Shigure was discharged before dinner like Akashi promised, the warm fabric of her newly-ironed uniform pressing on her skin as she quietly stepped out of the docks, ready to eat her dinner alone before quietly retiring for the night.
And those hopes were immediately dashed as she was greeted by her sister ships zerg-rushing her, giving her one hell of a group hug as she was slowly suffocated by her sisters' passionate embrace, and had to spend about five minutes to convincingly reassure them that she wasn't going to do anything drastic like taking her own life, after which they finally believed her and ushered her towards the canteen.
The fact that they kept her in their sights at all times didn't escape Shigure's notice, although she was was rather ambivalent about her sisters' skittishness around her and how they looked as though they really wanted to confront her, yet tried their best to pretend that everything was alright.
Noting the slightly reddish eyes of her sisters, Samidare's wet gloves, the barely perceptible redness of their noses and the sniffling of her sisters told her that they had been crying, and Shigure now felt even worse about trying to take her own life and almost inflicting an unimaginable amount of pain on them, the kind that can only be felt when a sister ship sank.
Shigure was currently eating porridge with scrambled eggs on one plate, salted fish on another with a small dish of peanuts and bauxite seated alongside a chilled steel fuel can, a meal specially made by Mamiya to help her recover from her injury.
But her sisters were too nervous to try and engage her in conversation, or in Yuudachi's case, too engrossed in trying to scarf her food down after a long day while Samidare and Murasame genuinely looked worried about her, but Japanese manners dictated that they act as though everything was alright so as not to provoke her and make things worse, although Shigure knew that deep down, they really wanted to console her.
Just another inconvenience that arose when being reincarnated as a humanoid; you have to behave just like a human did.
Sigh.
Looking down at the piece of refined bauxite in her spoon, she decided to engage in a neutral topic as she asked Samidare why bauxite was so important in maintaining their bodies after seeing Kaga and Akagi hoard a small mountain of the refined reddish-brown ore, and since her blue-haired sister was a bit more knowledgeable about the physiology of the ship girls as she studiously listened to her seniors who conducted their lessons, she answered Shigure's question.
"U-Um, bauxite is used for what is known as 'External Unit Control', and bauxite is ingested so that our bodies can break it down and use it to maintain the neural networks that connect us to our weapons.
Any ship girl up to a heavy cruiser class doesn't require too much bauxite to function, because our weapons are mostly handheld or are comparatively small in size compared to the larger cannons of the battleships.
Power is transmitted to our weapons via touch or through our riggings, and the activation of our cannons..."
"Which means firing off a shell, right?"
Samidare nodded politely, Yuudachi now losing her interest in the conversation as they veered off into technical territory, the blonde destroyer shifting her attention onto the dinner tray before her.
"Firing a cannon is either done by hand since our cannons are mostly handheld, or by sending a signal into our riggings in order to get them to swivel around to aim at the target and then fire.
The thing is that our weapons don't consume too much power, are small in size to allow us to hold and move them around, and they're in contact with our riggings or hands, hence allowing us to maintain a direct link with them."
Shigure nodded as she slurped on some of the porridge and swallowed it before asking inquisitively.
"But carriers and battleships require more bauxite to maintain, am I right?"
Murasame nodded, her sisters now looking extremely eager to take this chance in order to distract her from whatever depressing thoughts that may still be plaguing Shigure as her sister chimed.
"Of course, since their weapons are considered heavy-duty.
The carriers need to maintain a wireless connection with their planes over long distances so that they can give their orders and allow their reconnaissance planes to transmit a live feed of the ocean in order to scout ahead.
The Fairies are the ones who fly the planes, but the carriers have better situational awareness, and also understand the flow of battle well enough to command their plane squadrons effectively.
They require powerful, wireless radio-control capabilities in order to command and micromanage their planes if the need arises, and need bauxite to fuel this ability and even boost it in certain cases if consumed in bulk."
Shigure nodded, picking up a small, refined bauxite piece with her spoon and wondering about how the battleships required so much bauxite to function in battle, and remembered Samidare's quote about their handheld cannons being rather small when compared to the large-caliber cannons of the battleships.
"And the battleships need bauxite to move their cannons because of how much the cannons weigh?"
Samidare nodded sagely, patting Yuudachi on the crown of her head as the blonde destroyer took the chance to tuck in after seeing that her sisters were talking about what they learnt in boring lessons, the blue-hair Shiratsuyu-Class destroyer elaborating.
"In a way, yes.
Battleships need bauxite to not just start, but also stop the movements of their gargantuan cannons quickly and accurately as their cannons can only be fired from their riggings.
Without it, their cannons would lag due to high inertia, and the difference in two or three degrees in aim could mean hitting or missing a small island entirely."
Shigure nodded, opening her mouth to ingest the piece of bauxite as she felt the metallic taste of the refined aluminium ore upon biting down, noting out of the corner of her eye that her sister ships were smiling tensely, exercising tact in the classic Japanese way to make sure not to use potentially aggravating words and politely changing the subject in order to skirt around the issue and defuse the situation.
It was somewhat bothersome to see her sisters treat her like a delicate porcelain doll, as though she could be easily broken and had to handled with care, but in light of recent events and the sincerity in their concerned looks, it was understandable that they wouldn't want to say anything that would exacerbate her condition as they didn't know about the talk that she had with Akashi and Admiral Mako.
She felt the crunchy yet soft texture of the material as the bauxite material deformed and broke down inside her mouth, Shigure feeling rather thankful for their steel teeth that were significantly stronger than a human's, and were thus entirely capable of eating bauxite when humans would most likely be suffering from cracked teeth if asked to replicate their feats of eating metal on a daily basis.
Indeed, when one considered the sheer size of the large-caliber cannons compared to their paltry hand-cannons, Shigure could see the reason why the battleships needed bauxite to transmit a large amount of power into their riggings in order to accurately move their cannons around.
They couldn't manually move their cannons around like destroyers and cruisers could with their handheld cannons, and thus had to transmit immense power down their spines which was then transferred to their riggings that were coupled to the base of their spinal columns.
Like the carriers, eating more bauxite would help boost their signal transmitting abilities and help them to swivel their cannons around faster to hit enemies with potent evasive abilities, and since their neural networks were powered by bauxite and were integral to their performance on the battlefield, it almost justified the sheer amount of resources they needed to consume when compared to the less resource-intensive cruisers and destroyers.
But Yuudachi, after feeling her mind start to overload from listening to her sisters talk about facts that they had learnt in lessons, lessons which she sometimes slept through as they bored her, threw her hands up in order to change the subject and exclaimed out of concern for her sister ship.
"Maa, that's all irrelevant!
Shigure, why did you run back into the battlefield and die three days ago, Poi?!"
Two of her three sisters that were present temporarily froze, unsure of how to approach the subject since their blonde sister ship had thrown tact out of the window in order to directly ask Shigure about her death in the Battle of Mikura Jima Island, which was likely connected to her blood-stained past and was something which they were convinced was a sore point for Shigure.
Fortunately for them, Shigure had tried her best to put the disastrous battle behind her, sighing in relief as she gave them all a tired smile and explained herself.
"Well, I wanted to save my battleship teammates who had volunteered to stay behind and fend off the Flying Dutchman.
I didn't want this to end up like another Surigao Strait."
Yuudachi's face lit up upon learning the reason for Shigure's suicidal actions, but her eyebrows furrowed and her expression soon clouded over as it was obvious that she was trying to connect the dots in her mind in order to see the similarities between the two battles, her expression and mannerisms slowly but surely deflating as she eventually came to an understanding and uttered,
"Oh."
As Murasame gently bopped her on her head with one cheek puffed out, slightly miffed at Yuudachi's insensitive question.
Samidare placed her gloved hand over Shigure's left hand as she leaned to comfort her and tried to salvage the situation.
"Shigure, you don't need to feel obliged to share anything with us.
We understand if..."
