CHAPTER 25
Killua closed the door to his bedroom and walked to a small coffee table next to a huge window. He sat down heavily and rubbed his temples. It had been a tough morning of training his nen with his father. Since he had completed his mission, his father seemed more proud of him than ever. He trained with him twice a week to further develop his Hatsu, which - in his father's words – was 'excelling'. Killua pushed himself in training more than ever before, willing to get his mind off Hayuri at least for a some hours a day. His father congratulated him on his efforts every time, something he scarcely did before. He should've been proud and glad at that fact. It had always been his aim in life; to live up to his father's expectations. However, there was a dull sadness in his chest that couldn't be shaken.
Killua looked out through the window at the forest that lay in front of him. It was a nice autumn day, and the leaves of many trees were beautifully tainted with red and orange. He couldn't help but think what Hayuri would've said at the sight. Probably she would've told him to enjoy the view and that he took all of these things for granted. She would've gotten some sweets for them to share and talked about whatever was on her mind. Killua missed her company so badly. He wanted to see her face and feel her presence. Every time that he wasn't busy with training or studying, he would think back to her. It brought him some peace, but at the same time it broke his heart. He remembered how they had kissed and made love the night before. Every day, he cursed himself for being so easily carried away by his anger and confusion. He remembered the last things he had said to her back at the hideout and how her eyes had shone with hurt. It was killing him on the inside.
However, Killua didn't say anything when he came home. He put up his most strong façade and had acted proud of his accomplishment. In a sense he was; he had given that nation an opportunity to build a better future. But he couldn't help feel ashamed of his actions those last days with her. His father asked him how his mission had been; Killua told him about the hunter exam and his nen training; about his life as a body guard trainee and how he had completed his mission. He mentioned that he had met a good ally, who had saved his life once and helped him find a nen teacher. However, Killua wasn't stupid and knew that he could not confide the true extension of their relationship to him. His father had more than once reminded him of the importance of not making bonds with people outside the family, since it could always get in the way of a job. Making allies was all right; getting attached to them was not.
Killua had seen Illumi a couple times since he had gotten home, and kept trying his best to avoid him. Every time he was in his presence, Killua would feel the bubbling anger building on his chest. He had implanted a needle on his brain to control his actions. That alone was enough to make him despise him. But the fact that it was that needle which had prevented him from saving Hayuri in time, made it much worse. Killua wanted to kill him. He knew that, on one part, he himself was responsible for what had happened, but he also knew that his brother held responsibility. Nonetheless, he knew that he could not just attack his brother. On one hand, it would be dangerous – which didn't really stop him now that he had removed the damned item from his skull. On the other hand, he knew that such an off behavior would raise suspicion in his parents and they would look closer into him. He didn't want them to put another needle in his head to control him. He also didn't want to be considered less able to take over the business. He had decided that he would live the life that his family had set out for him, since for now he didn't really have the energy of the need to find something else for his life. He didn't like assassination, but he would cope with it.
Killua was brought out of his musings by a presence that closed up to his window from the outside. He raised an eyebrow and walked closer to get a better look, since it was unusual. A couple seconds later, he saw Canary rushing out of the forest and stopping right in front of his window. He wondered what she was doing there, since it was expected of her to be at her guarding post at this time of the day. Killua locked eyes with her and she softly smiled at him. She then brought a finger to her lips, signaling that he was to be silent, and motioned for him to open the window.
Killua felt a little puzzled at that, but he knew she was loyal to him and did as she had requested. He got up from his chair and opened the tall window. She immediately stepped inside of his room soundlessly and looked around, making sure that no one was around.
"Master Killua." She spoke in a quiet voice and bowed slightly.
"Hey, Canary." He nodded. "What it going on?"
"I'm sorry to bother you, but I have come to deliver a message." Canary said. "There is a woman in the forest that has requested to speak to you."
"A woman? Why would I want to speak with anyone? If they have a job for us they can simply send a request through the regular means." He frowned a bit.
"It's not that, Master Killua. The woman says that she knows you and wished to speak with you without raising suspicion from your family."
"She says I know her, huh?" Killua brought his hand to his chin in thought. "What is her name?"
"She-" Canary's eyes widened a fraction and then bowed with slight embarrassment. "I forgot to ask for her name."
"You forgot?" Killua stifled a laugh at that.
"Well… I was at first reluctant to come for you, so she told me about herself… and I kind of got carried away. Please forgive me." She spoke without looking up.
"Don't worry about it. Will she come here?"
"I had instructed her to wait, but I can ask her to come if you wish." She said looking up again.
"I'll just go to her. Where is she?"
"She said she would wait in the forest to the east of my usual guarding post."
"All right. Thank you, Canary. You can return to your duties now, the head butler will give you and earful if you don't."
"Master Killua." Canary bowed and disappeared from sight in a matter of seconds.
Killua watched her retreat and, slowly, a frown built in his face. Who was here to see him? Such a thing had never happened before to anyone in his family. Killua brushed the thought away and decided to get done with it as soon as possible. He didn't want any unwanted attention from his family. He would quickly see who it was and send her away before anyone took notice.
