I literally always forget to update this

got an old smiths' record and I put it on endlessly.

to mourn a lethal fascination of a girl named valerie

CHAPTER NINE

"Hey, Valerie. It's dad. Hoping you can drop by today and pick up the rest of your things. I need to clear out your room. Mariana and I will be home all day. Thanks."

Unbelievable. Valerie had been moved out nine months and they were already getting rid of her room. She would bet money that Stef's room was still perfectly intact in case he needed some place to fall back on. But Valerie had to go pick up all her things.

She didn't want to. She hadn't been home since she moved out.

Valerie deleted the message.

The next message on her machine was from Stef.

"I saw you and Jack sneak off last night. I know you guys don't want me to do this but you could at least pretend to support me. Seriously."

She deleted that one, too. The next message was from Stef again.

"Oh fuck. Tonight was your birthday. Forget everything I said. I love you."

That one got a chuckle out of her.

"Stef's really kissing ass in that one. That's the only time he throws that word around."

Jack stumbled into her view.

"Well he's got a lot of sucking up to do so he has to come on strong."

Jack said something else but Valerie was lost in her head. She had to go pick up all her things at her dads house and she really didn't want to go alone. She was too embarrassed to call Cole; she didn't want him to see her old place and the way her old man got on. She couldn't call Stef because he would just start a fight with their dad. He hated how their dad treated her.

She cut Jack off mid-sentence. She wasn't even sure what he had been saying. "Will you come to my dads with me? I gotta pick up some things."

Jack yawned, stretching out. "I just got up and was thinking about going back to bed. Can't you ask someone else? Maybe your boyfriend?"

Valerie bit down on her lip. "I don't want to ask him."

"Why not?"

"I don't want him to see..." How she grew up. How her dad treated her like a second class citizen in her own home. That her step-mom was a drunk. Jack didn't know half of that stuff either but at least she knew he wouldn't cower and run away.

"I get it. You're embarrassed of where you're from because he's some high class douchebag. If he doesn't like you for the white trash you are-" Valerie gave him a look, daring him to finish that. "Fine. I'm gonna go get ready."

Valerie walked up the front steps to her old house and wanted to run back down them. The only thing that stopped her was the fact Jack was behind her, blocking her in.

She didn't knock, the both of them just stepped in. Mariana and her dad were both sat at the kitchen table having breakfast. Mariana had a coffee but there was a flask of rum beside her, there was no doubt in Valerie's mind that a whole lot of that flask was poured in her morning drink. Mariana was a sweet woman, she just had a booze problem. He dad was buttering toast; he didn't even look up when they came in.

Mariana did. "Dennis, Val's here."

Her dad nodded. Mariana sighed.

"Val, I wanted to tell you if you want to keep your room, you can. I can put my work out stuff somewhere else."

It was a nice gesture but Valerie shook her head. She knew her dad would freak out at her if she didn't go get her things and let Mariana take over Valerie's bedroom for Mariana's precious work out room.

"It's fine. I got my own place."

"See, I told you she wouldn't give a shit," her dad finally looked up at her and it was to screw up his face. "Who's that guy behind you? Your boyfriend?"

"It's Jack, dad. Stef's best friend."

Her dad still didn't seem any more pleased with her answer. "I don't see Stef. Why's he here with you?"

Valerie didn't roll her eyes but she wanted to.

"I'm her roommate, Mr. Beaumont," Jack chinned in. "She said she might need a hand moving some things so I told her I'd help."

All that sounded way too polite to be coming out of Jack Mercer's mouth.

"That true?" Valerie gave her dad a nod. "It ain't classy for a girl to be movin' in with some guy before she's married."

In her head, Valerie laughed to herself. Because her father was the epitome of classy. He had two kids: one from his girlfriend that he planned on leaving and another from an affair. Such a classy guy.

"You also shouldn't be foolin' around with the scum around here. Those boys will get you nowhere but dead ends and six feet under."

Valerie had enough. She grabbed Jack and pulled him up the staircase. Her dad hadn't come right out and say it but it had been implied. Her dad had called Jack scum.

When they were in her room, Valerie shut the door.

"I'm sorry for that. You're not scum, Jack."

Jack shrugged and started throwing some of her things in the boxes her dad had set up. "It's nothing, Val. He was way more of a dick to you."

"That's why I wanted to take you. I knew you could handle it."

It was silent for a while, they just packed up the boxes. Everything she left here was small. Stuffed animals, posters, CDs, and various pictures of her friends. She didn't even need all of it but she wasn't going to stay here longer to sort through it.