But Shigure shook her head, trying her best to get through to her sisters that she was capable of moving on from her trauma, and despite her bloody past casting a long shadow over her, she wanted to make sure they understood that she wouldn't try to keep her emotions from her sister ships of all people, responding firmly as she placed her spoon on her porridge bowl and placed her right hand over Samidare's hand in order to turn the tables on them as she comforted Samidare.
"No.
I know that you all know about my past, and it's understandable that you'd be worried about me.
But I'd prefer it if you all expressed your concerns up front rather than try to skirt around the issue out of tact and be left wondering about how I'm doing whilst keeping silent."
Samidare leaned in to confirm Shigure's statement, her bright blue eyes reflecting the kind of concern that sister ship would instinctively show towards her siblings as Samidare asked in a mature tone.
"Are you sure, Shigure?
I mean, you went through a lot in the last war..."
"And the rest of you haven't?
I can't be so selfish as to say 'my pain is greater than your pain' and assume that all of you are incapable of understanding me and shut you all out without saying anything, right?
I'd prefer it if you were honest and upfront with me like Yuudachi was, rather than hurt yourselves trying to suppress your concerns out of 'politeness' and whatnot."
Samidare blinked upon hearing that as Shigure lifted a hand to pat the at-attention Yuudachi on the head, but Murasame piped up.
"But we're just worried that if we say the wrong things to you or dredge up bad memories, you may react negatively and push us away as a result.
Besides, is it wrong for us to try and respect your privacy by trying not to touch upon the various disastrous battles that you were in?"
Shigure turned to Murasame and gave her an easy smile as she reassured her sister.
"Well, if that were the case, I'd tell you all to leave a certain topic well alone beforehand.
But know that you're my sisters, and I'd certainly try my best to understand if you wanted to help me out by talking to me about topics that I'm not very comfortable with sharing in order to try and get to know me better and to get me to open up."
Shigure looked back down at the table and at her food tray as Yuudachi leaned in and rubbed shoulders with her to give her some moral support.
"This war is unpredictable, and no one can say for certain when any one of us might sink tomorrow.
I really wish that we can be a little more honest with each other, because I don't want any one us to move on while wondering how things could have been had we been a little more honest with each other and expressed our feelings a little more freely.
And if you have something to tell me, please don't keep me in suspense by saying 'I want to tell you something after this operation', because according to what I've learnt from the entertainment industry of the 21st century, that's a death flag and I'll be killed off.
Touch wood, but if I were to ever sink in battle, I really don't feel like spending my last moments obsessing over what you wanted to tell me."
Yuudachi then piped up, innocently asking about something.
"Maa, but when you say it like that, can we use it as bait to get you to fight harder in order to ensure that you come back and find out what we wanted to tell you, Poi?"
Shigure blinked a little, spotting Samidare trying to hide a knowing smirk and realized how she gave her sisters the bait needed to keep her alive, Shigure leaning over and playfully slapped a giggling Yuudachi on the head whilst shushing her, Murasame tilting her head back to think about Shigure's words before nodding in acceptance as Shigure took the chance to try and elaborate on how she wanted their relationship to be like.
"I really don't want to respond negatively to your concerns and flare up at you all in times like these, where your concern is the one thing that I need the most in times of crisis.
I understand that I'm the one sister ship who angsts a lot..."
Murasame and Yuudachi snickered upon hearing that as Samidare halfheartedly shushed them with a suppressed smirk, but they all kept quiet to allow Shigure to finish her sentence, the dark-haired Shiratsuyu-Class destroyer being extremely grateful for their thoughtfulness, sincerity and dedication.
"...but I never want you all to feel like I'm alienating you all simply because of my personality and past experiences, forcing you all to treat me with kid gloves and look at me like I'm a walking time-bomb or something.
I don't want you all to ever feel wary about approaching me."
Her smile waned as she looked down at Samidare's gloved hand, which was still placed reassuringly on her left hand as she explained herself to her sisters.
"And besides, I think that as my sisters, you all have a right to know how I'm feeling at all times.
It's something that I'd ask you all should something happen to any one of you, and I understand that I have to practice what I preach by honestly expressing my woes and thoughts to those who are closest to me, namely my sisters."
Samidare's expression softened, her furrowed brows relaxing to show her benign smile as she gently held Shigure's hand and reminded her that they would always be there for her, and that they would respect her decision to keep certain things to herself.
"Of course, Shigure.
But remember that you don't have to tell us everything, and if you feel that it's too difficult or traumatizing to tell us something..."
Shigure looked back at her again, returning the warm smile to show that she truly understood her intentions, and then looking down as she elaborated more about the Battle of Mikura Jima Island.
"Well, I was told by Akashi that I should have run instead of sailing back into the battle, where my lack of training and traumatic flashbacks would only serve to hinder everyone and paint myself as an easy target.
And I think this needs to be said, so I shall simply say that the incident where Hiei and Haruna protected us from the Dutchman was what temporarily drove me over the edge and made me jump back into the fray."
Her sisters were all silent, their smiles now wiped off their faces as they listened to the luckiest and quietest of the Shiratsuyu-Class, understanding that this was a rare occasion where Shigure was taking the initiative to express how she felt whilst experiencing the worst moment of her life thus far.
"Akashi said to my face that it was a stupid move, because sacrificing myself back then was a pathetic attempt on my part to absolve myself of the guilt that I felt.
Looking back at my own actions, I have to agree that it was rather silly of me to rush in without any plan whatsoever."
Murasame came to her defense as she commented, understanding the fact that traumas were extremely powerful mental driving forces that could cause unpredictable responses in different people.
"Well, that's not exactly your fault now, is it?
You weren't in your right mind, and your actions were a result of you wanting to prevent Hiei and Haruna's sinking at all costs, like...
You know..."
Murasame looked away as she muttered in order to finish her sentence, as though she believed that the decrease in volume would change anything.
"... Fusou and Yamashiro."
Shigure gave Murasame an aside glance before nodding and commenting about her current status.
"Well, she did say that she understood my reasons for acting out like I did, and that's the reason why I'm not suspended from duty due to either insubordination or concern over my mental health.
And besides..."
Shigure looked towards her sisters, shifting in her seat and swiveling her head so that she could see them all as she revealed to them her most important reason for staying alive, those reasons currently being seated around her.
"She told me that I had all of you with me here, and that's all the reason I need to keep fighting on.
And I now know that I nearly made one of the greatest mistakes one can do, and almost inflicted the same pain and loneliness that I felt onto you all.
And I vowed, never again."
Samidare and Murasame seemed extremely relieved upon hearing this, the former ship girl inhaling deeply as she straightened up and allowed a smile to grace her concerned face while Murasame exhaled in relief and allowed herself to unwind by stretching her arms, Yuudachi choosing to respond with a genuine smile as she heartily slapped Shigure on the back and chirped.
"Maa, it's good to know that you'll be taking your own life a little more seriously out there, Shigure!"
But Yuudachi was strangely the one who chose to give Shigure her opinion on things, her smile relaxing as she regarded Shigure seriously before speaking her mind.
"But Shigure, I really don't want you to feel as though you have to shoulder the burden alone and try too hard.
I know that we may have had different experiences in the night, where I shined and excelled while you, well...
You're like, the opposite of me in the night, Poi?"
Shigure nodded, feeling interested in what her beloved sister had to say, seeing that she chose to compare how the both of them had a love-hate relationship with the night, with Shigure being somewhere on the 'hate' end while Yuudachi was firmly on the 'love' end of the spectrum.
Yuudachi was sitting next to Shigure, so they were able to shift their bodies around to lock gazes with each other, Yuudachi expressing her own opinion on things as she took hold of Shigure's right hand and continued.
"You don't have to feel as though you have to try too hard to overcome your trauma too quickly.
You see..."
Yuudachi leaned in towards Shigure, now commanding the dark-haired destroyer's full attention as she explained.
"In light of recent events like the Flying Dutchman owning the Combined Fleet, I understand if you want to try even harder to improve yourself and want to overcome your fear of the night, which stems with your history with Surigao Strait in order to eliminate your glaring weakness.
