3

"What is all this?"

"Uh, well, I made dinner and Shirosaki cleaned up a bit. Not that there was much to clean since you're freakishly neat."

"You have your Hollow running domestic errands now?"

"Hey, he volunteered. Said something about earning his reward back...Besides, it's the least we should do."

Arriving late due to having an extra class that Kurosaki didn't, he walked in to the tempting aroma of well-prepared food and the startling spectacle of a spotless apartment. Shirosaki is deftly wielding a feather duster to eliminate pesky dust particles in the living room. Kurosaki has a blue dish towel slung over a shoulder and a white spatula in his hand. One word stands out as he takes it all in: creepy. It feels like he just stepped into a Stepford universe and he'll discover the eerily helpful duo is secretly pre-programmed androids.

Then Shirosaki steals a bite of chicken from the serving bowl while Kurosaki yells at him, and Uryuu dimly opens his mouth to accept the offered morsel for lack of higher brain function at the moment. Shirosaki guides him to sit at the table in the living room and Kurosaki brings out the food. Rather than continue to pose questions he doesn't really need the answers to, Uryuu accepts the bowl passed to him and joins Kurosaki in eating the meal.

"Kurosaki, this is exceptional. Can I have the recipe?"

"Sure. Remind me to email it to you later."

Nodding at that, he looks up and realizes Shirosaki isn't partaking. It stands to reason that a spiritual being wouldn't need physical sustenance, but he has to replenish his reiatsu somehow. Uryuu wonders if Hollow can starve or if they continue to grow weaker until they inevitably get eaten by a stronger monster. They won't let that happen to Shirosaki, of course, but the notion that he could be suffering somehow because of it has him worrying.

"Do you need...anything? Maybe Urahara-san could—"

"I'm peachy," he assures Uryuu, easily catching onto his train of thought. "I may be separated from Ichigo but I'm still suckin' energy from him as usual."

"Don't make it sound like I'm some kind of cow!"

"I was thinkin' of it more like I'm the vampire and you're the hapless victim," Shirosaki grins, flashing his canines. "Anyway, seeing you eat is good enough for me, Uryuu. I like watching you put things in your mouth."

Thanks to that tidbit, Uryuu almost chokes on his rice and Kurosaki snorts into his cup of water, splashing some onto his shirt. Making a connection he previously missed, Uryuu promptly turns to the guest blotting at his spill with a carefully blank expression.

"Wow. For him to keep coming up with these cheesy one-liners, you must have an incredibly dirty mind."

While Kurosaki blazes with embarrassment, Shirosaki cackles because he knows it's true. His retort is frail and slow to manifest.

"I don't know what you're laughing about, Ishida just called you 'cheesy'."

"Actually, he called the products of your 'dirty mind' cheesy."

"How pathetic does that make you, limited to recycling the cheesy products of my dirty mind?"

This infantile bickering continues for most of the meal. Uryuu is content to be left out of it. Plus, he has to admit it's not the worst form of dinner entertainment. Until it escalates with Kurosaki flinging a couch pillow and Shirosaki reaching past Uryuu to smack his opponent in the back of the head. Opting to remain neutral, he sets down his empty bowl and gets up to go take a nice, quiet shower in the privacy of his bathroom.

The din has died down by the time he emerges clean and dressed in fresh pajamas. Heading straight to his room, Uryuu flicks off the light, shuts the door, and climbs straight into bed—damp hair be damned. It has been a very long day on insufficient sleep and he is beyond fed up with the never-ending banter of his so-called friends. His breaths begin to lengthen almost immediately.

Uryuu smothers a growl when someone knocks on his door. He sits up ready to tell off whoever it is but pauses at the somber look on Kurosaki's face as he cautiously peers inside.

"What is it?"

"Can I talk to you for a minute, away from him?" Uryuu hums permission and gestures for him to sit on the side of the bed. "I just want to say 'thank you'. Even though I pretty much forced you into this. I really appreciate it, Ishida, more than you realize."

"Well, I'm not doing it for free. You're going to owe me so many favors..."

Kurosaki laughs, "Yeah, I guess I will."

"Including chemistry homework help whenever I need it."

"Which will be never."

"You'll be teaching me all the delicious chicken recipes you know."

