Author's Note
Sorry about the various notices concerning this chapter.
Fanfiction's chapter uploader told me that there was an error regarding the uploading of this chapter but uploaded the chapter anyway, so I uploaded it twice.
Tatsuta was standing with Tenryuu on a pier which was located at a secluded area of the Yokosuka Naval Base, the younger Tenryuu-Class cruiser soaking in the peaceful silence which lingered in between them but was occasionally broken by the rhythmic sloshing of the waves, Tatsuta suddenly finding a newfound appreciation regarding their time together.
Because if either one of them died…
No.
As morbid as she liked to be in order to remain pragmatic about everyone's chances of survival, she knew that this was a bad habit of hers where she never went the full distance to try and connect with everyone, instead distancing herself mentally and emotionally in case they lost anyone and minimizing the damage done to her psyche and morale in the process.
But even when she considered their dismal odds of survival, she decided that she would subvert this habit for once and be open with her sister, the most important person in her life.
It was entirely possible that she would die and Tenryuu would live, or vice versa, or they'd both die on the operating table and they'd only be remembered as ship girls to be added to the statistics that were recorded by the annals of history.
And in case those hypothetical scenarios came true, she wanted to spend as much time as possible being open with everyone instead of being so cryptic with her true thoughts and emotions, leaving them with an incomplete understanding of who she was…
She caught herself in time, shaking her head wistfully as she felt another breeze roll in from the ocean, chastising herself for her default outlook on life, realistically pessimistic with a generous serving of dry wit to help her deal with life.
'Look at me.
Being told I'm being given semi-reasonable odds of surviving and I'm already talking as if the worst was an inevitability.
Not surprising, when you realize that 70% chance of dying is more likely to occur than the 30% chance of survival.
And when you consider the fact that both of us have to survive this…'
Noting that Tenryuu was now looking at her, she prepared herself for her sister's questions as she gave Tenryuu a wry smile, starting the conversation.
"Well, Tenryuu-chan?
I know that look well enough to understand that you have questions.
Feel free to ask me anything."
Tenryuu, having taken off her eye-patch beforehand in order to enjoy the view in its entirety, was able to look Tatsuta in the eyes as she asked without restraint or tact.
"I also know that look on your face well enough to know that you were thinking about death, or at least entertaining some pretty morbid thoughts.
And I understand that accepting the procedure had you thinking of our mortality, hmm?"
Tatsuta lifted an eyebrow and conceded the point, not putting it past Tenryuu to be capable of reading her rather accurately, answering truthfully as per her latest motto to be transparent with her sister and teammates.
"Well, yes.
I was thinking about the chances of us both surviving the procedure.
This isn't the same as a battle, where certain factors are at least within our control.
This is the same as the people back in medieval times leaving their fate to the gods, and our powerlessness infuriates me to no end."
Tenryuu nodded, looking rather somber about the entire situation as she watched the shimmering ocean on the 2nd of May with her two good eyes, having taken off her eye-patch before this.
"Well, I understand where you're coming from.
Recently, I've slowed down after accepting the offer to take the chance to really think about the possible ramifications of my death…"
The younger Tenryuu-Class cruiser's head snapped to the left so quickly, Tatsuta briefly wondered if she might get whiplash as her mind caught up to her subconscious reaction upon hearing Tenryuu talk about her own death, computing Tenryuu's words as she chided.
"Tenryuu.
Don't say that."
But Tenryuu looked towards her, grabbing Tatsuta's shoulders and slightly spun her so that they were facing each other, Tatsuta's fierce expression giving way to a slightly surprised one upon seeing Tenryuu be so assertive all of a sudden.
She knew that she was going to see the mature side of Tenryuu show itself, an occurrence which even Tatsuta rarely saw since Tenryuu was the kind of ship girl who buried her thoughtfulness and insightful nature underneath a facade of bravado and boasts.
"Tatsuta.
I'm old enough to understand that if it's my time to go, I'll accept it.
But that doesn't mean I'm not scared of dying.
I'm afraid of losing you, the Admiral, as well as all the friends which I've made so far.
The 1st Fleet most of all."
Tenryuu released her gloved hands as she lowered her gaze, looking thoughtful about their situation as Tatsuta listened attentively to every word she said, since it was possible that she may never get to hear her sister's voice again, one way or another.
Shit, there she went again.
"I've been thinking a lot about our lives, how one of us may live while the other dies, and how I would deal with something which was out of my control.
And I think I've come to a conclusion on this.
I promise, Tatsuta.
If I'm the only one to live through this, I'll strive to live on, no matter what."
Tatsuta then leaned back as Tenryuu leaned in, Tatsuta seeing the determination in Tenryuu's wide, shining eyes which belied the hidden strength and conviction behind her thoughts and beliefs.
"Don't get me wrong, Tatsuta.
I would never want to live in a world without you, but we have to be realistic.
On the off-chance that, touch wood, you die for real, I want to promise you this before I sit myself down on the operating chair.
I will do my best to keep living on, no matter what.
I'll mourn you and pay my respects, but I know you, and I know that you wouldn't want me to chain myself to the past and allow yourself to be a burden, right?"
Tatsuta looked down at the floorboards and the ocean beneath them, knowing that Tenryuu had spent enough time with her to know that the last thing she would want to be was a burden to Tenryuu and chain her down, either on the battlefield or in her memories.
She nodded in order to acknowledge Tenryuu's accurate prediction of her wants, allowing her sister to continue her heartfelt monologue.
