AN: My apologies for the late posting this week. My youngest son needed some help to collect his new car and after an eight hour round trip, I am finally home; stiff and tired but itching to write.

This chapter asks the right questions.

My thanks as always to SarcasticBimbo and MeteorOnAMoonlessNight for all their help

And of course to my readers and reviews; my thanks and apologies for not answering reviews this week - when the writing bug hits, I need to get it out onto paper before my brain cuts off again.

Stephenie Meyer still owns it all and no infringment is intended

Irrevocable

Summary

It doesn't matter when I live my life, as long as it's with you.

Chapter 9

Bella

This time, I awoke quickly, somehow knowing that not much time had passed. I was in the same room as before, now believing that it was all real, and that Alice and I had switched places again. Determined to find Edward as soon as possible, I placed the hairbrush on the table and strode to the door. Now that I knew its meaning, I was careful not to pick it up again; I had no wish to return without at least giving the situation real thought. I needed to make clear decisions and that did not mean falling into bed with Edward, even though my very being yearned to do just that.

I left the room in search of him, heading downstairs. Within minutes, I came face to face with the very person I had been told to find. She glanced at my attire and smiled widely.

"Hello, Rose, have you seen Edward? I need to speak to him urgently."

"He is at work right now, but I know who you are. My sister said to expect you, so for now, please come with me to the kitchen, where you will be safe until Edward returns home."

Having no other options, I followed her down the stairs and through the house. Looking around at the lack of appliances, led my mind straight to my reason for returning. I knew I loved Edward, and if he loved me then I would have to decide if I could live in a time where there were none of the modern conveniences I was used to.

Silently leaving me to my musing, Rose set the table and proceeded to make tea; it seemed that ritual hadn't changed in over a hundred years. Once she had completed her task, she sat opposite me and asked me the easiest of questions for me to answer.

"Do you love Edward?"

My reply was instant, "I do. You know what's happening? Alice told me to talk to you and then to Esme. What did she mean?"

"It's a long story, do you have time?"

"Nothing but," was my wry reply.

"To start with, my name is Rose McCarty and I live here with my husband, Emmett. He is Edward's driver and friend. My sister, Sara—" here she took a deep breath "—is a witch." She stopped and looked closely at me but I was too far in now to disbelieve her.

She continued, seeing that I had nothing to say to that. "Before we see her to find a solution to your predicament, you need to have a conversation with Edward; an honest one. It's important that you are both completely aware of what will happen if you decide to stay; this affects his life and that of Alice, and ultimately, his parents, too."

"I know, Rose, and I do love him more each time I see him, although I have a hard time believing that falling in love can be this easy. It's as if we were made for each other, but the question is, does he love me in the same way? He's obviously more experienced than me and I am not sure I can be enough for him. I'm afraid that I can't be what he needs; I come from a time when women are very outspoken and I don't want to lose who I am, even for him."

Rose made a noise in the back of her throat and without words told me she thought I was being an idiot.

"Love at first sight is not impossible, I know from experience. Emmett and I married within a few weeks of meeting and I have never been more certain of something in my whole life. Despite the fact that Carlisle is a hard taskmaster, he feels the same for Esme, and I believe that Alice has found the same; otherwise, she would not have asked you to consider this change.

"You knew she and I were different people?"

"Not at first, no, but she and I had a conversation after that first switch, which made me realize that my sister was right. I haven't always believed her and, to be honest, she has not always been right. However, on this occasion, it seems as if she has all the facts correct."

While waiting for Edward, Rose and I spent a few hours talking about the life I would lead if I chose Edward. I found that I really liked her and was certain I would have a friend if I chose to stay. She said that for a short while longer Esme would run the household, but that would not last. Carlisle and Esme were planning on moving into the Dowager House, leaving me to run the household as Edward's wife. It was a daunting prospect and Rose assured me that both she and Esme would assist me if it was needed.

She reminded me that I would only be married in Alice's name and asked if I was okay with that. I assured her that I was, and marriage was not something that I had ever dreamed about or wanted. I always felt it wasn't necessary although I did find myself thinking about it with Edward.

"That doesn't mean that behind closed doors you can't be exactly what you want to be, Bella. How you lead your life is completely up to you." She laughed out loud at the face I made, knowing that she was alluding to our sex life!

Before I knew it, I heard the sound of horses outside and voices drifted from there to the kitchen.

