Chapter 16

Harry walked into the library where he had agreed to meet Ron and Hermione to do homework for an hour before he had to go down to the dungeons. He spotted them at one of the tables near the back. Their heads where together and they were whispering feverishly. Curiously Harry walked closer, moving behind the book racks so that wouldn't see him.

"… Hermione he isn't going to like that at all." Ron said, shaking his head.

"I know Ron, but I'm really worried. I know he's grieving but he can't keep going like this. Lets just talk to him."

"Give him some more time, he'll come round. He was loads better last weekend."

"But…"

Harry backed away. He didn't want to hear anymore. The anger he felt at them talking about behind his back overrode the guilt of spying on his friends. In a way, he supposed, that they were trying to help but it irritated him immensely anyway. They wanted their 'Harry' back. His normal self. They didn't like him as he was now. Not that he could blame, he didn't like who he was. But still…

He realised, perhaps too late that he was walking along the Defence Against the Dark Arts corridor. Just as he was about turn and hurry away, Lupin came out of his office.

"Hello, Harry" The man said, smiling at him. Too late.

"Hi sir."

"Would you like to come in?" He asked gesturing to his office.

"Sorry sir, can't." Harry replied, trying to smile back. It wasn't really a lie but he still felt horrible for it. "I've got a lesson with Snape now."

The werewolf seemed to frown almost. "Alright then see you around."

"Bye sir." Harry walked down the corridor. He could feel Lupins' eyes on his back until he turned the corner.

It was still too soon to go down. Harry figured he could just wait outside the door for fifteen minutes. He really didn't feel like bumping into anyone else. At least the dungeons wouldn't be busy this time of night.

The Entrance Hall was deserted as Harry suspected it would be. He quietly went down the stairs on the side. Reaching the door, he slid down the wall next to it. Folding his arms over his legs he thought perhaps he could get some last minute occlumency practice. Taking a breath he pushed his anger and confused thoughts away.

/\/\/\/\/\

Severus muttered mutinously under his breath as walked through his office to the door. Dumbledore was a menace. The man wouldn't let him move his private stores cupboard into his lab. Some rubbish about hazards that it might produce and that the task of resetting all the charms on it was too onerous. He was a bloody Potions master. He knew about the hazards for Merlin's sake! If he wanted to move his personal cupboard into his lab, it should be his business. He shouldn't have to trek across the dungeons for his ingredients! He was more than willing to bet the man thought he would spent all his time in his lab doing research or making potions. And why not? It washis time after all!

He stalked across the class intent on getting some rattlesnake venom from his private store cupboard to add to the brew he was making and through the door open. He was expecting a bang, not a surprised yelp and crack from the other side as it thudded against something softer than the wall.

Severus whipped out his wand and through the door back angrily. He hated being caught off guard. He almost always knew when people where around since hardly anyone thought to conceal their thoughts when they tried to hide. Who would have the audacity to try catch him unawares outside his own classroom? The door crashed back into its frame, revealing none other than Potter crouched against the wall holding his head. He looked up in horror through cracked glasses, straight down the point of Severus' wand. His arms flew up protectively.

"Potter!" He snapped. "What are you doing?"

"W-waiting sir." The boy replied weakly.

"What?" That through him slightly. "Behind the door?"

"I was t-too early."

"How good of you to see fit not to be tardy." Severus sneered sarcastically. He forced himself to relax. Potter was pressed as far against the wall as he could manage, his arms crossed over his head and chess defensively and he was nearly going squint with the effort of keeping Severus' wand in focus. He could definitely sense his emotions now. Fear, horror and shock. Severus flicked his wrist, causing the boy to recoil, but it was meant merely to repair his glasses.

"Go inside. I will return shortly"

Potter scrambled up as soon as he stepped back.

/\/\/\/\/\

Harry just about collapsed into a desk inside. He had thought the man was going to hex him. The man had looked furious. He shook his head, trying to stop it ringing and shake loose the fear that had lodged itself in his throat. He wondered why Snape, who was usually so stealthy, was in such a mood that he would throw the door open so violently. He willed his heart to stop hammering against his ribs.

Just then Snape returned, closing the door behind him with a distinct click. Locked. Harry swallowed hard.

"You were practising?"

"S-sorry?" Harry asked nonplussed.

"When you were gracing the floor outside my door with you presence," he sneered, "you were occluding, were you not?"

"Y-yes"

"You have improved."

"T-thank you sir" Harry was confused. First the man was angry then he was… complimenting him? He shifted nervously.

"However Potter I must warn you. I do not like being caught unawares. It would not be wise to do something like that again." Snape was looking at him with a rather shrewdly. Harry felt the urge to raise his mental barriers. He hated how it felt like the man was looking right into him.

"We are going to start basic defence and attacking today."

/\/\/\/\/\

Severus had thought very carefully about this. He was not quite sure exactly how he was going to teach the boy defence without Potter panicking. He would see how things went.

"Take your robe and amulet off." He said, standing up and walking into the space he had cleared as usual for their lesson. He watched the boy reluctantly removing his black school robe and even more reluctantly, the stone around his neck. At least, Severus thought as it came off, his face was no longer black and blue.

"I want you to punch my hand Potter." He said, holding it up, palm facing the boy. "As hard and accurately as you can."

The boy looked at his hand dubiously. Severus could see that this simple task was raising some objects in Potter's mind. He suspected one of them was that it meant coming closer to him.

"Tonight, Potter, if you please."

The boy stepped forward hesitantly. He balled his fist and hit Severus' hand. It was a weak hit which was just as well because if he had hit hard with his hand in that position he would have broken his fingers. Snape said as much.

