch of bull, or a heartless and cruel ideal that seems too utilitarian in nature, you seem to understand that this is a doctrine that I personally follow, and I don't force it on anyone."
Shigure motioned to Unryuu's bed, the carrier nodding as Shigure bowed again, adjusting her dress as she sat on the comfy and puffy bed.
"Yes, but I'd like you to explain the Five Illusions, in case I missed out something, or you have something to clarify or add."
Unryuu looked back out towards the window, mentally preparing herself for an in-depth explanation as she started.
"I came up with this theory as the base was going through a rough patch with the loss of Taihou in the very battle where they found me.
I suppose Amagi-nee has already explained to you that Admiral Mako wanted to find me, but lost Taihou as a result, right?"
Shigure grimaced as she nodded firmly, hearing from a worried Amagi that she had heard others witnessing Unryuu expressing various stages of guilt and grief.
Many of them theorized that she felt some sort of overwhelming need to make it up to everyone and pushing aside everything she deemed unnecessary as a form of penance and to perform at her best all the time, eventually coming up with the Nirvana Theory.
"As I looked to the clouds and the birds flying freely, I wondered,
'Why do we suffer, and the birds and clouds don't seem to be affected by them?'
And I slowly came to the realization that they didn't seem chained down by loss like we were, and that we had to let go of everything that held us back in battle.
I came up with and wrote down this idea of how a ship girl should truly behave in battle to minimize pain and suffering while achieving the best results.
To be a 'human' weapon would mean that our 'human' selves would hinder us in battle, this being something that has no place on a battlefield and should be suppressed."
Shigure narrowed her eyes at that, agreeing with both parties that while Unryuu's view of how a ship girl should behave in battle was an extremist's way of thinking, it was also generally accepted that to be a soldier, something within you had to be suppressed on the battlefield in order to easily perform gut-wrenching deeds like taking the life of your enemy before you hesitated and died as a result.
And to see it from Unryuu's point of view, as a standard carrier who was far weaker than the esteemed carriers like Kaga and Akagi, she had to resort to far more drastic measures to ensure that she could fight on par with the rest of the ship girl population.
She couldn't judge a ship girl who had neither talent or potential, yet possessed the drive to fight and win at all costs for the right reasons.
"The Five Illusions are what clouds a ship girl's judgement in sorties, but they are necessary to a ship girl's life outside of battle.
These Five Illusions must be suppressed or thrown away in battle to achieve the greatest results in sorties with the least amount of losses.
The first illusion is Emotion.
In battle, we must not be swayed by emotions, both positive and negative, for if we allow ourselves to be negatively influenced by these events, our hearts will waver and cause us to perform underwhelmingly.
Whatever benefits these feelings may bring in pushing us forward is offset by the fact that is often causes us to act without prior consideration of the situation.
The second illusion is Humanity.
As we sortie, we must throw away or suppress our humanity, lest we fail to perform what is necessary to succeed.
If it is necessary for you to put a ship girl out of her misery, you must do so cleanly and efficiently so as not to let her suffer unnecessarily.
This is very a utilitarian view of things, but it helps us focus only on the objective and helps us choose the right thing to do, and that is whatever helps us complete the objective in the most efficient way possible.
The third illusion is Bonds.
We must understand that just as a weapon must not falter, we must not feel too attached to this material realm and always be ready to cast away our bonds with our sisters and seniors should they sink in battle, lest our spirits sink along with them.
It is imperative that we do not cling on too tightly too these bonds to our friends, sisters, and even our material bodies, for they may entangle us and trip us up in the most inopportune of moments.
The fourth illusion is Morals.
We must understand that war is a place where is is difficult to apply human morals. The victors write history, so if we were ever to lose, we would be vilified in the Abyssal history books, and the same would happen to them were we ever to win.
Added to the fact that we know nothing about their motives, we must not believe that what we are doing is correct just because we fight for the sake of others, and feel justified in killing Abyssals.
Another thing that would no longer affect us as we let go of the illusion of morals is guilt over killing the Abyssals, something that may contradict the moral righteousness of others.
The gun does not feel guilt over killing someone as it expels a bullet, and on that note, the ship girl, who is a weapon first and foremost, must not concern herself with what is right or wrong, and exists only to do her job in war.
The final illusion is Desire.
We must not feel the desire to harm our enemies, as the act of killing itself, even in war, is already a sinful act. We must do our duty efficiently and not seek to unnecessarily hurt or torture Abyssals, lest they repay the deed tenfold.