"I also understand that you must have felt unbearable pain when I sank back in the previous war…"
Tatsuta winced, looking away and becoming deathly silent as she remembered how she felt back in the war when Tenryuu sank, and how it changed her for the worse since she was pretty much sailing through the war without much of a purpose by then, with no sister to protect and rely upon for protection.
It was strange though, how she could feel those emotions back then even when she was a simple vessel of steel and fuel.
But being conceptualized on a blueprint and being given a name, being created by builders before being released into the ocean in order to sail the seven seas and fight like hell before sinking, it was not unlike the life and death of a human, so perhaps it wasn't out of the question that in that state, she might be able to think and feel, albeit at a rudimentary level.
Tenryuu continued,
"And while I can't understand that pain, I want you to know that I want what's best for you."
Tatsuta met Tenryuu gaze, and she could see that knowing her odds of survival really made her sister consider the worth of her life and her relationship with everyone else.
And while Tatsuta understood the possibility of dying, she was glad that this allowed Tenryuu to be honest with her, and she indulged her pessimistic mood one more time to say that even if she were to die, she wouldn't regret it after seeing Tenryuu be so honest with herself and shared her thoughts so freely with Tatsuta.
"I won't tell you what I want you to do, like keep yourself alive and don't kill yourself out of grief, since I have no idea how painful it feels to have a sister ship die on me.
So I'll just say that whichever path you choose, I'll respect it nonetheless."
Something within Tatsuta's heart twisted uncomfortably upon seeing Tenryuu give her a sad smile which was quite uncharacteristic of her, and while she wanted Tenryuu to be honest with both Tatsuta and herself, she didn't like seeing Tenryuu be sad or morose.
And while she teased Tenryuu about liking it when she saw her panicked or embarrassed expressions, it never extended to pained or sad expressions where she knew that something was eating at her from the inside, and she knew that it certainly hurt her sister to implicitly say that she would understand if she chose to take her own life after surviving while Tenryuu died, solely out of grief.
Tatsuta looked away, thankful that her hair managed to hide her slightly watering eyes from her sister even though she knew that Tenryuu would've picked up on her developing habit of not meeting other people's gazes, especially her sister's, when she wanted to say something heartfelt.
"Well, you've said your piece.
Now it's my turn."
Inhaling, Tatsuta appreciated the sight of the soothing ocean waves and the light breeze hitting them, feeling the slight taste of salt in the air and hearing the rhythmic ebb and flow of the waves which all ship girls were familiar with.
"While I admit that the thought of taking my own life has crossed my mind if I were to survive while you died, I have given it some thought during these past few days.
And I think that while it is a possible course of action for someone like me to take, I will say that it will be the last thing I will do.
Killing myself simply because I survived while you died would be an insult to your memory, and I also understand that deep down, you really don't want me to kill myself, right?"
Tatsuta met Tenryuu's widened gaze as she stared her down, and eventually, Tenryuu relented as she looked away abashedly with a slight blush on her face, Tatsuta smiling knowingly as she looked away and continued.
"The grief…
I admit, it is a powerful force which compels you to do things in the heat of the moment, but I want you to know that, touch wood, if you were to die, I will live on."
Tatsuta stepped in, now turning the tables as she leaned in and lifted her gloved hand to tenderly grasp Tenryuu's cheek, shifting the orientation of her sister's head in order to look her in the eye as she explained herself.
"I've also been considering the worth my life, and how I wouldn't want to destroy everything which I've built up so far.
Hiei, Junyou, Shigure, Ayanami…
The Sendai, Kuma and Nagara-Class cruisers…
I don't want to lose them all like I did last time.
And like you said, I will remember you in my heart and mourn your loss.
But as a soldier, I will march on."
Tatsuta's smile was long gone, her expression tranquil yet focused as she expressed the fact that while she was prepared for the worst, she certainly wasn't giving up hope on the situation.
"Relax.
I've already done this before, remember, Tenryuu?
Just rinse and repeat."
Tenryuu's face scrunched up into something unreadable upon witnessing Tatsuta's dark sense of humor at work, and Tatsuta's face relaxed and shifted into a wry smile as she continued.
"Don't worry, Tenryuu-chan.
I, too, want us to be well and alive at the end of the procedure, but I understand that there's a good chance that anything can happen.
And I will remember you…"
Tatsuta released her hold on Tenryuu's cheek in order to hold both her cheeks, intentionally focusing her eyes on nothing in particular as she channeled her inner Gasai Yuno and whispered in an overzealous manner.
" … in my own special way."
Tenryuu's mood lightened upon seeing Tatsuta return to her usual self, sharing with her how she wanted to be remembered as they indulged in this morbid conversation.
"Well, if you do, please don't worship me by building a shrine and inviting ship girls to worship me at the church of 'Our Venerable Hero, Tenryuu-Sama' or whatever, that's so goddamned cheesy.
I want to make a distinction while I still can between being revered and being worshiped, and I certainly wouldn't want the latter to occur.
Being worshiped sounds so boring, where you don't have to work to gain everyone's love and admiration, and they put you up on a pedestal and bow before you everyday, never daring to look you in the face.
The former, however…"
Tenryuu looked away, Tatsuta lowering her hands as she gave her sister an aside glance, noting the wistful look in her face as she wondered about what it was like to be revered and how much pain and loss one had to endure in order to reach a point where one was revered by everyone as a hero.
"It's quite the ordeal to be a hero, since you're expected to soldier on and be a shining beacon to everyone, weathering the losses and the pain with nary a sign of cracking.
And even though I can't be that strong right now, I feel that I'm on the right track, taking reasonable risks to become stronger while understanding the need to keep myself alive.
After all, you can't help and save anyone if you're dead."
