AN: Now we get to the how!

I have to apologize to my reviewers for utter fail - I have been using the last few weeks to look for work, since my redundancy. With that and the urge to write, write, write, they got out of hand.

So. despite my fail, I love every contact with every reviewer and it really makes me feel great to hear you like my story

My thanks to SarcasticBimbo, who is thankfully doing better, for her quick beta of the remaining chapters of Irrevocable and of course to MeteorOnAMoonlessNight for her pre-reading suggestions.

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer reamins in control of Twilight, I jsut control what my characters do.

Irrevocable

Summary

It doesn't matter when I live my life, as long as it's with you.

Chapter 11

Bella

The girl standing in the doorway looked no older than sixteen, but her eyes were as old as the hills and I immediately felt that here was someone who could and would help. She stepped forward and hugged Rose; they were obviously very close.

Stepping back from each other, Rose introduced us all and Sara moved to one side, inviting us into her home. We stepped directly into the main living area and we could see the kitchen through the open door at the rear of the room. Despite the heat, a fire was lit in the kitchen, making the room inviting as we made our way into it, taking seats as Sara indicated.

Once we were all seated, Sara struck right at the heart of the matter. "As I understand it from Rose, you have made a decision that you wish to stay here, and Alice is happy with that decision." It was almost a question and I immediately assured her that we were both agreed.

"In that case," she continued seriously, "I will tell you what I know. This spell is an old one and was cast to bring soulmates together. It will continue to be active for the person who initially activated it, until it is destroyed." She looked at Esme."You understand that the items that will need to be used will eventually be destroyed?"

Esme pulled the vanity set, the same one I had found in the box, out of her bag, placing it on the table in front of us. "This was brought from England by my husband as a wedding gift. Under the circumstances, I am sure that he will eventually understand why it needs to be sacrificed."

A look passed between her and me, wordlessly acknowledging that this was a pittance to pay for the life and happiness of her only son.

"Very well," Sara spoke again, rising to bring to the table a small book.

As she opened it, I saw the very same words that were written in the future, and this became real. I thought I had understood it before, but faced with the truth in front of me, the reality of what we were about to do was brought home to me. It didn't, however, change what I wanted.

"Mrs. Cullen, you will need to have these exact words engraved on each piece of this set. They will also need to be inscribed in your journal so that in the future they will be found as they should be." Sara's look was solemn.

"Bella, each item can be used for one journey from where you are to where you want to be."

Speaking to Esme again, she continued quietly, "You must find one more item, a mirror with space for the engraving exactly as it is in the journal and on the other items. That will be the key to destroying the spell and if that is not done, the items will eventually pass to another and will be ready to be activated once again. Your chance to change your life permanently will then be lost, and will never be yours again in your lifetime."

I drew in a sharp breath at that and the possibility that, if this went wrong, I would never get the chance to be with Edward again.

Esme nodded in agreement as Sara turned to me next. "Bella, when all of these things are in place, you will need to return here with Mrs. Cullen. I can then speak the words to make this spell active in your time. Esme, you will need to box the items and leave them in the dowager house for Bella to find, which will start the sequence."

"What will need to happen to destroy the spell to prevent it from being activated accidentally for Edward and I?" I spoke for the first time, "I want nothing left to chance; I couldn't bear it if any future I make here in this time is torn apart."

I didn't need to add to anyone what might happen if that came to pass.

"You, Bella, must return again to your own time ..."

"But that will be the last use of all the items," I protested.

"I understand your worry, Bella, but you must find the mirror in your time. I cannot promise that it is close to you, nor do I have any idea how to find it, that will be your task. When you are in front of it, speak the words of the spell engraved upon it. That will return you to this time, switching your place with that of Alice and destroying it at the same time." Her gaze became fierce, "It is the only way!"

We stayed only a short time more before returning to the house. Esme arranged for the engraving to be carried out the next day, and contacted one of Carlisle's colleagues who would find and purchase the appropriate mirror. She would then arrange for that to be engraved in the same way as the other items. Esme would then arrange for Sara to come to the house and start the process.

Taking a seat in the drawing room, Esme took my hand. "I know this is hard for you, Bella, but it's our only chance to set everything as I believe it should be, rather than the future you found. I truly believe that you are the one for Edward, and I know you will be leaving a lot of things behind that you are used to, but I promise that I will be here for you every step of the way." Tears filled her eyes. "Thank you, for loving him enough to save him." There was no need for her to say his name; we both knew who she meant.

"Now for this evening, it would probably be better if you stayed in your rooms, don't you think? Carlisle, I have to say, can be very rigid in his thinking and I will need to find the right time to tell him about everything once it has all been started. Maybe I can do that while you are away? He knows Alice very well and would never believe that you are the same person."

"If it will help, Esme, I can leave the newspaper clippings. Surely he can't deny the truth in those?" I stopped for a few minutes, while we both mused on our thoughts.

"Thank you for being here for me, both now and in the future. I do need the time, to clear up some things in my life, but I assure you that I am one hundred percent sure I am doing the right thing, both for Edward and me, and of course for Alice, too."