The desire to win when taken to extremes, especially when we're losing will lead to desperation that will lead to our downfall via mistakes made, as evidenced in the last World War.
The thirst for revenge is also another blunder that threatens to drive us insane with our own hatred and grief, and we must learn to let it go.
Desires are all about gratifying the self, and we must give up the self in favor of the mission, as the weapon must have no desire of its own."
Shigure nodded, thinking about these 'Illusions' that surround a ship girl's life.
They were part of being human, but in sorties and battles, they did nothing but hinder them, especially when they were essentially human weapons, and the human nature and psyche was fallible and thus very unreliable.
If they were to let go of these illusions in sorties, they would essentially be embracing the side of themselves that were created to be weapons and ultimately machines, making hard decisions and fighting without any hesitation no matter what happened.
Shigure contemplated the Five Illusions for a moment, before bringing something up that she read at the end of the paper to address those that read the paper.
"You said something about things that should be noted about the Five Illusions and that they were almost as important as the doctrine itself.
What were they, exactly?"
Unryuu, now in full lecturer mode, was into educating Shigure as she started the final part of her lecture.
"The first thing to note, is that you must not force this doctrine upon anyone, as everyone is entitled to their own personal beliefs.
The Nirvana Theory is also not a standard for you to judge everyone by, as we are all different.
The second thing is that this theory and doctrine is not perfect, and are not the equivalent of The Ten Commandments.
There are bound to be loopholes and exceptions, and there exists moments in the war where it is advisable to do what may not be in the best interests of everyone, but instead do what you personally feel is correct.
The third thing to note is that the acceptance the Nirvana Theory and 'letting go of the material self' is not a sign to disregard one's own worth as an asset to humanity and accept a suicide mission if a better alternative exists.
Each and every ship girl vessel is sacred and should never be thrown away with such inconsideration."
Shigure nodded, gravely understanding that this doctrine was never meant to be applied to the innumerable situations where countless factors, amongst them being the circumstances of a situation, had to be taken into account.
This war was a losing fight, so to speak, seeing that the enemy had seemingly limitless reserves and had no shortage of resources to wage a long-term war on humanity and all of ship girl-kind.
It was folly to think that anyone, from a lowly destroyer to a prominent battleship, should consider themselves expandable and pointlessly throw their lives away instead of retreating in order to cut their losses and fight another day.
Unryuu continued on, now not even pretending to look out the window as she thought about the various counter-arguments and valid points that were brought to light and were already addressed long before this discussion.
"The rejection of Morals should also mean that one is amoral, to carry out her duties faithfully without being hindered by moral issues, such as killing of Abyssals unflinchingly like how a gun shoots a bullet regardless of who is at the other end of the barrel.
But this is not an excuse to do what is immoral, where you know right from wrong but aspire to do wrong anyway, such as torture as a form of self-gratification.
The final thing to note, and perhaps the most important note, is the fact that the Five Illusions are not necessarily bad for us, and is accepted outside of sorties and battles.
Even when we are ultimately weapons, there exists a part of us that is human, and acceptance of the humanity within us is required to live a normal life.
Grieving over a lost friend, loving an Admiral, enjoying life, accepting the desire to improve oneself and essentially, being human.
Those are acceptable as we live our daily lives.
It is however, unacceptable to have them interfere and influence us in our sorties and cost us dearly in terms of injuries, net losses and fatalities."
Shigure nodded, finally and truly understanding what Unryuu was aiming for.
A perfect split between the human and machine, embracing one and rejecting the other whenever appropriate.
This was an unusual, yet strangely enough, very powerful way of looking at life when being a ship girl.
The doctrine contradicted what she assumed was the 'conventional' ship girl way of looking at life, as most ship girls saw their human selves becoming increasingly intertwined and eventually fused with their ship selves that were designed to be weapons of humanity.
But what the Nirvana Theory stated was that the human part of ship girl was weak, and was too volatile to be of any use to ship girls in a world as violent as theirs.
So they had to suppress and snuff out all humanity and emotion within them as they sortied, cutting off all ties with this world and solely focus on carrying out their duty, which would allow them to achieve a heightened awareness in battle and do what others would not in order to achieve victory.
Paradoxically, by accepting this theory into their lives, it would be theoretically simpler to distinguish the complexities of life from the burdens of war and how to handle them separately, unlike those who had them intertwined and allowed to weigh down on them constantly, something the human mind was likely never meant to handle in the long-term while using their unreliable moral compass to guide them.