Tatsuta nodded, looking away as she wondered about things, letting her mind wander while she rested her forearms on the wooden railings of the pier as she did so.
"Hmm, but I suppose no matter how revered of a hero you may be, everyone must die one day, yes?
And even if your legends live on, without you being present to keep those stories and rumors about you alive, wouldn't they will stop being passed down from person to person, effectively allowing your legacy as a hero to end eventually?"
Tenryuu joined her as Tatsuta could see that her sister leaned forward, her elbows resting on the wooden planks which made up the railing as she continued her train of thoughts, adding her opinion to it in order to share her thoughts with Tatsuta.
"Well, you're not wrong there.
Even stories can stop being passed down, and will eventually cease to exist.
But there's a sort of beauty in that, no?"
Tatsuta gave her sister an aside glance, and saw that Tenryuu met her gaze as she gave a sagely smirk, Tatsuta appreciating her sister's rare displays of insight as she heard Tenryuu speak about how mortality could be seen as something beautiful.
"I personally think that impossibly beautiful we ship girls may be, I can't help but feel that our beauty is much like a plastic flower, something which can never die.
And I know that this was a point in the 'debate-for-the-hell-of-it' intellectual debate about whether the ship girls can actually be classified as 'alive' in the conventional sense, if we apparently cannot die as a result of senescence.
And if we didn't have a war to fight with the Abyssals, would we have continued living on until the end of time, save for the occasional maintenance of our bodies?"
Tatsuta raised both arms in faux surprise, lightly teasing her sister as she normally did in a tone which conveyed her playfulness and non-aggression, even though she knew that Tenryuu would never take these playful jabs to heart.
"Oh my, Tenryuu-chan.
Using complicated words like a proper, elephant lady now, hmm?"
Tenryuu chuckled upon noting a certain nameship's mistake in attempting to use complicated words, looking away with an amused smile on her face.
Watching her sister lower her head, Tenryuu's expression now shifted to look genuinely morose while brooding over this topic, continuing on while Tatsuta respectfully listened to her sister.
"I feel that even though it's natural for us ship girls to feel that living forever isn't something out of the ordinary, but I think it's more apparent when you retire and start a family of your own, since you will likely outlive your spouse and your children, and perhaps even your grandchildren…
It feels really sad, when you think about it."
Tatsuta's expression drooped as she considered how her future might turn out, watching her loved ones die a slow and painful death and not being allowed to die with them save for suicide, which was an extremely tasteless way to go after surviving two wars.
Nodding in order to acknowledge Tenryuu's words, her sister noted her nod before she continued with her little monologue.
"I think that death is a love-hate relationship for us ship girls, because even though we die very often in times of war, when we live in peacetime, it's next to impossible for us to die due to our superhuman bodies.
It's rather ironic, don't you think?"
Tatsuta lifted an eyebrow, asking with a fair bit of interest.
"Hmm.
Well, what do you think best describes death, then?"
"At the risk of reminding you of our country's dumber tactics, I suppose dying's a bit like falling cherry blossom petals."
Tenryuu's expression soured as she rolled her eyes derisively, Tatsuta understanding that being a caring ship girl despite disguising it poorly with her cool and aloof facade, Tenryuu was extremely disapproving of how their government convinced their doomed pilots and soldiers to sacrifice their lives wantonly and recklessly under the pretense of 'pretentious, pseudo-philosophical bullshit' of 'honor in death'.
Even though Tatsuta could still see Tenryuu's bitterness regarding their past and the asinine tactics their past commanders encouraged to in order to maintain their warped version of 'honor', her expression still softened enough to allow her to focus on the present.
"Personally, I believe there's no honor in dying by your own hand for whatever reason, and for the life of me, I simply can't understand why I should kill myself over a mistake, for reasons like 'honor' and pride and the like.
I mean, the one way you can recover from that shame is to fight twice as hard in order to make things right, so why should I kill myself and leave this world as a disgraced warrior without being given a chance to restore my lost honor?"
Tenryuu sighed, and Tatsuta could see that this was a sore point for Tenryuu, and despite knowing that her sister's headstrong and 'never-say-die' attitude was going to come into conflict with their culture's themes of self-sacrifice and choosing death in order to restore lost honor, to think that she would go on a small rant on it…
It was a side to her sister which she had never seen before, and it helped her learn more about Tenryuu and understand that she wasn't going to commit seppuku anytime soon.
"Well, that aside, I understand that the greatest death, at least for a human, should come at the end of a long life, to die with dignity after fulfilling all your duties like raising your children well, experiencing love and loss, amongst others.
I mean, at that point, it's sad, but I suppose you can see it as a perfect time to die, much like a cherry blossom tree which blossoms and falls like clockwork every year, having lived its entire cycle without interruptions, and at that point, there's nothing more which you can ask for.
Any earlier than that, it's a pity because you haven't accomplished everything you sought to do, and any later, it just becomes a stretched out goodbye which makes it painful for all parties involved.
You understand me?"
Tatsuta nodded as she considered the question, and understood that Tenryuu wanted to do right by everyone and leave this world on her own terms (without resorting to suicide), but for them, it wasn't easy to do so since their steel bodies aged far more slowly than a human's, so it was understandable that Tenryuu would dislike this aspect about themselves since they would outlive several generations of their descendants.
To watch them all wither away while you lived on…
She wasn't sure if she wanted to romance a human if she knew that she would eventually attend the funerals of her husband, children and grandchildren while looking pretty much the same as she did right now a century later.
Tenryuu saw that Tatsuta was pondering Tenryuu's words, and she tried to improve her sister's mood as she slowly spun around in order to lean back on the wooden beam which doubled as a railing, shooting Tatsuta a wry grin as she consoled.
