Tami decided to study at the coffee shop the next evening as well, even though she never went twice in a row. Eric, as usual, walked her home. It was a clear, crisp evening, with the scent of fall still lingering in the air, and the windows of the closed shops were littered with decorations – cottony snow, lighted stars, brilliantly red poinsettias, and silver and gold tinsel. It was cool enough that Tami needed a coat, but not so cool that she needed to button it.

"So you ready for Friday's game?" she asked. The State Championship would be held Friday evening in Abilene at Shotwell Stadium. The team bus was leaving at 10 AM, and school was letting out at noon so that admiring fans would have plenty of time to make the drive. Friday morning would no doubt be witness to the biggest, most frenzied pep rally the school had ever known.

"As ready as I'll ever be."

"You going to Jackson's party on Saturday?" Whether the Tigers won or lost, its punter was planning on throwing a magnificent party after the team bus got back to town. "I know Mo is."

"I guess so. Most of the team is going to be there, so I kind of feel obligated."

"Obligated? To go to a party?"

"Honestly? I don't really like parties," he confessed. "I know I have to go sometimes, to be a part of the team and all, but…" He shrugged.

"What don't you like about them?"

"I hate those stupid drinking games, for one. I mean, I like a beer or two, but just chugging it? And everything's always so loud that you can't have a real conversation, not even about football. And people are always trying to get me to jump up on a table or kiss some mystery girl in a dark closet."

"You are so straight laced," she said. "Do you ever have fun?"

"I'm having fun right now." He smiled lightly at her, almost as if he was considering his own private joke.

"Well, I'm not going either. That's my father's birthday. We're going out for dinner as a family and then going to see A Christmas Story."

"You should go to Taylor's for dinner."

She assumed he was joking and laughed. "Yeah. My mom would love that."

"But your dad likes it there. And he'd get a free birthday beer."

"What do you mean he likes it there?" Tami asked.

"Well, I mean, he's been there every Saturday from one to three since it opened."

"What?" Tami asked. "My dad? I thought he just went the once."

"Oh." Eric's eyes darted around.

"What does he do there for two hours? How much does he drink?"

"Just a pint," Eric insisted. "He just hangs out, you know. We play darts."

"You and my dad?"

"Sometimes we play pool."

"You hang out with my father every Saturday for two hours at a bar?"

"Unless I have to taxi someone, but that almost never happens before three." He leaned down, a gesture of confidentially, and said, "I'm supposed to be studying when I'm not taxing. But my dad isn't there on Saturday afternoons to see."

"He's there every Saturday? I mean, I don't care, but I don't think it's good for their marriage for my dad to be keeping a secret like that from my mom."

"I don't think he's keeping it from your mom. She called down one afternoon asking for him because she thought he accidentally took her house keys."

"Really?"

Eric nodded.

Tami shook her head. The things she didn't know about her parents' marriage could fill a book. "Why doesn't your dad drink at all, by the way? I mean…he owns a bar."

"I don't know," Eric answered. "Your dad thinks it's because he doesn't ever want to feel like he's not in control. His mom died when he was eight, which left him alone with his stepfather, who was mentally unstable."

"How sad."

"My dad grew up in complete disorder. His stepfather couldn't hold a job for long, worked on and off, and he would just leave trash lying all over the house. There was no food in the fridge half the time. The man was completely unpredictable, left at a different time every morning, came back at a different time every evening. The Reverend says that might be the reason for my dad's perfectionism and some of his control issues - that he just went to the other extreme to survive the chaos."

"That makes some sense."

"My dad essentially struck out on his own at fifteen."

Tami was dumbfounded. "Fifteen?"

"He dropped out of high school, worked three different part-time jobs, two of them off the books to avoid labor laws."

"I always assumed he was some high school football star. Football is so important to him."

"No. My success in football is important to him. If I'd been good at baseball or soccer or, hell, even science instead, he'd have driven me just as hard in one of those areas. He was like that with Kathleen, when it came to math and music."

"I assumed he went to college and played college ball and majored in business."

Eric shook his head. "He just got his GED. He pulled himself up by his bootstraps. And it's important to him to produce successful, disciplined children, so they never have to live like he had to live in the beginning, or like my mom had to live before they got married. She was really struggling after Kathleen's father took off."

Tami's eyes widened. "Wait. What?"

"Don't go talking about this, but...Kathleen's my half-sister. My mom eloped after her junior year of high school, but her husband took off less than a year after Kathleen was born. He didn't pay his child support. Her own parents had disowned her when she eloped, and she had nowhere to turn."

"Wow."

"They were barely scraping by when my dad hired my mom a year later. She was 20. He was 25 at the time, but he was already managing a bar."

"She told me she was a bar maid."

"He paid her well. Let her bring Kathleen to work sometimes, when she couldn't find help. She'd sleep in a playpen in his office. My mom always says he saved them from poverty. I think she's told me all this about him to defend him to me, because she loves him. But I don't." He sighed. "I don't love my own father." He swallowed. "I even told your dad I hate him."