Rose looked up, saying, "Edward is home. He will go to his rooms to change and then will go to the study for his afternoon drink." She smirked as she said he was a creature of habit. "Esme and Carlisle are away overnight and will not be returning until tomorrow morning, so you won't be disturbed."

"It would be best," again with the smirk, " Under the circumstances, if you met him in the study." My face colored at her innuendo, but my snorted answer was that I could keep my hands off of him if I had to.

I followed Rose to the study, where she left me while she went in search of Edward. Her parting words were, "When you are sure of your decision, come and find me in the kitchen and we can work out the next step."

She left the door ajar and I heard her quiet footsteps take the stairs. Edward's voice, loud and angry, echoed through the hallway outside, and I was suddenly unsure. Would he want me? It was clear he lusted after me and we had a passionate connection, but was that enough? Was that love?

"Damnit, Rose, just bring her to my room." Edward's voice was harsh.

Rose's answer was clear and even. "No, Edward, this conversation needs to be where you can talk. There are things you need to hear and lust does not have a place in that discussion, so I suggest you think before you speak and hold your temper." Her voice rose in warning and I knew she had my back, no matter what decision I eventually made.

Edward cussed and swore, telling her it was not her place to decide what was and wasn't necessary, but I heard their footsteps head towards the study, allowing me only a little time to be seated and compose myself.

As he strode into the room, I was once again drawn into his gaze as he virtually glared at me from the doorway, looking me up and down, his gaze burning as he perused the clothes I wore. Part of me wished I had thought more about how I was dressed, but there was nothing I could do about that now and so I did my usual; ignored it.

He went to the sideboard and poured himself a drink. Sounding a lot calmer than I was underneath, I spoke. "Would you pour me one, too, please, Edward?"

Without turning, he swallowed the liquid in his glass and grabbing another he filled both with the amber liquid. Picking them both up, he made his way to the chairs flanking the fireplace. I had deliberately chosen to sit there, knowing that anything closer to him would cloud my senses, as they always were in his presence.

I knew that initially, the conversation had to start with me so, taking a swig from the glass Edward had handed me, and then a deep breath, I began. I explained about my life and how I knew who he was, adding the details I had found out about Alice.

Throughout my speech, Edward said nothing and none of his thoughts showed on his face. I had no idea if he believed anything I was saying as I mumbled through my explanations, probably repeating myself. My words dried up and I became desperate for him to open up and say something, anything, so we could have the much more personal discussion we still needed. I remembered the newspaper clippings and stood to retrieve them from my back pocket. Still saying nothing as I handed them to him, I felt his gaze travel down my jean clad legs, raising his eyebrows in question, but he took the papers from my hand, without saying a word.

I almost sighed when he looked away and I sat down again, waiting for him to take in what the clippings said. The look on his face became more incredulous, and he sat forward in his seat as he looked through all the details, culminating in shock flitting across his features. I could only surmise that he had reached the part about Alice's death.

He looked at me sharply. "Is this some sort of trickery? Where did you get this from?" He stood towering over me and just like that, I was furious with him.

I stood up abruptly, causing him to take a step back.

"Yes, Edward," I shouted sarcastically, "Of course, I faked this information. And for what; just what would that achieve? Why would I make up something that awful? I have nothing whatsoever to gain from this! Everything I said is true, damn it! You idiot, I love you and I need to know how you feel about me."

My hand covered my mouth; I hadn't meant to blurt it out like that but maybe it was better this way. I knew that I would have prevaricated about the final part and was somehow glad I had let my heart do the talking.

Edward was silent as his gaze roamed across my face. His hard expression faded and heat replaced the cold look he had worn through my diatribe, but without another word he strode from the room leaving me feeling rejected. He didn't love me, the thought resounded through my head as I stood there in disbelief for what seemed like a long time, but was probably only a few minutes.

I sank back to the seat behind me, shocked that he had not uttered a word. There was nothing to hold me here now and while I was sorry Alice would not get to be with her soul mate, I could at least be sure that, with the knowledge she had, she would be able to avoid her fate in this time. I hoped it would be enough. I had no idea why Edward had left, but he couldn't have said it clearer.

I rose with new determination and made my way to the bottom of the stairs ready to return to the guest room, and back to my own time. I wouldn't stay where I wasn't loved; even knowing that Edward lusted after me wasn't enough. I trudged up the stairs and along the long hallway to Alice's room, hearing raised words from the other end.

"You are an idiot, Edward Cullen. Bella is leaving now, do you know that? I told you to think before you spoke but you didn't even say anything, never mind letting her know the truth. Do you want to let her go, knowing that she is the one?"