But one thing was bothering her.
"Unryuu-san, I would like to ask. You said that it was inappropriate of us to feel desire in sorties. What about the desire to live?"
Unryuu looked to Shigure, not even batting an eye as she answered without hesitation in her voice.
"Desire breeds desperation, especially when we are not getting what we want.
The desire to live can be counted as an exception, when you decide to cut your losses and retreat wisely to fight another day, and to avoid needlessly sacrificing the lives of ship girls.
But allowing it to cloud our judgement is wrong, and we must accept death as an eventuality of life, and not retreat too often, resulting in a net loss."
Shigure thought about it.
Truly, it was a powerful doctrine, allowing the ship girl to block out all unnecessary thoughts to assess the situation coldly, to momentarily disregard tune out all pain and fight on without hesitation.
Any mistake is attributed to the human self.
The machine half of the ship girl is never wrong, and only human error exists within the ship girl.
But she asked one last question.
"But, to fight our battles in such a machine-like way, is that not being almost the same as the Abyssals, who also seem emotionally dead as we meet them on the battlefield?"
Unryuu nodded, apparently looking as if she had answered variants of this question over the course of time.
"Of course, you must know of the saying,
'Fight fire with fire'.
I personally believe that our humanity is holding us back from achieving our full potential in battle, and if we were to suppress our human selves to fight like the Abyssals, who utilize overwhelming quantity over quality to hold the line, we would be able to easily wipe out entire armadas with but a handful of our fleets.
I believe that we should be able to, at any time, become a machine to fight enemies who behave like machines.
And the primary difference between us and them is that we are able to switch between these two selves, the ship and the girl if we trained ourselves.
But so far, there has been no evidence that Abyssals, aside from Princesses, possess anything resembling what we could call 'humanity', although we must remember to keep our minds open and not judge them for who they are."
Shigure looked away, already fearing the carrier that she once knew and saw sink to the bottom of the ocean in a burning wreck, now returning as a meek, silent and brooding carrier who looked and behaved in an air-headed fashion, yet possessing a far more dangerous outlook on life than any other carrier in terms of mindset.
If there was ever a more fitting comparison, Unryuu would be like the eye of the storm, where the calm of the carrier belied her true deadliness in terms of her mindset and way of thinking.
"And regarding those who say that fighting while being like the Abyssals is something undesirable?"
"Nonsense.
We're barely holding the line as it is, and this war will force us to betray the expectations we set for ourselves and commit morally questionable deeds sooner or later.
Our job is to win this war as quickly and as efficiently as possible, and if that means doing throwing away our humanity, which, might I remind you that we weren't even supposed to possess as weapons of war, and accept what others deem 'undesirable' to improve our odds of survival and victory, it would almost be an insult not to accept it.
Their desire to remain untainted by the horrors of war and come out unsullied is beyond my comprehension.
We can discuss about this so-called 'honor' when we're either victorious or dead."
"... So, that's what she said?"
Amagi looked crestfallen as she reviewed Shigure's memory, several of the ship girl carriers surrounding the destroyer as they sat in the Bird's Nest.
Kaga was there, also contemplating the situation seriously as she, too, finished listening to Unryuu's lecture in her mind and had on a look of disquiet and disapproval as she looked at the floor.
Zuikaku and Shoukaku were there, and the ones absent were Hiryu, Soryu and Akagi, both of them escorted out of the room by Akagi whom Kaga promised to review the meeting with later when she came back from chaperoning the two carriers to dinner.
Zuikaku was livid, stamping around as she thought back about the doctrine as a whole, before exploding,
"This whole theory is bullshit!
What's the point of fighting for humanity when you don't feel anything for humanity?!"
But Shoukaku was quick to point out to her fuming sister.
"But it's been proven to be an effective doctrine, and it has improved the sortieing results of the ship girls who adopted this doctrine, Zuikaku-nee."
And Zuikaku retorted.
"But what's the point of being reincarnated as ship girls when we aren't driven to win, or be more humane than our enemies?"
Kaga finally gave her input, shifting her head to look in the general direction of the Shoukaku-Class carriers as she answered.
"And what good is that, if it hinders us in combat?"
Zuikaku froze up at that, but she respectfully listened to Kaga's take on the situation, Kaga calmly assessing the situation as they all sat on the bed while Shigure sat in a respectful seiza position in the middle of the room.
"I have always been mystified as to how Unryuu was capable of being so efficient in her sorties and achieve the best possible results despite being worse than us in terms of stats and being generally weaker than most carriers, although I would like to point out that I respect her as a comrade despite the gap in ability.