But know that Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder isn't something that can be 'cured' or 'eliminated' like this, and you should never feel like you have to tackle this issue alone when you have the support of your fleet and sister ships.
And I know, like I said, I've never been through what you've been through, so I may not have the right to say this..."
Yuudachi's eyes drifted away upon uttering this sentence, but Shigure surprised even herself as she gently shook off Samidare's hand in order to clasp Yuudachi's hand as her eyes hardened, reiterating.
"No.
I never want to you to feel as if there's anything you can't talk to me about for whatever reason.
You and I may be as different as night and day, but know that I love you regardless."
Yuudachi broke out into a relieved smile as she exhaled and continued,
"Please do not ever feel as though you need to improve yourself at a pace that exceeds what you can handle physically or mentally.
Your friends will also strive to improve along with you, and will be more than willing to help you in the recovery process in order to come to terms with your trauma.
You'll arguably be spending more time with them than with us, but know that I'll also be training myself up to become stronger in order to protect you in the dark, Shigure."
Shigure smiled upon hearing that, the both of them gently clasping their hands together in a sister-like manner as Murasame, upon seeing her two sisters become closer to each other, rolled her eyes non-derisively as she commented in a good humored manner.
"Wow, I've heard of opposites attracting, but I think this may a little too much.
I mean, the two of you couldn't be more different, and yet are so close to each other."
Yuudachi puffed her cheeks out, now becoming a little overprotective of their relationship as she released her hands in order to hug her affectionately, huffing rebelliously.
"Oh yeah?
How so, Poi?"
Murasame dryly pointed out how Shigure and Yuudachi were like night and day as Samidare took the time to tuck in before their porridge got cold, Shigure attempting to do the same but was stuck firmly in Yuudachi's embrace.
"Well, for starters, Yuudachi, you like the night but possess blonde hair and an extroverted personality.
Shigure prefers the day while possessing black hair and is quite the introvert, and one would think that our makers would think to try and rectify the dichotomy between you two."
Samidare added after seeing Yuudachi and Shigure so close together and possessed certain qualities that reminded her of two celestial objects that symbolized the day and night and only served to highlight the dichotomy between them.
"Well, when you consider the fact that Yuudachi's as vibrant as the sun while Shigure's personality is as quiet and as subdued as the night, it only seems natural to assume that Yuudachi would like the day, and Shigure the night.
But Yuudachi's nickname as the Nightmare of Solomon is a result of her brilliance in the nighttime, and as night battle is destined to be her forte, it would certainly seem that she is an agent of darkness.
Shigure looks like the kind of ship girl that, despite excelling in night battles, prefers to fight in the daytime where she feels safe, so..."
Yuudachi's puffed her cheeks out, tightening her grip around Shigure as she was quietly eating her food and almost caused her to drop a piece of fish on her lap, hearing Yuudachi pout about how their sisters were overthinking things.
"Maa, day or night, I don't really care!
I'll be sure to train myself up to the point where I can protect myself in battle anytime, any-day, Shigure!"
Shigure swallowed her food, but was interested in what her sister ship had to say as she craned her neck so that she could look Yuudachi in the eye, seeing the dogged and resolute determination in her eyes.
"I don't want you to think that I'm incapable of protecting myself, despite not currently possessing a Kai remodel.
So how about we both aim to attain our Kai Ni and develop our full potential, Poi?"
Shigure smiled in agreement, but Samidare interjected with a small warning in order to remind them that safety came first.
"Yes, girls.
But remember, Yuudachi, you need to stay safe, alright?"
Murasame nodded while taking on a slightly sarcastic yet benevolent tone as she added.
"Yeah, kinda defeats the point if you risk your own life to get stronger, but fail to protect yourself in battle as a result."
Shigure nodded as she finished her dinner and lowered her spoon, looking around at her sisters and appreciating the amount of concern they all showed towards her, thankful that she had sister ships to share her woes with.
A shadow loomed behind her and she turned around whilst noting the surprise that overtook the expressions of her sisters, finding herself looking at a metallic box with a smiling face emoji on it as it stared back at her at eye level.
Shigure looked up to see Shimakaze standing over her, her expression dead-serious as she looked at her with a mix of complicated emotions, Shigure managing to discern agony, relief, remembrance and certain internal conflicts about something or another within her through her gaze, the skimpily-dressed destroyer speaking up.
"Looks like you're still kicking, huh?"
Shigure smiled and cheekily replied whilst meeting Shimakaze's gaze.
"Well, I certainly wouldn't want my sisters and friends to feel lonely without me."
Shimakaze's eyes widened a little before narrowing upon hearing Shigure utter that sentence, and Shigure could see that the destroyer revealed a moment of surprise and pain in her eyes, barely perceptible and was quickly covered up, but was still picked up by her nonetheless.
Her mind started wandering, wondering what sort of ship girl she would deem close enough to be akin to a sister, going through her list of possible candidates before remembering the one other ship that her past captain, Captain Tameichi Hara, had captained during the war.
Amatsukaze.
Member of the Kagerou-Class of destroyers and was related to Shimakaze in that her design was used as a template in order to create Shimakaze, and just like that, Shimakaze must have seen the Kagerou-Class destroyer as a sibling of sorts out of sheer loneliness due to being one of a kind, and Shigure's eyes also narrowed, starting to understand why Shimakaze was here.
Indeed, the Shimakaze-Class destroyer held her three Rensouhou-chan close to her, a natural reaction as they were her close companions, the cuboid turrets silently waving their arms at the rest of the Shiratsuyu-Class destroyers as Shimakaze explained herself.
"Well, I wouldn't want you to sink before I can get to have my rematch with you.
And besides..."
Shimakaze's eyes softened as she looked down at the floor, and Shigure could see the pain and worry in her eyes as she finished her sentence.
"I wanted to share my secret with you after I prepared myself mentally, but when I heard that you died in battle..."
Shigure inhaled as she connected the dots in her mind, speculating on the fast destroyer's thought processes and could see that it wasn't out of the question for the destroyer to see her as a very special friend, since Shigure was a newcomer and didn't know about anyone's pasts.
Because of her newly crafted status, Shigure had a special privilege in this base where her ignorance, in this case, was an unorthodox advantage as she could safely ask them about them about their pasts.
They had to enlighten her lest they make themselves look rather standoffish, and in a society like Japan, almost no one wanted to make themselves look bad in the eyes of what was essentially a child.
Shigure's promise with her meant that Shimakaze could prepare herself mentally in order to share her past with Shigure at her own pace, and allow the Shiratsuyu-Class destroyer to get closer to her as a friend and help her start recovering.
But that promise meant nothing if she was at the bottom of the ocean like Amatsukaze and left Shimakaze alone.
Her sisters were now respectfully silent as were Shimakaze's three Rensouhou-chan, understanding that whatever went on between them stayed between them as Shigure asked.
"I assume that you're here because you're ready to tell me everything?"
Shimakaze solemnly nodded, looking away and shifting on the spot as she tried to determine a time and place for them to meet.
"I want to get this off my chest and honor the promise between us before you go on your next death-defying sortie.
Knowing you, you'll be recklessly training yourself up by participating in more and more sorties, and I'd rather tell you everything now than take my chances and delay it any more than I have to.
I'll meet you tomorrow, and-"
"No.
We'll go tonight."
Everyone surrounding swiveled their heads around to stare at her, Shimakaze looking rather surprised by this turn of events as Shigure looked up at the Shimakaze-Class destroyer and explained herself.
"I'm sorry.
But like you said, I'll be busy starting tomorrow."
Her gaze turned into one that seeked the acceptance of others, her gait softening as she pleaded.
"Please understand, I'm a newly crafted destroyer who has a lot to catch up on.
If I'm to be a member of the active roster of ship girls, then I need to close the gap in terms of experience by going on more sorties."
