Sixteen: Road To Redemption
Author's Note- Hey guys, sorry this is up later than promised but it's longer than intended to make up for it. Hope you guys like it. x
Angel watched Faith sleep. It had probably been a while since she'd slept deeply.
Angel put a blanket over her and she snuggled down even more.
Looking at her now and at the state she was in, she looked younger than she ever had before. She was young! She was only in her twenties and already shouldering so much responsibility, or she should have been if she was like Buffy, but she wasn't, she was Faith and Faith did whatever she wanted.
There might have been a time when Faith would have stood shoulder to shoulder with Buffy in the good fight, but something had happened and Angel's brow creased as he tried to think about what could have happened.
He knew Faith and Buffy had history but he suspected that it had meant more to Faith than it did to Buffy and maybe that is what had tipped the dark haired slayer over the edge.
No matter, Angel would find out when she woke up but right now, he wanted to concentrate on making sure that Faith would be ok.
As Angel turned away to leave her to rest, Faith started twitching as the start of a dream invaded her mind...
Faith was smiling as she lay on her bed. Buffy lay next to her, that warm smile on her face.
Faith brushed a strand of blonde hair back behind Buffy's ear.
"I love you." Faith said, her voice deep sultry but then it was always like that.
Buffy's smile grew until she put a hand over her mouth and she laughed loudly in Faith's face.
Faith frowned as she sat up, the blonde slayer following her.
"What's so funny?" Faith asked, a small frown appearing on her face.
"You. You love me! Faith, it's...it's pathetic." Buffy told her.
Faith licked her lips and the frown deepend.
"I just opened up to you and you-"
Buffy climbed out of bed and started getting dressed.
"I what? Faith, I could never love you and I'm sorry but the thought that you thought that I might feel the same, not only is it impossible but it's so funny!"
She started laughing again and Faith hugged her knees to her chest.
Buffy walked around the bed as she kept her eye on Faith.
"I could never love you, Faith, because I love Angel and he loves me. Always have. Always will."
Just then, Angel materialised beside Buffy and kissed her deeply.
Angel grinned at Faith.
"You'll never have her, Faithie."
Faith bolted upright in bed.
She was breathing hard and she couldn't shift the dream from her mind.
She could tell herself as much as she liked that it was just a dream but she knew the truth; Buffy loved Angel.
There would never be anything like that between herself and the other slayer.
She shook her head and climbed out of bed, grabbing her boots, jacket and duffel bag.
She had to get out of here.
She had almost made it to the door when Angel came around the corner.
He gave her a small frown as he took in the fact that she had her jacket on and her bag slung over one shoulder.
"Going somewhere?"
Faith raked her hair back.
"Uh, yeah. I uh...I can't stay here."
She went to move around him but he stood in her way.
"Angel, move."
"Where are you going?"
"I dunno but I can't be here. I just can't."
She brushed past him and he grabbed her arm, stopping her.
Her first instinct told her to lash out, to hit him, to stake him even, but she held back and glared up at him instead.
"You can't stop me from leaving."
"I know I can't but the question is, why are you?" He asked as he gently released her arm.
Faith licked her lips.
"I can't change what happened...I can't change any of it."
"I know that."
"I mean, I'm sorry for everything that's gone on and what I've done and all the chances I didn't give people but...It still doesn't change anything. The guilt, the pain, the hurt, it's still there, right? It never goes away."
Angel nodded in agreement, his face a mask of hurt and torment.
"Right, but you're sorry so that's a start. It's a good start."
Faith shook her head. She didn't know if her remorse would be enough to help her get through this.
It was also the fact that she was holding something back.
Faith looked at Angel.
Maybe she could tell him the truth. Maybe if she did, then he would know that she was being completely honest with him and they might have a chance at working things out as friends.
It sounded crazy in her head. A vampire and a vampire slayer as friends, but if Buffy and him could be lovers, then why couldn't he and Faith be friends?
It wasn't too much of a stretch, if anything, it should be easier.
Angel looked at her as if sensing something.
"Is there something you want to talk about?"
Faith nodded her head slowly as she thought about it.
"Yeah...actually."
Angel nodded and gestured for her to go back inside.
"Um...could we maybe take a walk?" Faith suggested.
Angel nodded and grabbed his coat.
"Sure."
They walked in silence for a long while before Angel spoke up.
The darkness was comforting to them both because of what they were despite how much they both hated what they had become. They were both so different and yet so alike. It was probably why Faith found talking to Angel so easy...most times but this, it was different. It was a confession and she wasn't sure how the vampire would take it.
"So, you wanted to talk to me about something?"
Faith nodded and cracked her knuckles.
"Yeah...it's um, it's about Buffy."
Angel's brow creased slightly at the mention of the blonde slayer's name.