She patted my hand and left me to make my way upstairs. Deciding to change and then wait for Edward in his room, I then pulled the cord beside the fireplace for Rose. She must have been waiting for me to do so as she was in the room in ten minutes bringing tea and a sandwich for me, while I waited.

"Rose, wait with me for a while, please?" I pleaded with her. "Have tea with me? I love Esme but you are my first real friend here." Rose agreed and poured tea for us both before settling in one of the chairs in front of the window.

"Can I ask you something, Rose?" She nodded for me to continue, "Why are you doing this for me? We don't really know each other."

She sat for a minute and then leaned forward, "Emmett is my soul mate and I cannot imagine even one day without him. Edward is Emmett's best friend, despite the fact that they come from the most different of backgrounds, and I want his happiness, mostly for that reason. So, when my sister said that his soul mate would arrive in, let's say, an unorthodox manner, I was intrigued. She described you exactly, and said that we would need to plan for you to stay permanently. I didn't really understand what she meant at the time, but when I saw Alice, and then you, in Edward's room on her wedding night, I knew that something strange was happening."

She had been so helpful and had been my friend right from the first time we met, and I knew that it would be both she and Esme who would make my transition to this life easier to cope with.

"In my other life," I smiled as I took her hand, "My parents were killed some time ago, and although I have comes to term with that, I have missed having them around. I am so glad that I met you and I know that we will become the best of friends, and I hope that in time Esme and Carlisle will be as close to me as my parents were."

Rose hugged me just as Edward opened the door. He frowned a little when he saw my interactions with her, and I could see that he would have to be educated a little. I would choose my own friends, no matter what anyone said, and I was sure that we would eventually be on the same page.

Rose left, promising to bring our evening meal to the room and Edward proceeded to change his clothes while I tried not to ogle him, failing abysmally. He just smirked and eventually came over to the sofa, pulling me onto his lap.

"What did you do today, my Bella?" His breath whispered over the skin on my neck, almost leaving me incoherent. I shivered, my skin pebbling under his touch and I leaned back further into his arms, closing my eyes as his warmth surrounded me.

"Hmmm," I managed to murmur, nothing else coming to mind. How was it he had this effect on me?

"And you don't think you have the same effect on me, my love, my Bella?" I had spoken my thoughts out loud.

At his smirking tone, I opened my eyes to find his face so close to mine that I could not resist reaching up to kiss his lips, reaching for the short hairs at the back of his neck. Now it was his turn to murmur and close his eyes.

"It would seem, my love, that we are both affected," I grinned at him salaciously, his eyes opening as my lips left his. "I love you, my Edward," my tone was a little more serious, "You know that?"

"I do indeed, my love. Now that you are staying with me, I find myself reluctant to let you go." His eyes bored into mine, worried now. "What if it doesn't work, Bella? I can't be without you now." He took a deep breath. "I know Alice and I have talked this through and we will find a way to cope with things if it all goes wrong, but I don't want that, I don't want you to leave."

"I don't want to go either, Edward, but leaving things as they are now, allows for a chance that something may go wrong in the future. And no matter what happens, I don't want to be torn away from our life here, and if we leave it open that could happen."

Tears slowly seeped from my eyes as I contemplated not only the short time we would have to be apart but also the horrifying thought that we could be unexpectedly parted for always.

"Shh, Bella, it will all work out as it's supposed to, you'll see. Come to bed now, I need you in my arms until it is time for you to go." Picking me up, Edward moved us to the bed, where we slept the night away as close as two people could get without being inside each others' skin.

The following day dawned sunny and bright, not matching my feelings at all. Edward and I stayed in his rooms—or our rooms—as he said they now were, until Rose knocked lightly on the door saying that everything was now ready. He refused to let me go alone and we descended the stairs to the drawing room, hand in hand, to find Esme, Rose, and Sara waiting for us, along with the vanity set and the new mirror already engraved. Esme had added the appropriate words to the journal and now all that was left was for me to take the brush, which had brought me here, to start the permanent process.

Sara spoke quietly, "Do not worry, Bella. This will work and you will be back here before you know it."

She proceeded to give me further instructions on what I would have to do once I was back in my time. "You will need to find the mirror, stand in front of it, hold the frame and recite the words from the journal. Once you have uttered the last of them, you must break the mirror image; your image in the past, and that will ignite the final part of the spell, returning you to this time, switching places with Alice. Be sure that no one is touching you at this time or the spell will be negated and the cycle will begin again, though it will never be active for you again." Her warning came again, not that I would forget.

I looked at Edward, suddenly afraid that this would be the last time I would see him. Throwing myself at him, I hugged him tightly, trying to hold on to my emotions, especially in front of everyone else.

His hold on me tightened and he whispered that he would always love me in my ear, kissing me softly, vowing to wait for me. A few minutes later, I knew I had to let go and begin; it was time.

Turning to face the others, I took Esme and Rose's hands and thanked them for standing by me and believing in me. With one final kiss for Edward, I stepped forward while Sara began to recite the engraved words. Closing my eyes, I grasped the handle of the brush that would take me back, thinking it was strange that it actually was present at the same time as the original. Shaking my head to get rid of the unanswerable conundrum, I felt the usual nausea swirling through me as the blackness took over, rendering me unconscious.

** Irrevocable **