"What the hell, Rose? I am expected to make a decision that will affect someone else's life, without a second thought? What about Mary-Alice? Is this what she wants? I'm confused and conflicted; I have to do the right thing." Edward's voice lowered and was muffled enough that I couldn't hear any further words, but they were followed by steps along the hall toward me. I quickly stepped into the room, walking over to the dressing table and looking down at the brush. It was strange to know that such an innocuous object could be so powerful, I thought sadly, readying myself for the nausea of the return journey.

As I reached for it, ready to end this farce, the door burst open, and Edward raced into the room.

"No, Bella, don't touch it, please. Listen to me for a minute and if you still want to leave then I won't hold you back."

I let my hand fall to my side and turned to face him.

Taking a deep breath, he began, almost desperately, "I love you, too, Bella. I know it has been quick, that's what I have been struggling with. I am married to another, but God help me, I love you with all my heart. It makes no sense at all, but I know it to be true and the thought of you leaving tears me in two! Please … stay."

Taking my hand, he drew me to him, and moving to the bed, encouraged me to sit on his lap. I knew the look he was giving me meant he wanted to kiss me, but for the moment there was more to discuss. I couldn't give in to anything further without explaining the rest.

I found my voice and more calmly than I thought, continued with the explanation. "Alice—you know her as Mary-Alice—and I switch places. Somehow, this is tied to a vanity set that was left in a box which also contained your mother's journals—"

He interrupted, "I know about those, Mary-Alice and I spoke with her yesterday. She brought them to us but there are no words as you describe, written in them."

That information caused me to stop for a minute. "Then it must be something that has yet to happen," I mused. "Rose said she would be able to help."

Chewing my bottom lip I nervously faced Edward again. "Are you sure this is what you want? I have the feeling that talking to Rose and her sister will be the final step, and I don't want you to be disappointed..."

"How could I be disappointed, Bella? I want you and I love you and that is all we need. Everything else we can deal with together."

Searching his face for any trace of hesitance, I heaved a sigh of relief at finding none, and echoed his sentiments, kissing him lightly on the lips. Not allowing him to draw me in too far, I pulled back. "Then we have to find Rose and let her do her stuff."

We stood and he took my hand, leading me out of the room and downstairs toward the kitchen, where Rose sat, with yet another cup of tea.

"I'm staying, Rose," I blurted out.

"I know," she said, "I thought as much; I just had to give this idiot here the proverbial kick up the backside which he needed. I have already been to the village to speak with my sister, and she has asked that we come to her house tomorrow morning and bring Esme, the journal, and the brush. She says she knows what to do." Rose shrugged, obviously believing in her sister.

Rose brought dinner to us and left it, smirking as she walked out of the room and Edward and I spent the evening in his room, learning about each other. With each minute, I fell more in love with him and was convinced this was where I was destined to be.

Stretching, I felt the warmth of Edward behind me and the glow of the sun across my face. Despite the urgency of the tasks facing me today, I wanted nothing more than to lie here and get to know him in an 'in-depth' way.

"It's not time to get up yet," the gravelly, sleep-laden voice came from behind me as Edward pulled me closer to him, planting light kisses across my shoulder. Shivering slightly from the sensation of his kisses on my skin, I snuggled back against him, feeling how much he wanted to stay in bed.

I lay still for a few minutes, relishing how close I felt to him, and then turned to face him, winding my arms around his neck, and pulling his lips down to mine. His hand hitched my leg up over his hip, bringing me closer to his hard cock.

"Can I change your mind?" he murmured against my lips.

"Not really," I weakly whispered back, making no move away from him, returning his kisses.

Eventually, I had to break away to breathe and that brought me back to the events that would be happening this morning. I dragged myself out of his arms and got ready for the day, while he watched me every minute.

"What if it doesn't work?" Edward sounded troubled, giving voice to the thoughts that, so far, I had managed to push to the back of my mind.

"I haven't thought that far, really, and to be honest, it terrifies me." I swallowed and looked over at him while I fastened the zipper on my jeans.

"I don't even want to think of us not being together, you know? But we have to find out as much as we can; it's better to know where we stand, because I couldn't bear it if sometime in the future something happened and we were separated."

My mind filled in the rest; what if we had children? I could be torn away from them all so I had to do whatever was necessary to make sure that, if we managed to work out what we were involved in, we were safe from the unexpected.

**Irrevocable**