But after hearing this, I feel that she has divided herself into two halves of herself, the human and the weapon.
While I understand myself enough to know that I am not a very emotional person and personally strive for emotional balance within myself, I personally believe that this doctrine, however effective, will only cause more despair within Unryuu.
Discarding and suppressing her humanity when it suits the situation will inevitably create a conflict within herself whenever her machine and human half contradict each other over an issue on the battlefield, something that could cost her dearly."
She looked to Shigure to indirectly ask her on her opinion on the matter, and Amagi followed her gaze, finally resting her eyes on the Shiratsuyu-Class destroyer and leaning in to plead as she went on her knees, eyes watering as she begged.
"Please, convince Unryuu-nee that this doctrine is detrimental to her mental health, and she needs to stop!"
But Shigure shook her head, looking Amagi in the eyes and regarding her with utmost seriousness.
"You can't control your sister like that, Amagi-san.
The more you try to dissuade her, the more she will distance herself from you as you encroach on her personal space.
You must instead be there for her whenever you can and help her without being intrusive, and even if you can't understand her, you must accept her."
Shigure's expression darkened as she predicted the thought patterns of the Unryuu-Class carrier and tried her best to help Amagi get closer to her sister ship without pushing her away and destroying their relationship.
"She already knows in her mind that you won't accept her way of thinking, this being one of the main reasons why she didn't want to share her thoughts with you in the first place.
Things will only take a turn for the worse should you try to convince her otherwise and only serve to prove her right.
Prove her wrong by respecting her right to think for herself, but convince her of its shortcomings, slowly convincing her with points that make sense and being there for her whenever she needs support.
Eventually, she will experience an internal conflict where her Theory will conflict with her humanity, and you must be there for her when this happens."
Amagi looked away and considered Shigure's words before looking back and nodding, still upset at her sister coming up with and adopting such an extreme doctrine.
Zuikaku knelt down to look down at Shigure and asked inquisitively, Shigure taking the time to note several hints of hope, fear, and desperation by her facial appearance, the stance she adopted and the tone of her voice as she asked her question.
"...But there is a loophole in this theory, right?
It can't be perfect, right?"
Shigure nodded at that, looking thoughtful as she reviewed the Nirvana Theory in its entirety in her mind.
"The first thing to note, is that she advocates only suppression of emotions whenever we sortie, not the complete expunging of a ship girl's humanity to make a ship girl truly emotionless, so that isn't something we have to worry about.
Even Unryuu herself has stated that this theory is not perfect."
Shigure looked away, thinking about her personal outlook of life and how it somewhat differed from Unryuu's extreme doctrine, the Nirvana Theory being an extreme version of how Shigure personally felt a ship girl should behave in battle.
"I personally believe in something similar to this, that your should clear your mind of all worries, fear and hubris, amongst other things, before we even fire off the first shot.
But where we differ is that while I understand the pitfalls of allowing my emotions to fuel my action and push me forward, to risk the possibility of letting them run rampant within my heart and losing control of them, I still allow myself to feel emotions in the midst of battle.
The Nirvana Theory does not tolerate this.
The first thing is the fact that ship girls can exceed their limits for a short period of time is due to the fact that we are driven to do better.
But if we are to be machine-like, we are bound to hit the mechanical limit and have no desire to do better than what our material body allow us to.
Eventually, when she is required to go past her physical limits, she may be forced to call upon her emotions to drive her in battle, an experience that would be foreign to her.
Either that, or she would determine that the fight is lost and cut her losses."
Zuikaku piped up, now interested in the direction this conversation was going.
"B-But, we'll be there for her when that happens, to show her that emotions do have a place in battle, where they can push us on no matter how fallible they may be!"
Shigure smiled at that along with Shoukaku and Amagi, Shigure thankful that Unryuu had such understanding family and friends to help her on her path to becoming stronger.
"The second thing is that the believes in a perfect split between the human and the machine self, and that the human self can be absolutely suppressed whenever we want it to be.
I personally do not agree that we can snuff out all traces of humanity within us when we fight, for we are created to be like humans.
We will always have emotions.
And eventually, she will experience a conflict between her humanity and her doctrine whenever a morally tough choice comes along, and she has to make a choice between which half to listen to, either the human or the machine."
Shigure noted something about the name-ship of the Unryuu-Class carrier, citing.
