Hey guys, I was just wondering if you were enjoying the story or what you like the most from it. Send me suggestions about what you'd like to see happening in the story and I'll try to make it happen, don't forget to comment and favorite, it gives me more motivation to continue the story :) stay strong, xo -L
Naya's POV
An entire week has passed and we had filmed 5 scenes together. Cassandra's character Kristina and Santana got to know each other better and started hanging out more. Their romantic relationship is beginning this week and it's making me nervous. I would never admit that it's making me nervous but being around Cassandra mixes my feelings terribly. I hate her for being homophobic but at the same time I feel attracted to her. She has something that makes me want to do anything for her just to become friends, and even more. More? Why was I feeling that way? Am I possibly bisexual? I've always been with men but now that she came along, all I seem to think about is her. Nobody knows how I'm feeling, I force a smile in front of everyone except Cassandra, I don't bother because I'm just plain cold with her. I interrupt her whenever she wants to talk to me or turn around and leave while she's trying to talk to me. She doesn't get the message that I really don't want to talk to her, it's not that complicated is it?
It was 9 am and I had to be on set in 2 hours so I went to the kitchen to make myself breakfast but something made me jump. I looked to my left and found Sean, sitting on the couch looking pissed so I went to sit next to him.
-Hey baby are you okay?
-No Naya, I'm not okay.
-What's wrong? Do you want to talk about what's bothering you? -
Yeah Naya, yeah I wanna talk about what's bothering me, YOU are the one bothering me.
I shot him a scared look, what did he mean? What the hell was happening? What did I do to piss him off that much?
-I don't understand Sean, what did I do to bother you? -
What did you do? Why the hell didn't you tell me you were going to have to kiss a THIRD girl on Glee? A new one! Not only have you had to kiss Heather and Demi but now you have a new on-screen girlfriend and didn't think that maybe I'd want to know?
-Why the hell would you care who I kiss on-screen? It's not like I'm sleeping with them damn it, it's just a kiss I-
And I felt a sharp pain going from my cheek to my temple, my own fiance had just slapped me. I got slapped by the man I was about to marry, I couldn't believe it. I was hurt emotionally and physically and that was it. That was the end.
-Oh my gosh I'm so sorry baby please forgive me I didn't mean to slap you please forgive me, I didn't mean to hurt you p-
-Get the hell out of my apartment Sean and never come back, I'm not your baby, here's your ring and get the fuck out of here, I never want to see you again.
-Baby please no don't do this, we have something amazing, I love you so much please don't do this.
He looked at me with pleading eyes but I couldn't even look at him, he had done something I never thought he'd be capable of, he harmed me. I didn't think he'd be able to hurt a fly and there it was, I had a bruised hand on my right cheek, going up to my temple.
How the hell was I supposed to hide that from the cast? I looked at him with icy cold eyes, took off my engagment ring, threw it on him and kick him out of my apartment, along with whatever was his. I closed the door and dropped myself to the ground, crying waterfalls. Why was it so easy for people to hurt me? Am I such a bad person to be treated that way? I don't understand...we were so happy. Why was kissing Cassandra so important to him? Was I not giving him enough time? He knows I can't stand her but I didn't tell him about the kiss because I didn't wanna talk about her. We had a few kisses to share but so did I and Heather, it was never personal so what was so different with Cassandra? Did he feel threatened?
You know damn well the answer to that Naya, you've been taking him fo granted and you know that your relationship would be in trouble when you're gonna kiss Cassandra. You know how she affects you even though you want nothing to do with her. No that's not true, you want her. You just wish she wasn't homophobic, everything would be easier. You would've started by becoming friends, and then gradually you might've become even might've become exactly what you want to become with her, together. You wanted her all to yourself but you can't even face your feelings because of your hate.
I cleaned my face, put on some make up on and headed to the set. I said a few hellos here and there. I felt so vulnerable, as if everyone knew what happened the morning and they were all judging me. I needed to go to the bathroom. We have many bathrooms on the set but my favorite is the one at the end of building, nobody goes there and that;s exactly what I needed. I went inside, looked at my face in the mirror and broke down, slidding on the floor, crying like never before. My life is getting so screwed up and I had no idea what to do, how could I fix it? As I was sobbing in my arms, I heard the door open and shot my head up to see who it was, nobody was supposed to know about this bathroom. And then my heard started to spin, Cassandra was standing in front of me, a shocked look on her face before she ran to me and hugged me.
I tensed, not knowing what to do, should I hug her back or ignore her and tell her off? But I can't ignore the shiver I felt go down my spine when she touched me, it felt magic. I just wanted to hug her back and stay in her arms forever.
-God Naya, what the hell happened to you? Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it? If you want I could go ask Ryan to give you a day off because you're not feeling well, I'll tell him you were food poisonned os he could give you a few days off, do you want me to do that? Please look at me, do you need some ice? How can I help you? I saw you walking through the set with that forced smile and I saw your cheek, what happened?
She looked so concerned and sad, seeing me that way. She was the one who's known me for a week and knew my smile was fake while the others have known me for years and fell for it. She followed me to help me. How could I be so bitchy to her? How could she be so nice to me after all I did to her? And then again, her words came back into my head and I snapped. She should hate me the way I hate her. You don't hate her Naya, you like her, a lot. And I did the stupidest thing I could possibly do. I told her off.
-Get the hell away from me, I don't want to talk about it and I don't need your hugs and pity. I don't want you to tell Ryan anything or anyone else as a matter of fact. Leave me the hell alone, I don't even know how you have the guts to come here and hug me, trying to comfort me. Say a peep of that to anyone else and I will make your stay here a living hell, got it newbie?
I looked up at her and saw her emotions in her eyes, she looked so incredibly hurt. I hurt hermore than anything and I could feel it. I destroyed her. She had tears threatning to fall and she was fighting very hard to keep them from falling. She stood up, looked at my eyes, turned around and whispered, probably not knowing I heard but what I head broke my heart even more. She whispered:
-As if you could make my stay here worse than the living hell you've been making me go through all week...I guess it's just the way things will be.
And she was gone.
And I was back to crying waterfalls.
And I just understood why I was crying before.
I wasn't heartbroken from Sean's actions, I was angry but relieved.
I was single and now I know what I'm supposed to do.
Stop going against my feelings and change.
I had to make it up to her, the only one who cared enough to come ask if I was okay.
I had to change for her and make her smile.
I'm so sorry Cassandra.