Killua jumped out of his window and used his God speed to sprint through the forest. Five minutes later, he was nearing Canary's post and he slowed down. He immediately felt a presence further ahead and quickly jumped from tree to tree in a blur. He spotted a figure leaning on a tree and looking around for him.
It was a feminine figure that was wearing a dark green cloak that went to her knees. She wore black leggings and leather combat boots. She had a hood on and he couldn't make out her face. He jumped down to the ground and she turned her head his way. Killua walked closer skeptically, since she seemed pretty wary of him. When his face was light by the sun, her shoulder relaxed and pulled her hood down.
"Killua!"
Killua stood dead in his tracks. Brown skin, black hair, green radiant eyes. Hayuri! Killua thought for a split second, but then immediately remembered that she had died. Whoever was here in front of him, was trying to fool him into thinking it was her. Using her image and his feelings for her. Killua felt rage course through his body and his hands shake with anger. HOW DARE YOU.
In a second, he had the woman pinned to a tree and he was practically crushing her neck with his forearm.
"Who the fuck are you." He hissed.
The woman opened and closed her mouth to speak, but no words came out. Killua reduced the force of his arm to her neck, so that she could speak.
"D-Don't you remember me?" she croaked. Killua felt a pang of regret at doing this, but stood his ground.
"Of course I know who you're pretending to be. But that person is dead." He hissed.
"By a nen bullet, right?" she winced as she struggled to speak. Killua narrowed his eyes a bit and stopped crushing her throat against the tree, but still pushing her slightly to keep her in place.
"How do you know that? Who are you?" Killua growled.
"It's me!" she croaked through strained voice. "Ask anything!"
"When did I first meet you?" he asked and she cleared her throat.
"At the hunter exam. Our hands were linked during the first phase… and the second."
"Do you remember what was the first thing I said to you?"
"Err.. I don't know if it was the first thing… but I clearly remember you underestimating me because of my gender."
"Have I ever saved your life?"
"Yes, when we were applying as body guards. I blocked a blade that was meant for you and received a gash on my upper chest. You cauterized my wound."
"What did you say to me before that happened?"
"Err… I don't know what you mean exactly. That we were friends and that I'd risk my life to save yours anytime?" she answered and Killua's eyes widened.
Everything was spot on… could it be?
"Were we ever been by the sea?" he said as he removed his arm from her neck.
"Yes, on your birthday. You spent half of my savings on sweets that day." She smiled at him softly.
Killua's eyes softened unsurely as he trailed his hand up her arm and caressed her neck. "When was the last time I did this?"
"The… night that we spent together." Hayuri said as she blushed slightly. Killua's hand went up to her caress her face as his eyes locked with hers. He softly touched her features with an expression of utter disbelief.
"I… is this for real?" he said, his eyes still watching her. "I… I saw you die."
"I did… but developed another ability with my hatsu." Hayuri answered. "You know how I could use my nen to hurt or incapacitate my opponents? Or to boost my own strength? When I knew that death was certain, my mind came to one realization. If my hatsu could do all that, why not heal? So I made a vow to not use my nen for whatever time necessary in exchange to my wounds to be healed. It took over three months for it to come back… and as soon as it did I came to find you." She said and, before Killua could say anything else she added. "You… you came back that day."
Killua nodded and then felt tears well up in his eyes. He looked down ashamed and covered his face with the hand that was still hanging beside him.
"I… Hayuri. I'm so sorry." He said with a broken voice and intently looked at the ground. "I've regretted what I said to you back then all this time. I felt hurt and was angry, so I only said that to hurt as well. I didn't mean it at all."
"I know." Hayuri said and her hand went up to his hair, softly combing it with her fingers.
"I realized what you had done when I stopped on my way back… I was so shocked. I wanted to save you so bad… but I wasn't fast enough. I… I watched you die. The blood pool under your head and your eyes become dull. I thought I would never see you again."
"I thought that too." Hayuri said and Killua buried his head on the crook of her neck. He inhaled deeply and she felt shivers go up her spine.
Hayuri leaned her own head on Killua's shoulder and she took in his scent as well. She felt so at peace that, for a moment, she forgot that she was on Zoldyck property. They stayed like that, hugging each other for a long time, until Hayuri moved back.
"Killua."
"What is it?" he nodded and moved back to look back into her eyes.
"I… what I said that night on my room… everything was true." She said and she blushed once again.
"I know."
"What do you think of me?"
"I…" Killua gulped down. He knew what he felt and that he had said it to her when she had been half dead on the ground. However, that didn't make it any easier. He struggled for a couple more seconds and decided that it was now or never. "You… you are my best friend and the closest thing I've ever had to a real family. And… I love you too. I should've said it earlier."
He finished with a glint of resolve in his eyes, which assured her that he was saying the truth. Hayuri exhaled deeply and her body relaxed; Killua hadn't even noticed how tense she had been. He looked at her again and noticed that she was struggling with something. Her hands were fidgeting with her cloak and she was averting her eyes.
"What's up?"