"Buffy?"
Faith nodded.
"You know about what happened between us, so you know that...damn, Angel, I don't know how to say this."
"Just say it, Faith." Angel said softly.
They stopped walking and Faith scratched the back of her head as she fought to find the right words.
"With me and Buffy, it was about sex, well for her it was anyway, but for me...it was more than that."
Angel listened patiently.
Faith sighed.
"Angel, I got feelings for your girlfriend."
Angel nodded.
"Well...technically she's not my girlfriend anymore."
"Ex-girlfriend then, whatever! The point is that I have feelings for this girl and...I don't want to."
Angel nodded.
"So you know how I feel."
Faith nodded her head slowly as she put her hands in the pockets of her leather pants.
"I guess I do... It sucks."
Angel nodded, his brown eyes widening slightly.
"It does...Does she know?"
Faith shrugged.
"I tried tellin' her once but she...it didn't work out, alright? So now I'm keepin' my feelings to myself. It's better this way."
"It hurts though, doesn't it?"
Faith nodded.
"But I gotta get over it, right? I mean what am I gonna do? Mope over her every single day of my life like-"
"Me?"
Faith shut her mouth, a look of sadness and regret flashing in her eyes.
"I didn't mean that. I just meant that-"
Suddenly, Faith was knocked on her back as something attacked.
Faith sprang to her feet, whipping out her stake and spinning in the direction of the attacker.
Angel was throwing punches as the thing attacked him with lightning fast moves.
Faith ran at it but it kicked out at her, sending her flying and crashing into a brick wall, making it crumble under her from the impact.
Faith grunted as she fell and heard Angel call out as the demon slashed at Angel's chest.
"Faith!" He shouted.
She shook her head, trying to clear the haze.
She got to her feet but as she did, something flashed past her and joined in the fight.
She heard the demon scream and blinked, trying to clear her vision.
Angel was back on his feet and punching the demon again but he had help.
Faith frowned a little, unsure if the hit she'd taken was messing with her head.
"Buffy?" She whispered.
Sure enough, there was the blonde, swinging, kicking and punching for all she was worth.
Faith forced herself to stand as the demon knocked the blade from Buffy's hand and sent it skittering across the grass.
Buffy landed on her back as Angel tried to keep it off of her.
Faith moved quickly, grabbing the dagger and running at the demon.
While it was being distracted by Angel, Faith plunged the dagger into the demon's back.
It howled in pain as Faith pushed the dagger in deeper, feeling it's tough skin under her hands.
It fell forward with Faith on it's back and when she landed, she pulled the dagger back out, her hands covered in the demon's blood.
Faith looked down at her hands and dropped the dagger as she shook her head.
"No...no, not again. I won't. I haven't-"
Buffy turned as she went to Angel but Angel brushed past her and went on his knees where Faith was knelt on the ground, staring at her blood covered hands.
"Hey, it's ok. It's not human blood."
"Angel, I can't..." Faith sobbed.
Angel pulled her into a hug and held her as she cried.
Buffy glared at the scene before her.
"So you're what? Best friends now?"
Angel looked up at the other slayer and his jaw tightened.
"She needs help, Buffy."
"Help? She needs to be sectioned! Do you know what she did to me?!"
Angel shook his head.
"No but I'm willing to give her a chance. No matter whats she's done."
Buffy clenched her teeth.
"No. She's had her chance. I'm bringing her in."
Faith looked up as if realising that Buffy was there for the first time.
"Buffy..."
"I don't know what you did to trick him, Faith, but it won't work on me."
"I didn't trick him...I need help."
"Why should I believe anything you say? You took my body, Faith. You...used it and did God know's what with it."
"I didn't do anything. I was going to but I...I stopped." Faith admitted.
Buffy frowned at her.
"I know. Riley told me everything, but that doesn't mean that you get off light for this."
Angel frowned.
"Riley?"
Faith looked up at Angel, knowing the hurt it would cause him to know that Buffy had someone new in her life. Someone she loved other than him.
"It's her boyfriend." Faith told him gently.
Angel looked like he'd been run through with a sword all over again.
He stood, pulling Faith to her feet carefully and looked at Buffy.
"I am going to help Faith. Now you can stay here, talk to her, see what she has to say-because there's a lot going on that you don't have a clue about-
"Angel." Faith whispered in a warning tone.
"It's alright, That's your business. I'm not gonna say anything." He assured Faith.
He then looked back at Buffy.
"-but if you can't give Faith a second chance, go home."
Buffy's gaze switched from Faith to Angel and back again.
The blonde folded her arms.
"Alright...I'll hear what you have to say." She said to Faith.
Angel nodded to the dark haired slayer and she gestured for herself and Buffy to take a walk.