"Well, don't worry, Tatsuta.
I don't have a death wish, and I certainly don't want to find a 'meaningful death' on the battlefield or whatever.
In my opinion, whoever lives at the end of a battle's the true winner.
I just wanted to express my opinion of death upon feeling the deadline inching closer.
And because I know that death is a possibility, I want to be closer to you and share my thoughts with you, even though I know that you may think distancing yourself from others is going to soften the impact of your loss in any way."
Tatsuta lifted an eyebrow in order to concede the point, once believing that if not a lot of people knew her personally, it wouldn't matter much to them if she were to leave them abruptly.
But even though she saw the practicality of such a move and wanted to convince herself that this was the right thing to do for everyone's sake, for some reason, she couldn't bring herself to carry it out for real and heartlessly push everyone away, isolating herself in the process.
Was this normal for her?
Or was she developing in an unusual way unlike other Tatsuta clones in other naval bases, where she was slowly defrosting and couldn't bring herself to do the things her other clones would. simply because she wasn't becoming… depraved?
Was that the right word to describe what she could become?
She wasn't sure what to think concerning this line of thought, but her attention was drawn back to Tenryuu as she continued her little speech.
"Well, it's heartening to see that you don't actually intend to do that.
I know you, and while I accept the fact that you can be a bit cold and impersonal at times, I feel relieved to find that you're opening up to everyone else."
Tatsuta then met Tenryuu's gaze, and she could see the determination in Tenryuu's eyes as she was silenced by her sister's next words.
"That's why, Tatsuta.
Even though I understand that death is a possibility in this upcoming project, I don't want to die just yet, because I want to be with you all the way.
I can't guarantee or promise anything concerning the outcome of this procedure, but there is one thing I can promise.
Whatever happens, I will never stop doing my best to survive, so that I can wake up and see you again.
That's why if you're to wake up first, please be the first thing I see when I open my eyes.
Please."
Tatsuta gulped upon hearing Tenryuu's words, not just because those words were from her heart and thus carried power and conviction behind them, but also because Tenryuu was pretty much making it clear that she wanted to survive in order to see her.
Her.
Oh sure, Tatsuta knew that Tenryuu wanted to see everyone again, but being her sister likely made her the most important thing in Tenryuu's world, which was why Tenryuu wanted Tatsuta to be the first thing she saw upon waking up.
Tatsuta was unsure of how to respond to that heartfelt expression of sisterly love, so she responded the only way she knew how.
She leaned in to touch foreheads with Tenryuu and caused their sizable chests to press against each other in the process, her sister's cheeks coloring a little while her determined expression gave way to an embarrassed one as she stuttered.
"W-What're you doing, Tatsuta?"
And Tatsuta's cheeks stretched in a wry smile as she looked right into her sister's yellow pupils and teased.
"Well, you were thinking so hard about these morbid and complicated topics, and I was getting worried if your computerized mind might overheat from the stress of pushing your mind to the limit, so I had to check if you were overclocking…"
Tenryuu snorted as she broke out in a smile which Tatsuta would cherish forever, the nameship of the Tenryuu-Class cruisers gently pushing her forehead away with a gloved finger as she responded in kind.
"Well, I also need to check if your cool and distant heart is warming up in light of recent events, for your own sake.
Itadakimasu!"
As she glomped Tatsuta and shoved her face into a slightly surprised Tatsuta's cleavage, before muttering as her breath tickled Tatsuta's skin through her uniform.
"Warm… and hella soft…"
Tatsuta couldn't hold back her laughter anymore as she stroked Tenryuu's hair, laughing gently at her sister's antics and realizing that working at Mamiya's canteen helped to break down the facade of false smiles and the distant attitude simply because she had to work constantly while interacting with others, leaving no time for such things.
Interacting with her teammates and the ship girls of this base exposed her to new and interesting personalities and allowed her little time to be alone with her dark thoughts, which actually helped her to open up to others instead of pushing them away, and Tenryuu being there every step of the way definitely helped anchor her psyche.
She knew that the smile on her own face was a genuine one, free of all pretense as she thought about what was to come.
Certainly, she understood that the numbers didn't lie, but that didn't mean that she was going to simply roll over and die in the upcoming one-of-a-kind procedure.
'And even if I die,'
Tatsuta thought wryly as Tenryuu gave her the cutest and most innocent of gazes upon coming up for air and looking her dead in the eye in the process, her head still slightly squashed between Tatsuta's breasts.
'I won't have too many regrets.
I accept either outcome.'
Hiei was wearing her exercise outfit which consisted of a singlet with her name, 比叡, on it along with exercise shorts and shoes, and she was heaving as she utilized her arms to perform pull-ups at the pull-up station while Kongou watched on silently from a bench, observing Hiei's exercise regime during her break.
They were at the indoor exercise grounds which was situated inland in order to protect its users from the elements, its thick roof providing its occupants protection from rain or shine.
Normally, Hiei would do this in order to impress Kongou whenever her elder sister observed her training sessions, but she surprised herself today by only focusing on improving herself for the sake of her teammates in order to protect them from whatever the Abyssals threw at them next.
Eventually, Hiei heard Kongou tell her something, pausing as she felt buckets of sweat trickle down her skin, her singlet clinging to her body and making it rather form-fitting as a result, but she ignored all these as Kongou left her seat and approached her with a towel and a water bottle in hand.
"Hiei.
Let's take a break, you've been exercising for an hour straight."
Hiei thought about rejecting her sister's suggestion, but eventually acquiesced upon feeling her muscles burn up as she let go of her grip on the handlebar before nodding towards her sister, her short hair shaking wildly since she wasn't wearing her headdress and caused drops of sweat to hit the floor as she met her sister halfway.