"Why is he like that with you?" Jack said suddenly. "He always seemed right on when Stef was around."

"He just doesn't like me," said Valerie quietly. "I'm some bastard child that doesn't belong in his eyes. I remind him of how he fucked up."

Jack's mouth opened but he closed it again. He looked unsure if he should say what was on his mind or not. "But what about your mom?"

Valerie laughed humourlessly. "She's not around. Left me when I was a baby when she found out about Stef. She didn't want to be reminded that my dad had cheated on her."

Jack turned around. He didn't utter and word and only his back was facing her. She thought maybe she said something wrong. She never asked about Jack's childhood. Stef knew about it and all he ever told her was it was bad. Maybe she sounded whiney. Valerie did have a house over her head her whole life; something Jack couldn't say for himself.

Jack picked up as many boxes as he could and headed downstairs. Valerie picked up what was left and followed him.

"You got everything?" Her dad said gruffly when she reached the bottom of the stairs.

"I think so. I don't care," she said. "Throw out whatever's left."

"Ungrateful." He muttered under his breath.

Mariana followed Valerie out on to the porch. Mariana shut the door behind her.

"Valerie?" Mariana's voice sounded strange. Maybe she was drunker than usual. "It gets too quiet. I miss Stef. Tell him to come see his mama alright?"

That was the second mother that asked Valerie to tell their son to come see them. She would tell Stef. Valerie didn't enjoy being in that house but she knew Stef did. He had to, he had all the attention.

Valerie smiled. "See you, Mariana."

Jack had already loaded all his boxes into the truck. Valerie's wouldn't fit so she threw them in the back seat. Jack sat in the passenger seat waiting for her.

"I always thought you had it easy, a real mom, a real dad, a real brother, you were born with a stable house over your head, I was always jealous..." Jack trailed off. "Evelyn was my second chance but I'd always wished she was my first. But you don't even have a mom and you're dad's a dick. I can't fucking believe I was jealous of that?"

"Thanks?" Valerie tried not to sound offended.

"Not what I mean," Jack said quickly. "It's just I got and second chance so maybe I was luckier than I thought."

"I don't feel like I belong there ya know?" Valerie said. "It was always Stef they loved. Mariana's always been decent to me but she never acted like a mom. My dad hasn't acted like much of a dad, either. I felt like a foster kid in there. Someone temporary, expendable. Stef always tried to include me but it didn't help."

"Screw them, then," Jack's voice raised. "Fuck them. You don't need them. You're gonna get somewhere without them."

"You've got people who care about you, Val," Jack said. Valerie looked away. "You've got Stef, you've got me."

"You care about me?"

Jack stayed silent. Valerie thought maybe she intimidated him.

"You wanna know how out band got our name?"

Valerie nodded.

"Remember that old house just down the block from mine? It had been deemed unsafe and abandoned but the demolition date had been pushed ahead so many times the damn thing had been forgotten about. Ashley and I used to sneak in there and screw."

Valerie almost rolled her eyes at the mention of Ashley. Ashley was the worst thing that ever happened to Jack; he became a total different person when she was in his life. Ashley was a wreck herself. Bobby thought she would get Jack hooked on speed or something, like she was. He didn't, he didn't even dabble. Valerie wanted to make a snotty comment about Jack's ex but decided on keeping her mouth shut. She wanted to see where his story was going to go.

"I went there alone one night after Ashley had gone home, it was really late but I thought that's where I had left my watch. That's when I caught you," they locked eyes and Jacks lips twitched. "You had bottles of spray paint, stencils, and brushes scattered all around the floor and you were making this mural. It was just of Detroit but you didn't try to embellish it, it was so real. Everything was raw and run down like it actually is."

"In these bold letters you had 'may have fallen but will rise' and I just loved it. God damn, it made me feel something. You didn't even notice me. You were so concentrated. I've seen more of your work later on, I could just tell when things were yours, and when the boys were suggesting names I just kept thinking of your stuff but I couldn't think of anything to match it. We were The Spades for about three weeks but then it came to me. Then birthed the Detroit Vandals."

Valerie was speechless. Nobody knew about her street art or rather, she hadn't thought anybody had. Valerie thought the boys just came up with the name because it sounded edgy. She had even made a joke of it many times.

"I can't believe you knew..." She said just above a whisper. "But why name it after me?"

"Your art represented something," Jack said. "I wanted our music to do that. Mean something, create a message."

The Detroit Vandals no longer sounded cheesy to Valerie. She felt the sensation to cry but she couldn't in front of him. Instead, she let herself smile.