(a/n) I don't even know if anyone still cares about this story, but I watched the movie again tonight while listening to 'the end of all things' by panic at the disco and finally figured out how to end the story.
17
I sat outside the next morning, the winter morning welcoming me with the twinkle of snow. The wind guiding away the steam from my coffee as it rose from my mug, and my breath looked like dragons smoke. I was cold, but the world had never been so beautiful.
I smiled to myself - a little smile, one that crept onto my lips as thoughts ran through my head. I was tired, and my thumb brushed over the surface of my warm cup as it had Illamay's cheek before I had kissed her at the party. We had been on that same step, and I had never known how much I wanted - needed - something until I kissed her.
She had shared my bed with me. I'd been with 20 other girls before, but it was something about being with her under those sheets with her that made it feel like the first time.
I was remembering how it felt to have her close when she sat next to me, giving a sigh, and staring out into the snow covered campus, admiring it as I was.
It took me a moment to recognise her, because her dark fur was covered by a bright red and yellow jumper. My RoR's jumper.
I couldn't say anything, I just smiled and put my arm around her.
"It's very soft," she said, resting her head on my shoulder.
"Softer than me?" I asked, glancing at her as she staring out into the school.
"Softer than anything. Smells like you, too."
A silence lingered for a moment, but not in a bad way. It was a peaceful kind of quiet, like the one that engulfs you as you fall asleep.
"Johnny, do you remember the day you asked me out?"
"Yes," I replied quietly.
"Do you remember how I said no?"
"Yes. How could I forget?"
"Well, if you were to ask me again, I probably wouldn't say no."
"Do you think we could make it work?" I asked, holding her a little closer.
"I'd be willing to try," she told me, looking up at me for an answer.
I smiled, and kissed the top of her head. "I'd be willing to try, too."
We got married after we graduated, and she wore a black dress because she hated how white clashed with her fur. I became a scarer, like the rest of my family, and she a trauma psychologist, and we lived in an apartment in the big city, close to my work.
I wish I could say we lived happily ever after, but this story is about the one that got away.
I had been a scarer for just five years when I was shot, trapped, and held captive by a family in Texas. I was there for three days, and lost a half a horn.
After that I just couldn't cope. I couldn't scare anymore, and Illamay couldn't sleep next to me because the night terrors were so bad that I had hurt her on multiple times.
She tried so hard to help me, but the only thing that made anything better was whiskey, because every time I looked in the mirror, and saw my single horn, it all came back to me - the burning of the bullet as it sat beneath my flesh, the man who cut off my horn with his hunting knife and knelt on my neck until I passed out so he could do so, and the feeling of thinking I'd never see Illamay again as I sat in the darkness, surrounded by metal bars. I would never forget the feeling of thinking the last thing I was going to see before I died were a pair of hateful eyes, when all I wanted was the sunset.
I was arrested for being drunk and disorderly one night a few months later and sent to jail for property damage. Illamay sat on the opposite side of the little window, our little girl on her knee. She told her, Cassie, to go ask the security guard how his day was, and as Cassie skipped away, Illamay covered her face and sighed.
She stayed that way for a few moments before looking up at me with teary eyes. It killed me to know that I was the reason she was crying.
"In these past years, many, many things have changed, Johnny. We graduated, got jobs, started a family, and those were good changes. Then the incident happened," she shifted her gaze to my broken horn for a moment before returning it to the table.
"Things changed for the worst after that, and you haven't been the same since. I cant-" her voice broke and she shifted in her seat, "I can't do this anymore. I can't keep coming home, hoping that you've been sober enough to look after Cassie. I can't keep sleeping on the couch because I'm scared you'll attack me."
"Illamay-" she cut me off before I could finish my plea.
"Whether I'm near or far, I'll always be yours, Johnny. I've loved you since university, and I don't believe I'll ever stop, but I need to do what's best for Cassie and I. I'm going to stay at my Mums, and taking Cas with me. I'll put in for a divorce on Monday." Tears rolled down her cheeks as she stood, clutching her handbag.
"No, Illamay, please - wait!" I called, banging on the glass. I saw the security guard step towards me, and Illamay take the hand of our little girl and escort her away.
It was the last time I ever saw her, and I had never cried so hard.
As Illamay left the prison, her car skidded on the back roads. She froze to death after being thrown from the car. Cassie was three, and managed to escape with only a broken arm. Cassie is now 6, and it makes me sad to look at her at times. She has my purple fur, and two little horns, but her ears droop like her mother's, and her eyes are the colour of peaches. On a bad day I can't look her in the eye, but when she's smiling, it takes back to the night when a storm - one that was outside and not in my head - kept me awake, and the most beautiful, non-scary monster in the whole world was falling in love with me, and I was falling in love with her. Sometimes that makes me cry more.
(A/N okay that the end. Tell me what you think. It might even write some fluff based on these two if you guys want. Maybe.