Seven: Torn

Buffy stared at the ceiling as she lay in bed, Faith's lips moving over her neck, gentle and loving.

She hadn't known the other slayer was capable of such affection.

Faith moved and looked down at Buffy.

"You ok?" She asked, her brow creasing into a small frown.

Buffy frowned back a little, not too sure of what to say. She didn't even know how she agreed to come back to Faith's place.

"Yeah...yeah, I just-"

Buffy sat up and Faith moved to the side, holding the sheet to her chest as Buffy did the same.

Was it not...good?" Faith asked but she sounded a little more pissed than worried.

Faith knew what she brought to the table and not once had she ever been told she wasn't good.

"No, no it was. I just...um-"

"Then what is it? I didn't push you to come back here and you seemed like you enjoyed it." Faith said with a grin, even though she was a little exasperated that something was wrong with Buffy and she wasn't saying what that was.

Buffy smiled a little.

"I did."

Faith sat behind the other slayer and wrapped her arms around the blonde's waist, nipping her shoulder lightly and sending a pleasant shiver down Buffy's spine.

"Then why did you stop me?" She said but her tone was playful as she pulled Buffy back down, rolling on top of her and started kissing her neck again.

Buffy closed her eyes, loving the feeling of Faith's lips against her skin.

God it had been so long!

She held everything back with Angel. They couldn't do this, ever, and it drove Buffy crazy that she couldn't release what she was feeling, but with Faith, she had done that last night and it had felt amazing.

She hadn't been gentle and neither had Faith.

They both let everything go and just did whatever they felt was right.

Buffy had felt how much Faith wanted her and she wondered if Faith had felt how angry Buffy was, at everything.

She was partly angry at Faith herself because she hated how she felt when she was around the other girl.

Faith made her feel like something akin to a primal nature and Buffy always tried to keep it clean and simple but Faith...she was complicated and she liked to try things. She liked to try everything.

Nothing could shame her and she didn't care what it was; if she wanted it, she would find a way to get it. If Faith hadn't of been that way, Buffy wouldn't be here in her bed.

Faith had kept to her word. She hadn't pushed Buffy to do this.

The other slayer had come of her own free will and had done things that she now hated herself for.

She felt dirty but Faith revelled in that feeling; she loved the feeling of doing something that people would be shocked by if they ever found out but she also cared about Buffy enough to keep her mouth shut if that's what the other girl wanted.

Faith moved up and grinned as her fingers skimmed the sensitive flesh of Buffy's hip and lower, silently promising that she would make her feel good again.

Buffy's jaw tightened and she put a hand on Faith's shoulder to stop her from going any further.

Faith froze as Buffy made her look at her.

"This means nothing."

Faith licked her lips, frowned and then nodded that she understood.

It wasn't good enough, not for Faith but if this was the only way she got to be with Buffy, she'd take it.

Buffy then rested her head back as Faith took her to that place that made her feel alive again. ...

When Faith woke up again, Buffy had gone.

The dark haired slayer sighed as she threw back the covers and headed for the shower.

The Mayor had bought this place for Faith.

He had said that he couldn't have one of his employees living in a dusty and shabby motel room.

The shower was almost scalding as Faith stepped under the water and let it wash over her.

She had hoped that Buffy would still be there when she woke up, even though a part of her knew that the other girl would leave the first chance she got.

Her and Buffy, they were enemies and the night they had last night, it couldn't happen again.

Faith's task was to kill Buffy and that was what she would do. She could do it. It'd be easy...wouldn't it?

Buffy never told anyone about her night with Faith. She was ashamed, she had regretted it as soon as she had woken up the next morning,

Willow knew something was wrong and she tried to talk to Buffy but everytime she did, the slayer would clam up.

That night, Willow spoke to Xander and they suggested going to the Bronze; they thought it might cheer Buffy up.

The slayer agreed to go and that night, Willow and Xander did their best to make sure their friend had a good night.

They talked, Xander made jokes, Willow was her usual cute, dorky self and they danced a little as well.

Buffy actually started to enjoy herself until she noticed a certain slayer dancing in the corner, a guy wrapped around her as she moved suggestively to the music.

Buffy's smile slipped as the other slayer turned so that she had her back to the guy and gave Buffy a wink.

Buffy stopped dancing and looked at Willow.

"I'm gona go get a drink and have a sit down."

Willow nodded and said that she and Xander would join her after the song finished.

Buffy got a drink from the bar and sat down, letting out a breath.

Seeing Faith brought back everything she had done.

"Hey girlfriend."

Buffy tensed as Faith walked up behind her.

The other girl took a seat on the couch opposite.

"So, what you been up to?"

Buffy shrugged.

"Same old, same old."

Faith nodded.

"Cool. But y' know... I'm gonna have to kill you at some point."

Buffy's eyes widened.

"Because I won't sleep with you again?"