"Yes, Onee-sama."
She gratefully accepted both the bottle of water and the towel as she wiped the sweat from her face, gulping down the cool water as she felt the soreness in her muscles become apparent after exerting herself for so long without activating her ship girl mode.
It was equally difficult for her to exercise with her ship girl mode on, but since her weight would increase drastically upon activating her ship girl mode, it would require a stronger pull-up station in order to support her weight, and that would require more resources to create them, resources they couldn't afford to spare.
She could hear Kongou's voice as she rubbed her face with her towel, Kongou sounding rather subdued since Hiei knew that her sister was energetic and spontaneous, but was also capable of being elegant and ladylike since she was created in Britain before being sent to Japan, and even insightful and profound in rare instances when she allowed herself to ponder about their true nature and their ultimate purpose in life.
"Let's sit down, Hiei.
I want to talk to you about something."
Hiei nodded acceptingly, the two Kongou Sisters walking over to the bench as they sat themselves down, Hiei watching Kongou's face intently as she waited for her sister to begin the conversation, and Kongou didn't disappoint as she began.
"Hiei, I want you to know that I love you."
Hiei blinked as she processed her sister's words, before focusing her gaze on her sister and asking her to either repeat herself or elaborate on her words.
"I-I'm sorry, Onee-sama.
I'm afraid I don't understand what you mean.
Would you mind either repeating or explaining yourself?"
Kongou's smile stretched upon hearing that, and Hiei was slowly starting to piece things together in her mind as her heart sank, Kongou choosing to elaborate as she leaned in to make herself heard.
"Hiei, I stand by what I said, because if there's one thing I want you to take away from this conversation, it's that I will love you forever, because you are my sister, desu.
I wish to talk to you about your love for me.
The romantic kind."
Hiei swallowed the lump in her throat, looking away and suddenly feeling rather self-conscious about the sheen of sweat on her skin and her less-than-presentable state right now as her cheeks colored, stuttering in embarrassment.
"I-I don't know what you mean, Onee-sama."
While inwardly cursing, her thoughts running through her mind in a frenzy as she wondered about how Kongou found out about her romantic love for her own sister.
'Damn.
I thought I hid my love from Onee-sama well enough, so how…?'
But her attention was drawn to Kongou's soft chuckle, and this wasn't the usual kind of hyperactive or lady-esque laugh which she was accustomed to, but was the kind which an adult would use in order to express their mirth when dealing with children and being amused by their antics, making Kongou sound her age since she was one of the oldest ship girls of World War 2.
"Oh, Hiei.
I've noticed the way you look at me when you thought I wasn't looking, longing for me to return your love, yet understanding that my love for Admiral Mako is genuine and respecting my feelings.
And for that, I thank you."
Kongou then scooted over in order to hug Hiei tightly, surprising her as she didn't want to blemish her sister's perfection in any way, gently attempting to pry herself away from Kongou as she exclaimed softly,
"O-Onee-sama?!
I'm still sweaty!"
But Kongou persisted, the headstrong personalities of both sisters surfacing as Hiei strangely found herself trying to get out of her sister's embrace while Kongou was equally obstinate in being close to her as she tightened her hug, Hiei eventually losing her balance as she called out upon feeling their center of gravity shift once Kongou leaned on her.
"Onee-sama.
I'm losing my balance…"
As they both tumbled onto the floor, Hiei feeling a strong sense of deja-vu as Kongou was lying atop her and almost looked as if she tackled Hiei to the floor, what with her arms wrapped around her suggestively as Kongou's face was pressed into Hiei's bosom.
The both of them blushed in unison, separating themselves from each other and furiously patting themselves down as Hiei sat herself down in a seiza position, while Kongou chose to seat herself down in a ladylike manner as she folded her legs with her right leg underneath her left thigh and her left leg sticking out to the left.
A pregnant pause hung over them for a while, the two of them choosing to use this time to cool down and compose themselves before pretending that the previous incident never happened, Kongou glossing over that incident awkwardly as she continued, the both of them staring straight forward with straightened backs and flushed cheeks as they conversed, unable to meet each other's gaze lest they be reminded of that unintentionally intimate moment.
"A-Anyway.
As I said, Hiei.
I want to thank you for understanding."
Hiei's gaze lowered as she expression drooped, since deep down, she already knew that things would eventually come to this as she understood the relationship between Admiral Mako, Kongou and herself.
She had always tried her best not to interfere with Kongou's relationship with Admiral Mako, but she knew that she always wanted to believe that she had a chance to win Kongou's heart by sweeping her Onee-sama off her feet with her charm.
But reality set in as she slowly realized that this was no different from a child's wish upon a shooting star, and Kongou's Burning Love for their Admiral was romantic, while her love for Hiei was sisterly love.
Kongou continued, both of them looking away as they found that this was the best way to share their true feelings with each other, and Hiei could hear the regret in her sister's voice for not being able to reciprocate her romantic feelings.
"I'd like to take this time to talk to you about our relationship, and how I'm sorry I can't love you in a romantic sense.
I'm sorry."
Hiei closed her eyes, already expecting this ever since Kongou announced her relationship with Admiral Mako, and while she was genuinely happy that her sister was able to find happiness with someone who truly loved her, she knew that in terms of romance, Hiei never stood a chance.
"I've always known that you loved me as more than a sister, and even though I wished to share my love with you and Admiral Mako much like how Admiral Mako loves so many ship girls at once, I want to be honest with you, Hiei.