Angel said he wouldn't go far and would meet them back at his place.
Buffy walked alongside Faith, never taking her eye off the other girl for long.
She still felt that Faith was unpredictable.
"So what? Are you gonna tell me that one day you woke up and Found God?"
Faith smirked, despite how the comment made her feel.
Buffy didn't believe she was capable of change and just knowing that, hurt Faith more than she would ever admit to.
"No. I didn't. But I took a job here. I was hired to kill Angel and I took it because...because I wanted him to kill me. I wanted everything I felt to be over.
I wanted to be over." Faith told her but her voice didn't shake and it was said in a very matter of fact tone.
Buffy stopped walking and Faith looked down at the ground.
"I...I didn't know that. I didn't know you felt so much guilt."
Faith didn't look at her as she replied;
"Well now you do."
They started walking again.
"I know you can't ever forgive me, B. And if I knew of some way to make everything better, I'd do it."
Buffy only nodded.
"So what's the plan now?"
"I dunno...Angel said he'd help me but I don't know how."
Buffy stopped walking again and turned to Faith.
"Help yourself. Turn yourself in."
Faith stared at the other slayer and her expression turned stoic.
"Is that what you want me to do?"
Buffy shrugged.
"It's what I think you should do."
"Would that help? Would it make me seem like a better person in your eyes?" As soon as Faith said it, she regretted it and she mentally kicked herself for letting something like that slip.
Buffy frowned.
"Why would it matter what I think?"
Faith frowned deeply and shook her head, starting to walk away.
"It wouldn't. Forget I said anything."
Buffy kept up with her.
"Faith, what's going on? What are you not telling me?"
"It's nothing you haven't heard before." Faith muttered.
"What?"
"Nothing! Just...leave me alone, alright?"
Buffy frowned and stopped in front of Faith so she couldn't walk anywhere.
"You need to be straight with me, Faith. You owe me that."
Faith licked her lips.
"I've been straight with you before, remember? It didn't work out too well."
"Wait...this is because of-"
"Yeah, because of that. Now can we just drop it?"
"No. We can't just drop it. Why is this bothering you so much?"
"Gee, I dunno. Maybe it's cause' I hate the way I feel. I hate the fact that everytime I close my eyes, I see that guy bleeding to death right in front of me and maybe it's also because I love someone who can't even give me a chance!"
Buffy pursed her lips.
"Faith, you and I are the same in some ways but that doesn't mean you have feelings for me."
Faith's head snapped towards Buffy and her eyes darkened.
"Don't tell me how I fucking feel! You think I like this?! You think I like walking round thinking about you all the time?! I don't want this anymore, B! In fact...in fact, I wish I'd never come to Sunydale."
Buffy frowned at Faith.
Ok so Buffy didn't feel about Faith in the same way but she cared about her.
She was another slayer, her kin. How could she not care about her?
Yes, she'd spent a long time hating the other girl but a part of Buffy would always want to reach out to Faith. To help the girl.
"You don't mean that..." Buffy said sadly.
"Don't I? Think about it, B. I was living my life just the way I wanted, then I come to Sunny D and meet you and then...I fuck it all up. I shoulda stayed where I was."
Buffy took hold of Faith's shoulders and she noticed the way the other girl relaxed in that hold.
"Don't say that! I know we haven't had the best relationship but being with you, even though I know it's not who I am, I felt alive for the first time in a very long time."
Faith looked up at the other slayer.
"You did?"
Buffy nodded.
"I didn't mean sleeping with you, it was good but I meant the slaying thing."
Faith nodded.
"Sure. That makes sense. Guess you gotta be a guy to appreciate what I can do." She said with a cheeky gin.
Buffy let go of her shoulders and gave her a slight nudge.
"I don't regret you, Faith."
Faith gave her a small smile.
"I don't regret you either."
The two slayers smiled, embraced (maybe a little awkwardly) and then pulled apart.
Buffy folded her arms.
"So I guess we should head back to Angel's."
"Sure, there's just something I gotta do first."
Buffy didn't want to question Faith so she just nodded.
"Ok. I'll meet you back at Angel's."
Faith nodded and watched as the other slayer turned away.
"Buffy?"
The blonde stopped and turned around to look at Faith, a smile on her face.
"Yeah?"
"I'm sorry...for everything."
Buffy nodded and her smile turned warm.
"I forgive you, Faith."
Faith smiled a little as she turned away then, shoving her hands into her jacket pockets as she walked away, and Buffy did the same.
The smile on Faith's face brightened considerably.
"That's all I needed to hear, B." She whispered to herself as she headed in the direction of the police station.
Ready to begin her journey on the road to redemption.
A/N- Reviews are welcome. I like to know what you guys think. X