"I have all of two in my culinary arsenal."

"Be my living mannequin when I'm designing men's clothes."

"Only if you're okay with seeing me mostly naked."

Both pairs of eyes widen and shy from each other. He knows Kurosaki said it as a joke but it serves to dredge up the inappropriate sentiments he was feeling all afternoon. Uryuu starts to say something, he isn't sure what, when Shirosaki barges into the room and dives onto the bed right between them.

"Slumber party?" he asks, yellow eyes glowing in the near-darkness. "Is that my reward for shadowin' this loser all day?"

"I don't think so."

"Hmm, comin' from you that's practically a 'yes'."

"It means 'no', Shirosaki. Now get out," clarifies Kurosaki on his behalf.

"Not 'til I hear it from Uryuu."

"Fine. Tell him, Ishida."

Since he is too busy scrubbing his hands over his face and resisting the impulse to tear at his hair, Uryuu doesn't respond fast enough for Shirosaki. He reads the momentary hush as uncertainty, inspiring him to slide close without touching.

"Lemme share your bed this once? I swear I won't try anythin'."

"Ugh," groans Uryuu for lack of a better term.

"You're not seriously considering this, are you?" Kurosaki demands. "He can't be trusted; I would know."

Raising a hand with jet-black fingernails to rest over the covered hole in his chest, Shirosaki says, "On my total lack of a human heart, I vow not to get frisky with Uryuu tonight."

"Yeah, because bringing up the fact that you're inhuman is going to win you points here."

"Shut up, both of you!" They fall silent, as ordered, and stare at Uryuu for the outcry. "Shirosaki, you can stay—"

"What!?"

"Yes!"

"But if you so much as look at me wrong, I won't just shoot a hole through your shoulder, I'll take the whole arm. And I won't heal it, either."

"This is crazy! I can't let you do this." Watching Shirosaki dive beneath the covers and get comfortable seems to flip a type of switch in Kurosaki, reflected in his stoic expression. "Scoot over, Ishida."

"What?"

"If you're letting him stay, I'm staying, too. This way even if he attacks, I'll be nearby to fend him off."

"That shouldn't be necessa—"

Leaning in to snatch Uryuu's wrist, he lifts it between their faces to emphasize the silver pendant dangling there.

"All he has to do is get this away from you and you're basically defenseless. I told you he's clever and sly. I told you not to drop your guard no matter what. I told you I'll protect you from him, so let me do that."

Uryuu swallows against a knot in his throat caused by those words. He could argue that Kurosaki is just as defenseless inside his mortal body and the substitute badge is even easier to swipe. It would only prompt him to switch to Shinigami form, though, creating a third iteration of him to take up space in Uryuu's apartment. More importantly, he understands Kurosaki's desire to provide insurance against the burden he placed on another's shoulders to begin with.

"Fine," he says in a small voice, "You can stay, too."

Shirosaki grumbles, "Now it really is a slumber party..."

The ocean is a smothering black all around him. There is no light this deep, but he doesn't feel cold. In fact, the water bears the warmth of a tropical shore. It presses in at him from every direction at once. Uryuu thinks he shouldn't be able to breathe, but he finds his lungs filling with air to speak. He calls out to anyone around him and hopes for anything but a dreaded shark.

Soon an orange shape drifts close enough to discern. Uryuu swims to meet what turns out to be an octopus, long appendages flowing elegantly in the current.

"Can you help me?" he asks it, "I don't belong here."

"Where do you want to go?"

"I need to find the surface, toward sunlight. I don't like the darkness..."

"But the dark can be such fun!"

The voice belongs to a second, silver octopus gliding into view. It reaches out to touch Uryuu's face in greeting, the suckers on its tentacle sparking a startling sensation. Agitated by the intrusion, the orange creature pushes at the newcomer. Uryuu tries not to laugh as their arms become inextricably tangled. They settle down eventually and turn to him again.

"We'll lead you to the surface," says the orange octopus.

"If that's what you really want," agrees the silver one.

"It is. Thank y—"

He cries out as his only friends are swallowed up by a ravenous shark right before his eyes. The shout destroys whatever magic allowed him to breathe underwater and his lungs fill with brackish, cold liquid. He starts slowly sinking further into the bottomless gloom. Suddenly Uryuu knows for absolute certain that the circling shark will devour him, as well, if he doesn't drown first.