"And what did my dad say?" Tami asked.

"He said, Don't make that mistake. He said my dad is just a man, with his own struggles and his own demons, and if I let myself hate him, that hatred could come to define me."

It occurred to Tami that her father was counseling Eric, and Eric didn't even know it. Eric probably couldn't have brought himself to set foot in her father's office. The guys on the team would have made fun of him if they knew he was seeing a counselor about his daddy issues, and Mr. Taylor would call him weak if he ever found out, but Eric could play a game of darts. He could shoot some pool with the Reverend.

"Sorry," he said. "I got to running my mouth there." He fell silent, and they walked in that silence for a while.

Before it could get awkward, she said, "I heard some guy from A&M was talking to you."

"Yeah. Surprised me, honestly. That's a seriously good team."

"It shouldn't surprise you. The Tigers are going to State on Friday. You did that."

"The team did that."

"You helped. A lot," she told him. "The scouts know that. Everyone knows that."

"Does Mo? Because he blames me for stealing his thunder."

"He did at first," Tami said, "a little bit, but he's over that now. He cares about the team, and about winning as a team."

"You aren't in the locker room, Tami. You aren't on the field."

"What does that mean?"

"How well do you really know him?"

Tami's interior defenses shot up like a stone wall seeking to guard some vulnerable and precious jewel. There were no windows in that wall. She couldn't see out. She didn't want to see out, because then that beautiful jewel might vanish like a mirage. "What does that mean? You think you know my boyfriend better than I do? I've dated him for over a year. I've shared my heart with him."

"Yeah." Eric nodded. "Yeah, you're right. Sorry." He buried his hands in his coat pockets and walked faster.

[*]

The black knob twirled to the right and then smoothly slid back to 0. Right 23. Left 18. Right 35. Mo's locker clicked open. The contents were as scattered as his thoughts could be. It always amazed Tami how successful Mo was in school when he couldn't seem to keep anything in order and he never studied. Mo aced his tests, so even though he forgot to turn in his homework half the time, he had a solid B average. He was smart. Even if it wasn't obvious to others, Tami saw how quickly he picked things up, and that was one of the things she admired about him.

In her hand, Tami held a small box containing a cupcake. The orange sprinkles lodged in the dark brown icing formed Mo's jersey number. After setting the box on the floor, she began rummaging through his locker. Tami told herself she had to rearrange his books and papers in order to set the cupcake somewhere, because she didn't want to admit to herself that Eric's hints had made her suspicious. If she had been looking for clues that something was amiss with Mo, however, she didn't find them. There were no revenge plans against Eric, no rally girl's panties, no photo of some other girl, no notes. Just a mess of books and papers. And even though she told herself she hadn't been suspicious, she still felt relieved.

Tami stacked Mo's books as neatly as she could manage. She set a note down on top of his Physics book. On top of that, she placed the cupcake.

"That's what I miss most about having a girlfriend."

Jolted by Eric's voice, Tami slammed Mo's locker shut.

"The cupcakes?" she asked. Not the sex? "Don't you have a rally girl for that?" Of course, he could probably get a rally girl for the sex, too, if he wanted.

"I meant the notes. It's nice to have an entire letter where someone only says good things about you." He nodded to the locker. "Did you organize it while you were in there?"

Tami leaned back against the cool, orange metal of the closed door. She felt like a two-year old who has just been caught climbing the sink to get in the medicine cabinet.

Fortunately, she was saved by the bell.

[*]

At lunch, Mo thanked Tami for the cupcake he'd discovered in his locker. "Sugar from my sweet," he said, and kissed her across the table.

"Let's do something tonight," she told him. "I feel like we aren't spending enough time together."

"Will your dad even let you? On a school night?"

"I don't know," she admitted. "It just seems like we used to be…inseparable, you know? Remember when we used to sit in church together every Sunday? It might sound silly, because it's so simple, but…I miss that."

"Well come to my mom's church with me tonight then. I bet your dad would let you do that."

"On a Wednesday?"

"They have Wednesday evening services. I never go. Just seems like a repeat of Sunday to me. But we could go this one time, and afterwards…" He grinned and wiggled his eyebrows. "Maybe take the long way home? Park? I mean, I should probably let off some steam before State."

[*]

Mo's church was different to Tami, but she was glad to be there. Mo held her hand when they were sitting, which made her feel content and reminded her of those early days of their relationship. When they rose to sing the hymns, she loved to hear the surprising sweetness of his voice. It reminded her of Mo the choirboy, of how he had once come to her rescue with his "Amen!", and of how shyly he had asked her for that first date.

Pages rustled as they turned to the next hymn. Mo caught her eyes and smiled. "You're beautiful," he mouthed, and, in that moment, she was as sure as she had ever been of his love.