You're my sister, and I don't wish to lead you on by keeping our relationship vague and not addressing your romantic love for me despite being your elder sister."
Kongou was now addressing her as an equal, and was now acting in such a mature manner, Hiei barely registered the fact that Kongou had dropped her 'desu' verbal tic in order to get her point across without destroying the mood.
"Hiei, you've been around for a while now, and I can see it in your eyes that you're working hard to protect your fleet, instead of trying to impress me like you always did in previous training sessions."
Hiei choked on her own spit upon hearing that, coughing into her fist as Kongou giggled and waited for her to catch her breath and clear her throat before speaking again.
"I always noted that you pushed yourself even harder while in my presence, and I remained silent in regards to your admittedly adorable attempts to impress me.
But today, I could feel that even though I was here, I was simply an afterthought in your mind as you focused on your fleet while you strove to improve yourself.
And don't get me wrong, I'm actually happy that this was the case…"
Hiei turned to face Kongou as she feared that Kongou would be miffed after realizing that she was ignored, but Kongou's face was instead glad, almost proud of her, the words coming of her mouth matching her expression as she continued.
"I was always afraid that I would be the center of your universe forever, and that would mean that no one else would matter as much as I did to you.
But you now have stronger enemies to face, and other ship girls whom you want to protect.
I could see it in your eyes that you were thinking of protecting the 1st Fleet and us, the Kongou Sisters in that order, right?"
Hiei nodded, unsure of how she was to feel about putting her teammates before her sisters, but Kongou sounded approving of this as she elaborated on how a Kongou-Class battleship should be like.
"That's great.
I daresay that from now on, when you reunite with your fleet when you've fully recovered, you will likely spend more time with them than with us, and you may be understandably worried about being more concerned about them than about us, but that's to be expected.
We're the Kongou Sisters, and you can depend on us to take care of ourselves.
But the 1st Fleet is newly formed in comparison to the other established fleets, and it's natural for you to worry about them."
Hiei exhaled upon agreeing with Kongou's perspective, and realized that while she could depend on her sisters to defend themselves in times of crises, she was hesitant to say the same for the 1st Fleet, even though they had a lot of potential and could do so much better given enough time and effort.
The downside was that they were still inexperienced, and she knew that she had to become stronger in order to protect them from the Abyssals, without suffocating them with her protectiveness and allowing them to develop their abilities on their own and learn to trust them like she did her sisters.
But Hiei and Kongou had to settle the last thing which tied them to the past, in order for her to focus on the future while fully understanding where she stood in regards to her teammates and sisters.
Hiei closed her eyes, inhaling deeply and centering herself in her mind in order to sort out her thoughts before opening her eyes in order to look forward, speaking from the heart about how she felt about this.
"I will admit, Onee-sama.
I've been dreading this conversation back in the day, shortly after your announcement regarding your relationship with the Admiral and before the formation of my fleet.
And back then, I always hoped that this illusion of me convincing myself that I could win your heart back would last forever, and I wanted to become stronger in order to make it a reality.
But looking back at the past me, I suppose I was like a child receiving Christmas presents and believed that Santa existed, but I then hit a certain age where I slowly began to suspect that Santa didn't really exist, but secretly wanted to believe in it for a little longer before reality set in."
Kongou snickered upon hearing her analogy, but Hiei couldn't help but also smile after hearing her sister's amused giggle, trying to remark in a serious tone about how apt the analogy really was.
"It's true, Onee-sama.
As hopeless as it seemed for a fairy tale to come true, I wanted to indulge myself for a little while longer and pine for your affections from the sidelines.
But I understand that by stating that your love for me will likely never become romantic, I suppose it hurts, but…"
Hiei exhaled again, her heart hurting a little, but not exactly the kind of pain which dug at her heart and made her feel bitter at the world.
It was the kind of pain which accompanied awaking from a pleasant dream, and finding that reality just wasn't the same as your dream-world, no matter how hard you worked to make that dream a reality.
And it was because deep down, you always knew that the dream was impossibly sweet such that when you realize that it will never come true, it temporarily leaves a sour taste in her heart.
"Well, it's not just pain.
I also feel disappointed, like I could have done something different to win your heart.
But I suppose that was the point."
Hiei turned to look at her sister, realization dawning upon her as her expression softened and she expressed her understanding of Kongou's reasons behind talking to her right now.
"I suppose if you never explicitly state that your love for me will only be sisterly, I would have maintained this wishful thinking in the back of my mind until the end of time.
And even though I'm disappointed, I suppose it's the answer I deserved to hear all this time."
Kongou's eyes widened, before closing as she nodded slowly while speaking in a grateful tone, looking extremely glad that this conversation went rather well.
"I'm glad, Hiei.
I did this because I didn't want to hurt you any more than necessary, and even though I am your elder sister, Hiei, I must thank you for being so understanding, desu."
She bowed towards Hiei while still seated, causing Hiei to become rather embarrassed at how her sister was expressing her gratitude in a manner which Hiei rarely saw outside of a handful of people who had done everything to deserve such a genuine expression of thanks.
But Kongou's expression drooped again, looking forward as she shared with Hiei how everything was going down the crapper with the Battle of Sagami-nada Sea coming up at roughly the end of May, and anything ahead of that was an incoming storm which they had almost no way of predicting what would come next.
"I'm glad that you're training so hard, because I've heard things about the Abyssals, and all of them unsettle me, Hiei.
The Battle of Sagami-nada Sea is just the beginning, since I understand that The Flying Dutchman destroyed your fleet…"
Hiei's eyes widened slightly as she felt a chill run down her spine upon remembering how the Abyssal aviation battleship destroyed them at Mikura Jima Island.