Uryuu hisses a curse as he shakes free of the nightmare's hold. He had really been hoping he would be through with them for a while. It's bad enough he can't figure out what is instigating them without his subconscious adding twisted facets of his daily life into the mix. What the hell was the reason for Kurosaki and Shirosaki being represented as octopi? All things considered, perhaps Uryuu should just be glad it ended in tragedy rather than morphing into some weird tentacle porn scenario...

Opening his eyes to dim early morning light peeking past the curtains, Uryuu figures octopi were fitting analogies after all. Aside from a messy mops of orange and silver hair tickling his face, an arm from each man is wrapped around him in an accidental symmetry. No wonder he is so warm. He can't resist squirming a bit in an attempt to loosen their hold. Kurosaki stirs at his subtle movements.

"Wha's wrong?" he sleep-slurs, blinking at Uryuu in concern.

"Nothing. Go back to sleep."

"Liar. Heart's racing."

Only then does Kurosaki notice the reason he knows this is because his palm is resting over said heart, with Shirosaki's lingering above his belly. He pushes his Hollow's hand away before retracting his own. Considerately unfettered, Uryuu sits up against the wall as Kurosaki props his head on an elbow and patiently waits for elucidation.

"It was just a bad dream."

"Because of us?"

"No. If anything, I think you almost made it into a pleasant dream."

Kurosaki pushes up to match his position, leaning their shoulders together.

"So it was about us."

"I don't want to talk about it." Seeing how his sharp comment makes Kurosaki frown, he takes a long breath and confides, "Sometimes I get these nightmares for days or weeks at a time. I've been having them long before you brought Shirosaki here and I'll likely continue to have them after you both leave."

"What causes them?"

"Who knows? A lifetime of self-reliance and recurrent hardships? Post-traumatic stress from countless battles? Your guess is as good as mine."

"Anything I can do?"

To underscore the sincere question, Kurosaki glances down at their hands lying so close on the mattress. He rotates his wrist and slowly brushes their fingers against each other. Uryuu shakes his head in mute answer, not trusting his voice. Lifting blue eyes to meet brown, he instinctively holds his breath as Kurosaki inches nearer.

"Bet I can think of a few things," Shirosaki volunteers, "Best remedy for night terrors is mornin' bliss."

"Does he ever turn it off?" queries an exasperated Uryuu, "Or is he entirely composed of your sex drive?"

"Not entirely," he mutters before addressing the Hollow, "How long have you been awake?"

"Since you called our Quincy a liar." Kurosaki twitches at the disgruntled accusation but doesn't deny it. Readjusting to match their upright postures, Shirosaki continues, "Anyway, can't ya tell Uryuu was waitin' for a kiss just now?"

"What? No, I-I wasn't—"

"Stop saying shit like that, you're making Ishida uncomfortable."

"Well, if you won't do it..."

Light fingertips guide Uryuu to face the Hollow, tilting his head and aiming to claim his mouth at last. Kurosaki reaches out and pushes him away before the kiss ever lands.

"Didn't you swear on your nonexistent heart that you wouldn't make a move?"

"This is different. I'm comfortin', not seducin' him."

"You don't even know what that means!"

"You're just jealous, Ichigo. He'd let you kiss him, too, if ya tried."

"Why are you so obsessed with kissing!?"

"Please stop fighting." In spite of Uryuu's plea being barely a murmur, they react to it as though it were a shout. Shirosaki even deigns to look remorseful. "You two are never going to sync up enough to reverse this curse if you're constantly at each other's throats. Don't you want to be whole again?"

The two exchange a look. Uryuu glances at each in turn but receives no response. It pisses him off. He slips free of the blanket and leaps from the bed with a burst of energy only righteous anger can bring this early in the day. Pacing his bedroom, he doesn't even try to calm himself down.

"Ishida—"

"You asked for my help, right, Kurosaki? So that you could 'bond' with your Hollow and fix this disaster as soon as possible. Yet, all you do is argue and threaten and snipe at each other all day long! Are you even trying? Why should I bother helping someone who won't help himself?"

"He's got a point, King."