"Killua… there's something that you need to know." Hayuri begun, but soon couldn't find the words. She stopped and looked at the ground. "How should I say this… jeez I'm so stupid I didn't even think of a way to tell you."
"You don't have to pressure yourself into saying something you don't want to."
"No. I want to. I need to." Hayuri said and rubbed her temples in frustration.
"Ok.. eh…" Killua seemed confused at first. "How about you tell me about in a way that doesn't seem too rushed for you?"
"All right." Hayuri closed her eyes for a second before locking them with Killua's once again. "When I woke up after my brain healed I felt terrible. You can imagine that… I felt tired, pained, dizzy, thirsty. Somehow I managed to get to a small city, where an older woman rented me a room – she's so nice, you should meet her sometime. Well, the thing is that even after whole weeks of rest, I didn't feel right at all. I didn't exactly feel sick, but there were times when I felt dizzy and weak. I thought that there had been a problem with my hatsu and my recovery." She stopped speaking and Killua decided to ask a question to help her move on.
"Are you? I mean, sick? Or injured? Or…"
"No. No I was not. At first I thought something along those lines as well. I was pretty worried, so I sat with my landlady and told her about how I was feeling. She practically laughed at my obliviousness and knew immediately what was going on with me."
"Is it grave?" Killua's eyes shone with worry.
"No. I mean, yes. But not in the way you think it is…" Hayuri said and pushed her hair back in annoyance. "This is hard to say." She sighed and both stayed silent for some time.
"Maybe you should give me a clue and I'll try to figure out what it is."
"Ok. Remember that night we spent together?" she spoke barely over a whisper and Killua nodded. "I don't know if you realized it in the heat of the moment… but…"
"But…" he encouraged her to go on.
"We didn't wear any protection." She said and her eyes looked at Killua's face for any sign of recognition. He stayed quiet for what seemed like ages, his eyes slowly widening in disbelief.
"You… you don't mean that…" he trailed off.
"I do."
"That, that you're…"
Killua didn't finish his sentence and Hayuri wasn't able to complete it for him. She simply took in his expression; he had an expression of complete disbelief and shock. Hayuri softly took his hands in her own and moved them so that he held her belly. Killua immediately noticed the bump, which had definitely not been there before. He didn't have any words to say to her, since he was completely and utterly stunned at the news. He stayed there touching her swollen belly, his mind frozen at the realization. After a couple minutes, Hayuri finally spoke up.
"Killua, say something…" she said and Killua was surprised by her voice. Her tone held a vulnerability and fear that he hadn't really heard on her before. He shook his head to clear his mind and looked at her.
"I'll be frank with you." He said and she would've flinched if his tone hadn't been as soft as it was. "I don't really know if I'm prepared to be a father and I had never really thought myself a parent. I'm also a bit afraid a the fact and don't even know how to do this… but I love you and I want to stay by your side. I think that we can do this together and… build a family." He said averting his eyes and blushed a deep crimson. Killua didn't think that saying such a thing would make him feel as exposed as he did. Suddenly, he felt Hayuri tremble and looked back at her to see that she was crying. He was about to open his mouth and ask, but she beat him to it.
"I'm so happy." She said and hugged him tightly, her belly pressing against his lower abdomen. "I had feared that you would push me aside, thinking that I had betrayed you. That you wouldn't want to have anything to do with this. I'm also a bit nervous about this, but knowing that you'll be with me is a great relief."
Killua wrapped his arms around her and held her closer until her tears stopped. He moved back, his eyes intently observing her belly.
"Can I see?" he asked and she nodded.
Killua kneeled in front of her and lifted her cloak until it was up to under her breasts. There was a clear bump in there and he couldn't help but think that she looked appealing like that.
"Four months and a half, right?" he asked and traced the tips of his fingers all over her skin.
"Yeah."
Killua seemed to realize something and stood up, concern written all over his face.
"Oh, damn. I just pushed you into that tree really hard before, didn't I?"
"Yes, but I'm all right."
"You didn't hurt yourself while getting here?"
"No, Killua, I'm fine." She answered and smiled softly at him.
Killua was about to open his mouth to say something else, but the hairs in the back of his neck stood up. He turned around just in time to see a figure landing behind him. Killua took a step back and stood in front of Hayuri. He cursed himself for forgetting that his God Speed had probably alerted everybody in the property that there was something going on. He had been too shocked to even remember that, but now realized his mistake. In front of him stood none other than Zeno Zoldyck.
"Who is this, Killua?"
A/N: WOW. Did you expect that? Hayuri pregnant? It was kind of likely due to her symptoms. Killua is such a sweetheart (with alluka he was at least, right? Hayuri can't be too different…), I would never imagine him the kind to leave her alone.
Hexel-JustAnotherReader: Yesss again, drama drama everywhere.
Guest: Thanks!
Elisablackcat: I wouldn't have killed her like that. Although my boyfriend thinks it would've been a great ending xD.
MadokaMagica1998: Yeah, but at least he didn't slash at her or something LOL that would've been completely tragic.
Elisablackcat: It was a happy reunion in the end… although I had to include the Zoldyck family in this one.
Seijuro-kun: Exactly! Thankfully everything's been cleared between them.