Shimakaze blinked, taking a very deep breath and allowing her chest to swell before deflating, finally scratching the back of her blonde hair and bluntly instructing.
"Alright then.
Finish your dinner, and meet me outside.
Be quick about it, because we'll be taking a hike to the base's graveyard."
Shimakaze led Shigure up the mountain where they had previously raced, having left her Rensouhou-Chan all behind with Houshou who had wordlessly understood Shimakaze's intentions and accepted her request without any fuss.
It was nighttime, and the trees that surrounded Shigure and Shimakaze stood silently at a distance and kept silent in the presence of the two destroyers as they walked up the path that led up the hill of the Yokosuka Naval Base, which led to the graveyard that was located in the small forest located on the outskirts of the base.
It was still located within the base and was available to those who wanted to pay their respects, but was located in a location where their tombstones would be shielded from the elements by the tall and immovable trees that formed a defensive perimeter and kept vigil over them, even in death.
The trees provided ample cover from the weather at the expense of the forest air being rather humid and thick along with the musky smell of the forest, and the fact that it was nighttime didn't help matters much as the forest looked menacing with its tall trees overshadowing them and blotting out the moon and stars.
There were crickets chirping and leaves rustling, but the darkness that overshadowed them for the majority of the journey only served to unnerve Shigure, the Shiratsuyu-Class destroyer trying to regulate her breathing and control her heartbeat as she scanned her surroundings nervously.
In light of recent traumatizing events, Shigure told herself that there was nothing to fear despite understanding the cause of this irrational terror, Shimakaze picking up on her fear and anxiety as well as the beads of sweat rolling down her face as she stopped beneath a steel lamppost and turned to ask.
"Are you alright, Shigure?
You don't look too good..."
Shigure nodded a little too quickly, swallowing as she took the time to catch her breath and stabilize her heartbeat, having finished her dinner and really didn't wish to throw up while in the company of another ship girl, replying weakly.
"I'm alright.
It's just that, you know...
The Flying Dutchman and everything..."
Shimakaze's eyes widened and she lowered her head apologetically, but kept her voice steady as she tried to comfort the Shiratsuyu-Class destroyer.
"Don't worry.
You do know that we're safe on land, right?"
Shimakaze sighed and scratched her head, trying to make things easier for the dark-haired destroyer that had been through quite a lot in the past week, suggesting.
"How about we get this over with and head back?
I want to tell you everything, but if you're still experiencing the fallout of Mikura Jima Island, I can-"
"No."
Shigure gulped, and she raised her hand to clench at the uniform that covered her chest as she steeled her gaze and looked up, the street light that shone down on her casting a shadow over her face and further drove home the point that she was serious about this.
"Let's go."
Shimakaze raised an eyebrow at Shigure's stubbornness, but turned without looking back and continued their little trek.
They walked off the main path and onto an unremarkable dirt path after 10 minutes of brisk walking, the compressed earth flanked by rows of overgrown grass after ship girls walked on this very path and cleared it of vegetation long ago.
Her regular exercises and training paid off as she kept her breathing and pulse steady, focusing on the destroyer before her as she tuned out the ever-present darkness, appreciating Shimakaze's silent company and wondering just what had to happen to Amatsukaze to make her turn out this way.
Following the dirt path for another two minutes led the both of them into a clearing that was devoid of trees and was only populated by a field of grass, where she now overlooked the eight tombstones that sat above recently mowed grass, Shigure immediately noting upon arrival that the trees had been trimmed so as to keep the environment neat and presentable.
This was quite the location, Shigure failing to detect significant environmental disturbances here which meant that the tombstones would be well-protected during storms or periods of strong winds, Shigure fanning herself with her school uniform to keep herself cool due to the lack of wind so far into the woods while in the midst of the summer season.
The musky and humid air made her uniform cling onto her skin as she ignored all that in order to observe the arranged tombstones that were illuminated by the moon, which was thankfully peeking over the tip of the barrier of trees to their right to provide some light.
The tombstones weren't anything special, being made of some of tough rock material, likely granite if the grey color of the tombstone was anything to go by, and were shaped in a machine-cut anchor that was placed upright, the stone support at the base diligently propping it up.
Their names were cut into the material of a metal nameplate that was then stuck to the base, with their name in Kanji and Hiragana for clarification purposes, a small glass bottle filled with water and white lilies in front of each tombstone.
And boy, there were quite a few tombstones that were lined up here.
Even if Yokosuka did lose comparatively fewer ship girls when compared to other bases, something that was already considered impressive due to the sheer number of ship girls stationed here, Shigure was despondent to find out that there were still quite a number of casualties in Yokosuka.
The tombstones read,
'Lebe (Z1)',
'Yuubari',
'Sakawa',
'Amatsukaze',
'Taihou',
'Katori',
'Nenohi'.
She recalled a few of the harrowing stories of sunken comrades after inquiring about the relevant information from her sisters and comrades, when they started talking about a ship girl in the past tense and she simply had to ask what happened lest she be left out of the loop.
Sakawa.
An Agano-Class light cruiser that was crafted via Large Ship Construction, and she was one of two Japanese warships that were sent over to America to participate in Operations Crossroads, the second being Nagato.
Understandable then, that the Nagato-Class battleship would be protective of her in this life, being a surrogate big sister to her as Yahagi hadn't been crafted then, and the battleship wanted nothing more than for Sakawa to be safe.
Unfortunately, sentiment alone wasn't able to shield her from a round fired from the cannon of the dreaded Armored Carrier Princess, which punched clean through her chest and left a gaping hole where her human heart was supposed to be.
She dropped dead on the spot, having the section of the spine behind her heart shot out and losing control of her boat slippers and sinking before anyone could get to her in time.
Nagato had grieved over that loss, and Admiral Mako had tried her best to console the sullen battleship, kept her company and gave her some time off.
Shigure looked at the next tombstone, not having gotten the entire situation of some of their deaths and skipping some of them after saying a quick prayer in her mind.
Katori.
A training cruiser that was not created to fight, but rather to teach the ship girls about combat tactics and the world at large, managing to also serve as the intermediary between the past and the present to any ship girls who took a longer time to adjust to the 21st century.
She held off a fleet of chasing Abyssal light carriers, light cruisers and destroyers in order to ensure the safe retreat of the accompanying 6th Fleet who was out on a training session that had quickly gone south as an Abyssal Fleet ambushed them prior to the resulting chase.
Some say that the 6th Fleet, having retained most of its members after the fleet shuffling, still try their best to sortie in a five-ship fleet and keep the sixth member slot free out of respect for the training cruiser's training and sacrifice that had paid off in producing some of the strongest carriers in the Yokosuka Naval Base.
Taihou had sunk off of the coast of Sri Lanka in a manner that was quite gruesome due to how she suffered before she sank.
A stray cannon round had struck her in the knee and disabled her movement to a large extent, and a damaged Abyssal Ha-Class destroyer got the twisted idea to attempt to take Taihou down in a kamikaze-style attack as it swam up while underwater, propelled itself out of the sea and rammed itself into the armored carrier's stomach as it detonated its torpedo at point-blank range, effectively sacrificing itself in an attempt to take down a superior opponent.
The Abyssal's gamble succeeded as the armored carrier was immolated after having a large chunk of her stomach blown out and her body was unable to shut off the burning fuel valves in time, leaving her to effectively burn to death from the inside out as the armored carrier was reportedly screaming the entire while.
And it was a small mercy that she had eventually exploded from the various smaller fuel reserves in her body causing an extreme buildup in internal pressure that led to the considerably large fireball that blinded nearby allies and enemies as it annihilated her body and cut her suffering short.
And as Shigure shifted her eyes to look at the tombstone of Amatsukaze, she was reminded of her own mortality despite being a lucky ship.
Her past captain was Captain Tameichi Hara, the only IJN destroyer captain to survive the war, and he had captained Amatsukaze for the majority of his naval career before becoming her captain, Shigure remembering her experience with the seasoned captain as he led her through some of the harshest battles of her career.