"Hold your hand like so" He demonstrated, showing Potter a his fist, with his thumb resting just below his knuckles. "Try again"

The boy did, moving just close enough to hit his hand and then move away.

/\/\/\/\/\

Harry did not like having to move so close to the Potion's master. He didn't like it when the man moved into his space either which had made the other combat sessions with him very uncomfortable to say the least.

"Again Potter. Harder." Harry was trying. The man had no idea how hard it was for him to hit him. It was difficult when his stomach kept twisting with dread every time he did.

"Stop" Snape was looking at him again with his dark calculating eyes. Harry felt exposed.

"Are you afraid to hit me Potter?" How did the man always seem to guess what he was feeling? It was uncanny.

"N-no sir" He felt like it was himself he was trying to convince though.

"Indeed. Try again. You must be able to hit harder. Try using both hands. I am not going to hit you back." Snapes' eyes watch him intently as he moved back and forth, not even blinking as Harry hit him.

/\/\/\/\/\

"I want you to try use your feet to throw your weight behind your fist." Judging by the lack of comprehension on the boy's face, he hadn't a clue what he meant. "Like so Potter." Severus turned so he wasn't facing the boy, braced his feet and punched the air. Potter watched and then tried to copy.

As they continued, Severus made him add punches into his movement routine. While Potter was managing to keep everything together-although awkwardly- he could see that the boy was trying to keep distance between them. Trying to move away from him as they practiced. Eventually he stopped him.

"That's enough Potter."

"Yes sir." The boy replied, relief clear on his face.

"Sit" He motioned to his desk. The boy took a seat in front of it. Folding himself into his chair, Severus looked at him pensively.

"I need to ask you a few questions about the pain potion you have been taking."

"Why?" Harry looked at him warily, shifting in his chair. He added a hasty "sir" on seeing his raised eyebrow.

"Because Potter I find myself wondering how an underage wizard manages to get hold of an extremely addictive substance that generally is only prescribed by trained Healers and then usually only in very serious cases." He said evenly.

"I-" Potter looked like he had no idea what to say. "I didn't really know it was that bad." He finished lamely.

"Indeed. Which leads me to believe that you didn't get by conventional means." Severus said quietly. He had some suspicions about this.

"I didn't s-steal it if that's what you mean"

/\/\/\/\

"How did you come by it?" Snape's voice was level.

"I…" Harry didn't know how to explain it without Snape catching him out for lying or giving something away by accident. Maybe he could get out of it with a bit of truth and omission. "I got it at an apothecary in London." Although Harry hoped against it, he knew that the man was going to want to know more… He wasn't disappointed.

"Which one Potter? It could hardly have been the one in Diagon Alley." He was sure there was a note of impatience in Snape's voice. Harry found himself wanting to put his mental shields weak as they were. It was one more protective layer he could hide behind. But Harry didn't he'd be able to hold the conversation at the same time and the man always seemed to know when he did anyway. Then he would know he was trying to lie or hide something. Harry did not want to make the man angry.

"Well?" Snape looked at him, before adding ""You will not be punished for buying it even if the shop sells items of a….questionable nature."

Harry knew the man wouldn't give up until he said something. "It was in Knockturn Alley" He mumbled hoping it would stop the questions.

/\/\/\/\/

It was like drawing teeth with Potter. Every piece of information he would give had to be dragged out of him. "When?"

"Just before the school term started" He answered, a little too cautiously. Severus got the feeling that the boy was not telling the entire truth but he left it at that.

"Have you taken it since yesterday?" The boy shook his head. "Look me in the eye Potter and tell me you haven't" He had to be sure. The boy hesitated and for a moment he thought he would refuse but, however unwillingly, the boy looked at him and said "No" before wrenching his eyes away. Satisfied Severus reached into his draw and pulled out a potion that would clear the boy's system of all magical substances and handed it to him before dismissing him. Potter was out the door in a shot.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"How was your lesson?" Hermione asked as Harry sat down to join them at the table she and Ron where doing homework at.

"Alright I guess." He said as he dug in his bag for his potions essay. "But you'll never guess what happened on my back here."

"What?" Ron asked. Hermione looked up, interested.

"One guess. It involves everybody's favourite Slytherin."

"Malfoy?"

"Yeah."

"And….?"

"I was walking along the dungeon's corridor and he came around the corner all on his own. And then he started his usual rubbish but then… then he told me to watch myself and he smirked and walked off. It was really weird. Like he knew something I didn't."

"Harry you know what he's like. He loves to think that he's just so well informed. He's probably just trying to scare you." Hermione said impatiently.

"I dunno… I mean if Malfoy thinks he's got the one up on Harry it means trouble." Ron said, trying to look over the pile of books and at Hermione's page. She moved it away without looking.

"Well then we'll just have to be careful. Besides if it comes to a duel Harry will be all right. Won't you Harry?"

Harry nodded thoughtfully.The incident had made him forget he was angry with the two people sitting across from him. Besides which, letting them know he had heard would only bring about an open invitation for them to question him, a situation he wanted to avoid.The conversation turned to when they could next visit Hagrid who they hadn't seen for a while. He excused himself saying he wanted an early night.

Climbing beneath the covers he stared pensively at the vial Snape had given him. Malfoy he could handle- he had for years. The Potions Master was another thing all together. The man just wouldn't leave him alone. He was getting better damn it! He didn't need Snape's help. The mere fact he could walk down the corridor without flinching every time somebody touched him meant he was ok. He was strong; he could do it on his own. He had for a long time. He knocked the contents of the bottle he had been given back in one go and laid down to try and get some rest.