And even though she hunched a little and brought her shoulders in due to fright, she found that Kongou leaned on her in order to provide some warmth so that she wouldn't feel alone, Hiei reluctantly allowing her elder sister to do so since she was still sweating a little.
Kongou continued,
" … but I'm glad that you're using this experience to fuel your desire to become stronger, because I think that whatever's coming next certainly requires us to become stronger if we're to even survive, desu.
And that uncertainty is part of the reason why I wanted to talk to you today."
Hiei lowered her gaze as she now understood why her sister wanted to talk to her about her unresolved feelings regarding Kongou, since they may never get the chance to do so when shit hit the fan and they were too busy dealing with the Abyssals to be able to talk like this again.
Kongou's hair tickled Hiei's drying skin as she rested her head on her bare shoulder, Hiei hearing the tiredness in her sister's voice after worrying about and preparing for what was to come, remarking.
"I can't guarantee that I can protect you or get the chance to talk to you like again, Hiei.
But I want you to know that no matter what happens, I love you anyway, desu."
Hiei stayed silent, but deeply appreciated how her sister went so far to take the initiative to talk to her about her feelings, since she wanted Hiei to focus all of her attention on what was important and not be distracted by the small details.
She didn't want to disappoint her sisters, but more importantly for her, she also didn't want to disappoint the 1st Fleet, a second wind stirring within her to motivate her to do better.
" …and the preparations, as per Admiral Mako's instructions, are being carried out as we speak."
Iowa was sitting in the canteen of the San Francisco Naval Base with Admiral Jackson as they both relaxed over a cup of coffee on the 2nd of May, the both of them updating the other of the situation as per usual.
And since Iowa was in on the loop about the likelihood of an impending land assault, she was speaking to her Admiral about how the development of Anti-Abyssal firearms was coming along.
Admiral Jackson was sipping his coffee, and Iowa furrowed her eyebrows as she asked her Admiral about what she was supposed to tell the others regarding why they were diverting so much resources into Anti-Abyssal weapons development.
"And I'd like to ask before anyone asks, Admiral, but others are picking up on the fact that we're using a lot of resources for Anti-Abyssal weapons development and are doing more expeditions than usual as a result, even though we're stuffed with resources…
If they're to ask me about why we're doing this, what do I tell them if you made it clear beforehand that we're never to use 'Ask the Admiral' to avoid being questioned?"
Admiral Jackson shrugged nonchalantly, taking another sip from his cup of coffee as he made up an offhand explanation which would reveal little to nothing to others, yet allow them to be prepared for what was to come as he explained.
"Well, tell them that we're… taking precautions.
After all, it's been 10 years since the Abyssals have changed up the game with another 5-Year Plan, and we need to prepare ourselves in any way possible.
Tell them that, hmm?"
Iowa nodded, but was still trying to wrap her mind around the possibility that the world would be engulfed in another world war, asking her Admiral out of curiosity.
"Admiral, if 'Apocalypse' is going to drag the world into another world war, please tell me why we aren't simply notifying and warning every single country under the sun about this?
We can't simply leave 'em in the dark, right?"
Admiral Jackson lowered his reports, giving Iowa an 'Are you serious?' face as he patiently explained how spectacularly that course of action was going to backfire.
"And then what?
Tell 'em we found a couple of receipts and plans which could have easily been faked, and be laughed out of their office as fear-mongers or attention whores who are trying to hoard resources.
Add this to the fact that we can't send spies in to gather information about the Abyssals since they're living in, I don't know, Atlantis…?
Or what did you girls call it back then?
'Bikini Bottom', back when Spongebob was still a thing?"
Iowa lifted an eyebrow to acknowledge the in-joke that since the Abyssals lived on the ocean floor, their spawning point-slash-base of operations was jokingly and colloquially dubbed 'Bikini Bottom' by everyone, before it was eventually accepted as one way to refer to the underwater land of the Abyssals alongside the more official-sounding 'Atlantis' and the dreaded 'Davy Jones' Locker'.
"Anyway, what we need right now is more evidence to prove that 'Apocalypse' is real, since I know that you know that humans can't always be relied upon to make rational decisions which would upset the status quo for the worse.
You really think that living under the impression that there was no war for 10 years and another 10 believing that it's not their war to fight, you think anyone wants to be told that they're going to have to start making preparations for another world war against alien invaders?
By God, The Flying Dutchman made enough of a fuss with one appearance, you think the old crones behind our governments want to saddle up for a land assault without proper evidence to prove beyond a shred of doubt that it's anything but imminent?"
Iowa lowered her head despondently, understanding that not everyone was capable of thinking straight when under pressure or were facing threats to their way of life, but Admiral Jackson's tone lightened as he snapped his papers straight and returned his gaze towards its contents, letting Iowa know about their next course of action.
"Relax.
It's not all hopeless, simply most of it.
Admiral Mako's sending out her Infiltration Fleet into Abyssal waters to find out more about 'Apocalypse', and if it's successful, we can call for an overseas conference to convince everyone about this and bring them up to speed on things.
She recommended that I carry out a land-assault training session in the meantime in order to prepare ourselves for what's next, so I suppose we'll do that.
Wouldn't want our girls to pick up a firearm when we get attacked and the first words which comes out of their mouth is,
'How the hell do I use this?'
Shit, I'd rather just surrender and attempt to parley with the Abyssals if that were to really happen, instead of getting steamrolled."
Iowa nodded as she made a mental note of that, asking her Admiral about what he was reading and how it had commanded his attention for some time.
"Admiral, if I may ask, what's that you're reading?
You've been staring at it for a while now."
