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Last prompt in the ' Angel' arc!

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23. Angel

Castiel was nearly asleep when the bed dipped and a familiar weight settled on the other side. He cracked his eyes open and smiled when he saw Dean facing him. Dean never failed to bring a smile to his face and time and time again, he wondered just how he had been so lucky as to deserve this beautiful person. He knew of Dean's low self-esteem and how he believed that he did not deserve anything good and Castiel desperately wished that he could get rid of that evil idea once and for all. If anything, he didn't deserve Dean!

"It is nearly midnight," Castiel mumbled, yawning softly. "And I was nearly asleep."

"Sorry, Cas," Dean grinned. Castiel didn't trust that grin one bit.

"No you're not," he said.

"True," Dean admitted. "But you owe me something and you're not going to sleep without giving it to me."

Castiel racked his brain for a moment. Oh! That was right! He hadn't given Dean his goodnight kiss yet! So Castiel leaned in and softly captured Dean's lips with his own. He enjoyed their goodnight kisses immensely. They weren't dry and reeked of morning breath like their morning kisses (though Castiel was definitely not complaining) and they weren't passionate and aggressive like the ones that Dean loved to inflict on him (kisses that always left him hot and flustered and overwhelmed by his body's response and wanting more). They were slow and deep and Castiel always felt light as a feather when they ended.

"Can I go to sleep now?" Castiel said.

"Sure thing, my fine-assed angel." Dean lightly squeezed Castiel's ass. Castiel jerked in surprise at the sudden sensation but then looked down sadly. Dean immediately saw this. "Hey, what's up, Cas?"

"It's nothing," Castiel murmured, burying his face in Dean's shirt. "Let's just go to sleep."

"Hey, that's my line. Not yours." Dean gently removed Castiel's face from his shirt, forcing him to look into Dean's green eyes. "Tell me what's wrong, Cas. Was it because I touched your ass? I won't do that again if you don't like it."

"It's not that, Dean," Castiel said. "I enjoyed that. It's just…" He sighed. "Why do you call me an angel? I was far from an angel, even when I had my grace. I've done horrible things, Dean – things that an angel should not do. And yet despite all of that, I was still lucky enough to be blessed with a lifetime with you." He looked down and blinked rapidly to dispel the stinging wetness in his eyes. Was this what it felt like to be truly sad? Castiel had felt sadness, yes, but never as painful and poignant as this. "What did I do to deserve you, Dean?"

"Hey. Look at me, Cas." Castiel reluctantly met Dean's eyes and Dean brushed at a stray tear in the corner of his eyes. "Yeah, you did stupid and horrible crap. But so've Sammy and I. I tortured souls for ten years in Hell! I helped kick-start the Apocalypse! And then Sammy went and finished the job! Then I went and jammed an angel up Sam's ass and got Kevin killed! And don't even mention all that stuff I did with the Mark of Cain!"

"That's different," Castiel said. Dean was just a human; he was supposed to do that stuff! But Castiel had been an angel. They were supposed to be pure warriors of God! They were not supposed to work with a demon to open Purgatory and declare themselves God and then help cast their fellow angels out of Heaven!

"How?" Dean challenged. "I get it, Cas. You were the freak angel of the lot – the black sheep. But Sammy and I aren't exactly models of perfection, are we? Freaks gotta stick together, Cas. You did some crap, I did some crap, Sam did some crap. But you know what? We always try and make it right. That's what makes you an angel, even without your mojo. You always try and help and do the right thing. It just never works out that way."

Dean looked uncomfortable with the touchy-feeliness of the moment but Castiel gave him a grateful smile. That conversation had been exactly what he'd needed! And if Dean didn't hate him or think him an abomination then really, that was all that mattered. His opinion – and Sam's, on occasion – was all that he cared about. He didn't care what the other angels thought – he had left them behind when he'd given up his grace and though he missed them, he did not regret it. He would always choose Dean. Always.

"Thank you, Dean," he said gruffly, kissing him in thanks.

"Yeah, well, don't expect that to happen again," Dean blustered when Castiel broke away. "I hate chick flick moments."

Castiel just smiled, knowing that Dean would say all of that again in a heartbeat if needed.

"If you will let me, Dean," he said, "I think I would like to be your angel. After all, you have always been my human."

Dean grinned and ruffled Castiel's hair. Castiel swiped at his arm and then let out a yawn.

"Goodnight, Dean," he said, his eyelids drooping.

"'Night, angel boy," was the last thing he heard before falling asleep, a small smile gracing his lips.