Faith gave her an amused frown.

"Oh you don't think you will?"

Buffy smirked and folded her arms as she sat back.

"Never in a million years."

Faith tapped her chin thoughtfully.

"Really? Because if someone is that disgusted by what they've done, they don't normally let it happen again...twice."

Buffy glared at her.

"If you tell anyone what we did-"

"You'll what, B? Come after me? Kill me?"

Buffy pursed her lips, causing Faith to smirk in triumph.

"See? You don't really wanna kill me and to be honest, B, I don't wanna kill you. I kinda like having you around. I like what we do when you're around."

"It happened once, Faith."

"Twice."

Buffy sighed and shook her head as Faith sat forward, picking up Buffy's drink and taking a sip.

"Huh, I half expected water. You must be feeling sorry for yourself."

Buffy snatched it back from her and put it down.

"You need to go before Willow and Xander come back."

Faith scoffed.

"Pfft, I'm not worried about them."

"Well I'm worried about what you'll say around them."

Faith looked hard at Buffy for a moment before finally nodding and getting up again.

"Ok. I get it. I'll go but I'll be seeing you soon."

"Is that another threat?" Buffy snapped at her.

Faith grinned.

"Nah, babe. It's a promise. Catch ya later."

She blew Buffy a kiss before leaving the slayer alone just as Willow and Xander came over.

Willow took one look at Buffy's face and frowned with concern.

"Everything ok with you?"

Buffy forced a smile and nodded.

"Yeah, sure. You guys enjoy your dance?"

Xander smiled that goofy smile of his.

"Yep! pretty sure a girl looked at me and smiled. Then she started laughing and I don't know how to feel about that..." He trailed off.

Buffy chuckled silently as Willow gave him a sympathetic look.

She tried to enjoy the rest of the night but images of Faith kept popping into her head. Her smile, the way she knowingly looked at Buffy when the blonde said something she didn't quite believe...it was getting annoying having the other slayer take up residence in her head all the time.

After about another hour, Buffy decided to head home.

She needed to sleep; beliving that she would feel much better about everything in the morning.

Buffy stretched as she went into her room and groaned as she felt her muscles pull and protest at the way she angled her arms to loosen up.

She yawned and slipped out of her jacket, letting it drop to the floor. She then sat down on the edge of her bed and removed her boots, kicking them to the side.

Buffy suddenly sat up straight.

Someone was in here.

Buffy clenched her teeth together in anger and spun around as she spoke;

"Listen, Faith, I-"

"Faith?"

Buffy stopped, her mouth hanging open.

"Angel?"

He gave her a small smile.

"I didn't mean to just show up like this but you haven't been by in a while, I wanted to check that you were alright."

Buffy forced a smile and got up from the bed.

"I'm fine."

Angel looked at her and walked around to her side of the bed.

"I don't believe that. Something's going on with you."

Buffy sighed and folded her arms.

Angel stepped into her personal space.

"Come here."

She did, wrapping her arms around him as he held her. She closed her eyes as she rested her head against his chest. His strong arms held her protectively and he allowed himself a small smile as she let out a contented sigh.

After a while, he pulled back slowly and lifted her chin, bending his head as he lent down and kissed her lips softly.

She kissed him back but with more passion.

As soon as she opened her mouth and Angel deepened the kiss, Buffy saw Faith and she pushed him away.

Angel frowned slightly.

"Buffy what's wrong?"

Buffy shook her head.

"Nothing...I guess I'm just tired."

Angel nodded and stepped forward, giving her a gentle kiss on the top of her head.

"Get some rest. See you tomorrow?"

Buffy nodded, putting that fake smile back onto her lips again.

"Sure."

She then watched as Angel slipped out of her bedroom window.

She sat down heavily on her bed and didn't bother to change as she drifted off to sleep...

The bed was warm but the body on top of her was cold.

Angel looked down, smiling into her face.

"I love you."

Buffy smiled.

"I love you too. I didn't think we would ever be able to do this."

Angel frowned..

"We can't."

Buffy frowned.

She didn't understand. They were in Angel's bed, they were having sex and now he was telling her that they couldn't?

"Why?"

Angel suddenly wrapped a hand around Buffy's throat.

"Because you'll always be thinking of me." He said, his voice changing from his own to someone else's and then Angel transformed into Faith and she released her hand from Buffy's neck.

"Faith? No...no where's Angel?"

"Does it matter? You can't stop thinking about me, B. You want me, you know you do."

Buffy shook her head, frowning.

"No, no I want Angel!"

"Then why did you think of me when he was kissing you? Stop lying to yourself, B. The truth always comes out in the end."

Buffy's eyes snapped open.

Not. Not Faith. She didn't feel anything for Faith.

Did she?

Buffy shook her head and sat up in bed, raking her hair back.

She needed to talk to her. To clear her mind of all of this.

It was that...or kill her.