"And you, Shirosaki. If you think for one second that you're not equally at fault here...I don't know why you've decided to target me but there's no chance you haven't realized how much it upsets Kurosaki, never mind me!" The fact that he takes the criticism without complaint has Uryuu reconsidering something. He walks over to the Hollow and says, "You've never had a body of your own, have you? Experiencing the world in a whole new way must be so exhilarating. You don't want to go back."

"No," agrees Shirosaki.

"You want more of what this place has to offer while you have your own body to discover it."

"Yes."

"Above all, you're frustrated that this impromptu vacation has an expiration date."

"Yes."

By now those falsely-sinister eyes are glued to him so intently Uryuu doesn't think they'll ever look away. He sits down beside Shirosaki and pulls him closer by the front of his robes until they are nearly nose-to-nose.

"Tell me the one thing you want more above all else before you return to his soul."

Uryuu feels the Hollow's breath stutter out as the yellow of his eyes narrows to a crescent. Whispering his ultimate desire so that Kurosaki won't hear, Shirosaki's pulse picks up with the confession: he wants to be with Uryuu, at least once. It is what he suspected but he had to be sure. Now that Uryuu knows, he must decide what to do about it, along with the insinuations it raises about Kurosaki's true feelings.

"What did he say?"

Ignoring Kurosaki, he acknowledges, "Thank you for telling me."

Unfolding from the bed, he moves to walk away. Shirosaki's grip stops him.

"Uryuu, wait."

"Patience." The Hollow eyes him for a beat before releasing the hold. Uryuu turns to Kurosaki, watching them with mixed emotions. "I'll get breakfast started. Why don't you two chat peaceably while I'm gone?"

In the silence of his kitchen, Uryuu leans elbows against the countertop and takes a few controlled breaths. He wanted to do it. With Shirosaki looking so vulnerable and admitting the one thing he needs more than anything is a night with Uryuu, he wanted to kiss him. Yet, he couldn't do it with Kurosaki sitting right there. He can't do it at all unless he gets the green light from him. And what are the chances of that?

For now, he puts it out of his mind and focuses on making breakfast. The normalcy and routine of it aids in ebbing his anxiety. Soon he is immersed in the process, making mental notes of which groceries he will need to buy this weekend. Since he woke up early this morning a trip to the store today might be prudent. Thinking about the time reminds him that his daily alarm will be going off any minute. Uryuu finishes cooking before wandering into his bedroom to grab his phone and switch off the alarm.

He stops cold in the doorway to see Kurosaki standing beside the bed and staring at the phone resting in a palm.

"Sorry," he tells Uryuu when he notices the company. "It went off so I picked it up..."

The reason Kurosaki has such a dumbfounded look on his face is because of Uryuu's wallpaper. It's an old photo of them from their high school days at a picnic put together by Inoue-san. She was in the middle of passing a bowl of chopped fruit for Sado-kun to take. Kurosaki was struggling to open a package of crackers with fingers damp from condensation on his water bottle. Having just finished slicing a block of cheese, Uryuu was watching him with a small smile unnoticed by all three. It was entirely candid, taken by Kuchiki-san who joined them shortly after.

"No need to apologize, I'm not angry." Granted a pardon, Kurosaki offers up the phone and Uryuu glances at the image before pocketing it. "It's one of my favorite pictures of us, caught in a rare moment of peace. Sometimes when I look at it I can almost believe we're all just normal young adults."

The subtext scrolling across Kurosaki's features—the things he won't say aloud—is that for Uryuu to have this as his wallpaper instead of some generic, photo-shopped landscape it means he still cares about his friends more than he has ever let on. It's irrevocable proof that he isn't half as frigid and stoic as he pretends to be. Ah, well. Kurosaki had to find out sometime. He shows Uryuu a knowing half-smile.

"Yeah, it's a good one. Send it to me?"

"Sure." A quick survey of the room reveals that they are alone. "Where is Shirosaki?"

A cursory search for his reiatsu informs him before Kurosaki says, "On the roof. He said he wants to be alone for a while but he won't go far."

"That's fair, I suppose."

"You're not worried? About what he wants, I mean?"

"He told you?"

"No, but it's not exactly a leap to guess, based on how he acts around you. Are you really going to...grant his wish?"