"However, even when it seems as if she may be acting heartlessly by making an unpopular decision in battle, I think we should try to understand the struggles that she may face.
She tries to detach herself from the situation to be able to think logically and not allow familial bias, peer pressure and what others may see as the 'right' thing to do cloud her judgement in order to act in the best interests of the mission objective.
But there may be times where following her doctrine may actually work against her, and we need to help correct her whenever we know for certain that what she's doing is wrong.
After all, she did account for the fact that there would always be exceptions where her doctrine was inapplicable."
Kaga nodded, accepting Shigure's explanation and opinion on how to handle things as she looked to Amagi and respectfully addressed her.
"Amagi-san, rest assured that we will be on the lookout for anything wrong with Unryuu-san.
I understand the concern that you would show for a sister ship.
Unryuu-san is a valued comrade and also a fellow carrier, and we will do everything in our power to be there for her, no matter what she may go through while following her personal beliefs.
The path she has chosen to attain strength is cold and unforgiving, but we must, and will be there for her no matter what."
Zuikaku nodded vigorously, adding.
"Yeah!
We may not be able to change her mind because we respect her right to think what she wants, but if she ever feels lonely or miserable as she follows this doctrine, we'll be there to see what we can do!"
Shoukaku was more level-headed as she reassured Amagi.
"Unryuu-san is the type of girl to let her mind wander, but when it comes down to it, she can be really insightful and serious when she tries.
She just doesn't want others to suffer and grieve in a manner that everyone did after the loss of Taihou.
Taihou was lost in the pursuit to find Unryuu, and seeing us all grieve for her immensely might have caused her to feel extremely guilty about Taihou giving her life to find her, and wished to do something about it.
Thus, she developed this extremely utilitarian, and somewhat nihilistic doctrine to avoid feeling like this ever again and to make it up to us in her own way.
Although it is not the best path she could have chosen, we will be there for her all the way, not just as carriers, but as comrades-in-arms and ultimately, friends."
Shigure was holding Amagi's hands now, leaning now to reassure a now crying Amagi, softly comforting her.
"It'll be alright.
By our combined might and will, we will do everything we can to make sure she never has to suffer alone."
And Amagi nodded slowly, sniffling as the tears streaked down her cheeks, thanking everyone for their dedication to such weak carriers.
"Thank you… thank you, all of you…"
The sea was dark, and the port was almost uninhabited save for the few spotlight stands lighting up the storage containers, standing tall over the shipyard as silent and watchful guardians to illuminate the night.
But at the edge of the port, where the poorly-lit pavement of the base was only guarded by a steel fence, the harbor platform ended as it let to a sheer drop into the now pitch-black waters, where a large ship was waiting.
When compared to other container ships, this ship was relatively unimpressive in size, built to serve its purpose than to impress others, with the anchor lowered into the water and several thick ropes secured to mooring cleats in order to moor the vessel.
And judging by the lack of activity of the cranes in the loading bay and the base that was next to the port, it was very safe to assume that this was in the middle of the night, or at least very late into the night for almost everyone to be resting.
The small container ship by the port, a modest-looking ship that had a superstructure about 17 meters tall that was jutting upwards while positioned at the rear to overlook the whole ship, immediately followed by what was supposed to be a relatively large area meant to fit dozens of steel containers in front of the superstructure, followed by a small elevation of the platform and ending with the sharp bow.
It was designed to carry containers larger than an average human, but now, the container platform was refitted with a mammoth-sized steel box that was more than half the height of the rear superstructure.
The large steel box had several large steel tubes either coming out of one part of the wall and going back into the massive steel box on another side, or into the lower deck of the container ship and marked out by the heavy-duty bolts holding it in place.
There were several exhaust vents and funnels jutting up from the steel box, and several cooling units attached to its sides in order to maintain the temperature of the environment within the enormous metal crate.
And at the hull, above the waterline, were a few holes easily large enough for a human to crawl in and out of to access the ship to allow for easy dispensing of the explosive contents stored within the steel box that was installed on the container-carrying platform of the container ship.
The bow of the ship had several almost human-sized giant metallic spheres resting on them, with metallic rods sticking out of them at certain angles around them, almost invisible in the darkness that engulfed the deck of the ship.
The searchlight stands installed on the deck of the container ship were currently inactive and the only source of light was from small light sources on the deck and from within the superstructure as its occupants didn't want to attract any attention and strove to sortie in the dead of night to that end.
The ship itself was outfitted with dark and mild colors, nothing that would help it stand out in the dark to maintain stealth.