Perhaps it was because of this fact that they shared the same captain for the majority of the war that somehow meant to her that she had some sort of unspoken bond with Amatsukaze and by extension, Shimakaze, and was also a reason why Akashi had strongly suggested that she be the one to help Shimakaze through her loss.
The stars had really aligned in her favor for this to work out in her favor, Shigure still being a little skeptical of just how powerful her luck was to ensure that she, a ship girl who shared a captain with Amatsukaze, was introduced into this world and was sent to Yokosuka, of all places, to be able to connect with Shimakaze, who just so happened to lose Amatsukaze and was currently grieving.
Still, if she was sure of something, it was that the Kagerou-Class destroyer had left this world too soon, and that left Shimakaze all alone.
She took a deep breath as she closed her eyes, taking in the environment and allowing herself to enjoy the silence of the forest, tuning out the background noise as she steadied her pulse and contemplated the mortality of the ship girl.
Shigure reveled in the silence as she took the time to appreciate what the deeds of the dead, and how some had accepted the ultimate sacrifice in order to ensure the survival of others, while others had unfortunately fallen in the line of duty.
It was strange, seeing that her life was plagued with death and comrades who fell like flies around her and how she had cried for them numerous times in the past.
And now that she was here in a place that remembered the dead, she expected to feel some sort of emotional outburst or overwhelming sadness after having arrived here.
Nope.
She felt absolutely calm here, almost soaking in the air that almost seemed plagued by a miasma of tranquil death as she had her eyes closed and contemplated on the world and the comrades that she will never get to know.
It was perhaps because they all died or sank at sea and their bodies were either unrecoverable even with the help of submarines, or their bodies were too damaged where it really mattered to even consider repairing them, that their physical bodies were likely not here and these tombstones only served as a reminder of who had perished.
Perhaps it was a sign that some of them had died at sea and returned to the dark embrace of the sea that strangely put her mind at ease, Shigure hoping against hope that no one else would have to join this queue of tombstones in death, acknowledging the futility and silliness of such an impossible wish and hoping for it anyway, vowing to get stronger to hopefully prevent a fellow ship girl from sinking.
Shimakaze, who had been silent the entire time as she stared at Amatsukaze's tombstone, spoke up in an unnaturally meek voice, the words causing Shigure to freeze up in surprise.
"I caused her death."
Shigure was reviewing Shimakaze's memory, a function that was available to them and allowed them to share knowledge quickly by transferring and relieving each other's memories.
She was now coming up on a small clearing that had well maintained plots of land as the various erected tombstones barely peeked out at the end of the road, much like what she had seen on her own trek into the forest as Shimakaze likely cut to the important part in order to keep things short and in focus.
But Shimakaze noticed a white-jacket-and-cap-wearing woman at the graveyard and was sitting on the grass and doing something, the Shimakaze-Class destroyer breaking out into a run to meet her Admiral at the tombstone of Amatsukaze, clearly a new addition as her tombstone didn't possess the wear and tear as well as the minute cracks that plagued the other tombstones.
Admiral Mako noticed the fast destroyer approaching her, raising her left index finger to her mouth as she turned to face the approaching Shimakaze while still seated.
Shimakaze, barely panting even after finishing the fast run in order to reach Admiral Mako, whispered to the Admiral while respecting her wishes to try and keep her volume low.
"Admiral, what're you doing here?"
Admiral Mako took off her jacket and officer's cap to fan herself even though it was still early in the day, revealing a white tank top and black exercise bra.
The Admiral removed her Admiral's blazer to use as a makeshift picnic blanket for Shimakaze to sit on, setting it down and patting it as an invitation, causing Shimakaze to visibly cringe at how little Admiral Mako cared about everything else in trying to make things more comfortable for her girls.
After some hesitation, Shimakaze reluctantly sat down on her commander's blazer that was now strewn on the grass surface, Mako smiling down at the fact that her ship girl wouldn't get her miniskirt dirty.
Admiral Mako then piped up with an answer to Shimakaze's question, remarking.
"I come here sometimes to pay my respects to the ship girls who died in the line of duty.
I feel that I can't leave them behind just because they're gone, you know?"
Jabbing her thumb at the white lilies resting in front of the individual tombstones, she noted.
"I also come here to replace those every now and then.
Makes me feel as if I can still do something for them…"
Admiral Mako looked away, her eyes becoming distant and morose as she remembered them, but Shimakaze tried to speak up in her favor.
"B-But, it's not your fault!
You can't guarantee our safety out there on the battlefield, even after you've accounted for every factor.
No amount of preparation can stop a cannon round from carving a hole into our heads, instantly sinking us."
Shimakaze cringed at her own gruesome description of a ship girl sinking, but Admiral Mako shook her head tiredly, her hair somewhat of a mess as her bangs covered her depressed eyes, remarking.
"Yeah, but as a leader who's responsible for you all, I still feel that it's partially my fault that I caused Amatsukaze to sink…"
Shimakaze clenched her fists, gritting her teeth and trying to calm herself down before trying to clear something up with the Admiral.
"It's not your fault that Amatsukaze sank.
It was mine."
Admiral Mako shot Shimakaze a glance, and Shimakaze lowered her gaze as she started to feel as though she didn't deserve to meet her Admiral's gaze, an uncomfortable lump starting to form in her throat.
"I-I…"
Shimakaze was struggling to get the words out to try and explain things to her Admiral, and she couldn't simply share her memory file with the Admiral as she was a human, which meant that she had to verbally communicate to her what happened between them.
"You know that Amatsukaze and I often race together, both on land and on sea, right?"
Admiral Mako nodded, as Shimakaze continued talking about what happened before the fateful sortie.
"Well, this one time before a sortie, we raced, and being a fast ship girl, I always won against Amatsukaze.
But I recently felt that she had been holding back against me the entire time, and I pressured her to try and go all-out against me.
A-And the thing was that…"
Shimakaze was conflicted as she tried to admit the next statement.
"I lost."
Admiral Mako raised an eyebrow at that, but was silent as she listened to Shimakaze continue on, Shimakaze starting to feel uneasy and regretful over the next course of action that she took after she lost.
"I, umm…
Back then, I had never lost before and couldn't handle the thought of losing, and I didn't take the loss very well as I shouted at her and accused her of being a cheater.
A-And I know that I shouldn't have done that, bu-but…"
Shimakaze was trying her best to hold in her tears as Shimakaze's sight blurred, Admiral Mako shifting on the spot in order to sit next to Shimakaze as she put an arm over Shimakaze's slouching shoulders.
Shimakaze was trying her best not to sob as she continued.
"I kept on trying to have a rematch with her, but she tried not to make the situation worse and declined every time.
It was until that time when Yukikaze wasn't feeling well, and Amatsukaze was chosen to be the replacement in the sortie where she sank."
Admiral Mako interrupted Shimakaze at this point and pointed out.
"See, there's the problem.
If I had chosen anyone else for the job, maybe a heavy cruiser or even a light cruiser to do the job instead of Amatsukaze, then you wouldn't have been left alone.
And just like how you blame yourself for Amatsukaze's death, I feel that having played a role in Amatsukaze's death, I should also have the right to blame myself."
Now full-on hugging a crying Shimakaze, she whispered.
"And if you want me to stop blaming myself, I can only say this.
That's only going to happen when you stop blaming yourself.
I'm not leaving you alone in this cycle of self-condemnation and self-loathing."
Shimakaze, still valiantly trying to muffle her sobs, now had tears streaming down her cheeks as she continued.
"Th-The Abyssals got the jump on us, as you probably know from the After-Action Report…
I was trying to go faster than I usually did in order to prove to Amatsukaze that I was stronger and faster than her, and I think I must have tripped as my boat slipper hit a wave at the wrong angle, because I fell flat on my face.
As I was trying to get up, there were three torpedoes headed right for me, and before I could try to dodge, Amatsukaze used her extreme-speed to position herself in front of me and took the two torpedoes, as I curled up in a fetal position to avoid the third."