Choosing to go the evasive route for now, Uryuu changes the subject, "Breakfast is ready. Let's eat while it's warm."

"Ishida," he prompts, catching his arm so he can't escape yet. "You don't have to do it, you know. Even if you feel sorry for him. He's probably manipulating you—"

"He isn't."

Said with confidence, Uryuu meets his worried gaze and affirms the statement with his expression. Kurosaki seems to deflate, letting go and turning around to break contact. If there was ever a time to test the waters, it's this moment. Only problem is he can't figure out how to phrase it in a way that doesn't directly drag Kurosaki's feelings into the equation. How can he ask whether he's fine with Uryuu screwing his Hollow without implying there would be a reason to dissent?

Thankfully, Kurosaki takes the pressure off by conceding to the subject change.

"I'm starving. What did you make?"

They relocate to the living room with the meal Uryuu prepared and dig in. Without Shirosaki's constant presence to serve as a reminder of their predicament, he expects the air to be lighter. The truth is being alone with Kurosaki is almost worse in a couple of ways. The epiphany that he is attracted to Shirosaki ruined his ability to lie about feeling the same for Kurosaki. He finds himself stealing glances at the man placidly chewing next to him and wondering what he would do if Uryuu pushed him against the back of the couch and sealed their mouths together.

Then again, Shirosaki's obsession with him isn't strong enough evidence of Kurosaki's regard to chance it. Just because they are supposed to be two parts of a single person doesn't mean one can't have inclinations opposed by the other.

"I'll see you this evening, Kurosaki. Call me if your Hollow needs his reigns tugged."

"Huh? Where are you going?" Jumping up to follow him to the door, Kurosaki braces a hand against it to keep him inside. "You don't have class this early. Why are you leaving so suddenly?"

"Grocery shopping. Move your hand."

"Then let me go with you. We've been eating your food, so I'll buy this time."

"Subject Shirosaki to the dazzling splendor of our local supermarket? There's a recipe for trouble."

"He can stay here for half an hour."

"I thought you said he can't be trusted."

"He'll do anything you ask," insists Kurosaki with a look that asks why Uryuu is being so difficult. "What's the real reason you're storming off like this?"

"What makes you think I have another reason?"

"Well, you're still wearing your pajamas, for one." Startled, Uryuu glances down to confirm he is indeed donned in a white cotton t-shirt and green cat-patterned pants. "Cute bottoms, by the way."

Glaring in response to Kurosaki's teasing smirk, he strides back into his bedroom and flings open his closet door for a change of clothes. Uryuu hears him walk in and vindictively whips off his shirt to encourage him to leave. Instead, the mattress springs creak behind him. He glances over his shoulder to see Kurosaki seated on his bed with a clear challenge in his eyes.

"Do you mind?"

"By all means, go ahead."

"Kurosaki..."

"I'm not a total idiot, Ishida. The instant I let you out of my sight, you'll dart out a window to avoid telling me whatever it is you're so upset about."

"I'll do no such thing!"

"Then talk to me! Is it Shirosaki? I can make him back off."

"It's not Shirosaki."

He concentrates on flicking between hangers to pick an outfit. Beyond ready to dismiss this conversation, Uryuu longs for the times when neither of them could be bothered to talk about their feelings. What is he supposed to say? 'Actually, Kurosaki, I tried to leave because I wasn't sure I could successfully subvert the compulsion to make out with you during breakfast'? Not likely. Settling on jeans and a button-up, he tenses to discover Kurosaki hovering right behind him.

"If it's not him, it has to be me." Uryuu shakes his head but can't voice his false denial. Kurosaki sighs at his inflexibility and changes tack, "Why haven't you asked me yet?"

"There's nothing to ask. Stand aside."

"The other night, you asked me why he kissed you and I didn't know how to answer because you asked the wrong question, Ishida."

"It doesn't matter, Kurosaki. Let me pass."

Despite his internal debates on this very topic, Uryuu isn't sure he can handle the reality right now. Flirting with the idea of asking is one thing. Having Kurosaki offer it up with such severity is another. He roughly dislodges the human barricade and locks himself in the bathroom to change in peace.

Uryuu is not intercepted on the way out the front door a second time.