"What?" Sasuke nearly choked on the last bite staring incredulously up at his brother. "Would you mind your own fucking business for once?"
"Oh, I do", Itachi answered looking directly at the scowling young man. "You have until midnight to change my mind."
"You degenerated son of a bi…". "Ah ah ah" Itachi's index finger accentuated each interjection as it was spoken. "She was your mother too, after all."
"You…how can you…" utterly dumbstruck Sasuke gaped open mouthed at the smug expression that was partly covered by steepled hands.
The reprimand hurt not as much as befuddled him. The sheer ignominy of the words that have been used, the meaning they held, the effortlessness in which they have been uttered. The sting that came with the blurred memory of a mother long gone intensified the lump in his throat and the pressure in his stomach, leaving an inoperative brain behind.
"You should watch your mouth dear brother, or bear the consequences accordingly", Itachi resumed after no further response was heard from across the table. Inwardly he sighed in frustration. Sasuke's tendency to verbally freeze like a deer in the headlights when something incomprehensible happened, bugged him for a long time now. Especially because he was well aware that Sasuke had the intelligence to do a lot better. And Itachi presumed that this was one of the reasons his brother avoided contacts with human beings. The unpredictability of their deeds seemed to destabilize him emotionally thus incapacitating any sound reactions apart from those conveyed by violence. But as the saying goes 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger' hence Itachi was more than willing to provide regular emphatic guidance in acquisition of proper response skills. A good comeback was waiting for him at the end of the road, he would make sure of it.
As of now he needed to snap the young man out of the deadlock if he wished to make any progress on today's agenda at all. Slowly Itachi altered his posture, leaning slightly forward while turning his head in a way that his left eye captured Sasuke's right one. Instantly both eyes hardened, locked in a hostile and contemptuous glare that lasted for a good minute until… "Moooooo", a long-stretched mammal sound lanced through the silence, followed by a low chuckle from across the table. A winner determined, the mental score table mutually updated to the newest count.
"Desert?" Itachi inquired, as the tension vaporized.
"Definitely" Sasuke agreed and breathed in deeply. "And please don't tell me you backed it yourself again. The 'creation' you frankensteined the other day was useful for nearly everything apart from enjoying. I nearly broke my teeth trying to eat it."
Oppressing a chuckle Itachi tipped his chin a couple of times, his eyes darting to the ceiling "Kisame seemed to savor it though." Gazing back at the skeptical mien of his brother Itachi eventually smiled somewhat darkly "although he did name it 'deuce feces'."
"How fitting. And Kisame was only able to bite through the fucking bricks because of his teeth implants. Daft shark freak!" Sasuke murmured while he was gathering the used dishes.
"Well he always preferred things right on the edge" said Itachi while he activated the coffee maker. Having the coffee running he took two perfectly looking Strawberry Cheesecake pieces out of the fridge. Placing the cake slices on the table he went back to get the now filled mugs. Returning with the beverages he put one cup down near Sasuke's almost empty plate. "Patience is a virtue Sasuke" Itachi sighed unimpressed at the innocent visage that was practically inhaling the sweet treat.
Not caring in the least Sasuke finished the cake and took a nip from his coffee. "Is there…" he started and stopped at once as the other slice was moved into his field of vision. "Thanks 'tachi" he mumbled while happily munching on his second piece. The other just reclined in his seat with a steaming mug of coffee clasped in one hand. While observing the obliteration of his sugary offering another idea unfolded in his mind. 'Was there a possibility to get Sasuke to open up in a surrounding that involved cakes?' he wondered and sipped leisurely at the dark liquid. 'Probably Hidan can suggest an appropriate café. As a java shop nomad he should know of a suitable location.' Before he was able to scheme further Sasuke finished his desert and began to fidget lightly with his fork. "Is there something else that you would like?" Itachi put his cup down onto the table.
Not actually wanting to ruin the tranquil mood they rarely seemed to establish, Sasuke nodded hesitantly. "Yeah…I wanted to talk to you about one thing" he took a beat until he continued. "You know… this idea of yours… it's just not working for me…" he managed to voice.
"How so?" curiosity slipping through the question Itachi waited for his brother to go on.
Not detecting any taunt in the matter, Sasuke still braced himself for what was certainly to come. "Look, I've spent the greater part of today browsing through the messages. And the more I've read the more deeply moronic it got. I really don't see what I should gain by answering that crap. I get what you want but this whole thing is just not how I would do it and…"
"And pray tell how you would address the issue?" Itachi wasn't willing to let the opportunity go as it was so conveniently presented to him.
"Well I … I … I don't know yet, okay! Fuck!" Sasuke exclaimed annoyance starting to creep over him again. "Just not like this! I don't have any inclination of answering bullshit from people that are so dim-witted that I would rather punch their lights out than read any more of their idiocy."
"So? Did you attempt to initiate a conversation on your own then?" The quietly supplied question was met with silence as Sasuke tried to wrap his head around the idea of him initiating any interaction with a stranger.
"You are complaining quite heavily while not taking any action" Itachi lectured on. "This is a fairly childish behavior won't you agree? If you are looking for an intellectual exchange that meets your high standards do it yourself and spare me the useless whining." Without so much as a pause he continued. "My prior statement still stands. You have until midnight to start a conversation with a person that you are not familiar with. Your time is running; thus, I'd suggest you get on with it." With an unwavering voice Itachi commenced his oration. He set there for a while longer after watching Sasuke's retreating back move away. Taking his cellphone out he typed in a short message. Feeling pleased with the overall outcome of the evening Itachi went to clean the kitchen.
Slamming the door hard Sasuke stomped into his room. With a scowl he turned the previously abandoned laptop on and punched the password in. What unnerved him the most was that fucking Itachi was somehow right. He behaved childish. Still it did nothing to even marginally increase his motivation to follow through with the blasted experiment.
With aversion he looked at the again full inbox and decided to give Itachi's suggestion a try. Bracing himself he opened the advanced search of the page and cringed. Age, sex, relationship status, location, hobbies. 'How the fuck should I know!' Was it better to search for somebody who was demographically alike or located somewhere close? Should he search for a girl or a guy? So far, he didn't give a damn about the profile or personal preferences of the morons who messaged him. They mostly used nicknames so he couldn't even tell if they ware male or female.
For several minutes he sat there undecisive of how to proceed. Catching the time from the corner of his eye he cussed silently. At this very moment he felt utterly pathetic. 'Maybe just replying to some jerk wouldn't take that much time' he thought. Agreeing with himself to change his previous tactics Sasuke clicked on the inbox and scanned through the nicknames. Opening only messages from the names that caught his attention, he reduced the amount to only a handful. 'Well let's see then.'
"Hi stranger, do you know where my pen-is?" 'What the FUCK? Fucking DELETE!' his irritation rising in a millisecond.
Giving himself a couple of minutes Sasuke inhaled deeply once or twice before looking at the next one and closed it just as fast. On the verge of despair, he clicked randomly somewhere in the inbox. The message opened and what he saw made him gawk at it for a moment.
„Hmm…" three letters and three dots was the peculiar message that stared back at him from the screen of his laptop.
"Hmm…W.H.A.T.?" Sasuke asked out loud in confusion.