Shimakaze was starting to shiver from the fright of simply remembering the sight of her cousin ship after using herself as a human shield.
But she continued, trying to explain everything to her Admiral as Admiral Mako cringed at the thought of a child desperately throwing herself so selflessly in front of certain death to protect a sibling from harm.
"A-A…
And when I dared to look up, I saw that Amatsukaze…
She didn't have her legs anymore…
The explosion of the torpedo blew off everything below her knees, and she was looking at me with a look, as if she was glad.
A-and she said to me… "
Shimakaze broke down in tears at this point, now letting out her grief and guilt pour out of her as she sobbed hysterically into her gloved palms, Admiral Mako using her arm slung over Shimakaze's shoulder to hug her tighter.
"She told me,
'You're not hurt…
That's great.'
An Abyssal then surfaced behind her, the Ri-Class heavy cruiser pointing all her cannons at us…
Amatsukaze somehow used her body weight to throw herself in front of me again, this time the cannons blowing off one of her arms.
My Rensouhou-Chan all did their best to try and fend off their Ri-Class as they emptied their cannons, but to no avail.
The blood flowing from Amatsukaze's limbs were like geysers, spraying on my uniform as she tried to use her body to shield me against the incoming Abyssals that had surfaced and were headed in our direction.
I had to retreat as more and more Abyssals gathered around Amatsukaze and emptied their cannons into her body.
And the worst thing was…"
Shimakaze's tears didn't stop flowing, but she was now sobbing less as she reached the end of sadness, and was strafing dangerously close into despair as she remembered the most haunting detail about that moment.
"And the entire time they did that, they used their weaker cannons, like the Small Caliber 5 Inch Dual Guns to amputate her last limb and weaken her as they immediately dragged her down into the depths as they submerged.
But looking back on the memory, I was sure that they did their best not to kill her, as if they wanted to capture her alive, and amputating her simply made transporting her easier.
She was conscious the entire time, screaming for me to get away from the Abyssals clustering around her, and even after we were a safe distance away, she was still screaming in pain from the point-blank cannon fire.
And I…
I DID NOTHING TO STOP THEM!
I RAN LIKE A COWARD!"
Shimakaze cried into her Admiral's shoulders as she sobbed hysterically, Admiral Mako now speechless and unsure of how to try and help her girls this time.
Shigure shuddered upon reviewing the memory, and tried her best to look Shimakaze in the eye.
Shimakaze looked away from her, visibly disgusted at herself as she commented on her cowardly ways whilst staring at Amatsukaze's tombstone with dead, grieving eyes and stated.
"I was a coward, and my speed was only useful in helping me run away like one, despite my best efforts.
And I wanted the Admiral to punish me, to suspend me or even scrap me…
But she didn't do any of that, which infuriated me even more at the time.
I kept thinking that I deserved any punishment that the Admiral meted out, but she didn't do any of that as she told me that punishing myself mentally was torturous enough.
Everyone wasn't sure of how to try and comfort me because I didn't have siblings to rely on, and slowly, I pretended to recover in order to try and get everyone off of my back, and it worked for the most part.
I knew that everyone meant well, but everyone had sister ships to share their sorrows with, and that's something I'll never be able to empathize with, being the lone ship girl of my class.
But Admiral Mako could only offer her shoulder to cry on, which was what I really needed at that time.
If it wasn't for her, I think I might have turned out even worse than how I am right now…"
Shigure looked at the flowers, applauding the Admiral for taking the time out of her schedule to come here and replace these flowers in order to show her sincerity, since the white lilies were a healthy color and didn't look as if they were going to wilt anytime soon.
But something else that Shigure noted were the deep footprints on the grass and the dirt path that connected the clearing to the main road of the hill, and how they led to Sakawa and Lebe's tombstones.
Estimating the weight and the amount of pressure that had to be exerted in order to leave footprints that sank into the dirt and couldn't be easily washed away by the rain and seasons, Shigure deduced that those footprints were likely left by battleships, who had the highest weight displacement and figured that Nagato and Bismarck would be the ones to visit the two graves, since they were closely related to them due to their pasts or nationalities respectively.
But back to the present.
Having had an epiphany regarding what she was really living and fighting for, she now understood why Amatsukaze was so driven to protect Shimakaze despite their last race leaving them on bitter terms, and had allowed the Shimakaze-Class destroyer to safely escape at the cost of her own life.
It was almost admirable in a sense, Shigure closing her eyes and lowering her head out of respect for all the ship girls present as she raised her arms in order to bring her palms together and pray for them, hoping that whatever afterlife they ended up in was a better world than their current one.
And eventually, Shimakaze followed suit, raising her arms and bringing her hands together as she slowly closed her eyes and lowered her head respectfully, Shigure feeling her heart break a little as she heard the destroyer try to hold back a sob.
After about ten seconds of silence save for the barely-perceptible rustling of the trees and the passive chirping of the crickets that helped to fill the silence between them and hung over the graveyard like a miasma, they both opened their eyes and lowered their arms to stand before the tombstones, Shigure now at a loss as to what she was supposed to do in order to help Shimakaze from here on out.
But she heard something being uttered by the silent destroyer beside her.
"Don't..."
Shigure gave the Shimakaze-Class destroyer an an aside glance, wondering what she was talking about as she hadn't finished her sentence, and took it upon herself to ask for some clarification.
"I'm sorry.
Don't what, Shimakaze-san?"
The scantily-clad destroyer was looking at the tombstone of the sunk Amatsukaze, her expression unusually sullen and brooding as she requested in a meek voice.
"...Don't die.
Don't sink.
Please."
Shigure's eyes widened upon hearing that, before narrowing in realization as she smiled and answered in a similarly quiet voice in order not to disturb the tranquil atmosphere that permeated the graveyard, her voice firm yet gentle as she reassured the grieving destroyer.
"Of course."
Tenryuu was sitting in the hospital cafeteria, having bought herself her a microwavable dinner that was soon thrown in the microwave as she cranked up the temperature in order to preheat and eat it in the silent and empty cafeteria, since no one liked staying in a place of death like this at this hour.
She was planning to stay overnight in order to wait for Tatsuta to wake up, and wanted to be there the second she opened her eyes in order to apologize to her for allowing her to be injured and killed in the line of duty, and even got permission from the Admiral to allow her to stay in the hospital after visiting hours.
She savored the bland taste of macaroni along with the piping hot sauce that felt as if it were simply thrown in as an appetizer to help her swallow her meal along with the side meal of meatballs for some variety, now regretting not choosing to change out of her tattered uniform as it no longer seemed to be the best course of action, the frigid air of the sterilized hospital tickling her bare skin and caused her to shiver a little.
She felt rather tired after the Battle of Mikura Jima Island, and knew that everyone around the world had already heard of the disastrous sortie and the appearance of the Flying Dutchman, and Tenryuu shivered a little after recounting how they were mowed down almost immediately after it appeared.
The life-sized large-caliber cannons that, if Shigure's memories were anything to go by, blew Wakaba's upper half clean off before she could react, and Kinugasa disappearing after Tenryuu was there to witness the Aoba-Class heavy cruiser get struck down by a descending missile.
Hiei and Junyou also got pretty messed up in that last battle, the light cruiser recalling Akashi saying to her face that she wasn't going to sortie with the 1st Fleet anytime soon while Hiei was recovering from her injuries and Junyou, her blindness.
And then there was Tatsuta, who pushed her out of the way and used her own body as a shield before they were caught in the blast radius of another descending missile that was headed their way, Tenryuu being forced to hear Tatsuta's valiant attempts to muffle her grunts and weathered the pain of being roasted from the inside and outside...
Tenryuu felt sick in her stomach, instantly regretting recalling these grisly details as she felt her appetite leave her and her stomach threaten to regurgitate the food that she had previously ingested, the Tenryuu-Class light cruiser dropping her plastic utensils and shoving her unfinished food aside.