The name of the boat was cancelled out with paint, and beside the crossed out name was the sloppily written, but still legible,
'爆発'
To stand for 'Explosion'.
The platform itself had several dozen barrels of fuel and naval mines strapped onto it wherever space was available, and had several ladders as access points to which the submarines that piloted this ship could board the ship whenever they wished.
There were also a few motor-powered, smaller boats strapped to the sides of the ship, ready to be used in times of emergency as lifeboats for the few sailors that helped man the gigantic mine-laying ship.
There were three submarines currently gathered around a person who wore a familiar white blazer and officer cap as Admiral Mako looked down at her girls fondly.
Around her, her submarines were awaiting orders, and almost all of them were wearing the signature blue swimsuit that would help others identify them as submarines.
The exception to this rule of fashion was one white colored, one-piece school swimsuit-wearing ship girl that was amongst the rest of the submarines tending to the ship that was designed to run with a small crew despite its relatively large size.
Goya was one of the main trio that stood in front of her, her peach-pink colored hair reflecting her default mood as she seemed eager to sortie, shifting her weight from one feet to another excitedly.
The second of the trio was Imuya, her long red hair in a ponytail and a hair ribbon adorning one side of her hair to the side of her face.
She had an ahoge atop her crown and her school swimsuit was like Goya, also possessing the same blue and white school uniform top to reach down to her waist and cover her school swimsuit.
She had her arms crossed, looking ready to take part in the new mission that they were given, and she was trying and failing to hide the giant smirk on her face, her reddish-pink eyes twinkling.
The last of the main trio literally had twinkling red eyes, her eyes designed to have stars in them as she hopped around impatiently and caused her massive 'fuel tanks' to giggle about wantonly.
Her light-blue hair, with pinkish hues at its edges and end as they were tied into triple tails, and pinkish-white ribbons holding them at their root.
And it was almost unnoticeable, but there a hair piece that somewhat resembled an antenna on her left temple, and her school swimsuit had no school uniform top, but instead had an imprinted black letters on a white name tag that read 'I-19', writing her name Iku out loud.
Admiral Mako pacified them with a half-raised hand, and the trio immediately stopped their movements to hear Admiral Mako out.
"Alright, like I told you subs. What is the objective here again?"
Goya raised her hand, exclaiming enthusiastically.
"Do everything the way you want it to, including this and that, right?"
Imuya lightly smacked her on the head, exclaiming.
"What do you mean, 'this and that', did you sleep through the briefing again?!"
Goya answered truthfully and without hesitation.
"Yes, I did!"
Earning her another light smack on the back of the head.
Iku raised her hand next, her chest giggling from the exertion as she answered.
"Mine the location determined by the Coordinators with our Anti-Abyssal naval mines, and also help the subs of other bases to mine the entire location and sail back without provoking or engaging the enemy, right?"
"Yep, that's about it."
"Yay!
Iku's right yet again!"
As the submarine rejoiced, she deliberately hopped around, treating Admiral Mako to a view of two melons flailing around, attempting to escape the tight confines of her school swimsuit that was modified to be a size smaller and emphasizing her curves, all for the Admiral.
Admiral looked away with a small smirk and blush, and asked the trio.
"Did you account for everyone on the ship?"
Imuya nodded, counting on her left hand.
"We've got Hachi, Ro, Maru-yu and Shioi to all help us out, so that's a resounding yes!"
Admiral ruffled the trio's hair, muttering to them.
"You girls have been working hard ever since the renovations and carrying out my secret plans.
So tell you what.
When you girls come back, I'll treat you all to Mamiya's best food.
Remember to tell the rest of the subs, alright?"
The submarines all cheered and bowed as they turned away to walk up the plank to board the ship while the Admiral waltzed away to attend to other matters.
The submarines were getting into the mood, muttering conspiratorially to each other as their eyes slowly became crazed while they boarded the heavily modified mine-laying ship, Goya starting.
"So, we plant the naval mines, and as we detonate them, we go 'Yay' …"
Goya continued.
" … the mine goes 'BOOM!' …"
Iku trailed off.
" …and the Abyssals go…"
The three submarines, primary members of the Specialized Mining Fleet, hid their mouths as they snickered, too engrossed in the in-joke as they answered unanimously.
" … everywhere!"
And broke out into fits of giggles as they hoisted up the plank and cut the ropes, the anchor slowly pulling itself up via an internal motor as the boat sluggishly moved out into the darkness in order to plant its specially created explosive contents in the depths.