I could almost hear Conner and Murphy breathing so heavy outside the bedroom door; like they just ran a marathon. The doctor was looking at my leg; apparently he had been the one who fixed it up for me to begin with. I remained perfectly still, looking up at the ceiling. Every so often I'd steal a glance of him as he examined the wound. Finally, he spoke, "Well, you're recovering much quicker than I had imagined." He commented bluntly as he redressed the wound. "How does your leg feel?"
"It stings a little after I stand up, but I can walk without a limp now." I answered truthfully.
"It shouldn't take you much longer at all." The doctor said to me.
"How much longer before I'm well enough to travel?"
"Travel?" He mused out loud for a moment as he gathered up his things. "Well, I suppose a few days, but if you're really up to it now, I can't say you're not in good enough health to manage a trip."
"Really?" I let the thought sink in. To be honest I had hoped he would have told me another month, just to use as an excuse to stay a bit longer. But now it was starting to hit me; I was leaving the farmhouse.
"Just stay safe, mam'." The doctor gave him a little wave before he left, and when he opened the door Conner and Murphy almost fell through the doorway. "Boys." The doctor chuckled as he walked by the twins.
Conner hopped back up as quickly as he could, almost pushing Murphy back down against the floor in the process. "So, what's the verdict?" Conner asked me first.
"All good." I said simply as I swung by leg off the bed and rolled my shorts back down over my thigh. "Everything seems fine, he said I could get going."
"What?" Murphy was the first to shout.
"Yeah. He said it's healing pretty well, so I should be good to travel."
"So, you're leaving?" Conner followed up.
"Well, if you don't mind, I'd like to pack and rest for the night then get going in the morning."
I looked closely at their faces, both with looks of shock, confusion, and mild hints of sadness. Conner spoke to me first, "Of course you can stay tonight…" His voice trailed off and based on Murphy's face I thought he was going to punch Conner right there.
"You can't be serious?" Murphy looked at Conner then at me, "You're going to leave?"
"Murphy, I told you-"
"Forget it." Murphy turned his back to me and fled from the room as swiftly as possible.
I wanted to run after him, but Conner gave me a look that suggested I just let him go. He walked over to me and sat by my side on the bed, lowering his head. "Let him cool off." He spoke to me softly, looking over at me. "He'll come to understand, eventually."
"So, you're not going to ask me to stay?"
"What good would it do? You've already made up your mind. Besides, it'd be better if you went." I looked over at Conner and he sort of smirked at me. "Don't get me wrong, I wish you'd stay. And let's face it; we both know you want to stay. But, we both also know you can't for obvious reasons. Not to mention it would only complicate things even more with Murphy."
"Complicate things? What things?"
"Don't act like you haven't noticed Val." He sort of laughed. "I've sure as hell noticed. The way he looks at you, I've never seen him look at anyone like that before."
"Conner, I think you're overreacting."
"Either that or you feel it too." He whispered.
"What?"
"Can you look me in the eye and tell me you don't feel a connection with Murphy?" Conner looked up at me and I wanted to slap him clear across his face.
"Of course not." I insisted.
He looked down at his lap and whispered again, "Then…is it me?"
"What?" I asked him, leaning a bit closer to him, "What was that?" He turned his head back towards me; I hadn't realized how closed I had moved towards him until his nose was almost touching mine. His eyes caught mine and I didn't even see him move his hand until his fingertips touched my jaw. "Conner?" I didn't even realize I had whispered his name until I saw the look in his eyes, the look he gave me just before he kissed me. I wanted to shove him away and slap him clear across his face, but I didn't. I let him kiss me.
He backed away from me, and I felt his fingers leave my face. "Is it me?" He said again now, a little louder.
"Conner…" I said his name again, leaning a bit further from him. "I'm sorry but…"
"Never mind. Kind of a long shot anyway." He stood up and didn't really hesitate before leaving, and that's when the guilt started to set in.
I sat there for a moment and just sort of processed the moment. I threw myself back against the bed, staring up at the ceiling. I needed to leave, Conner made that painfully obvious. Me staying would definitely complicate things, now more than ever.