She then heard a pair of barely-audible footsteps get louder as it strode down the corridor, Tenryuu surmising that it was definitely not a battleship or carrier, as this ship girl sounded too light to be from either class.
The footsteps were getting closer, increasing in volume ever so slightly with each step as she prepared herself who whoever it may be, finally turning around and seeing a black cape draped over the shoulder of a certain torpedo cruiser, white beret in hand as Kiso appeared in the cafeteria.
Tenryuu blinked, but was quick to recover as she recognized her long-time friend and proclaimed rival, although she was under no illusion that the torpedo cruiser, being one of the seniors of this base, was perfectly capable of killing her without breaking a sweat should she ever get serious.
And perhaps that was why she admired the torpedo cruiser in secret, often hearing of her exploits and the enemies she had felled over the course of nine years and trying her best to train herself up so that she could achieve that level of strength.
Oh, make no mistake.
She certainly knew that the torpedo cruiser was taking it easy on her in their sparring sessions, often seeing how she subtly controlled the amount of strength she put behind her own blade so as not to simply overpower and bisect her.
Tatsuta'd probably slit Kiso's throat in her own bed should that ever happen.
But ever since she matured a little and had tried to strike out on her own, it seemed as though the manner in which Kiso treated her had also changed ever so slightly, like right now, where the Kuma-Class ship girl looked as if she were consoling a friend, and not a child like she did for Tenryuu in the past.
They both nodded at each other to acknowledge each other's presence, and Kiso, noticing Tenryuu's unfinished microwavable food on her left, sat herself down on Tenryuu's right, putting her beret down on the table before asking.
"Planning to stay here until Tatsuta wakes up?"
Tenryuu nodded, looking down at the milk-white cafeteria table as she crossed her arms and leaned back determinedly and expressed herself.
"I'm not going to leave the hospital and let Tatsuta wake up alone when I'm the one who caused her death in the first place."
Kiso raised an eyebrow as she gave the Tenryuu-Class light cruiser a quick scan from head to toe, stating disbelievingly.
"Not like that, you aren't."
Tenryuu balked at that insinuation, jerking her head over to halfheartedly glare at Kiso as she shot back a retort.
"I'm.
Not.
Moving."
Kiso sighed, Tenryuu recognizing that her gaze was reverting to that of the patient gaze that she used to regard Tenryuu back when she was fully immersed in her chuunibyou phrase and when Kiso had looked at her kindly, but without any weight behind her gaze, currently looking as if she was mentally preparing herself to point out the errors of a course of action to a child as she settled down in her seat.
Tenryuu looked away, feeling that she was in the right and that Kiso, even if she was her senior and was far more mature than she could ever hope to be, she was wrong and Tenryuu was right.
Tatsuta was killed because of her, and she had a responsibility as her older sister to be there for her and be by her side when she woke up, right?
Right?
Kiso opened her mouth to speak, her voice gently reverberating throughout the cafeteria with its empty food stalls and unoccupied steel seats and tables, the torpedo cruiser looking at her with a slight touch of pity as she asked.
"You believe that your sister died because you weren't strong enough.
So why are you sitting here uselessly, waiting for her to wake up before acting?
Are you so weak as to be unable to do anything without Tatsuta?"
Tenryuu narrowed her lone eye, ready to retort before she saw that Kiso was being absolutely serious with her.
Kiso's lone eye reflected her expectations of the light cruiser, and Tenryuu could see that even though Kiso was prepared to treat her like a child again when she was stubbornly waiting in the hospital instead of doing something useful, she was clearly disappointed in her as she had clearly expected Tenryuu to be better than this.
Kiso continued, patiently elaborating on her true responsibility as an older sister and as the name ship of the Tenryuu-Class.
"You should be out there, training your ass off in order to get stronger instead of sitting in the hospital like a bum.
Look at you.
Proud name ship of the Tenryuu-Class, rival to the torpedo cruiser Kiso, and this is how you're going to present yourself to Tatsuta when she wakes up?"
Tenryuu got a little defensive after hearing that, but Kiso tried her best to sound as inoffensive as she could as she shifted her body in order to face Tenryuu and proceeded to point how fatigued Tenryuu looked.
"You look tired.
When did you last sleep, hmm?
You have slight eye bags under your eyes, and it's clear that you've been crying recently."
Tenryuu narrowed her eyes, but did note that she felt rather tired after sitting beside Tatsuta's prone body for hours on end, and had cried a little while hiding in the toilet in order to make sure that no one overheard her sobs.
Kiso's eyes softened as she raised her hand, Tenryuu pulling her head back as Kiso's brown gloved hand reached out towards her, but squeezed her eyes shut as Kiso patted her on the crown of her head, messing up her hair as Kiso consoled the light cruiser.
"I know that you love your sister, but you need to look your best.
It's obvious from your shredded uniform, drooping mechanical ears and your sluggish movements that your morale is in the dumps, and you're dog-tired."
Tenryuu could see that Kiso's gaze shifted over to her unfinished microwavable food, and she grimly added as Tenryuu tried to act as if Kiso observations weren't on the nose as she folded her arms, leaned back on her chair looked away sullenly.
"And it seems as if you've lost your appetite, so I suppose we can add 'hungry' to that list."
Kiso exhaled through her nose, understanding that she was getting through to Tenryuu as the light cruiser would sometimes resort to the silent treatment whenever someone else made excellent points and she had no idea how to counter them verbally.
And if she was resorting to this childish tactic to try and justify her actions, it meant that she was wavering in her resolve and that Kiso only had to go a little further in order to try and convince her to stop.
"I won't be so crass as to say that I understand Tatsuta, since you're her sister and you know her best.
But do you think that it's the right thing to allow your sister to see you like this?"
Tenyuu hesitated for a moment before eventually conceding the point and nodded solemnly, looking away from the Kuma-Class torpedo cruiser and looked at the table as though it were the most interesting thing in the world as Kiso continued, trying not to make it sound as if it was a scolding, intending for it to be a moment where she gave Tenryuu some advice.
"I know that you want to be by her side because you feel responsible for her death, but to my knowledge, she pushed you out of the path of the missile.
She did it to protect you, and you can't be sitting here, doing nothing and wasting her sacrifice."
Kiso's tone hardened as she continued, straightening her body as Tenryuu's demeanor softened, starting to see things from Kiso's point of view and understanding that Tatsuta would probably see herself as the burden that was standing in between Tenryuu and her training if she saw her right now.
Tatsuta would probably prefer it if she used the time to train herself up and prepare herself for the next sortie instead of sitting beside her prone body in the hospital, eating microwavable food and mope about while blaming herself.
She'd never hear the end of it from her sister should she wake up from her slumber, as Tatsuta only required the use of her mouth to chew her out for her foolishness and inability to take care of herself.
Fuck, she was now regretting staying in the hospital without first taking a shower and changing out of her clothes, starting to feel a little self-conscious about her appearance in front of Kiso, curling up a little in order to hide herself despite knowing that there was no one in the cafeteria save for Kiso and herself.
"Tenryuu."
Kiso's voice became a little harsher as she tried to get Tenryuu's attention and drive her point home, but understanding that sometimes, people needed to be reminded of the right thing, and a bit of persuasive force was needed to remind them of what they knew deep down was right, but chose to insist otherwise for some contrived reason.
"You knew that there was nothing in your training that prepared you for a missile barrage.
Tenryuu deflated upon hearing that, knowing that Kiso's logic was irrefutable as she nodded, trying to add anything to the conversation.
"I know, I know…
I just…
I just wanted to know what I can do for her, now that she's on a medical bed and unconscious, you know?"
But Kiso's smile returned as she addressed the light cruiser, trying to lift her spirits by encouraging her to get out of the depressing funk by helping herself.
"You need to take a shower, for one.
Have you taken one since the battle?"
Tenryuu blushed a little at that, trying to move her chair away from Kiso out of embarrassment as Kiso pointed out.