Admiral Jackson then passed the reports over to Iowa, narrating as she lowered her head in order to read the words and inspect the pictures which were sent from overseas to them.
"A few days ago, a blue whale was found dead, sporting wounds larger than battleships are tall, and these…"
Gently placing his index finger on the two bloody sets of teeth which were recovered from the carcass, he continued grimly about their hypothesis on how the blue whale met its demise.
"These are the steel teeth which they managed to recover from the whale carcass.
We're hard pressed to match these two teeth with any known Abyssals, especially the one shaped like a dagger.
They hypothesized that two new Beasts killed this whale for sport, and one of them was theorized to be a Megalodon, since this tooth is shaped like a Great White Shark's tooth, but larger.
The possibility of this new Beast being linked to Apocalypse has not been discounted."
Now pointing to the diamond-shaped steel tooth which filled the ship girl's bloodied hand, Iowa gulped as she wondered how her armor would fare against this new Beast.
Admittedly, as a battleship, her armor was nothing to sneeze at, but looking at the cutting-edge of the tooth belonging to a supposedly extinct predator which was remade in steel in order to pierce ship girl armor, she was starting to possess a healthy amount of self-doubt about the strength of her armor trying to protect her against that.
Looking up at Admiral Jackson, she asked warily.
"So what're we going to do about this, Admiral?"
But hoping for reassuring answers didn't get her anywhere, Admiral Jackson relaxing his tense stance in order to sink into his chair as he responded in a defeated tone.
"Not much, unfortunately.
We can equip our ship girls with Anti-Submarine Depth Charge Launchers in order to try and provide some sort of defense against this and plant some underwater naval mines in order to deter them, but what else can we do?"
Iowa was dumbfounded as she leaned forward with an incredulous expression, asking disbelievingly.
"But, we're not going out to hunt this…this thing down and kill it?"
Admiral Jackson shrugged as he shared his little session with Admiral Mako yesterday, and how they 'planned' to deal with this.
"Well, we wouldn't want to waste our fuel on useless 'fishing trips' for enemy Beasts which can simply wait us out and force us to waste our resources in trying to find them.
So Admiral Mako's suggestion in our talk yesterday was to send out Essex, and I mean Essex the carrier, mind you, arm her with harpoons and make her wear one hand puppet on each hand.
One'll be called Ahab, and the other, Ishmael."
Iowa managed to rein in a snicker at the thought of her comrade being sent out to hunt an Abyssal Beast the old-fashioned way, since her similarly-named predecessor was reportedly sunk by a whale and inspired the novel, Moby Dick.
Gesturing to Admiral Jackson with a barely-held-together poker face, she gave her commander a tight smile as she asked politely.
"And what was your response, Admiral?
I'm pretty sure you have a better plan than that."
Admiral Jackson somehow managed to say his next words with a straight face, turning to face Iowa and looked her dead in the eye as he explained.
"Why, of course.
Invest our resources in Anti-Abyssal shark-repellant Bat-spray."
Iowa couldn't hold in her laugh anymore, bursting out in one soft bark of laughter before trying to compose herself, Admiral Jackson looking at her in a nonplussed manner as she brought her voice under control and coughed into her gloved fist, before uttering in an overtly serious tone in order to try and recover the situation.
"Um…
T…That sounds like a great idea, Admiral."
Thankfully, her Admiral remarked coolly about the situation even though he maintained his poker face, looking more tired than anything else the closer Iowa looked.
"It's alright.
We both had a good laugh too.
Not a whole lot we Admirals can do, other than plan ahead and give out orders."
Iowa nodded solemnly, looking down at the report sent over by the Japs about a new wave of Abyssal weapons and Beasts headed their way, and before her was only a single puzzle piece amongst many others which they hadn't even uncovered, much less made sense of.
She dared to ask her Admiral, just in case he knew about something which she didn't, and being the Admiral whom she knew best, she hoped that her Admiral would shed some light on the situation and make her feel a little better.
"Admiral…
What're we dealing with here?"
Unfortunately, it was not to be as Admiral Jackson's expression soured, looking down at the report and at an enemy which had the advantage of both superior numbers and the ultimate defense against invaders and most forms of espionage as they lived on the ocean floor, where no man or ship girl could reach without the risk of dying simply due to the harsh environment.
"I don't know.
Whatever this is, it's hidden in the depths where we cannot reach.
But even though we are almost incapable of uncovering what their secrets are, we can at least try to prepare ourselves to try and respond quickly to whatever they throw at us.
Getting ourselves some weapons is one thing, and if they want to take the fight to us, we need to be ready."
Iowa nodded, Admiral Jackson leaning back in his seat and sipping from his cup of steaming coffee as he continued.
"She also told me to be prepared for land Beasts and Princess expy elite units which will command the rank-and-file Abyssals, since if the command structure ain't broke, they probably ain't going to fix it.
It's just that the land Beasts will prioritize mobility over firepower, since last time we held off against a land assault, the Beasts of the Princesses were too heavy and couldn't move on land, so I have no doubt that they've already rectified that weakness during this past decade.
I want us to be prepared for total war, or risk complete annihilation."
Iowa's expression darkened upon remembering how she learnt about the American Blitzkrieg, and how the Abyssals destroyed everything on the East Coast through sheer numbers despite bringing their unwieldy ship cannons on land and making them slow and easy targets as a result.
But she held her tongue, instead choosing to nod quietly as she respected her Admiral enough to hold off on the inquisition for now, allowing the atmosphere to settle back down as they leaned back on the back rests of their seats in order to cool down before trying to figure out the shit-storm that was the Abyssals and 'Apocalypse'.