I didn't remember much after I shot Vladimir in the head. I remember hearing Murphy shout my name, and Conner rolling me over onto my back. Then I passed out. I woke up in Murphy's bed and was greeted by a pounding headache. I was sweating and tossed the blankets onto the floor. As I sat up I realized I was only wearing an oversized tee and undergarments, no pants. That was when I had remembered I had been shot. I looked at my thigh and the wound had been treated and wrapped.

There was a pair of pajama pants on the end of the bed and I carefully put them on while remaining on the bed. I could wiggle my toes and all that jazz so I assumed I retained function of my legs and made the brave decision to step out of bed. I stumbled as soon as I got both feet on the ground and fell right for the dresser. I caught myself on the dresser from falling but made a rather bumping noise in the process. I heard footsteps then, shuffling towards the door and saw Murphy as he flung the bedroom door open. "Val?" He said my name in concern as he took in the sight of me barely standing and holding myself up by the dresser.

"I'm fine." I tried to reassure him, but that didn't stop him from rushing to my side and wrapping his arms around him. He pulled me off the dresser and started to slowly move back as I moved forward.

"Is she ok?" I heard Conner shouting from the living room.

"Well she's alive!" Murphy stated as we moved through the doorway. I could see Conner now on the couch, his leg propped up and head leaned back. "Which seems to be more than I can say for you."

"Very fucking funny." Conner mumbled while Murphy further assisted me over to the armchair.

After Murphy helped me down into the armchair he took a seat on the far side of the couch, grabbing a burning cigarette from a nearby ashtray. A comfortable silence fell over use three, a silence I was the first to break, "Who treated my wounds?"

"We phoned a friend." Conner answered me before taking a swig from his coffee cup he had been holding.

"The bodies?" I asked another question.

"We phoned another friend." Murphy said with a pretty stern face.

I wanted to ask about Vladimir, about what exactly they did with his body, but I had more important things on my mind. I looked at Conner, who had been careful to avoid my eye contact. "You really thought I was going to shoot you, didn't you?"

He sighed heavily and carefully repositioned himself, bringing his leg down from the couch to rest both his feet on the floor as he leaned forward and placed his coffee cup on the coffee table. He put his elbows on his knees, cupping his hands together and resting his thumbs against his forehead as he looked down at his feet. "To be honest, yes. Yes I did."

"You son of a bitch." Murphy mumbled, "She saved your life!"

"And I never said I didn't appreciate that! But can you honestly blame me for not trusting an assassin who just a few days before was trying to murder us in our sleep! You can't seriously tell me that just for a second you thought she was about to-"

"No because I never thought that, even for a second Conner." Murphy seemed irritated, more so than me. Yeah, I was hurt that Conner thought so little of me but Murphy was straight up enraged by it. "She took a God damn bullet for you!"

"For which I am grateful!"

"Don't tell me you jackass!" Murphy stood up, after quite violently putting his cigarette out, and made his way for his bedroom.

I stayed still, and in silence, in the armchair now alone with Conner in the living room as Murphy slammed his bedroom door shut. Conner looked up at me, his eyes full of apology but I could tell he lacked the proper wording for what he wanted to say. "It's ok." I assured him with a soft voice, "I wouldn't have trusted you if the situation had been reversed."

"He's right you know. I am a jackass. You took a bullet for me, you shot your own brother for me, and I didn't trust you."

"But…you do now?"

"How could I not?"

"Then it doesn't matter what you thought then. Only what you think now." I stood up carefully, wobbling a little as I did. "Besides, I didn't just kill Vladimir for you, I did it for me too. The bullet I could have done without, but the way I see it we're even now. You spared my life and I saved yours."

"Val," Conner began as he tried to stand to his feet. It happened pretty quickly; I don't know why he decided to try to stand so fast, but when he did he instantly fell forward but I was pretty swift to lunged forward and catch him in my arms. However I knew my upper body strength was enough to hold him up on my own with my bad balance so I made a pretty split second decision to slam all my body weight against him and basically tackle him back down onto the couch. I heard the leg of the couch sort of scratch against the hard floor from the impact of both our bodies slamming down, and we landed pretty awkwardly with myself on top of him. My face was buried against the skin of his neck, my arms wrapped up around him and his own arms holding on to me. I landed basically in his lap and I was quick to swing my legs off him and search for the floor beneath me. I finally lifted my head, trying to avoid eye contact. I could feel my face burning a deep red blush and I was too afraid to look at him.

"Sorry…" I mumbled as I finally stood back onto my feet, separating myself from Conner. He said nothing back to me, not like I thought he would, and I made a fairly awkward exit as I hobbled on my own out to the back door from the kitchen.

Outside it was peaceful. Calm. Like nothing ever happened. Like I didn't just shoot my brother in the head and fall on top of Conner McManus. I sat on an old lawn chair out by the back door and watched the early morning light the sky as a soft fog started to evaporate from over the grass. To my surprise I found myself dwelling the safety of the McManus brothers. My situation seemed so easy really, like a cake walk actually. Theirs was less optimistic. I hadn't lied when I told them no one from my family would seek revenge, or when I assured them no other assassin sent by the Italians would find them. Yet even though I had been so assured of their safety before, now I doubted myself. It was silly, pointless really, because they were grown men who were perfectly capable of protecting themselves…but then again they did need me to save their sorry asses from Vladimir, and they actually knew he was coming.

The idea of leaving them felt so strange. I knew it was what needed to be done. After all, I didn't belong here. But to simply move on with my life like none of this affected me when in fact it was the entire reason I still had a life to live on my own accord seemed like such madness to me. But again, I didn't belong here. This was their homes, their lives to live, not mine. Just like they started over, now I would have to. I hadn't really allowed myself to put too much thought on it since the last few days I was preparing for the worst case scenario, but now I could. Now I was free to choose the life I truly wanted to live, after an entire lifetime of being told how to live. The thought truly petrified me, mostly because I really wanted to just stay here.