AN: If you're still reading, thank you.

Bella and Esme finally meet in this shortish chapter getting ready for the real stuff to come.

My thanks to MeteorOnAMoonlessNight for her pre-reading and to my beta SarcasticBimbo, who got this back to me in the wee hours of MY morning here in the UK. Hope she feels better soon.

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and all its characters

Irrevocable

Summary

It doesn't matter when I live my life, as long as it's with you.

Chapter 10

Bella

I shook the thoughts from my head for the moment and lightly kissed Edward. "I'll be back soon," I whispered against his lips, "Go do some work."

We left the room together and after watching him leave the house, I made my way to the kitchen where I was sure to find Rose, drinking her usual cup of tea. I sat opposite her, not saying anything for the moment and poured my own tea while watching Maggie cook breakfast. Shaking my head no at Rose's offer of something to eat, we sat in silence for a while until the break was over.

"When is Esme due back, Rose?" I questioned.

Glancing at the clock she replied, "Not for another two hours, Bella. I have some duties that I need to take care of, so why don't you go to the study and read, or something? I'll come fetch you as soon as she's back and we can talk to her together."

I agreed that sitting in the kitchen was just making us all nervous and made my way to the study as she had suggested. Making myself comfortable in the window seat overlooking the gardens, I opened what was obviously a first edition copy of Pride and Prejudice, trying to lose myself in the story of Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet. I managed that for all of an hour, and eventually had to put it down after re-reading a paragraph three times without taking anything in.

Deciding that it was too nice to stay indoors, I looked for Rose, finding her in the drawing room, and told her that I would be taking a walk around the gardens. Telling me the way out was through the door at the end of the hall, she carried on with her task.

The gardens were beautiful and my mind imagined living out the rest of my life here, with Edward. I dreamed of the children we would have and what we could achieve together. I knew that Carlisle was the owner of a newspaper and that he had to sell it, but I thought we could avoid that; I had plenty of knowledge from my job, though I had to acknowledge that Edward might be a little reticent about me working. I got the idea that Alice would have a good life with Jasper, much better than the one she would have with Edward. Even if she managed to change her future, what would it be without her soul mate, the love of her life, the one?

I was so lost in my thoughts, Rose made me jump when she touched my shoulder. "Esme's home, Bella. She's waiting in the drawing room, so get along there and I'll be a few minutes. Okay?"

I nodded my head and followed her back into the house, separating from her at the entrance to the kitchen. I had no doubt that she would be making the usual tea and proceeded towards the drawing room, where I knocked before entering; it felt right, and polite to do so.

Esme looked up as I pushed the door open and her eyes widened in surprise.

I wasn't sure of my reception, given that her son was actually married to someone else, but her warm smile welcomed me nonetheless, and I felt hope that we would somehow navigate our way through the problems that were sure to arise.

"So," Esme breathed, giving me the once over with her penetrating gaze, "It really is true, then?" It was almost a question.

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Cullen," was my equally quiet response, "It would seem so. I'm Bella Swan and not Alice—or Mary-Alice—" I stumbled over her name, "Or at least that's what she's known as where I come from."

Silence fell, interrupted by Rose as she entered the room with a tray containing mid-morning coffee. Rose poured and handed a cup to both Esme and myself before settling herself in the chair next to me as if she belonged there.

"Well, this is nice," she grinned at me, amused by the slight stand-off we were at. "Shall we begin?"

"I'm glad something amuses you, Rose." I was suddenly a little angry at her amusement.

"Oh, Bella, I'm just joking; ease up a little. You could cut the air with a knife in here."

I shook my head, smiling despite myself. She had dispelled the tension in the atmosphere with one sentence.

Turning to Esme, she launched into the tale, though she had told me that Esme was aware of everything that led up until now.

"You can see that the woman Edward married, and Bella here, are two different people. I know Alice and I spoke to you a short while ago and I wasn't sure how quickly this was going to happen, but it would seem that both of them have made a decision. Bella has spoken to Edward and everyone is agreed that they want to try and make the switch a permanent one."

"How will they do that, Rose, the words that M—" she stopped for a minute. She smiled before continuing, "It's difficult to remember that she wants to be known as Alice now, although, since she wants a different life I can see why she would want that change ... but I agree." She picked up the journal lying on the table beside her and handed it to me.

I could see that it was so much newer than the one I had left in my living room; was it just yesterday? Opening it at the last page, the words of what I now knew to be a spell were missing from this one and my breath caught in my throat as I realized just how fraught with all the possibilities of going wrong our task was actually going to be.

No doubt the worry I felt was showing on my face. "As you can see, there is nothing in there that tells us what we need to do next," Esme spoke soothingly, reaching out to touch my hand. "But Rose assures me that her sister is most qualified to help us to make your—both of your—wishes come true."

Rose broke the emotional moment, "Don't look so worried, Bella. My sister, Sara, is expecting us shortly and I am sure that she can help us." She spoke soothingly. "She told me that Bella would be coming, and that when her decision was made, we should come to see her. I had no idea what she was talking about at the time, but I knew to look out for her."

Esme continued to look at me, "And you are sure this is what you want, Bella? Your life sounds very different from the one Alice described to me. Why would you both want this?"

I hesitated for a minute and then reached for the newspaper clippings in my pocket, passing then to Esme, "I can assure you, I have thought about this thoroughly and I would not make this change lightly, nor just for the life another wants to lead. Edward and I have spoken at length about our expectations, but more than that, I am absolutely sure that he loves me as I love him. I cannot bear the thought of losing his presence in my life and more to the point, if I don't do whatever I can to make sure that this does not have a chance to tear my future apart, our lives will be fraught with anxiety." Continuing passionately I voiced my determination, "I have to do whatever I can to make sure that does not happen."

Esme unfolded the papers I had thrust in her hands and as I watched, her hand rose to her throat and tears filled her eyes as she read through them. "This is what will happen?" she questioned hesitantly.

"It is what has happened from my time, as reported." I leaned forward and took her hand. "But, I am absolutely sure the knowledge we now both have will change it, even if this switch doesn't work."

I stopped for a moment. "Alice left me a letter, in my time, saying that if I chose otherwise she would still do her utmost to make sure that it did not come to pass." My throat was thick with emotion, "I have no doubt that we would both make the best of our lives, though without our true loves, it wouldn't be the same."

The silence was pregnant with possibilities, difficulties and emotion, broken only by the hitching breaths from Esme. I would have been the same, but I had already known about Edward's death as reported. It must have been a shock to her to read it in black and white, so I chose to walk to the window looking out over the gardens, giving her time to recover.

Eventually she cleared her throat, "Well, what should we do now, then?"

Rose had allowed Esme a little time to get her emotions under control. "Sara is waiting for us and has asked that we bring her the journal. Esme, do you have the vanity set Bella has spoken about?"

Esme rose from her seat, smoothing down her dress, "I do, give me a few moments and I shall fetch it. Then we must see what we can do to change the future permanently. I cannot let my son die."

She said nothing more and left the room. Rose turned to me, "You should change, Bella. It would not be advisable to be seen in those trousers, though I have to say I like them very much." She grinned at me and we followed Esme from the room.

Leading me to Alice's rooms, she chose some suitable clothing from those in the closet and although the dresses were a little short, taking the hem down made it mostly appropriate, at least. Rose shook her head slightly and placed a hat on my head and a shawl around my shoulders, finally finding my attire presentable, although to me they felt entirely foreign. We made our way down to the front door where Esme was waiting for us, exiting the house to find her carriage and driver waiting. It took only minutes for us to be outside a small house in the local village, the front door opening as we alighted from the carriage.

** Irrevocable **