"You need to be at your best, otherwise Tatsuta would be worried about you upon waking up to see you as you are right now, right?"
Tenryuu nodded meekly, smirking as she saw Kiso smile while she looked away as she remembered something.
"I know.
Tatsuta would be mortified to see me like this, blatantly disregarding my hygiene and diet in order to watch over her helplessly, instead of doing something worthwhile with my time like training."
Kiso saw Tenryuu consider everything for a while before giving her a thankful aside glance before turning to face Kiso as she looked her in the eye, the fire now somewhat rekindled in Tenryuu's eyes while she spoke.
"Maa, thanks, Kiso.
I personally felt that my performance left a lot to be desired, and I couldn't stop Tatsuta from getting killed.
But she's still here, and she'll wake up soon enough, that much is certain.
And all the time spent moping here could be better spent somewhere else, especially when I'm wasting it to keep her company while she's unconscious."
Kiso nodded, visibly relaxing as she knew that her junior wouldn't continue on her self-destructive path, leaning back and folding her arms as Tenryuu leaned in to ask the torpedo cruiser.
"So, what're you doing lately?
I mean, I heard that your Fleet's gonna be sortieing with your backup Fleet sometime soon, so..."
Kiso nodded as she lifted an eyebrow, her half-lidded eyes looking down at her lap as she responded coolly.
"We're going to fight an Abyssal Princess and her Elite Fleet.
Specifically, the Southern War Princess."
Tenryuu's breath stopped as she considered the fact that a fleet that mainly consisted of auxiliary ships were going to fight an Abyssal Princess, and despite knowing that the 8th Fleet was infamous for its unorthodox fighting styles and extensively used Anti-Abyssal weapons to kill Abyssals, she wasn't sure if they were capable of defeating the Southern War Princess and a whole bunch of Elites, who were stronger versions of existing Abyssals.
And wasn't the Southern War Princess supposed to be at Savo Island?
Kiso answered those questions for her, clearly seeing the transparent surprise on her face as she pulled back her shoulders to make herself comfortable before elaborating.
"The Southern War Princess seems to be making good time as she left Savo Island a while ago, and has been forcing other, weaker Abyssals into her fleet.
She's headed for Japan as we speak, and even though she won't arrive that soon, when she does, we'll be there, ready to take her down."
"B-But, I mean...
Not to disrespect your fleet's skills, but most of your teammates consist of auxiliary ships.
Are you sure that you can defeat them?"
Kiso smirked a little, unfolding one arm in order to reach out and rub Tenryuu's head again as she cooed.
"Aww.
Getting worried about your dear 'big sister' Kiso, hmm?"
Tenryuu pouted as she gently slapped Kiso's arm away, leaning back and away from Kiso's reach as she retorted.
"Of course not, man."
But a wave of dread hit her then as she remembered the frailty of a ship girl's life, remembering how easily Tatsuta died and nearly sank in the Battle of Mikura Jima Island along with the lifeless bodies of those who had been killed on the battlefield, feeling her body betray her attempts to overcome the sinking feeling in her heart as she broke out in a cold sweat, and the fact that the hospital was unbearably cold at night didn't help her at all.
She saw Kiso's expression morph into one of concern as she leaned in concernedly, Tenryuu hastily correcting her own statement so as not to leave the torpedo cruiser with the wrong impression.
"I-I mean...
I am, but..."
Tenryuu sighed, wondering if she would ever be able to get through a conversation without losing her cool, but Kiso gave her an understanding smile as she leaned back and folded her arms yet again, crossing her legs as she spoke up and helped Tenryuu sort through what she wanted to say.
"Let me guess.
You wanted to act like you don't care in a way that would make you look 'cool' in your own eyes, but you're conflicted because you're genuinely concerned about my well-being and safety, yes?"
There was a pregnant pause before Tenryuu nodded, finally giving up the facade and tried to be a little more truthful with herself and her feelings.
Kiso's gaze softened, and Tenryuu could see the age in Kiso's eyes, the kind of thing that could only be understood by ageless beings like them, where their seasoned and tired gaze occasionally slipped past their facade of normalcy, reflecting but a glimpse of what they had to go through throughout years of strife and war.
Tenryuu scratched the back of her head, feeling her disheveled hair through her gloved hands and mentally reminding herself to thoroughly wash her purple hair later as she explained herself to her senior.
"I-I mean...
It's just this bad feeling that I have, you know, where things are only going to go downhill from here on out.
And after fighting the Flying Dutchman, I can't help but wonder what kind of surprises the Abyssals may have in store for us.
But I think it's probably nothing for someone as strong as you..."
Tenryuu waved her concerns away, unsure of how to face the Kuma-Class torpedo cruiser when she was fatigued, hungry, and really wasn't in the mood to try and put on a tough act, especially in front of the one cruiser who could easily see through it as they were both almost like two peas in a pod and understood each other best.
But Kiso caught her hand in mid-wave, Tenryuu snapping her head to look right into Kiso's dead-serious eyes, caught off-guard by how solemn the torpedo cruiser looked and how it vastly differed from her previous expression which was gentle and calm, and respectfully listened to Kiso as she muttered.
"Tenryuu.
You're not wrong in being afraid for the future.
Most of us seniors can feel that there's a new age of warfare looming on the not-so-distant horizon, since the Admiral's being a lot more secretive than usual, and Akashi is now in cahoots with her in the planning department.
The Flying Dutchman's appearance only serves to justify our suspicions that the Abyssals are no longer going to play by our rules anymore, and are going to engage in the next phase in their war against mankind and ship girl-kind."
Tenryuu raised an eyebrow at the last statement, but her expression hardened and her demeanor shifted back to her tough and tenacious persona as she silently listened, understanding that if someone as enigmatic and dangerous as Akashi was now actively scheming with Admiral Mako as they tried to stop the Abyssals, then things were really going down the crapper like Kiso said.
Kiso glanced at Tenryuu as she reminded the light cruiser about what needed to done.
"And that's why you need to be training right now, since there's no telling what they may do in the future.
The future's full of uncertainties, and the one thing you need to be certain of is whether you're skilled and prepared enough to face what comes next, otherwise you're done for."
Tenryuu looked down at the floor as she nodded guiltily, understanding what she had to do in order to prepare herself for the battles to come while she had the time, otherwise she'd get caught off-guard by unexpected developments and get left behind in the wake of others.
But one thing that made her look back up at her friend was the unexpectedly gentle voice that Kiso used to address her, raising her gaze to see that Kiso's demeanor had softened in order to show her genuine appreciation for Tenryuu's concern.
"But thank you, Tenryuu.
Thank you for being so concerned for me."
Tenryuu was silenced by her senior's mature look that revealed her years, her gentle smile complementing her softened gaze as she was awed by how gentle the Kuma-Class torpedo-cruiser could be despite being known for being a member of the infamous 8th Fleet of Yokosuka, and also despite the fact that her status as a torpedo cruiser was earned through hard-fought battles and unspeakable losses.
And perhaps that was why she admired Kiso.
Perhaps it was because of that quality where she knew that her self-proclaimed rival and longtime friend had been through things that she'd never reveal to her, either because of how gruesome or traumatizing they were, yet could still smile like that and be so concerned for others.
In other words, she marveled at how her friend could be so strong, even after being through God-knows-what and still being able to hold her head up high and retain her compassion for others.
Tenryuu blushed a little upon hearing her senior thank her for explicitly expressing her concerns, and she could feel herself slipping back into her old habits and her usual way of speaking as she crossed her arms, confidently drew back her shoulders in order to hold her head up high as she huffed and exclaimed.
"Maa, don't worry 'bout it!
I mean, it's understandable that I'd feel worried for a fellow comrade, right?"
Kiso exhaled through her nose and closed her eyes, her radiant smile still on her face as she closed her eyes and nodded, now fully convinced that the light cruiser Tenryuu was now back in action, and that her concerns were now addressed as she muttered to herself.
"Yes.
Yes, it is."